Scratch

Rating: PG13

Scotty, Spock, and the gang try and heal the broken Captain after the one who loved and believed in him is gone. PS- I cried while writing this!

He was broken, he wanted to be alone… he never saw this happening, why didn't he grab him or throw himself in the way of that gun? He didn't, he acted like an arrogant, saving Captain… he had nothing to do but to be the hero, the one who saved everyone…

Kirk wanted to be left alone. He had locked his chambers and answered no one. Not Scotty, or the commanders, even Spock. He wanted to be alone, and cry. He had never felt this deep of a loss in his life. this thing, this, pain literally hurt. He laid there sobbing, his head hurt he was in such pain. He had failed to save the one that had been there for him, and he had SAVED previously. What had he done?

"Captain," Chekov called, Jim said nothing. He didn't even want to get up. He laid in a ball on the bathroom floor, tears pooling onto it.

"NO!" he shouted from behind the door. He heard leaving footsteps and then Uhurara's voice.

"Kirk, its OK… please just let us talk to you, it's better than being in there alone, come on PLEASE!" he couldn't get up, it was just too much on him. He wanted to be alone with his grief. Its not like she was some stranger he didn't know, she was his best friend's girlfriend.

"I recommend that you open the door, Captain. Otherwise I will use force, and break it down, you cannot be alone in such a fragile, painful state." Spock said, even though his words were emotional, he had none.

"SPOCK! GO AWAY!" he growled. The commander said nothing, and all Kirk heard was a gun being fired at the door's lock.

"Captain, plase…" Spock stood over him, he was almost at the point of tears, Kirk noticed. His eyes were strained, and his hands trembling.

"Jim…" he got on the floor, a few feet away. The Star Fleet captain couldn't take it anymore, he completely cracked into an emotional breakdown in front of Spock.

"I… I… Spock I can…" he couldn't breathe, his lungs weren't taking in any air, and his crying was making it worse. Spock silently took him in his arms, Kirk's face molded into Spocks blue uniform.

"I know, I know," he murmured, walking gently over to the bed, laying them both down. Kirk's face started to twist, and he feels about to black out from the emotional pain.

"I don't… I can't… I…" Spock tightens his hold on him again.

"Shhh, there, there… Its OK, its alright," Spock knew then what to do. He pulled Kirk up onto his shoulder, gently stroking his head.

"I'm gong to take on some of your pain, OK, just relax a minute, Captain. I'm going to take some of this away, its alright, you are not alone Jim." Spock concentrated, and his thoughts merged slowly with his beloved Captain's angsr filled head for his admiral.

"He… Spock… don't…" Spock just responded by stroking his face gently. Slowly the pain lessened, and then small twitching came from Kirk's overwhelmed body.

"Shh, slow down… slow down, shhhh," Kirk lay on his shoulder, nable to move. He was shaking from agony, and emotional turmoil. Spock held him, without judgment or anger.

"I want him back," he said in a tear filled voice. Spock tightened his hold on his best friend. He held him close, their faces touching.

"Shhhh, shhhh, slow down… shhhh, shhh," Kirk relaxed, closing his eyes against Spock, gently nestling into the blue fabric.

Jim… Jim… Its alright, you did everything right… Nothing could have prevented what happened, buddy. I know you did the right thing… I'm right here, OK. I'm right here… he had no idea where the voice was, but he was sure he was dreaming it up. He knew he couldn't be in the other world at this point. He turned over in Spock's arms. He felt a light ind blow his hair.

Shhh, shhh, be a good boy and go to sleep for me. Shhh, you have Spock with you, go to sleep. That's a good boy, that's it… I'm here, I'll always be here… no more tears, I don't want my little buddy to be sad… I'm here and Spock is here, we have you… Tell Spock to rub your cheek, he felt a cold breeze on his forehead, almost lingering there. then another one brush his hair back. Pike was stroking his head… He lifted his head and realized. Spock gently pushed his head back down again.

"Spock," he said hoarsely, Spock gently puhed him back down.

"He's talking to you Is he not?"

"You…"

"It can happen with such a bond, he loved you, more than you knew… He will always love you, and you him…"

Jimmy, promise me you will not be hurting forever? I know, I know it hurts… I know that, OK, but please do not let it effect the mission… You know we have others out there Harrison will kill. OK, I love you, I love you so much, little one. You have to be the one who takes him out, let that consume your rage, and you will fight harder… Kirk's stomach started rumbling, and he started gagging. Spock turned him over and he threw up his stomach lining all over the floor.

"JIM!" McCoy, nd Chekov came running into the room. Bones had a shot of antibiotic and oxygen. Chekov sat on the bed and held him gently while Bones gave him the injection to fight off infection.

"Shhh, shh, I have to give you this Jim… You've been dehydrated for hours… OK, just hold still," he slumped against Spock's shoulder, and didn't even flinch when the needle went in.

"We're here, we're all here for you…" Spock whispered, he was trying to lkeep him distracted and calm, while letting him know he was safe and loved. They all watched him sleep, the three of them gently stroking him, and loving him; no one would ever replace Pike, but he would be there for Jim in the darkest times.

"Thank you," he whispered to his friends, as they all gently caressed him, and put him to sleep.

"You are most welcome. I will never let ou be alone kirk. Ever."