Arizona moaned in her sleep, the sound echoing through the open door of her bedroom and into the dark apartment she shared with her wife and daughter. They'd left the hospital as soon as the rain had finally stopped, two days in the hospital leaving them all anxious, stressed, and tired. The ones who'd ridden out the storm had been sent home while the staff who'd been locked down in their homes were coming in to relieve them. The power was still out in their apartment though, so Callie had put Sofia and Arizona to bed and ventured back out into post-storm Seattle to pick up rudimentary groceries to tide them over until their power got restored.

Unconscious, Arizona stirred, tossing under the thin sheet. The comforter Callie had tenderly tucked around her shoulders had been kicked off already. Her head thrashed, loose hair falling across her face, but she didn't wake. Flopping onto her back didn't wake her either. Neither did whipping out her right arm and sending the bedside lamp crashing loudly to the floor.

It didn't wake Arizona, but it did disturb Sofia, the baby sitting up in her crib and crying loudly. A remnant of thunder rattled the windows and ensured that the little girl wasn't going to be able to soothe herself back to sleep. Unfortunately, the glass shaking in the frame wasn't enough to wake her mother. Arizona was lost to her dreams, trapped in the woods of her own mind.

Callie could hear the wailing from the hall, juggling two tall paper bags in one arm and her keys in the other hand. She didn't bother with closing the door behind her (between their place and Mark's, they owned this half of the floor), putting the bags down on the counter and rushing to Sofia's room to pluck her daughter from her bed. The poor little girl's face was red, flushed with heat and slick with tears. "It's okay, Sofia. Mami's here." And Arizona was here, just not here. What could have kept her from her screaming baby? It had been a long day and night – maybe her leg was swollen. Maybe she had fallen. Sofia started to calm down as soon as she was nestled against Callie's chest, whimpering and sucking on her pacifier. "Arizona? Are you up?"

The first step past her doorway resulted in a crunching noise and Callie frowned in confusion and concern. Moving carefully into the bedroom, Callie had to stand still for a moment to let her eyes adjust. The shards of broken ceramic were indistinguishable from the rug in the dark but Callie could see her wife's form on the bed and noticed the missing lamp from the table.

"Honey, are you awake?" Leaning over with one hand on Sofia's back, Callie rubbed her wife's back with the other hand. The bare skin of her shoulder was flushed but Arizona didn't respond beyond a deep, sleeping breath. "Mama's tired," Callie murmured to Sofia. "She didn't mean to scare you." She kissed her daughter's cheek and swayed her from side to side gently. "Let's get you back in bed, huh?"

"Ma-ma," Sofia murmured even as she nuzzled her head into Callie's shoulder.

"You want to give her a kiss before bed?" Callie asked, whispering into soft black hair. She shifted the baby carefully, lowering her toward Arizona's face. Small hands patted against fair skin while Sofia leaned her head down to press wet lips to her mother's cheek. The soft touch had a reaction that Callie's hand on her back hadn't, Arizona jerking awake with a violent start.

Callie instinctively pulled Sofia back as Arizona's arms flailed, the startled little girl crying loudly again. Arizona fought briefly with the sheets, turning over with her eyes wide. "What?!" It took a moment for recognition of where she was to sink in, Arizona reaching out her arms for Sofia as soon as she realized what had happened. She sighed gratefully when Callie didn't hesitate to hand their daughter over to her. "Sweetheart, Mama's sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It's okay," she whispered, kissing her baby's face repeatedly. Her eyes were fearful when she looked up at Callie. "Did I hit her? Did I hurt her?"

Sitting down on the bedside, Callie shook her head. "You wouldn't hurt her," she said softly, trailing one hand lightly down the baby's back.

"Callie, did I hurt her?" Arizona asked again, blinking back tears. She couldn't be this person. She didn't know how to be this person – someone who cheated on her wife, who hurt her baby girl.

"You didn't," Callie promised. "You would not hurt her. She's your daughter. You would never hurt her."

Arizona pushed a lingering kiss to Sofia's cheek, feeling the flush in her soft skin. She'd been crying for a while. And she hadn't heard it, had been trapped in her own mind and hadn't heard her baby crying for her. What was happening to her?! Who was this person? Because this wasn't someone she ever wanted to be. She wanted to be the wife Callie needed, the mother Sofia deserved.

"Stop it," Callie said, tone soft but firm. Arizona's eyes jumped to her, noticing the shattered lamp in the corner of her eye. "I can see it in your face. Whatever's in your head, stop it, Arizona."

"I don't know if I can," answered Arizona in a whisper, her eyes falling away again as the guilt rose in her chest. Sofia was starting to quiet down again in her arms, crying giving way to soft whimpers against her chest. "I don't know who I am anymore," she admitted, closing her eyes and leaning her head against baby-soft hair.

