Everyone Loves The Hat!
by M2 the Mewtwo Guru
Disclaimer: I don't own SSMB..but I own a crayon..if you say I own that game...I'll scribble "Merf" all over you!
A/N: Vote for Mario at GameFAQs.com! We all love Mario, right? Right? Er...I'll shut up..This is just a crazy fic for our dear hero...MARIO!
Twas another day at the House of Mouse when..er...I mean the Super Smash Bros. Mansion when Pichu was wondering around with Mario's prized hat.
Pichu: *singing* My name is PICHU! I walk on two feet! But when I run, I run on THREE! I mean FOUR! I have on a hat! That's what I'm good for! If you take it away! I'll slice you into MORE! *to himself* That made no freaking sense...
Luigi: *walks by* Whacha doing little buddy?
Pichu: What the--? I ain't your little buddy! You..You gay man!
Luigi: You have it don't you?!
Pichu: *hides hat* I HAVE NOTHING! YOU LIE!
Luigi: Give-a me back my pudding!
Pichu: ....
Luigi: GIVE IT TO-A ME!
Pichu: Oh cut out that fake accent you retard!
Luigi: *gasp* Luigi...sad...er..MY PUDDING!
Pichu: *thinking*I thought Pikachu got drunk around here....
Luigi: I WANT MY PUDDING!
Pichu: *looking up* Is that a pudding on the cloud?
Luigi: PUDDING?! WHERE?!?!?! *runs off*
Pichu: Poor guy...where inside the house...
So Pichu walked off with Mario's hat looking proud and dangerous as always...er I mean CUTE! Yeah, cute!
Mario: Where-a is my hat? Why, oh, why did it-a leave my head? HAT WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
DK: *thinking* I knew it..first the plumber goes crazy...and soon...everyone is going to trying to kill me! I must do something....
Mario: DONKEY KONG! Where is-a my hat? Hm?
DK: *hysterical* IDON'TKNOWWHEREANYHATISPLEASEDON'TKILLMEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!
Mario: Er...I'll be off to look for my hat then. *walks off*
Now we join the happy Pokemon outside all nice and happy. What is this? Is Mewtwo trying to teach them something?
Mewtwo: You, see. If we get this done right, we can go to the moon and all the Pokemon will be free again!
Pikachu: I am a cucomber....I am a cucomber....I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...
Jigglypuff: Mewtwo, did you spike his ketchup again!!
Mewtwo: I swear I didn't jigglypuff! Please believe me! Now we have to build this rocket--
Pikachu: I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber....I am a cucomber....
Mewtwo: Er, and then when we go to the moon we--
Pikachu: I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...
Mewtwo: Gr, then we free all the Clefairy and go back to earth--
Pikachu: I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber...I am cucomber...
Mewtwo: Grr! THEN WE TAKE IT OVER AND I RULE ALL!
Jigglypuff: This sucks on ice! You suck too! All of you suck! I hate you all! I should rule! I'm QUEEN JIGGLY!
Mewtwo: Would you--
Pikachu: I am a cucomber...I am a cucomber....I am a cucomber--
Mewtwo: PIKACHU SHUT UP!!
Pikachu: PLEASE DON'T PUT ME IN THE PICKLE FARM! *jumps up drinks some more ketchup* LOOK! *starts dancing* Everybody come and watch me dance! You can even see my underpants!
Mewtwo/Jigglypuff: 0___0
Pikachu: *runs away crazily* MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jigglypuff: *kicks Mewtwo* Dummy!
Mewtwo: What did I do?!
Jigglypuff: You got him drunk, that's what!! *kicks him again*
Mewtwo: You damn puff ball!!
Jigglypuff: PUFF!
Lets leave...this doesn't look like it'll end happily...how about we go back to Mario? This IS about him!
Mario: *singing* Oh where, oh where has my widdle hat gone? Oh where oh where can it be--- *something crashes down on him* OOUUCCHH!
Luigi: I'm-a so sowwy Mario, I was looking for pudding up in the clouds!
Mario: That's-a that ceiling you-a idiot!
Luigi: I'm-a so sowwy Mario! I just want-a some pudding..
Mario: JUST GET-A OFF ME!
Luigi: *sniff sniff* I think I smell pudding! *runs off*
Mario: I know-a there's something that says we're not related...
Pichu: *walks by* Look at me...I have a hat...I am a rat. That wears a hat! *takes a bow* Look out you silly cat! You're hat doesn't have..a..uh...nat? I'm-a coming, to throw you down! For I am a rat. That wears a hat! *bows again*
Mario: MY HAT!
Pichu: 0_0 CRAP!
Mario: GIVE-A ME BACK MY HAT!
Pichu: Uh...I gotta go! *runs away*
Mario: GIVE IT TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!! *chases after him*
Peach: *comes by holding a cake* Oh Mario! There you are!
Pichu: *runs past Peach*
Peach: *almost dropps the cake* Hey!
Mario: *runs by Peach*
Peach: *almost drops the cake again* Mama mia! Will you stop running!!
