It is back, as promised! FIELD TRIP! As the nations get cabin sickness from staying in Britian's house for so long, they decide to visit the zoo!

It was about a week after Germany and China returned from the hospital that Brazil had the idea.

There she was, sitting on the couch, staring into space. Arthur had put the TV on, something he rarely did. His TV was about the size of your average computer monitor, and so old that it was surprising it even had color. England only watched a few things:

The news, the Olympics, Eurovision, and the Great British Bake off.

Currently, he was watching the latter.

Uruguay was huddled next to Brazil, in the form of a tero. He was always a little jumpy, and the mind of a bird was unsettling him even further. He could hardly look at Italy, flinched whenever Alfred fixed his gaze on him, and certainly didn't appreciate South Korea.

Uruguay was a little horrified by what the TV was showing.

He figured that, since England literally can't make cereal without burning something, he might know better than to let his people try and cook anything. I might rather starve to death than be forced to choke down his scones...

On the other hand, Brazil was getting really into it.

MARTHA, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Don't bring that weak sh*t in here, the tall guy literally made the fanciest meal ever! (she knew it had to be a winner, because the guy's meal was the size of her thumb and had a garnish) AND YOU MAKE A GODDAMN BROWNIE SUNDAE? You're bringing a knife to a gunfight, you moron! And believe me, that perm is not going to do you any favors in the charm department...

She ruffled her feathers in disgust.

Across the room, Germany sat reading a book, Italy curled up on his lap. Normally he would be out and about, as Japan, China and Russia were, but Italy had coaxed him into staying.

Alfred sat atop the ceiling fan, ruffling his feathers, and staring blankly at the TV. He was not digging this cooking show. Where was Gordon Ramsey? His screaming and cursing would probably make it at least a bit more exciting.

South Korea and Spain were downstairs, engaging in an epic Tiger vs. Bull fight scene. France was the referee.

Suddenly, Brazil had a stroke of genius. She suddenly launched herself off the couch, sending Uruguay flying, and hurtled towards England's face.

"AHH!" the man screamed, swatting at the macaw. "Brazil, whats wrong with you!? STOP ATTACKING ME!"

"ZOO!" Brazil screeched in her parrot voice, "WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO!"

She simultaneously pecked Britain in the face and screeched about going to the zoo. Germany flung his book at her. "SHE HAS GONE MAD! Italy, sic 'em! ATTACK!" he shouted in his thick accent.

Italy tilted his head but didn't move. Don't be silly, Germany! she's just a little bird, how could she possibly hurt England?

Alfred screeched his approval from above.

"AHHHHHH! STOP! GET OFF! MY FACE!" Britain wailed, attempting to yank the bird off of him. Well I'm paraphrasing that, actually. Just picture the same thing, but with a lot more curse words.

Finally, Brazil relented.

Uruguay face-palmed. But with his wing.

Seriously? He probably would have listened if you just spoke to him.

Brazil would have smirked if she could. Sure, she didn't have to do that, but at least she could now threaten England with something.

That something was pain.

"What the BLOODY HELL do you want, you ****ing ***** of ****, go **** your mom's *****, you literal ***** **** ** IN YOUR ******* ****!?"

Even Germany cringed at that.

Brazil was the only one who was unbothered. "I said," she croaked, "the zoo. We are going there."

England, nursing his face, grumbled, "No. Maybe if you didn't attack me, but you did, you wanker!"

Alfred rolled his eyes. No, he wouldn't have let us do anything...

"Oh, really?" Brazil replied, a mischievous look in her eye. "If you won't let us go, well... that's unfortunate for you..."

England knew he shouldn't reply, but he figured, what could she do? "Oh, yeah? What, you got a poop-filled diaper you're gonna throw at me?*"

"Well, y'know... there's a big bounty on whoever kidnapped all these missing countries..." Brazil said, her tone sounding strangely aloof, "and I mean, what if someone... someone who sounded like a bird... tipped off someone's boss that a certain island nation had all the missing countries captive? Of course, Germany, Russia, Japan and China already told their bosses where they were, but the others?"

England scowled, deeper than he had ever scowled before.

"You monster." he growled.

Brazil fluffed out her feathers. "ROAD TRIP!" she screeched.

Italy, having recovered from his fearful state (caused by England cursing out Brazil... it was traumatizing), did a happy dance around Germany's chair. Road trip, road trip!

Alfred cawed and swooped clumsily around the room, excited that he could do something other than watch the Great British Bake-off.

Uruguay sighed, Shuffling his feathers around. Why do you even want to go to the zoo...? he wondered. We're already a zoo.

