He'd stopped by the locker room on his way to his car, hoping that he would be able to catch Ryan before he left for the day. It seemed as if the fates were smiling on him as he found his young colleague reaching into his locker for his jacket.

"Mr Wolfe," he said after a beat or two, standing sideways in the doorway, fiddling with his ever-present sunglasses.

"Hey, H. You calling it a night?"

"I am. But first I wanted to let you know that I spoke to the Chief earlier…..about your suggestion."

Ryan looked at him hopefully. "What did he say?"

He looked up briefly at the younger man. "The paperwork should be in place in a few days, everything else is just a formality."

Ryan had wanted to punch the air with happiness, relief washed over him that perhaps now things would change. Such obvious displays of emotion would not sit well with his reserved superior, and so he settled for shaking Horatio's hand instead. "You won't regret this, H. I promise you."

He could see the sincerity and genuine appreciation in the expression on Ryan's face, he knew that the man before him would not let him down. Ryan had travelled a long and difficult road over the last few years, and it was only now that the he was coming into his own as a police officer and a man.

Perhaps the two of them had been brought closer together by their chequered pasts, both men understood what it felt like to be pushed aside and treated as if they were no better than the criminals that they had sworn to protect this great city from. Both of them had made poor choices and had been made to pay for them repeatedly. Yet they were both still here, still standing, after everything the world had thrown at them, they still held firm. Battered and bruised, but strong enough to weather the storm.

Ryan's poor choices could have led him down a dangerous path, yet he chose to acknowledge his own frailties and work to rectify them instead. Ryan had learned from the mistakes of his past and had used them to become a better man. The young CSI's request had been something that he had not been expecting, and it had initially given him cause for great concern. Yet the longer he thought about it, the more sense it made.

Life was about second chances, Lord knows that he'd had enough of his own. It gave him heart to know that friendship and loyalty meant more to Ryan than he had ever given him credit for. There were not many men who would have risked their own necks in order to help another, yet he had, and he had done so willingly.

A small part of him hoped that he had influenced the fine man that Ryan had become, common sense dictated that the man had got there by himself, but had his guidance helped to show the right path to the wayward young officer? Had he really made a difference?

When Ryan had asked him for that favour, he knew that he could not deny him, it was not his place to stand in the way of forgiveness for others. Perhaps that was what it came down to at the end of the day, accepting the past for what it was, healing old wounds and finally moving on with the hope that there was a better day out there waiting for them….somewhere.

He felt Ryan's firm grip as he shook hands with him, it was then that he realised how proud he was to know him. Showering his team with unbridled praise had never really been his style, and it would serve neither man well should he be gushing in his admiration of him now. Instead, he settled for using his free hand to pat Ryan's shoulder. "I have complete faith in you, Ryan. You're a good man and a fine police officer. Never let anyone tell you different."

He gave Ryan a tight nod before leaving his gobsmacked colleague behind in the locker room, safe in the knowledge that he had at least given some small semblance of hope to someone today. The warm feeling inside of him was soon doused by thoughts of what he was about to do. Would she ever come to understand why he had done it? Would she understand that he felt as if he'd had no choice?

It didn't really matter either way, but he would live in hope that one day she would accept his reasons and love him despite of it.

He'd rather hoped that the drive home would ease his mind a little, yet he was left sadly disappointed that it hadn't. He'd been distracted at best as he drove, with each mile that brought him closer to Calleigh's house, the more he felt a part of his heart being chipped away at. He'd reached his destination all too soon as he pulled into her driveway, wishing that there was any other way.

It wasn't to be, this was how it was meant to be. How it had to be.

The house was darkened as he turned his key in the door, knowing that this would be the final time that he would be able to return here and truly call it home. As before, he found a sense of solitude and calm in the darkness as he made his way through the hallway and began to ascend the stairs.