Callie sucked in a breath, not surprised by the statement but saddened, heartbroken. "Do you still love me?" Because she loved Arizona desperately. Nothing would ever change that.

"Callie..." Arizona wanted to protest that her wife would even ask that of her but she held her tongue for a moment. Because Callie deserved an honest answer. She deserved a partner who was whole too.

"I'm not trying to trick you, Arizona," Callie said, her voice heavy, nearly defeated. "Yes or no. Do you love me? You can be pissed at me, you can resent me, you can maybe even hate me right now. I need to know, though. Simple answer. Yes or no. Does any part of you still love me at all?"

When she put it like that there was only one answer Arizona could give. "Yes."

"Do you want to stay with me? Do you want a di-"

"Callie, stop. Don't," Arizona croaked hoarsely. "Don't say it." She swallowed hard, head shaking slowly from side to side. She wanted her marriage. But she'd betrayed it. "You're my wife. That's what I want. But I – I cheated, Callie."

Callie's jaw tensed, her teeth clenching. Hearing it come out of her mouth felt like a fist squeezing her heart in her chest. That same heart just knew that it wasn't true. When she'd tried to argue that with Arizona she'd gone catatonic though. It made her hesitant to restart the discussion. "You want to stay married? You want to work this out?"

"More than anything," Arizona sighed. "Callie..."

"I'm talking now," Callie interjected. "We need help here, Arizona." Eyes locked, Callie's tongue peeking out to wet her lips. "I think we need to talk to somebody." She could already see the resistance in her spouse's face. Stubborn woman. "Let's get Sofia to bed and we'll talk about it."

Arizona's hold on the baby tightened. "The power's still out. She'll be scared." Callie arched an eyebrow doubtfully. Sofia was already half asleep again, comforted by her parents' presence. "I don't want to let her go," Arizona admitted.

Sighing, Callie reached forward to ruffle soft black hair, the backs of her fingers brushing Arizona's cheek. "I'll get her leopard from her room while I lock up," she said with a soft smile, looking lovingly at her family.

She had just stood from the bed when Arizona spoke again, "Are you going to be okay with me sleeping in here?"

Callie felt her back tighten, a deep breath escaping slowly. Arizona didn't want to sleep beside her because she thought she'd been unfaithful. If it wasn't sad enough to break her heart it would almost make her laugh. "Do you want to sleep next to me?" she asked instead of answering.

"Callie, I made a mistake today..."

"Yes or no, Arizona," prompted Callie, closing her eyes.

"Yes," the blonde answered meekly, grateful that her indiscretion hadn't displaced her from her bed.

"I'll be right back," Callie said without turning around. She got the grocery bags off the floor and onto the counter, got the front door closed and locked behind them, and swept up the broken lamp in the dark, doing her best to get it all, but making a mental note that they shouldn't let Sofia down on the floor in their room until she'd had a chance to run the vacuum.

Putting the broom back in the pantry in the kitchen, Callie took a moment to herself, breathing deeply and savoring the calm quiet of the empty room. The kitchen wasn't an emotionally fraught minefield like it felt like her bedroom was. A soft, sweet, infinitely heart-melting baby giggle came through the doorway and reminded her that there were safe places in the midst of all the danger. Arizona's voice murmuring to their baby elicited another precious laugh and Callie found herself drawn back to the bedroom door.

Arizona was on her side under the sheets, Sofia now carefully tucked in beside her where she would be safely cocooned by her parents. Gentle fingers combed through dark hair, her face pressed in close, Arizona's expression simply captivated by their daughter. It was moments like this that made Callie sure that whatever was going on, they could get through it.

"Got room for me in there?" Callie asked, moving into the room. She was exhausted enough to contemplate sleeping anywhere. But cocooning herself in bed with her family, her whole world, would always be the best option.

Arizona met her gaze over Sofia's head when she slid under the sheets with them but didn't say anything. And Callie was prepared for a weird night of no talking, no touching. She understood. Arizona was confused, uncertain where they stood. And their daughter was in the bed so it wasn't like they could talk things out any more tonight. Sighing, Callie tucked the toy leopard into tiny hands and kissed Sofia's head before turning onto her other side. She could hear the rustling of movement behind her but didn't peek. A hand slipped slowly and cautiously under her elbow and Callie shifted to let her in, an arm sliding carefully over her side.

"Okay?" Arizona checked in a whisper. She wanted to hold her wife, try and erase the memories of another woman under her touch, but told herself she wouldn't be wrecked if Callie wouldn't let herself be held right now.

"Okay."