Luckily for him, England voiced his concerns. "Now, now wait a minute, before you go rallying everyone," he commanded, trying in vain to drown out the animals' screeches. "Why in God's name would you want to go to the zoo? We have a bloody tiger in our home! I mean, my home! DAMMIT!"

Brazil motioned towards the Bald Eagle currently rampaging around the room, right as he splattered himself against a wall.

"He needs to learn how to fly from actual birds." she grunted. "Remember, England upducting other nations for his sick, twisted sex fantasies makes for a good news story..."

England blushed. "Wh-what!? Shut up, you bird-faced ****!"

Brazil flapped her wings a bit. "I'll go get the others. Ohh, I've never even been to a zoo before!"

With that, she flapped off towards the basement to get the other animals.

It was a bit of an odd scene.

In an attempt to mask South Korea's tigerness, America, Brazil, and Uruguay (unwillingly) constructed a paper mache dog head, which, believe me, is not easy to do when you're a bird.* But, for not having hands, they did a pretty decent job. It looked a little more like a gorilla than a dog, but not bad. They also covered him with a big black blanket, cutting holes for his legs. They did the same thing for Spain, but it was pretty obvious that what they were looking at was not, in fact, a big dog.

How they got in is a mystery. Dogs weren't even allowed in the zoo.

Brazil, and America were soaring overhead, just a few colorful specks in the sky. Brazil was croaking advice on how to fly to Alfred, but he couldn't hear her over the wind. They planned to head over to the bird exhibit.

Germany, Russia, England, Japan, and China all had to disguise themselves as well, so as not to attract too much attention. (They did anyway.) China had on sunglasses and a hat, as well as tucking his dyed, blue hair into his shirt. Japan had dyed his hair (temporarily) blond, which looked a little odd on him. Germany didn't slick back his hair, which felt like blasphemy to him. He also dyed his hair brown, again, temporarily. England slicked his hair back instead, and also had on sunglasses & a hat. Russia, refused to change his outfit or dye his hair, and the other nations were too afraid of him to insist. But, seriously, passerbys weren't looking at him. They were more concerned with the two huge "dogs" next to them.

The only reason Germany had agreed to tag along, and change his appearance, was because Italy seemed to be looking forward to it so much. The said nation was hopping around next to them, just glad to be out of England's stuffy house. Otherwise, he would have sided with Romano, who said, and I quote, "ARE YOU SERIOUS, YOU **** BAG? IF I WANTED TO GO TO THE ZOO I WOULD VISIT YOUR ****ING MOTHER'S HOUSE YOU PIECE OF ****!"

Uruguay was perched atop Spain, as he was deathly afraid of heights and wouldn't fly for any sum of money. France, as per the usual, was sitting on Spain's massive head and grooming his feathers.

Japan snapped a picture of a nearby monkey exhibit. "I would like to see the cheetahs," he said, noticing the sign pointing in their direction.

China yawned. "I don't really care what we see," he replied, not a big fan of zoos.

Germany was the man with the plan, as usual. "Very well." he said. "We will now split up, in the hopes of not diverting too much attention... as if that is possible. Japan, England, and China will visit the cheetahs. South Korea, Italy, and I will look at the monkeys, Russia, Spain, France, and Uruguay will see the giraffes, and the Brazil and America will observe the birds. MOVE OUT!"

Silently thankful that someone could make sense of this ridiculous situation, the respective groups moved out to their respective positions.

Far above in the clouds, America let out a screech. I found the exhibit! he thought, spotting the silhouette of a bird on one of the signs. He hurtled towards it, signaling for Brazil to do the same.

Spreading his wings to help the wind slow his fall- a trick he learned from the interwebs-, he managed to stop himself before he crashed into the glass dome which held the birds. He hopped around on top of it, peering through the glass to stare at the birds.

Brazil landed next to him, and smoothed over her feathers. "I thought you were going to smash into the glass and die," she grumbled in her distorted parrot voice.

The pair hopped about on the glass, observing the ways that the different birds flew.

Alfred would caw to startle them and get them going, then watch the way the flew around. However, he did notice that one brilliant, white eagle was never startled by America's screeches. It didn't fly often, but when it did, it was clumsy and flew similarly to America. Maybe it's sick or somethin', America thought.

Meanwhile, at the monkey exhibit, Germany was observing an adorable little spider monkey eating a banana. Italy was on his back legs, leaning against the concrete wall below the exhibit so that he could peer through the bars. South Korea was also looking at the monkeys, trying to act as inconspicuous as possible. However, Germany spotted something out of the corner of his eye.

