La Rose Rouge [1], this ship is called. La Rose Rouge, along with her sister ships El Tomate Lindo [2] and Das Genial Vogel [3] have terrorised European waters for years.

La Rose Rouge picked Yao and Ivan up just a few weeks ago, from a little Russian port. Yao, with his yellowed skin and thin eyes, quickly became the butt of a series of crude jokes, but when the huge Russian stepped forwards, the European buccaneers would shrink back, and no more was said about Yao's Asian traits.

At the age of nine, little Matthew Bonnefoy should have been intimidated by the wok-wielding Chink and his scarfed companion. But in fact, Matthew was curious. He wanted to know why Yao's eyes are a funny shape, why his hair is so long, why he ends every sentence with 'aru'. He wanted to know why Ivan's nose is so large, why he wears that long, white scarf, why he always smiles. At first, Yao and Ivan thought he was just a little stow-away; he wasn't meant to be there, and someone of higher authority would take care of him. How wrong they were.

"Mon petit Mathieu is asking you questions," their flamboyant French Captain barks, "You will answer him, or there will be consequences, comprende?" And with those words, Capitaine Bonnefoy left.

Looking little Matthew over more carefully, they both mentally facepalm. Matthew has a look of the Captain about him; the same silky blond hair, the same sparkling blue eyes, the same stylishly-cut French clothing. No stow-away could navigate his way through ship, no stow-away could wander through swarming crowds of pirates without being crushed or kidnapped, no stow-away could own a fluffy, white polar bear cub, unless he was the son of pirate- a prestigious pirate captain, at that.

"Aiyah…" Yao mumbles, "So you are Mathieu, aru?" [4]

"Matthew Bonnefoy," the boy grins proudly, "And this is Kumajiro. What're you two called?"

"I'm Wang Yao, from China, where the sun sets."

"Ivan Braginski, from Russiya."

"Russia and China are a long, long way away," Matthew gazes out at the sea, studying the waves, "We're somewhere near Latvia, and heading for Sweden. Aren't you worried you're going to get homesick?"

"We have been… uh…" Ivan pauses. How does one explain piracy to a naïve little boy like Matthew? "We have being sailors for quite some time now."

"You're not sailors. You're pirates."

"And you are very clever, aru!" Yao gives a sweet smile.

Matthew sighs. "You don't need to be nice to me just because Papa's in charge," he gives Kumajiro a squeeze, "I just wanted a friend." And with that, the little Frenchboy runs away. Ivan and Yao stare after him, trying to ignore the Captain's angered glare.

Neither saw Matthew again, until two days later, until Yao is sent up into the crow's nest.

"Be careful," the first mate had said, "No crew member has been up there in over a year. That's why we're sending you; you're the most agile."

Yao picks his way up the rigging, flinching and tensing as the mast creaks beneath him. He sighs in relief as his thin fingers grip the edge of the crow's nest. Still trembling slightly, he flops over the flimsy wooden barrier onto a small, squishy object [5].

Said small, squishy object squeals in shock and scurries away. "Yao! Why are you here?"

"Aiyah! Matthew! Why are you here?" Yao blinks in surprise at the boy and his polar bear, who growls in annoyance at being woken up. Packets of biscuits, tins of sweets and bars of chocolate, all from different countries, are stacked against the outer rim of the crow's nest, as well as a few salted fish for the bear.

"I asked first," Matthew says shortly."

"The first mate sent me, aru."

"Oncle Napoleon?" [6] Matthew giggles at the thought of his pint-sized uncle bossing Ivan and Yao about.

"Shi. Now, Matthew, why is a little boy like you up here on your alone?"

"I come here to play. It's mine."

"Aiyah! I have duties, aru!"

"I don't care. Go away, or I'll tell Papa."

Yao sighs in defeat. "Aiyah…alright, but you have to tell your Shūshu Napoleon why I go back down to the deck, aru." He gathers himself up off the floor, brushes some dirt form his red tunic and takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for his descent.

Matthew jumps to his feet, gripping Yao's arm tightly, "Non! You can't tell Oncle Napoleon!"

"Why?" Yao crouches back down again, and gives the food in the corner a second scan, "Matthew, where did the food come from?"

Matthew stares at the floor, one shoe scuffing as he toes the wood.

"Stop that; your Fúqīn will not like it, aru," Yao taps Matthew's shin, and Matthew obediently halts his childish shuffling, "You can tell me, aru."

"I… I… I steal coins from Papa and Oncle Napoleon and other crew. Not lots! Just a couple of coins, nothing they'll miss. And when we port, I sneak out and buy the food and bring it here, and put this over it to keep the wind and snow from spoiling it," he holds up a large rectangular blanket; white with red at either end and a red leaf in the middle [7].

Yao nods, drinking in the words, mulling over his possibilities. "A! I have an idea, aru. Your Shūshu Napoleon wants me to work up here, on the lookout. I could do that, and let you play with Kumajiro, and I won't tell your Shūshu or anyone else about this; it can be our little secret, aru."

Matthew smiles and glomps Yao into a bear-hug. "Merci! Merci!"

Yao detaches himself from the excited little boy, and leans over the edge of the crow's nest, looking out at the wide, and currently empty, horizon.

A few hours later, Matthew pips up; "Yao, are you and Ivan friends?"

Yao pauses slightly before answering, "Shi."

"If we've got a secret, does that make us friends?"

"I suppose it does, aru."

"Do you think Ivan will want to be my friend too?"

"Aiyah… I don't know, aru. Ivan's Russian friends did a very bad thing to him, so he doesn't trust anyone anymore, aru."