Pichu: See you later sweet cheeks!
Peach: HEY! Pesky mouse!
Mario: MY HAAAAAAAT!!!!
Hmm....well..lets check up on Kirby! We all love Kirby! No? Well..I wuv Kirby! So lets check up on him!
Kirby: *just standing there* ....
Marth: ....
Roy: What are you looking at Marth?
Marth: ...Kirby....
Roy: Er, why?
Marth: Because...he's just standing there...
Roy: ...Why?
Marth: ...I don't know...
*All three of them just stand there*
DK: *walks by* ...... *thinking* They're at it again! Plotting against me....They want me dead...I can't die....I must do something...
Kirby: *starts to screem* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Marth: *screams* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Roy: *screams* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
DK: *thinking*They've sense that I know what they're up to! I must plot against them! *runs away*
Kirby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! *stops and walk away*
Marth: ...That was weird...
Roy: Yep.
...Uh...How about we check up on the Star Fox team?
Fox: *siting at the table reding the comics* ... *sips some tea*
Falco: *watches him*
Fox: ...*sips some more tea*...
Falco: *sighs*
Fox: *looks at Falco* Why don't you leave me--
Falco: It's always about YOU isn't it?! What about ME?! I have feelings, too, you know!!
Fox: If you want some tea just ask...
Falco: You can't make me forget about this with tea! You always get all the fame! I want some, too! That's why I got more fans than you!
Fox: Are you okay?
Falco: Don't you take that tone with me! One day Star Fox will be Star Falco!! Grr, I hate you so much!
Fox: ....whatever Mr. Birdie...
Falco: *shivers* DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!!!
Fox: *snickers* Sure sure... *sips tea, and starts to choke falling out his chair laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Falco: What?
Fox: Look! *shows him the news paper* It's says "Having a bad hair day?" and it shows a rabbit stealing some money! Get it? Hair! Hare! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Falco: ....Idiot...
...Heheheh. That is funny..er...back to the story. Mario is still chasing Pichu.
Pichu: LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BUM!
Mario: GIVE ME-A BACK MY HAT-A!!!
Pichu: STOP THE FAKE ACCENT YOU BUM!
Mario: IT-A IS NOT FAKE-A!!
Pichu: LEAVE ME ALONE--- *crashes threw a door, which leads into Zelda's room*
Zelda: Pichu!
Mario: *coming in, gets hit with a slipper* Ow!
Zelda: Out you pervert!
Mario: But-a Zelda! He has my--
Zelda: Damnit I said OUT!
Mario: ...yes-a ma'am....*leaves*
Pichu: Praise the crayons you saved my life Zelda!
Zelda: *evil grin* I was just going to look for you sweet, little, Pichu...
Pichu: Yeah, I know. Everyone wants the Pichu man! ^_~
Zelda: *picks him up and sits down on her bed resting him on her lap* So how have you been doing, Pichu?
Pichu: Er, just fine...
Zelda: You know...the funniest thing happened the other day..
Pichu: Really?
Zelda: Yes! My favorite dress go holes all in them..
Pichu: Heh heh. Damn moths...
Zelda: You know..they were RODENT holes..
Pichu: Er...*starts to move off her lap*
Zelda: *grabs his ears* How did that happen?
Pichu: I gotta go..
Zelda: *turns into Sheik and throws Pichu against the wall pinning him there with needles* YOU RUINED MY DRESS!
Pichu: Oh come now...I needed something to chew...how was I supose to know you still wore that garbage?
Sheik: GARBAGE?!?! *eyes glow red*
Pichu: ...eeep...
*outside the room*
Mario: Stupid-a Pichu...stealing my hat...calling my sccent fake-a....
Pichu: *comes crashing out the room looking beat up and with make-up all over him* WAAAAAHH!!!!
Mario: PICHU!
Zelda: AND DON'T COME BACK EVER AGAIN!!!
Pichu: NO PROBLEM!!!!! *runs off*
Mario: GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN HAT YOU!!!!!!
Pichu: WAAAH! *runs faster*
Mario: GRRR!! *chases after him once more*
Hmm...now lets go outside for once...
Mewtwo: *on the roof with the other two Pokemon, Kirby, and Yoshi* Now...What are they doing here?
Jigglypuff: Friends.
Mewtwo: Whatever..see...all we have to do is make this Rocket and then we go to the moon!
Pikachu: *as drunk as hell* No body knows *hic* the trouble I seen! No body knows *hic* my sorrows!
Jigglypuff: I really hate you...
Mewtwo: OK! I spiked it for fun! I thought I drunken Pikachu would be funny!
Jigglypuff: Hmph!
Kirby: *with his eyes closed* If my eyes are closed..they can't see me..
Yoshi: Yoshi! Yoshi! Everybody say Yoshi!
Jigglypuff: *thinking* First Mewtwo wants to go to the moon...a drunk Pikachu..a crazy Kirby..and a idiot Yoshi..what next? Will it rain men?