He felt as if he had aged a lifetime as he pulled his weary body up further, each and every step he took was another one further away from the woman he loved, the torturous journey almost more than his shattered soul could bear. His footsteps sounded far too loud as he continued to trudge his way to the bedroom, the bedroom that he had spent so many nights in. The bedroom that he would now no longer have a place in.

He flicked on the light and felt the shadows fall over his frame once more. In the shade no one could see the cracks in him, yet in the light he found himself constantly shrouded by a deep cloud of darkness, one that people could see if they cared to look close enough. He needed the dark, it had always been his most stalwart of friends, protecting him from the harsh and unforgiving glare of the day, keeping him to the shadows where he and his damaged soul belonged.

One glance around the room and he could see small examples of his influence, the reminders that he and Calleigh would share, despite their relationship being so brief. This was a room that held so many conflicting memories and emotions for him, this room had seen him at his worst, and yet still it felt like the safest place in the world to him.

People would question why he felt as though he had to leave the one place he felt safe, the one place where he truly felt accepted. The truth would not be easy to explain, and he doubted that he fully understood the reasons himself. Yet he knew that he had to do this, that this was the right course of action to take. He couldn't let his lingering doubts dissuade him from what it was that he had to do. After all she had done for him, he owed it to her to do this, even if she could not understand the reasons why.

He found the holdall in the far corner of the wardrobe, placing it on the bed with a sigh, he began to fill it with his belongings. It was with great sadness that he pulled his clothes from the drawers and packed them neatly away. He'd been here before, he'd done this before. Except back in New York he'd never been given the chance to collect his things, he'd fled the city with only the clothes on his back and the few paltry photographs that he'd managed to save. Somehow this was worse, packing his things and removing every last memory from the room that would signal that he'd ever been there in the first place.

Bag packed, he sat down heavily on his side of the bed, a bed that would no longer be one that he could call his. His constant shuffling around the room had alerted Moses to his presence, the sleek black cat crept into the room almost meekly as he regarded his master with quizzical eyes. "Hey, boy," he called out to the cat, holding his hand out so that Moses could arch his back and run it over his palm.

It was as if the cat could sense something was wrong as it leaped onto the bed and into Horatio's lap, settling himself down as if his paltry weight alone could stop the man he loved from leaving the room. "I'm going to miss you, you know that?" he said to the cat, shaking his head and feeling foolish for talking to an animal that was hardly likely to talk back. "I need you to look after Calleigh for me. Can you do that?"

Moses mewed quietly, the sadness in the noise made him feel worse than he already did. Would either of them ever forgive him for what he was about to do?

The time to think about the repercussions would come later, right now he needed to act. Lifting the cat in his arms, he placed a gentle kiss on its head and set him down on the bed. He picked up the holdall and made his way to the door, giving the room one last look before he left it for good.

The descent of the stairs was even worse than he'd imagined, with every footstep he could feel another nail being hammered into his heart, closing the door further on the happiness and love that Calleigh was so clearly offering him. He was bound by his actions now, as he felt the shackles placed around his soul being tightened with every tormented step he took. It seemed as if he were descending back down into the same darkness that had shrouded him for such a long time now, but still he couldn't stop. He had to go, there was no other way.

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, yet his actions recently had done just that. It was with a heavy heart that he realised that he would only cause her more pain by staying. She was too close to him to see that she was enabling his current behaviour, allowing him to get away with his transgressions, unwilling to look past her love for him to realise that he had been partly to blame for the things that he had done. It was not fair on her that he continue to do so, it was better this way, he could no longer allow her to love half a man. She deserved more than that, she deserved a man who was worthy of her love, the closer he looked at himself, the more he found himself wanting in that respect.

He loved her, of that he was sure. Yet he wasn't sure who it was that she was in love with, he was no longer Horatio, just as he was no longer John. He needed time and space to find out who he really was, he knew that he would not be able to do that when she was so close at hand. Her love for him would blind her to his failings, he still had so much work to do in order to repair his fractured soul, and he knew that he would not be able to do so with the temptation of running and hiding so strong.