"Does he trust you?"

"Shi."

"Does that mean that you're different from Ivan's other friends?"

Another pause. "Shi."

"I hope I can be friends with Ivan. I've never really had a friend before," Matthew sighs, "Kumajiro isn't much of a friend. All he does is eat and sleep."

Yao smiles weakly. "Like a baby, aru."

Matthew giggles. "Is there anything out there?"

"Méiyŏu."

"Would you like to play jacks [8] with me?"

A few days later, La Rose Rouge comes to port in Poland. Matthew and Yao have become fast friends, Yao playing games like jacks and cards and singing Alouette with Matthew while on the lookout.

Gydynia [9] is a quaint little town, filled with shops and shacks. Out of the corner of his slanted eye, Yao watches a little boy in a blue tunic dashing down the port.

He smiles. Nudging Ivan, he whispers "Count your money, aru."

In a dusty bakery with a name neither man can pronounce, Ivan and Yao browse the biscuits and mousses [10] with little interest.

A blond shop assistant bounds up, a lopsided grin across his face. He chatters away in Polish, too quickly for either pirate to translate, the only phrase being understood being "my name is Feliks."

Ivan holds up a hand, his icy purple glare silencing the boy. After an awkward moment of silence, Yao taps Feliks on the arm to get his attention, then points towards the half-empty sweets cabinet.

Ivan watches in confusion as Yao follows Feliks and picks out a syrup-glazed doughnut. His confusion only increases as Yao begins clapping his hands and barking, trying to explain something to Feliks. The feminine Pole is taken aback, but seems to understand, and points to stall just outside. Yao bows in thanks, and hands Feliks his money. Feliks confusedly bows back.

Yao dashes out of the bakery, to the fore-pointed-out stall, which is laden with a wild variety of meats and fish. Ivan follows, ignoring Feliks's bubbly, untranslatable farewell.

"Did you have fun on land, Yao?" Matthew asks as the ponytailed man clambers into the crow's nest.

Taking little notice of the addition to the piles of sweets in the corner, Yao nods enthusiastically. "And I brought you something too."

"Why would you do that?" Matthew's frown is sceptical.

"Because we are friends, aru," Yao smiles, holding out the paper parcel, "And because I did not want anything, and because you often give me your sweets, and it's a thank you for not taking I or Ivan's money, aru."

Grinning, Matthew takes the parcel and unwraps it. "I wouldn't steal from you, Yao, because you're my friend. And I wouldn't steal from Ivan because he's your friend." Matthew frowns at the parcel, "Is it safe to eat raw meat?"

"Aiyah!" Yao exclaims, swiping the parcel from Matthew and presenting him with a slightly rounder one, "I got this for Kumajiro!" he pulls out a fillet, and tosses it to the bear, "Fresh seal from the market; you told me it was his favourite, aru."

Matthew grins, "You remembered!"

"Of course, aru."

Matthew hides his smile by hurriedly stuffing his doughnut in his mouth.

Ivan and Yao lie in their shared hammock [11], staring up at the ceiling.

"Where did the sweet and seal go?" Ivan's thick Russian accent breaks the silence.

Yao shuffles until he is laid on his side, coddling Ivan like a woman would her lover. "If I tell you, you must keep it a secret, aru."

"What is it?" Ivan demands, a deep purple aura radiating from his tired body.

"I got the doughnut for Matthew, and the seal for Kumajiro, aru."

"Who?"

"The Captain's son and his bear."

"I had forget they are on ship. I do not see them often."

"That is because they are in the crow's nest, aru."

"Crow's nest? What do they be doing in crow's nest?"

"Playing."

"Playing? Do they not be getting in your way?"

"Méiyŏu. I play with them, aru."

"Yao! You are supposed to being on lookout!"

"Aiyah! No one would dare attack the Bad Touch Trio! And, they survived a whole year without anyone on lookout, aru!"

Ivan sighs, and runs a work-weathered hand up the sleeve of Yao's tunic, "Just do not be getting into trouble, da?"

Several weeks later, La Rose Rouge and her sister ships have made their way around Denmark, past Norway and Sweden, and stopped in Germany so that Das Genial Vogel's Kapitän Bielschmidt could visit his brother. Capitaine Bonnefoy has spent most of his days either in his cabin sweating over maps, or on port with Captains Bielschmidt and Carriedo. Yao sits in the crow's nest playing jacks and card games and singing Alouette with Matthew while Kumajiro sleeps and Ivan slaves away on the deck below.

On day, however, as La Rose Rouge reaches the border between Belgium and the Netherlands, an explosion sounds on the port side and the ship suddenly rocks violently starboard [12], throwing Yao and Matthew into the side of the crow's nest, Matthew's sweets and toys raining down onto the deck.

"Aiyah! What was that, aru?"

Matthew's face crumples and he begins to cry; "It's all my fault! It's all my fault! It's all my fault!"

"Méiyŏu, méiyŏu, it is not your fault," Yao shushes the distraught Frenchboy, smoothing down his hair.

"Oui, c'est de ma faute!" Matthew exclaims, "If you weren't playing with me, you would have seen them!"

"Seen who?"

"Venus!"

"The goods ship Venus! [13]" Matthew's eyes grow wide with fear, "Lead by Captain Arthur Kirkland!"

"If it is just a goods ship…"

"But it's not a goods ship! It's a pirate ship disguised as a goods ship, so they can trick other pirates! [14]"

"If they are pretending to be a goods ship, why would they attack, aru?"