Luigi: *falls from the sky* PUDDING!!!! *crashes threw the roof by Jigglypuff*
Jigglypuff: ...Well that shut me up...
Kirby: *still with his eyes closed* I'm safe...
Pikachu: Oh! When will the ringing in my ears stop?! The bloody end is near!!!!!!
Mewtwo: SHUT UP!!!
Kirby: *opens his eyes* Crap! I'm seen!
Mewtwo: Now lets all get started on making this rocket!
Link: *comes up on the roof* What hell is going on?! One minute I'm walking through the hall way, the next Luigi falls on me looking for pudding!! Do you know how much it's gonna cost to get that fixed?! All of you are going to pay for it not me--
Kirby: Ninja power! *pushes Link off the roof*
Link: AAAAAAHHHHH!! *crash*
Kirby: ^.^ Zooweeheeheehee!
Pikachu: Hamhawks on the double, bubbles!
Jigglypuff: This sucks...I'm out of here...*puffs away*
Mewtwo: No! I need someone sane to help me!
Yoshi: Yoshi smart! I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
Mewtwo: ....what was I thinking? This does sucks....
Pikachu: *pushes Mewtwo off the roof* Pika power!
Mewtwo: AAAAAAAHHHHH!! *crash* Oh, thanks Link! You broke my fall!
Link: @_@ Mommy....
Pikachu: ^.^ Zooweeheeheehee! I did a Kirby!
Kirby: *smacks him* You masher! You pervert! How could you?!
Pikachu: ....I'm a butterfly! I want to swim away!
Kirby: Swim sound good! Yeah!
O..kay...Lets go back to our hero Mario!
Mario: *climbing a tree* When I get you...I'm-a gonna kill you!
Pichu: Back! Back you beast! *throws a twig at him*
Mario: Ow! My eye!
Pichu: Back I say!
Mario: Oh yeah?! *grabs his tail and throws him on the ground*
Pichu: Hey!
Mario: *lets go of the tree and body slams him* Hiya!
Pichu: OUCCH!!! The pain I feel..HURTS! MAKE IT STOP!
Mario: Now give back my hat!!
Pichu: It's mine!
Mario: GIVE IT BACK!!!!!
Pichu: Grr.......OKAY OKAY!!!!!!! JUST GET OFF MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Mario: *gets off him* Now give it to me.
Pichu: *throws the hat to him* Hmph. Bum! *runs off*
Mario: *puts his hat on, glowing in glory* I am Super Mario! Protector of the Mushroom Kingdom! Foe to Bowser and all evil! I am the best! THE BEST I TELL YOU! And no one, NO ONE, is gonna take my hat! It's MY hat! You shouldn't take it. It's wrong. I must wear my hat. Not you. It is I that must wear it. So donÕ't take it. It is for me to wear, and me alone. No one else. No one. Not even Peach. Just me. Me!
Peach: Mario! I got the cake! Look at how pretty it is!
Luigi: Pudding!! *runs past Peach and the cake falls on his head* Luigi blind!!!!
Peach: *sobs* MY CAKE!!
Mario: Err...
*by this time everyone was outside. This could be good and bad depending on how you look at it sence...*
DK: IÕll show them...No one tries to kill Donkey Kong! *presses a little button on a remote and the whole masion blows up.* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Pikachu: No! My ketchup!
Pichu: If only those Hamtsers were inside that house...*sigh*
Kirby: Yeah! Pretty lights! *dances*
Mario: Ah, crap...this sucks...
Link: I AM NOT PAYING FOR THIS!
Zelda: My dresses...
Pichu: Her garbage...
Zelda: Grr!
Popo: *hitting Nana on the head with a mallet* I told you to hide the TNT!
Nana: *hits him back* I told YOU to hide the TNT!!
Falco: I blame Fox..everything is his fault...always...the bum..
Fox: *still laughing his arse off*
Ness: *playing with a Yo-Yo* Oh well...
Pikachu: My ketchup...my ketchup...
Jigglypuff: At least he's not drunk anymore...
Mewtwo: This is why I wanted to go to the damn moon!
Yoshi: Come on everybody! Do the Yoshi! *break dances*
All: Shut up!
Mario: Well...we-a better--
Kirby: *snatches his hat* Yonks! I'm Mario!
Mario: Give that back!!
Kirby: *flies away* Zooweeheeheehee!
Mario: I'LL-A KILL YOU!!! *chases him*
Pichu: Fake accent!
And the story ends with Mario chasing Kirby to get his hat back. Poor Mario. Well that's it. The End. Bye byes!
Why yes, I did use lines from "That's My Sonic." I couldn't resist. It was so funny. Now if you wuv Mario, or at least care about Nintendo, go to GameFAQs.com and vote for him. I mean it's a poll. What else is there to know? Fun, fun, fun! *sniff* But if you don't wanna...I guess just let him die...poor, poor, Mario...*sniff* Don't let him die..Well I just hope you enjoyed the moive and remember to get some popcorn in the lobby, and please keep your theater clean. Bye byes! (again, hee hee)