Had it really been all that long ago that he had prided himself on his strength? The steely determination of both John Kelly and Horatio Caine seemed like a lifetime ago, had the Malucci's taken that away from him, had they changed the man he was into something that he no longer recognised?

He felt safe with Calleigh, as if nothing could ever hurt him when he held her in his arms, he could show his weaknesses and vulnerabilities to her and not feel ashamed for doing so. But staying safe would not help him rebuild his life, he needed to find the will and the fight to do so for himself. If he stayed, he knew that his resolve would weaken, he would forever want to run away from the horrors of his past and knew that he'd have a willing ally in her.

Would she ever understand that she was his reason for leaving? He loved her with all his heart, yet his was a heart that was damaged from one too many blows. He wanted her to love him as an equal, someone with who he was on a level footing with. He was not a man who wanted to be needy, yet that was exactly what he felt each time he stumbled in front of her. He didn't want to just feel safe, he wanted to feel vibrant and free. He wanted to be a man who was strong and independent, a man that Calleigh could rely on. A man who was her equal.

He wanted all of these things and more, yet he knew that he would not find them in her loving embrace alone. He would be forced to make a perilous journey into the unknown, a journey of self-discovery, a journey that he had to make alone. It wasn't that he didn't want her there by his side, he wanted nothing more, but he would never complete the journey if she were there. When he found his faith and courage wavering, she would hold out her hands and pull him close, using her own body to keep him safe from harm. The temptation to give in when the road became rocky would be too much to resist. This was a journey that he had to make alone. There was simply no other choice.

And so he sat in the darkness, bags packed, waiting for the woman he loved to return.

He heard her Hummer pull up a short time later as the headlights illuminated the darkness of the lower level of the house. He'd deliberately left the lights off, not wanting Calleigh to see the pain written across his face as she walked through the door. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he sat and waited for her to enter.

She frowned as she turned her key in the door, noticing that all of the lights in the house were off. Panic seized her heart at first, before common sense kicked in and prevented her from running into the house all guns blazing. The day had been long and tiring for all of them, especially Horatio, she wouldn't have been surprised if he'd grabbed a quick shower and then headed straight for bed. She certainly couldn't blame him, she felt like doing exactly the same thing.

The door creaked open quietly as she flicked on the hallway light and was greeted by a sight she hadn't been expecting. Her eyes fell to the large holdall sitting on the floor before rising to find the man she loved sitting silently on the bottom step of the stairs, his hands clasped tightly together as his elbows rested on his knees.

"What's this?" she asked as walked towards him, stopping suddenly when he refused to look at her. "I thought you didn't need to leave for New York 'til tomorrow?"

"I don't," he replied quietly. His eyes still firmly glued to the floor.

"Then what's with the bag?"

He finally lifted his head and looked at her, pinning her with those soulful blue eyes of his. She could not deny the look of profound sadness in them as he stood and made his way towards her. She could tell by the look on his face that she would not like what he was about to say. "I'm leaving," he whispered as he placed his hands on her upper arms.

"For New York?"

He shook his head, gulping deeply before he spoke again. "I'm leaving here."

She could feel her world falling down around her, this was her worst nightmare come to life. After everything they had been through, why would he want to leave her? Why now?

"I don't understand. I thought you loved me," had she been a little less shell-shocked, she would have laughed at the needy way she spoke.

"I do, Sweetheart."

"Then why do you want to leave?"

He took a shuddering breath as he squeezed her arms lightly. "It's not that I want to…believe me, I don't…..But I have to, Calleigh…I have to go."

He refused to make eye contact with her, every attempt she made to connect with him resulted in him turning his head and looking the other way. "Just tell me why. What is it that I've done to push you away?"

She felt herself being pulled towards him as he embraced her fiercely, kissing the top of her head as he tried to convey just how much this was all his fault. "You haven't done anything. It's me…..I'm hurting you by staying here."