"Captain Kirkland and Papa are always fighting!"

"Aiyah… this is bad, aru."

The ship lurches violently a second time, as wood shatters at the rear end of the ship. Fearing the worst, Yao peers over the edge of the crow's nest. The Captain's cabin is destroyed, but the ship doesn't appear to be in any danger of sinking.

A third cannonball is fired, but whistles uselessly through the air, flying straight over the ship and sinking into the water on the starboard side.

"They're aiming a little high, aren't they?" Matthew voices the thoughts of every sea-dog aboard La Rose Rouge.

Yao snatches up his telescope and, extending the looking-glass, peers through the lens. Several miles away, a blond, bushy-eyebrowed Englishman stares back through his own telescope, practically making eye contact with the Chink. Captain Kirkland lowers his telescope, revealing huge emerald eyes, and barks an order at the boy next to him. The boy, who couldn't be much older than Matthew [15], runs off, and Captain Kirkland raises his telescope once more, still shouting at his scuttling crew, and stares right at Yao.

"Aiyah! They're aiming for us!" Yao shrieks, dropping his telescope and snatching up Matthew and Kumajiro, "He knows you're up here; he's trying to hit you, aru."

Matthew clutches Kumajiro to his chest as Yao settles him on the back of his tunic, and hurriedly scrambles down the rigging. A fourth explosion, and the tip of the mast is gone, taking the crow's nest with it, chunks of wood and the remainder of Matthew's sweets raining down. The hempen rigging slackens, what was once four pieces of rope fastened to the mast now being just being one.

"Yao!" Ivan roars from the deck. Said Chink risks a glance down. Ivan is directly below him, his arms outstretched, as if to catch Yao when he falls.

Matthew whimpers, clutching Yao even tighter. Whispering comfortingly in his mother tongue, Yao pulls Matthew to his front, closes his eyes and lets go of the rigging.

Matthew screams aloud as the air around him whistles and his stomach churns. Ivan dives, forwards, twisting, landing on his back. Yao lands squarely on Ivan's abdomen, winding the huge Russian. He grunts, and Yao slides onto the deck, wincing as pain flares up his leg.

The long-range battle continues around them, and, as stalactite splinters of mast and cabin rain down like great arrows, Ivan pulls Yao and Matthew into his vice-like grip, shielding them both with his trade-toughened body. Then, the explosions end as abruptly as they had begun.

"Mattieu!" Capitaine Bonnefoy snatches up his son, "Tu vas bien? Etes-vous blesse?"

"Non, Papa. Je vais bien."

"You!" The Captain turns to Yao, malice kindling in ocean blue eyes, "You leapt from the riggings with mon petit in your arms! Mon Dieu, mon petit could have been injured!"

"Yao is injured!" Ivan roars.

Looking down at Yao, Capitaine Bonnefoy takes little notice of the unnatural angle of Yao's foot, and barks on order in French. Two crewmates step forwards and drag Yao across the deck, disregarding his "Aiyah!" of pain.

Ivan growls, and begins to rise, a menacing violet aura radiating off his body. Napoleon simply sneers, and delivers a swift kick to Ivan's already abused abdomen. Ivan gives another grunt, and falls back to the floor. The rest of the crew find the situation hilarious; a monster of a Russian man floored by the pint-sized Spaniard [16]. They laugh and they point, twittering away in that supposedly beautiful language of theirs.

Yao is forced to his knees, howling in pain as his broken shin is disturbed.

"Remove your shirt," Capitaine Bonnefoy snaps, "I would hate to ruin such a lovely, silky fabric."

"Nyet!" Ivan roars. He struggles back to his feet, but Napoleon lashes out a second time, flooring the angered Russian once again, and the crew erupts into another round of jeers.

Yao hasn't moved to remove his shirt. His eyes are squeezed shut, apparently anticipating the pain of the beating that is sure to come.

Shrugging, Capitaine Bonnefoy takes the cat o' nine tails [17] presented to him and raises the deadly tool, his crew cheering in anticipation. He raises the whip, higher, higher, and...

"Non, Papa!" Matthew jumps between Yao and his father. The Captain twists his are haphazardly, the knotted braids barely missing Matthew's shoulder. "Ce n'etait pas sa faute, Papa. C'était de ma faute. If I hadn't been in the crow's nest, Yao wouldn't have had to have made that jump."

"Why were you in the crow's nest anyway?" Napoleon demands.

"I... was playing... and Yao played with me."

"So he was neglecting his duties?"

"Non! I..." Matthew's eyes stay on the wooden floor, his fingers tugging at his tunic, "I said that if Yao didn't play with me, I'd make Papa throw him overboard."

"And the food?"

"I bought it with the gold Oncle Antonio gave me."

Capitaine Bonnefoy lets out a sigh, and hands the cat o' nine tails back to the crew member of whom had fetched it. "Mattieu Bonnefoy, I am very cross with you. Go to your room."

"Mais... c'est gone."

"Quoi?" Capitaine Bonnefoy gazes up at the bombsite where his cabin- and Matthew's bedroom- once stood, and groans in exasperation. "Va te faire foutre,Kirkland. You'll have to stay with one of your uncles."

"It is alright, Duìzhǎng," Yao says, rolling over so he is seated, facing the crew, sighing as the weight on his broken leg is relieved, "Matthew can sleep in the hammock with Ivan and me, aru."

"I can?"

"Il peut la faire? [French; He can?]"

"On mozhet?[Russian; He can?]"

"Shi. Matthew and me have grown close, aru."