A zoo keeper! He was dressed in a tan uniform with a nametag pinned to his chest, reading "Carl", and keys hanging around his waist.

Germany's gaze darted to South Korea. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't a dog-especially because, now that they'd been at the zoo for a while, his paper mache head was falling off-, and the poor guy could be imprisoned in a zoo for the rest of his life if he didn't book it. "Zookeeper!" Germany hissed, in German, so that those around him couldn't understand, "South Korea, run! Hide somewhere, we'll find you later!"

South Korea nodded his understanding, and quickly bounded off into the distance, heading towards the aquarium.

Italy fell back onto all fours, and tried to act as dog-like as possible.

The zookeeper was just a few feet away now, but he wasn't looking at the monkeys.

Germany breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he hadn't noticed him.

"Excuse me, sir?" the zookeeper said, clearly addressing Ludwig, "Dogs aren't allowed in this facility. Please, lea... wait a minute."

Realization dawned on his face.

"That's not a dog!" Carl exclaimed, "Th-that's a gray wolf! Sir, back away, it might be dangerous!" the zookeeper warned, before calling for backup into his walkie-talkie*. "CLEAR THE AREA!" the man shouted, "THERE IS AN ESCAPED WOLF! PLEASE, BACK AWAY! CLEAR THE AREA!"

Passerbys gasped, grabbing their children and racing away. Ludwig was getting pushed away by the crowds of people racing past-"AH! It's right here, let's go!" "I see it!" "JIMMY DON'T PET IT IT WILL EAT YOUR ENTRAILS"-as well as Carl the zookeeper, who was telling him to go.

"J-just wait a minute!" Ludwig protested in his thick accent, losing sight of Italy in the crowd. "He's not a wolf! You're mistaken, he is a dog! He is my husky!"

"I know a wolf when I see one! Please, sir, back away! We'll take care of it!" Carl commanded, as the mob forced Ludwig to move.

Finally Germany relented and started moving with the crowd for fear of being trampled, but he yelled at Italy, "Do not worry! I'll come back for you!" before trudging off to the aquarium, one of the last people to leave.

Italy cowered against the bench, staring up at Carl, who was backing away very slowly, careful not to look the wolf in the eye. Once everyone had left, Carl's backup arrived. Five people, all in the same uniform as Carl, arrived at the scene, three of which held tranquilizer guns, the other two holding a stretcher.

It didn't take a genius to see where this was going.

Italy yelped, and bolted away, heading towards where the mobs had fled to at a full sprint, retreating only like an Italian can.

Tink! Tink! Tink!

The tranquilizer gun was surprisingly quiet. One dart whiffed Italy entirely, but two of them caught his right hind leg. Giving a sharp yelp, he still tried to surge forward, but stumbled. The effect was almost immediate, and the drug caused the poor guy to stumble and trip over his own feet. Or paws, I guess.

AHHH-AHH-AHH! THISSUCKS THISSUCKS I CAN'T BELIEVE GERMANY LEFT ME FOR DEAAAAAAD! he wailed inside his head, as he fell to the ground.

It was dark.

Like, real dark.

Italy wasn't a big fan of dark places.

Especially when he doesn't know what the hell was happening.

Ugh... I was at the meeting with mi fratello*, and... it was in London, and... I was staying with England? And something with Germany involving monkeys, and a bull hurt him... and...

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. I don't know, but obviously I am trapped here. Stumbling wearily to his four feet, he groggily tried to push against the wall in front of him.

Nothing happened.

He only had enough room to go on all fours, and even then it was a tight fit. He tried to push again, but his head was beginning to spin. He settled down on the ground again, but was beginning to notice that he felt... weird. Not just from the drugs, but his legs felt like they were weirdly positioned, and he was lying down in an odd manor.

"Alright buddy, you're awake now, huh?"

A voice!

Who... who's there?

He tried to say something, but only an odd whimper came out.

W-what was that?

He tried again.

"Hrrrrrrrerrrrrr!" he whined, almost like a dog.

"There you go! Alright, buddy, we fixed the problem where you escaped, though we didn't think that a mouse could fit through that feeder, let alone a wolf (convenient ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)). Time to go back!"

Let alone a wolf...? Wait a minute...

With a clang, the wall in front of him slowly raised up, the light from the sun blinding the poor, dazed wolf.

Italy stumbled out of his box, which was quickly grabbed up by employees and taken away. Where he was was actually quite pretty. The grass was springy beneath his feet, and a stream ran nearby. On one side of him was a small cliff, and on the other was a wall of rocks. Just beyond that were the bars where people would peer into the exhibit, which was surprisingly roomy.

I mean, I'm appreciating the scenery because Italy was not.