She pulled away and finally made eye contact with him. "No, you'll hurt me by leaving. I love you, Horatio…..I need you here. Isn't that enough?"

How could he put into words how he was feeling? How could he make her see that he needed time and space to be the man that she loved, the man that she deserved. "I love you…..never doubt that. But there are things I must do alone…..I want to be the man you deserve, Calleigh, not just some shell of the man you think I am."

"But I love the person you are now, even if you don't," she responded defiantly. This was the biggest fight of her life, she would throw everything and more at it to make sure that the man she loved stayed by her side.

"And that's the point. I don't know who it is that I am anymore. There are things I need to do….things that I must face alone. I'll never know who I am otherwise."

"So why can't you do that here?" she asked, anger was beginning to build inside of her. He was running away from her. Again.

"Because I love you too much, Calleigh. I need to find the strength to face these things on my own….I can't do that if I stay here."

His eyes pleaded with her to believe him, to have the faith in him to let him go. With each word that he spoke, he could see the devastation mirrored in her face. He was causing her this pain, he was hurting the woman he loved.

"How long?"

It wasn't a question that he could answer with any certainty. His journey could take days, months, maybe even years. Would she still wait for him? He wouldn't blame her if she didn't, it would be unfair of him to expect her to put her life on hold for him. "I don't know," he answered finally, feeling his voice crack with emotion. He pulled her to him again and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"Would it make a difference if I told you that I don't want you to go?"

She could feel his head shaking and knew the answer before he spoke. There would be nothing she could say that would change his mind. Horatio Caine was a stubborn man if nothing else, once his mind was made up it would be next to impossible to sway him from the course of action that he had set for himself.

Breaking the embrace, he cupped her face softly and kissed her deeply, hoping to inject something, anything into her that would sustain her through the near future, knowing that she would feel abandoned and betrayed by his actions. He tried to convey just how much he loved and cared for her with that one lingering kiss, never wanting to break the intimate contact between them, knowing that perhaps this would be the last time he would ever be this close to her again.

He held her there for as long as he could, kissing her as if his life depended on it. He finally broke away as he leaned his forehead to hers and gasped for breath. He could see the tears that streaked their way down her face as she looked at him, her bottom lip trembling as she tried valiantly to keep her emotions in check. He had to go, knowing that if he stayed a minute longer that his resolve would weaken instantly and that he would stay by her side for all eternity, hiding from the truth that he still needed to confront.

With one last tender kiss on her forehead, he broke away from her almost roughly as he felt the tears prick at his own eyes. He pulled his arm away as she made a grab for it, before picking his bag up and striding to the door. He had to stay strong, there was no other choice, no matter how much her wailing broke his heart, he knew that he had to do this. That this was the only way.

He had to go, he had to go now. He couldn't bear to listen to her broken sobs as she pleaded with him not to leave. The tears fell freely from his own eyes as he reached for the handle and opened the door. He wanted so badly to turn around and take one final look at her, but he couldn't, he couldn't turn around without wanting to run back to the safe haven of her arms, to take away the pain that he had caused her.

It was now or never, he had to leave. He felt his bottom lip tremble as he crossed the threshold and stepped outside, stepping out into the great unknown, into a world that felt so harsh and daunting. Behind him stood safety and comfort, ahead was uncharted territory that he knew he had to discover for himself. His hand shook as he shut the door behind him, he let his head fall back as he heard her sob, falling back until it made contact with the thick wooden surface, his own tears dampening his face.

He couldn't leave, not without telling her, yet he didn't trust his voice to hold. A pained whisper was the most he could manage as he turned his head to the right, lifting up a hand and placing it on the door as he spoke. "I'm sorry," he sobbed, "Please…..forgive me."

A/N: And that's the end of book two of the When Two Worlds Collide series. I want to thank each and every person who has read, reviewed or PMed me their comments about this story. It's been an epic journey and one that I hope everyone has enjoyed. Please keep your eyes peeled for book three, coming soon...