Matthew smiles, and blushes a little at the comment. "Yao's my friend, Papa. I don't know Ivan very well, but if he's Yao's friend, I'm sure he'll be my friend too."

"I don't like this idea!" Capitaine Bonnefoy exclaims, "I don't want mon petit to get..." he eyes Ivan, "crushed."

"Ivan doesn't move a muscle, aru," Yao swears.

"Sil vous plait, Papa..." and suddenly, Matthew's eyes seem to grow to the size of saucers.

Capitaine Bonnefoy curses himself for teaching his cute son how to con [17], and caves. "But you will be helping to clean up the debris!"

Matthew nods enthusiastically. Ivan pulls himself to his feet, shoves Napoleon down before the pint-sized man attempts another kick at him, and hauls Yao over his shoulder, heading straight for the doctor's office, Matthew following just two steps behind.

"Get out of here, malen'kiy mal'chik [little boy]," Ivan growls, setting Yao down on the table.

"Aiyah... where is yisheng Edelstein de? [Doctor Edelstein]"

"Oncle Roderick is on Das Genial Vogel with Oncle Gilbert," Matthew says, climbing onto the table beside Yao.

"Oncle Antonio, Oncle Roderick, Oncle Gilbert... how many oncle does malen'kiy mal'chik have?"

"Mamon and Papa didn't have siblings, so I call Papa's friends 'oncle'."

"Where is your mumiya? Why does she not look after you?"

"Mon mamon is dead."

The room falls silent. "Prosti, malen'kiy mal'chik," Ivan mumbles.

Ivan places some bandages and a bottle on the table. "Maff... Math... Matt... Matvey, you will not want to be seeing this."

Matthew rolls his eyes. "I've lived on pirate ships for as long as I can remember. I think I can handle a broken bone being reset."

"Still..." Ivan gives a sigh," Okay, malen'kiy mal'chik, listen close. My hammock is in back corner, far away from stairs. At end, is pair of boots. Under boots, is loose floor. Under floor, is bottle of vodka. Fetch. Vodka. Ponimayesh'?"

Matthew nods, and jumps off the table.

"But do not be letting others be knowing I have vodka, da?"

Matthew vanishes out of the door, and Yao pulls Ivan into a gentle hug. "I thought that was for emergencies only, aru."

"I think this is emergency," Ivan shrugs Yao off, and steps back, grimacing, "If Vrach Edelstein is not here, I will putting bone back in place myself." Ivan takes a gentle hold of Yao's ankle. "Brace yourself, da?"

Yao shuffles, grips the table, bites down on his bottom lip, and gives Ivan a nod.

A sickening crunching noise is followed by a shriek of "Aiyah!"

Matthew shoves the bottle into the front of his britches [18], and pulls his tunic over it. Plucking Kumajiro from the floor, he positions the beloved bear over the bottle-shaped lump, and skips off back to Oncle Roderick's office.

He canters across the deck, happily singing Alouette. The crew don't even spare him a glance; they're perfectly used to the Captain's son.

Before Matthew is even through the door, Ivan is demanding his vodka. Yao is still on the table, holding pack tears of pain.

"It's okay, Yao," Matthew says, setting Kumajiro down on the floor, "Broken bones hurt lots."

Ivan rolls his eyes. "Where is vodka?"

Glaring at Ivan, Matthew pulls up his shirt and removes the bottle, thrusting the glass container into Ivan's outstretched hand. Ivan takes his precious alcohol and unscrews the cap, handing it to Yao. Yao gratefully takes a long swig, the alcohol quickly numbing his head.

Ivan takes up a bandage and begins to wrap it tightly around Yao's throbbing leg. Mathew climbs onto the table next to Yao, chattering away.

"...And my Oncle Feliciano makes all different kinds of pasta, but he usually makes tomato pasta, 'cause that's Oncle Lovino's favourite. Oncle Antonio likes tomato pasta too, and he likes chorizo in his pasta. Oncle Ludwig and Oncle Gilbert don't like chorizo, but they do like wurst. I don't like wurst, and neither does Oncle Feliciano, but he makes pasta with wurst because Oncle Ludwig likes it. That's the thing about pasta; it goes with anything! I wonder if you can put pancakes in pasta..."

"Malen'kiy mal'chik!" Ivan snaps, securing the knot in Yao's bandages. Yao hisses in pain, even with the vodka numbing his nerves.

Matthew falls silent, jaw clenching, and he stares down at his hands. As Ivan turns around, Yao and Matthew share a devious look. Yao stifles his giggles as Matthew opens his mouth and sings; "Alouette, gentille alouette..." [19]

"Stop!" Ivan roars, whirling around. Yao and Matthew crumple into peals of laughter; Yao's drunken, and Matthew's high-pitched, shrieks filling the messy little office.

Ivan dashes forward to catch Yao as the drunken Chink stumbles off the table. "No more vodka," he mumbles, stuffing the bottle into the folds of his thick overcoat, and hauls Yao over his shoulder.

He tromps across the deck, not even bothering to attempt to shrug Matthew off him as the Frenchboy grabs his hand and begins to swing on Ivan's arm, still singing the Canadian nursery rhyme, "Alouette, gentille alouette. Alouette, je te plumarai. Je te plumarai le tete..."

Ivan glances down as Matthew suddenly stops singing. Matthew is looking up at him, eyes wide and expectant. Ivan frowns, "What?"

"You were supposed to sing 'je te plumarai le tete' after me."

Ivan just shakes his head and flounces down the stairs to the crew's quarters and, as Matthew refuses to let go of his hand, he ends up dragging the boy after him.