He raced around the exhibit, screeching and yelping in terror.

I'm going to die here.

But hey, on the bright side, he was starting to remember what happened.

IT WAS ENGLAND! He turned me into a wolf! OH GOD I'M NEVER GETTING OUTTTT!

A growl sounded from the other side of the stream, halting Italy's panic-driven rampage. Three wolves stalked towards him, their lips twitching. There was a large black one in the lead, and two smaller gray ones on either side of him. Italy froze, his eyes fixing on the lead wolf's.

Apparently, the lead wolf didn't appreciate this.

He snarled at him and charged forward, clearing the stream in a single leap. The other gray wolves dove into the lake, trailing after him.

Italy backed away, not daring to take his eyes off the pack of wolves.

Suddenly, they leaped.

China was nervous. Ludwig had called him, telling everyone to meet him in the aquarium. He'd sounded upset, hysterical, even, which was bad news. If something upset Germany, it had to be bad. Like, accidentally-sending- nudes-to-your-grandma bad. But before he, Japan, and England could even reach the aquarium, they were told over the PA that the zoo was closing early, and everyone needed to leave.

Right now, they were outside of the entrance, where England was in line at the tollbooth, trying to get a refund like everyone else, and Russia, Japan, and China were leaning against a railing, wondering what had become of Germany. France pecked around their feet. Spain and South Korea were a little ways off, hiding in a bush, so that they wouldn't scare anyone. Uruguay had been lost in the mobs of people storming out of the zoo, and no one knew where America and Brazil were.

They sat around for what seemed like ages. A lot of people gave up on trying to get a refund and just went home, until very few people were left.

Eventually, England reached the front of the line.

Needless to say, he was persistent.

And vulgar.

He got a refund.

A few minutes after that, Ludwig finally showed up, looking disgruntled and upset.

"Where were you, you big German bastard!?" England shouted, making the employees at the tollbooth cower behind their counters again.
France clucked his disapproval.
"We've been out here for hours!" China growled, though they were only waiting for about half an hour.

Everyone shouted at him in anger. Except for Russia, who was just happily sitting atop a bench and twiddling his thumbs.

"Quiet, quiet! Allow me to explain!" Germany shouted in his loud, commanding voice, which only made the poor zoo employees more scared. In a much more quiet tone, Germany explained what happened.

Once he'd finished, China shook his head. "哎呀， 怎么办？"*

England shrugged. "Oh well! Looks like Italy will just have to live out the rest of his life as a wolf!" he whipped around, but Germany grabbed his shoulder, and France pecked his legs. "It is not funny, England."

For the first time, Russia chimed in. "Yes... it is not very nice of you to make fun of Italy when he is in trouble, Да?" he said in his chillingly happy voice, making England's blood run cold.

"I uh, was just kidding, of course!" he said nervously, "M-my bad!"

Japan nodded his head thoughtfully. "Ah, yes... well..." he murmured, "obviously we cannot leave him in the exhibit. I propose we break him out, but how would we do it?"

At that moment, Brazil, America, and Uruguay(who was being held unwillingly in Brazil's claws) showed up.

Italy backed away from the snarling wolves, staring directly at the big, lead wolf. He flattened his ears against his head and let out a growl in response.

The black wolf leaped at him, teeth bared, bounding straight for him. Italy dove to the side, barely avoiding getting bitten. He let out a yelp of fear and ran for the riverbank, where the other two wolves were waiting for him.

Now, wolves are fast.

But not as fast as a retreating Italy.

He dodged the two wolves' snapping teeth and cleared the river in a single jump, before hurtling towards the other side of the exhibit. He and the other wolves raced around for a long time, but Italy's fear let him go pretty damn fast.

sanic fast.

But as Italy tired, the wolves did not. They kept trying to bite at him, despite being tired of this wild goose chase.

BUT THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

A blurr of white and brown hurtled toward one of the gray wolves, crashing into it's side and causing it to go tumbling across the ground. The wolf yelped and tried to bite at him, but the eagle was all "I don't give a swag" and hit the wolf in the face.

That eagle, as you can imagine... was Alfred F. Jones.*

The two other wolves turned immediately whirled around and went for the bird. But an angry tiger quickly stopped them in their tracks, tackling the smaller gray one and roaring at the largest wolf.

Then, came Spain.

Spain was the scariest of them all. Well, except for Russia, who was glaring menacingly at the wolf from the other side of the bars, with the other nations.

Spain charged for the wolf and flung him into the stratosphere, before giving a defiant huff. No one hurts Italy! Ever!