Relieved, Arizona shifted forward further, Sofia safely curled up between Callie's back and her own chest. If she moved her leg forward just a little bit she could just touch Callie's feet with her own. She didn't though, scared that too much contact too soon would push her away. She couldn't help breathing in deeply, wanting to capture the scent of Callie's hair, savor the smell of her skin. She didn't know what tomorrow would hold for her.

And waking the next morning (or was it afternoon? Her fuzzy mind couldn't figure it out), Arizona found herself alone. It sent her heart plummeting even as her mind tried to resign itself to this new reality. She couldn't blame Callie for leaving.

Noise from beyond the bedroom door made her think that maybe Callie hadn't gone as far as she'd thought she would have run. Looking around the bedroom she saw that the lamp had been entirely cleaned up and her prosthetic was leaning in its usual place against the bedside table on her side of the bed. They had never really had sides of the bed until the crash, too busy just wanting to share the space to care which half of the mattress they occupied as long as the other half was taken by their partner. Now they had to make sure Arizona's leg was always in reach.

Fucking plane crash.

Sitting up, Arizona tousled her hair, the other hand sliding unconsciously over to feel that the sheets beside her were cold. Callie and Sofia had been out of bed for a while. Throwing back the sheets Arizona winced as she caught sight of her stump. The long day in the prosthetic had left her swollen and sensitive. Pressing tentatively, she tried to rub some of the sore tension from her shortened thigh. It helped, but she wasn't as good as Callie at it. Maybe she could get some relief if she could ever convince her wife to touch her again.

There was no way she could wear her leg today. Especially not if she was spending the day at home with her family. Her wheelchair was parked in the corner of the bedroom and she moved to the edge of the bed slowly. A hand on the nightstand helped stabilize her enough to reach the chair, pivoting on her good leg and dropping into the seat. Sometimes she hated her wheelchair for being the easiest way to get around the house. It just made her feel so... invalid.

Sighing, Arizona's head dropped. She couldn't even get out of bed without getting depressed. The feelings, emotions about everything, were like a tide inside her, rising and falling back at random. Lately it felt like there was more rising than falling. Everything was heightened and had been for a while. And she'd been trying so hard to keep a lid on it that it had started to feel like she was perpetually vibrating inside with the effort to stifle herself.

Until that on-call room where she'd let her control snap and dissolve into nothing. She'd lost her control and betrayed her marriage. And Callie... Callie had hardly reacted, hadn't even kicked her out of bed. Arizona's throat felt tight and her chest ached. What the hell was happening to her life?

Getting past the closed bedroom door with the chair was easy now, Arizona wheeling herself into the living room and pasting a smile on as she caught sight of Sofia doing her damndest to walk. It would be only be a matter of time now. "Ma-ma," she announced happily as soon as she saw her.

"Good morning," Arizona said, leaving her chair in place as Sofia toddled toward her with both hands on the couch for balance.

Watching them from the kitchen, Callie felt her heart swell and twist. Her whole life, this is what she'd wanted – a family with the person she loved. And it all felt threatened right now. Not by something outside, but by something invisible and unsettling. Something she didn't understand and wasn't sure how to overcome. The sight of Arizona leaning over to lift Sofia into her lap, Sofia immediately standing up on her mother's thighs to hug her neck, brought a smile to her lips.

Arizona caught sight of the smile and was suddenly, almost inexplicably, incensed. Except that it wasn't really a surprise. The rage was always near the surface these days. And it took more strength than she had left inside to restrain the anger right now. How dare Callie just smile like there was nothing wrong when she couldn't even tell if the world was still right side up.

"How'd you sleep?" Callie's question was soft spoken, caring and tender. It made Arizona's jaw tighten, her blood boil. "You're up early."

Arizona's eyes narrowed across the room at her partner. "I cheated on you." The smile fell off Callie's face in a split second. "How are you still talking to me? You let me sleep in our bed after I had sex with another woman!" Callie's mouth fell open but Arizona blazed ahead, her tone rising. "If you ever cheated on me, Callie, I would kick your ass, I would kick her ass, or his ass. I would kick everyone's ass!" And she'd do it standing on her one leg, too. She choked, hiccuping back an angry sob. Crying wouldn't help her right now. "But you don't even seem to care! Do you care?!" she asked, pleading without realizing it. "You asked me if I love you, but do you still love me?! Because this has never been an open marriage, Callie. Do you not care that I did what I did? If you don't, tell me! Because it was the biggest mistake I have ever made! Bigger than leaving you for Africa! Bigger than -" she stopped abruptly. She'd meant to say 'bigger than getting on the plane' but that simply wasn't true. Her wounded pride and grief getting her on that plane would always be the biggest mistake of her life. That was the way it was. Four days in the woods had cost her her leg, had fundamentally altered who she was. And she wasn't sure she could get back to herself. But she'd told herself that was something she could live with. As long as she had Callie.