Ivan settles Yao, who has fallen asleep, into the hammock while Matthew gets Kumajiro to curl up in the corner. Ivan shrugs off his coat and boots, and puts his vodka back in its hidey-hole. When he stands back up, Matthew has removed his shoes and socks, loosened the 'fashionable' buttons and ties of his tunic and britches, and is standing by the hammock, studying the fabric, trying to work out how to climb up into the makeshift bed.

Ivan chuckles. He climbs into the hammock next to Yao and grabs Matthew, lifting his up into the air with ease, and places him between himself and Yao.

Matthew smiles and snuggles down. It's a little more cramped than Ivan would like, but it's far from a tight squeeze, thanks to Matthew and Yao's small frames. Ivan closes his eyes, comfortable, heat radiating from both Matthew and Yao, keeping Ivan warm without the need for his coat.

"Ivan..."

Ivan growls. "Go to sleep, malen'kiy mal'chik."

"Why are you still wearing your scarf?"

Ivan's eyes open, and fingers the ratty woollen garment. "I grew up in orphanage. If I left my scarf, they would have taken it."

"Is it important to you?"

"Moy sestra Katyusha made it for me."

"I don't have any siblings," Matthew says quietly, "Mamon was pregnant when she died."

"Was she sick?"

"Non. Papa says Mamon was the strongest, most courageous woman who ever lived. But she was captured and killed by Captain Kirkland [20]. That's what started the fight between him and Papa."

"That is... that is terrible, malen'kiy mal'chik."

"What about your parents?"

"Moy mumiya was..." Ivan frowns. "Do you know what prostitute is?"

"Oui. Oncle Gilbert hires them all the time [21]."

"Da... moy mumiya was prostitute. She had six children; Katyusha, I, Toris, Natalia, Eduard and Ravis. Mumiya died when Ravis was born. Katyusha tried to raise us, but we were taken apart. Katyusha and Natalia were taken different orphanage to me and brothers.

"When I was eighteen, I was kicked out of orphanage. I found work as blacksmith. When I was twenty-one, moy druz'ya [my friends] take me to tavern. I passed out after third drink."

"I wake on pirate ship. Kapitan Zima [23] said moy druz'ya had sold me to him."

After a moment of silence, of Ivan brooding his past, Matthew rests a comforting hand on Ivan's shoulder. "Do you know what happened to Yao?" the Frenchboy asks.

"Da. Yao's parents... they did not be wanting him. They left him on street to die [24]. He was found by old toymaker, Lǜ Lóng [25] his name was. But when Lǜ Lóng died, Yao was left to look after other children Lǜ Lóng had saved. After few years, the money Lǜ Lóng left for them was running out. Yao had to find work. The best he find was piracy. He had to be leaving his siblings in China to work. He sends them money any way he can."

"That's awful," Matthew says, "You've both had such awful, awful lives."

Ivan smiles wearily. "You know, malen'kiy mal'chik, Yao and me have dream, to go to China and find Yao's siblings."

"But that means... you'll have to leave... and I'll never see you again."

"Da... prosti, malen'kiy mal'chik."

Matthew doesn't respond immediately. He simply snuggles down further in-between Ivan and Yao, and sighs. Just before he falls asleep, he mumbles; "I only have one memory of Mamon. That was the last night she was alive. She sang Alouette to me before I went to sleep. I've sung Alouette on a daily basis forever since." And then, the little boy falls asleep.

The following day, Matthew is silent. He doesn't complain as he is put to work. He doesn't even sing Alouette or chatter happily. Yao keeps trying to talk to him, but falls silent as Napoleon glares at him. Ivan simply keeps working, clearing away massive piles of wood, but he too is silently worrying about the unusually silent boy.

"Hey, Yao," Matthew pips up suddenly, "If you went back to China and found your siblings, it would make you happy, wouldn't it?"

Yao is confused as to how Matthew knows about his siblings, but nods anyway. Matthew dives into the rubble that used to be his bedroom. After a few minutes of wood flying in all directions, Matthew emerges holding a wooden box the size of his head.

"Would this be enough to get you back to China?" he opens the box, revealing an overflow of gold coins and trinkets. Yao collapses to the ground in shock, wincing as he jars his already injured leg. Ivan is by his side in seconds.

"Malen'kiy mal'chik, where did this come from?"

Matthew thrusts the box into Yao's lap. "Oncle Antonio gives me a trinket every time he visits La Rose Rouge or I visit El Tomate Lindo. Some of it is stolen. Some of it wasn't claimed when crew members died [26]. A little bit was given to me by lands folk thinking I was an orphan. Some of it was conned out of people. I've been saving it for something important, and I think you two getting back to China is important, because you're my friends and I want you both to be happy. I hid the box by Kumajiro's bed so no one would steal it and- oh!" Matthew looks around frantically, "Where's Kuma?"

Yao and Ivan make a quick scan of the deck. "Aiyah... I don't know, aru."

"I am sure that bear is just asleep somewhere, da."

"I guess so..." Matthew's face suddenly lights up in a bright smile, "I'm sure bear is just asleep somewhere; it rhymes!"

Ivan and Yao chuckle. Grasping Yao's hand, Ivan pulls the man to his feet. Yao gives a shriek of pain, collapsing back to the floor.

Ivan and Matthew crowd the whimpering Chink. Ivan pulls up the leg of Yao's trousers and tears of the bandages. Yao's shin is entirely swollen and red. A ring of purple encircles the breakage, and angry crimson criss-crossing bruises show clearly where the bandages had been.