Italy, having finally realized what happened, gave a howl of relief. He bounded over to Spain, and happy-danced around the giant bull. YAAAY! I'm aliive~

"Italy! Are you OK!?" Germany exclaimed, holding onto the bars with a death grip.

Italy gave a quirky little bark in response, wagging his tail a bit.

China rolled his eyes. "As happy as I am for you two, the zoo employees are definitely coming, and they are totally going to whoop our asses."

Japan nodded, saying something he usually wouldn't. "For once, I concur with China." he said, "We will face criminal charges if we do not leave soon."

Everyone agreed, and began to move out. Italy was a little nervous, however, because he didn't quite understand how they got into the exhibit in the first place. He knew they somehow bent the bars of the exhibit, because that's how they left, but how? As the group of nations charged towards the exit, he asked Germany. Germany, however, avoided the question. He figured that Italy was already scared plenty of Russia, and there was no reason to make him more so.

As everyone reached the exit, a group of police officers blocked their exit.

They were armed, and had their guns pointed directly at the group of nations, who were frozen, in an attempt to avoid being shot.

Well, not everyone.

Russia giggled a little bit, and stepped forward.

PLEASE DON'T DIE.

DAS IS SCHLECHT!

HOLY BALLS YOU ARE INSANE!

Fare attenzione a Russia!

他 就要死了。。。

さようなら、ロシア!

Nous allons mourir, correct?

이 끔찍한입니다.

Esto no es bueno!

Por favor, não nos levar a morrer...

MEU DEUS!*

And then Russia patted the man on the shoulder, and said, "We would not like to cause you any trouble, but you have stolen our friend."

The policeman pointed his gun directly at Russia's face, and hissed, "SIR, back away! You all are being taken in for breaking and entering, theft, and destruction of private property.

Russia then used his greatest strength.

It felt like the world froze over temporarily.

There was no sun, no sky, no warmth.

Only the noise.

KOL.

Just one.

BUT IT WAS ENOUGH.

The police officers froze, possibly soiled their pants, and then retreated. They fall back hella fast. Russia turned around and smiled at the rest of the nations, before cheerily heading off towards the entrance.

England shivered, and looked at Japan, Germany, Italy and America. How the bloody hell did you people ever fight him in a war?

And with that, everyone returned to Britian's home.

Meanwhile, inside the bird exhibit.

This is ridiculous! he thought, clumsily trying to stay atop a branch. There I was, minding my own business, trying to slip a whoopee cushion on the boss's chair, when BOOM! I turn into an eagle-albeit, a pretty awesome one-, but what the hell!? When does that happen? I scared Gilbird away! God knows where he is now, what if he's hurt!? THAT WOULD BE SO NOT AWESOME. Then some ******* zoo guy comes and puts me in this stupid place. Today has been SO SUCKY.

At the sound of that same bird's irritating screech, he ruffled his feathers in annoyance.

I swear, I'm going to burst out of this place, and... wait a minute...

Using his amazing eyesight, he peered through his glass enclosure to a man beside a dog, a long ways off, beside the monkey exhibit.

Is that... West? He looks weird... his hair is different and he looks like he's trying to go incognito... IF WEST RESCUES ME, THAT WOULD BE SO. AWESOME.

Tada~~~

I wrote this entire thing today.

And I'm kind of tired. Lol.

BUT I HOPE IT IS OK.

I was also going to try and include Switzerland this chapter, but I decided Prussia would be more fun. Anyway, I'm kind of out of ideas for this story. It was either this or they went to go swimming, but I didn't really know where to go with the whole swimming thing. Any ideas for next chapter? Review please, and thanks for reading! :D

*If you get this reference you're a kool kat.

*I know from experience.

*I forgot the name of those things so I had to go up to my dad and be like "What are the names of those things where you go like... CCCCCCHH roger that CCCCHHH. Like a... radiotelephone or something" for like 10 minutes until he knew what i was talking about.

*My brother. Also, I don't know why i wrote that bc obviously he's thinking in Italian lol.

*Bro, I actually like Mandarin class now that my teacher isn't evil. :D Also, it means, "Aiya, what'll we do?"

*OK, anothr reference, but I'm writing this whole thing in a day, and I'm kind of starting to fade in and out between consciousness. Does that sentence even make sense? I have no idea. BUT GODDAMMIT IF I'M NOT GONNA POST THIS THING TODAY.

*I feel like this is filler lol... but WHATEVES BRUH. Anyway, I used google translate for a few of these (I am taking Italian next year, heyooo! In addition to chinese), so they might not be good. Especially the Japanese and Korean ones, because I really have no way of telling if that's right at all, because I know neither and they're not at all similar to English.