She'd cheated, yes, but she didn't know what she would do if she'd lost Callie. Her world was upside down, but a world without Callie wasn't worth imagining.

Slumping in her chair Arizona pressed her lips against Sofia's hair and tried not to cry. Thankfully the little girl was oblivious to the crackling tension in the air, pulling on Arizona's shirt lightly and looking around the room. When she was bored she slouched and shimmied herself off of her mother's lap, crawling contentedly across the floor toward her plush leopard.

"Don't stay if you don't love me." Arizona watched Sofia, not sure she could watch Callie leave her.

Callie could only stare in disbelief from the far side of the kitchen island. Arizona wasn't looking at her. And seemed to be waiting on her to grab a jacket and walk out the door. Her patience with this whole situation burned away like mist under sunlight, her own temper rising to match Arizona's.

"Okay, you know what? No!" Callie marched around the counter, not resisting the urge to pace in front of her wife's chair. "This isn't happening like this! I have tried to be what you needed since the crash. And I have tried so damn hard to get through to you that I am never leaving you! It has never even crossed my mind to leave you, Arizona. I can't survive without you! But you don't want to hear it! You've been waiting on me to walk out the door since I got you back!" Stomping, she leaned over Arizona's wheelchair, both hands on the armrests while her face stopped only inches from Arizona's. "But it's never going to happen," she promised, her eyes searching her wife's flushed face. "And I don't care how many times I have to say it. Whatever happens, I will be here at the end of the day."

"I cheated, Callie," Arizona growled, leaning her head back. "And it doesn't seem to mean anything to you."

"Did it mean something to you?" countered Callie without moving. "Did she mean something to you?"

"You mean everything to me."

Callie's face softened spontaneously. "I know that." Arizona frowned, confused. "That's how I know that you didn't cheat on me," she said softly. Blonde brows furrowed, a full bottom lip dropping as she sucked in a breath. Callie waited for a beat, praying that Arizona wasn't about to shut down on her again. "I don't know what is happening, sweetheart," she knelt slowly, cautiously putting both hands on Arizona's good knee. "But I know better than anything that I love you.

"And I love you," Arizona echoed helplessly.

"Nothing else matters, right?" Callie whispered, head tilting to one side as she locked eyes with Arizona, trying to search her lover's soul, hoping that Arizona could see her heart in her eyes. Her heart jumped when Arizona nodded slowly. "Okay. So no one's running." Callie licked her lips. "I'm not running," she promised earnestly.

"But I cheated." Callie didn't say anything and Arizona's mouth moved for a long second. "Why don't you believe me?"

Callie didn't blink, looking straight into her face. "Because I know you, Arizona. You're not a cheater. You wouldn't cheat on me. You wouldn't betray me. You wouldn't betray our family."

The worst part was that Arizona agreed with her. She wasn't a cheater. She wouldn't betray her wife, risk losing her daughter. But she remembered exactly what had happened. She had cheated. She had betrayed her wife.

Callie's expression didn't waver. She didn't doubt her.

Hadn't she cheated? She could remember it. She could remember every single second of her infidelity. Callie had pressed her though and it was like her brain had shut off. She could remember that too. Could remember falling into her wife's arms and sobbing brokenly.

"I'm broken," Arizona whispered. She wasn't sure what was going on in her life, but she knew that. "I don't want to break you." She found Sofia over Callie's head. "I can't break her."

Callie wanted to object but didn't. Because Arizona couldn't hear her reassurances right now. "We need help," she agreed softly. Tiny little hands gripped the back of her shirt suddenly, Sofia grinning happily at her parents. When she smiled like that she looked like Mark. It was unbelievably sweet and cute but it stung sometimes.

The adorable interruption put a stop to their more serious conversation, Callie twisting around to pick up their daughter

"Ma-ma, hungee," Sofia said, her bottom lip hanging out in a pitiful expression that should be illegal.

Arizona surprised them all with a laugh, Callie's eyebrows rising as she looked up at her partner. "She gets that look from you," Arizona said, leaning forward to swipe her thumb across the pouty lip. "It's a killer."

Callie smiled, bouncing Sofia lightly on her hip. "Well, we can't have that, can we?" Arizona held her elbow stable as Callie pushed herself to her feet without her hands. Giving her wife a grateful smile, Callie was relieved to see her expression was more relaxed. "I'm not sure what options we've got with no power, but we'll figure something out."

"Sure we will," Arizona agreed, forcing her voice into a cheerful tone, wheeling into the kitchen behind her partner. A moment later the whole building hummed as the electricity snapped back on.