"Yebat!" Ivan curses in his native tongue. He hauls Yao over his shoulder again, and Matthew follows them Artze Edelstein's office.

"Nothing to worry about," Artze Edelstein says calmly, "Remove your trousers so I can get to your legs properly.

Yao strips quickly, pulling his tunic down to cover his adulthood. Ivan stiffens, one hand in his coat, fingering something metallic.

Artze Edelstein turns and scans Yao. He raises an eyebrow, "Is it normal for Asians to have such feminine figures?"

Suddenly, Ivan is right beside the Austrian doctor, a crooked metal pipe waving threateningly in front of his face, "Breathe a word, and it will be becoming normal for you to have very ugly face, da?"

"Yao?" Matthew's voice is quiet as he climbs onto the table next to his Chinese friend. "Are you a lady?" [27]

Yao wraps his- her?- arms around Matthew, hugging the small boy close, "Shi."

"Then why are you on a pirate ship?"

"It is impossible for a girl to find work in China, aru. That was why my parents left me to die; I couldn't work. I was just a burden, and a waste of their money. I tried to find work, but they always made me strip, they always found out I'm a woman. I tried everything. I even sold my body- once. When my siblings found out... Kaoru and Yong-Soo cried for hours, and Kiku said that if I ever whored myself out again, I should not even bother returning home."

Artze Edelstein gives a condensing grunt, pushing the pipe out of his face, "It makes no difference to me whether you are male or female. You're not the first lady-pirate I've dealt with. Remember Vash Zwingli? Her real name was Liliya. Vash was her brother. He was press-ganged [28], and she'd been trying to find him. She left when we ported in Germany; she's heard that Vash was making his way back to Switzerland via the Alps."

Ivan cautiously lowers the pipe, allowing Artze Edelstein to pass. He does so, holding up a large tool.

"Aiyah! What are you going to do with that?" Yao shrieks.

Artze Edelstein glances from Yao, to the saw, and back again. "I'm going to cut your leg off," he says bluntly. [29]

"Don't you have anything less primitive?"

"Nien."

Ivan and Matthew stay with Yao throughout the horrific ordeal. Ivan keeps mumbling soothing words in his native tongue. Matthew sings Alouette over and over, singing both parts by himself.

Napoleon bursts through the door, demanding to know why the trio aren't working. "Just because you're la Capitain's petit enfant doesn't mean you can slack off!"

"Yao's leg..." Matthew starts to explain.

"I don't care!" Napoleon exclaims. "Cut half his other leg off, and he'll still be significantly taller than me! Now back to work!"

The door slams. "There's a difference between an amputated leg and being a good-for-nothing piggy-oink-midget!" Matthew hollers after his uncle.

Ivan chuckles, picking Yao up bridal style. "Cub can bark, da?"

"Oncle Napoleon?" Matthew dashes up to the first mate, hoping the little man hadn't heard the insult he had bellowed after him in Oncle Roderick's office, "Have you seen Kumajiro; I haven't seen him all day."

Napoleon grins sickeningly. "Oui. Follow me," he sets off, beckoning for his 'beloved nephew' to follow him, "What you must remember, Mattieu, is that you have snuck off ship- yes, I've seen you- you've stolen from myself and the rest of the crew- yes, I've seen you- you've been stashing sweets and treasure- yes, I've seen you- you've been sneaking around with bottles of alcohol down the front of your britches- yes, I've seen you- and just today, you called me a 'good-for-nothing piggy-oink-midget'. So, I think my actions are perfectly justified."

"Oncle Napoleon..." Matthew's voice is small, afraid, "What have you done?" By now, the pair have reached the front ship, by the figurehead. A rope has been tied firmly to a hook that used to hold a piece of rigging, and is dangling into the water. "You didn't..." Matthew's voice trails off as Napoleon simply grins a little wider, and cocks his head towards a taught rope.

"Kumajiro!" Matthew howls. His cry reaches his father, in the kitchen below the deck. His cry reaches Ivan and Yao, in the bombsite where the cabin once stood. The crew falls silent as Yao hauls herself onto Ivan's back, as Capitaine Bonnefoy dashes up the stairs onto the deck, as Matthew pulls Kumajiro's drowned body out of the water.

"Who did this?" Capitaine Bonnefoy demands as Matthew fists his beloved bear's fur.

Napoleon pales drastically. "It was... uh... it was him!" he exclaims, pointing at Ivan.

Without a thought, Capitaine Bonnefoy produces his pistol, and balances the barrel against Ivan's mountainous nose.

"I have been with your son all day, Kapitan," Ivan says calmly, "I could not have killed bear."

"That bear's been dead for hours!" Napoleon shouts, "He must have done it this morning, when Matthew was sleeping!"

"I could not have left hammock without waking Matvey and Yao."

"Then who was it?" Capitaine Bonnefoy demands.

"Napoleon," a voice states from behind him. Matthew is knelt on the floor cradling his lost pet, "Napoleon killed Kumajiro."

"Now, Capitaine," Napoleon raises his hands in defence, "Why would I kill petit Matteiu's bear? You know how much Mattieu means to me; he's like the son I never had."

"Napoleon killed him!" Matthew screams.

"You can't honestly believe this!"

"I can!" an Egyptian boatswain cries out, "He lead the boy to the body! And he was lecturing him on his behaviour, saying his actions were perfectly justified! Me and Sadik heard him!" The Turk next to him nods his masked head, and a sleepy Greek behind them also nods.

"You did not be thinking this through good, did you comrade?" Ivan laughs.

And suddenly, Matthew takes a leaf out of his Oncle Lovino's book, and throws himself at Napoleon, his hands balled into fists, the tiny fleshy weapons hammering into Napoleon's abdomen and lower body, chanting 'piggy-oink-midget' at the top of his voice. Torn between lashing out at the Captain's son, and suffering at the Captain's son's little hands, Napoleon backs away, closer and closer to the edge. Closer, and closer, and closer, until he hits the only barrier between the deck and water and, stumbling backwards, falls into the salty black below.

Capitaine Bonnefoy and Ivan, still with Yao on his back, dash to the edge as Napoleon's writhing, frightened form splashes into the waves. Ivan gives yet another chuckle; "And cub can bite, too."

"I killed a man," Matthew says softly. It's night again, and he is laid in the hammock between Ivan and Yao.

"Nyet, detanysh, it is not bad thing," Ivan soothes, "He hurt your friend; he deserved it."

"He's dead..."

"Maybe not, aru," Yao says gently, "Maybe another ship will pick him up."

"I hope Captain Kirkland picks him up."

Ivan giggles, "Cub still be barking, da?"

Matthew frowns. "Cub?"

"Da. Cub. Detenysh. You are like little bear cub; cute and cuddly, but still had bad bark and bad bite." Ivan's face scrunches up, his thick hands curl into claws, and he growls and snarls, pawing at Matthew before roughly tickling the boy. Matthew squeals with laughter, kicking and thrashing. Yao gives a stifled grunt of pain as her leg is disturbed, but quickly joins in tickling the newly-dubbed 'cub' until his face is bright red.

Snuggling back down, Matthew asks the question that has been bugging him since Oncle Roderick tended to Yao's leg; "If Yao's a lady, and you two came together, and are always together, and you sleep together, are you..."

"Together?" Yao guesses as Matthew trails off.

"Da," Ivan says, smiling, "We hope to be getting married in China."

"That's amazing," Matthew sighs, "It's so happy! Are you going to have lots of pretty babies?"

"Nyet. Kapitan Zima was cruel, cruel man."

"What did he do?"

"He found prostitute on board ship, and made sure not one of us could visit her again." [30]

"Capitaine Zima was a horrid man."

"Da. But you can never guess..."

"What!"

"Kapitan Kirkland found him!"

"Yay!" Matthew cheers.

"Aiyah!" Yao slaps Ivan playfully, "Don't encourage this behaviour, aru!" Ivan and Matthew just giggle.

"I'll miss you when you go back to China," Matthew sighs.

"Well... detenysh could come with us."

"I can?"

"Wo keyi ma? [Mandarin; He can?]"

"Da. There is plenty enough in detenysha little box."

"Really?" Mathew's face lights up, and he throws himself at the Russian, pulling him into a tight hug which he soon pulls Yao into as well. "Merci! Merci! Merci!"

In the morning, however, the brilliant, happy future, doesn't seem so bright. Yao's forehead is burning up, sweat dripping from her face.

Ivan and Matthew vacate the hammock. After Matthew pulls a pouty-face at his Papa, both are allowed to stay with Yao.

Without even sending for Artze Edelstein, Ivan gently unwraps the bloody bandage to reveal the mangled lump below Yao's knee. "It is infected," he says glumly.

"Can't somebody do something?" Matthew asks.

"Nyet, detenysh," Ivan runs a huge hand over Matthew's hair, "There is nothing we can do."

"But..." Matthew whimpers, "You were gonna go back to China, and get married, and see Yao's siblings again."

"I know."

Matthew sinks against the wall, toying with his tunic. Yao watches him, then struggles into a seated position, propping herself up on her arms. "Has Ivan told you about Lǜ Lóng , aru?"

"Oui. The toy master who raised you."

"Shi. Before he died, he made each of us a toy, aru. Kiku's was a wandering turtle-spirit, Kauru's was a panda, Yong-Soo's was a tiger, and mine was a white cat called Kǎi dì Māo." [31]

"That's amazing."

"Kǎi dì Māo is under the floorboard, with the vodka."

"Do you want Kǎi dì Māo?"

"Méiyŏu... I want you to have Kǎi dì Māo."

Three days later, La Rose Rouge comes to port in France. Yao has been built a coffin out of the broken wood of the cabin, and has been lowered into the water. As one of her final requests, she carried Kumajiro on her chest, a red ribbon from Matthew's tunic tying her hair in a ponytail, and a small piece of wool from Ivan's scarf tied around her left ring finger.

"Mattieu!"

Matthew freezes halfway down the port, his hand clenching around Ivan's. His Papa runs up, throwing his arms around him, hugging him close. But instead of dragging Matthew back to the ship, cursing Ivan to hell and back, Capitaine Bonnefoy hands his son a small bag of coins, a dagger, and his own cloak. He stands, tells Ivan to treat his son well, wishes them both good luck, then turns and walks away, vanishing into the crowds.

Ivan and Matthew also turn and leave. Many people across both Europe and Asia have vague recollections of seeing a tall man with a long scarf walking hand-in-hand with a little boy carrying a stuffed white cat. Some even remember seeing a woman in a red tunic, a matching ribbon tying her long black hair in a ponytail, and carrying a white polar bear cub, following the duo, but the duo never turn back to see her. None of them never knew, or asked about, their story. They never asked Capitaine Bonnefoy why he handed himself over to the British Navy. They never asked the ocean what happened to Napoleon, or where Yao and Kumajiro washed up. They never asked the scarfed Russian about the red thread tied around his left ring finger. They never asked the Frenchboy about the toy he refused to put down, and they never knew about the dagger-shaped lump in the front of his britches that the cuddly cat concealed. They never asked the duo why they would sing Alouette as they walked, the Russian clumsily repeating the little boy's singing. They never asked the ponytailed woman why she followed them, or why she carried the polar bear. No, no one ever asked for the story of the lonely Russian, the Chinese lady-pirate and the Captain's son.

Longest A/N I have ever written (sorry!)

Please do not read if you haven't read the story, as there are spoilers

[1] La Rose Rouge; The Red Rose. Capitaine Bonnefoy's ship

[2] El Tomate Lindo; The Little Tomato. Capitán Carriedo's ship

[3] Das Genial Vogel; The Awesome Bird. Kapitän Bielschmidt's ship

[4] Accents; Ivan has a very thick Russian accent, because I think Russian accents are cool. Yao speaks fluent English, but makes the odd mistake, because I have no idea how to write a Chinese accent and didn't want to make a tit of myself. Matthew is fluent in both French and English, but makes mistakes because he's only nine

[5] Matthew is small and squishy; nine-year-olds are very comfortable to sit on. I know this as I have a ten-year-old brother and a nine-year-old brother (whose name actually is Matthew)

[6] Napoleon is first mate; I couldn't think of anyone better, and didn't want to throw in an OC.

[7] The blanket covering Matthew's sweets; the Canadian flag

[8] Jacks; a game in which five or six jacks (spiky star thingies) are strewn in front of you, and you throw another jack into the air, and collect the jacks up before the thrown jack hits the ground. Bonus points if you catch the jack. I think. Don't trust me, because I don't know.

[9] Gydynia; port town in Poland

[10] Biscuits and mousses; the Polish shop down the road from where I live sells a lot of biscuits and mousses and they're amazing, so I decided to plug that in

[11] Sharing hammocks; a way of squeezing in more pirates than the ship should be able to hold. It was also a way of keeping warm when the ship was in Northern waters

[12] Port and Starboard; Right and Left, in that order

[13] The goods ship Venus; reference to Friggin' in the Riggin' by the Sex Pistols

[14] Not a goods ship; a way of tricking other ships into sailing close by. Other ways of doing this included dressing the crew up as women, or putting up a distress signal

[15] Young boy aboard Venus; Alfred F. Jones

[16] Napoleon is Spanish; it's true. And the Englishman, Arthur Wellesley, who defeated him was actually Irish

[17] Cat o' nine tails; a type of whip, with nine braids that were usually knotted at the ends, and often had nails in

[18] Matthew being able to con; a cute boy like Matthew would have been dressed in rags, then sent to stand in crowded places and pull a pleading face to guilt-trip people, especially rich young women, into giving him money

[19] Britches; shorts

[20] Alouette; nursery rhyme originating from Canada. Translates as; lark, nice lark/Lark, I will pluck you/ I will pluck your head/I will pluck your head/And your head/And your head/Lark

[21] Matthew's mamon; J'eanne D'arc

[22] Gilbert hiring prostitutes; because he'd take any opportunity to show off his five metres

[23] Kapitan Zima; Zima is Russian for Winter

[24] Yao being left on the streets to die; as her parents would have wanted a son, they would have left Yao to die. Most parents didn't bother taking their daughter to an orphanage

[25] Lǜ Lóng ; Mandarin for Green Dragon

[26] Claiming gold when crew members die; when a pirate died, his/her gold and clothes, would be taken by the crew mates. Often, this was the only was a lady-pirate would ever be identified as being female

[27] Yao is a lady; I apologise for the gender-bending. Lady-pirates were not uncommon, and often kicked ass. They usually hid, but there were some who would remove their shirts after a victory, to show the men that they had been defeated by a woman

[28] Press-ganged; pirates would get lands-folk so drunk they would pass out, then sell them to a pirate captain. The British Navy also did this to increase its numbers

[29] Cutting Yao's leg off; in Asia and the Middle East, herbal remedies and prayers would be used. In Europe, doctors would just cut the injured limb off, usually with a blunt saw. As the saw wouldn't be cleaned, this often lead to infection, which would lead to more of the limb being hacked off by the same saw. On the plus side, if anything happened to the doctor, the ship carpenter could easily take his place

[30] Zima castrating his crew; some men looked down upon prostitutes. Or, Zima wanted an excuse to torture people. It depends on your interpretation of General Winter

[31] Toys; after some quick research, I came to the conclusion that pandas are the national animal of South Korea and tigers are the national animal of Japan. Kiku's toy is a reference to Episode 20 of Axis Powers. Kǎi dì Māo is Mandarin for Hello Kitty.

Characters

Wang Yao; China

Ivan Braginski; (Mother) Russia

Matthew/Mattieu/Matvey Bonnefoy (malen'kiy mal'chik/detenysh); Canada

Capitaine Bonnefoy; France

Feliks; Poland

Kapitän Bielschmidt (Oncle Gilbert); (The Awesome) Prussia

Capitán Carriedo (Oncle Antonio); Spain

Captain Arthur Kirkland; England/(Great) Britain/(The) United Kingdom

Alfred F. Jones; America/U.S.(A.)

Artze Edelstein (Oncle Roderick); Austria

Oncle Feliciano; North Italy/Veneziano

Oncle Lovino; South Italy/Romano

Oncle Ludwig (Kapitän Bielschmidt's brother); Germany (Doitsu)

Katyusha; Ukraine

Toris; Lithuania

Natalya; Belarus

Eduard; Estonia

Ravis; Latvia

Kapitan Zima; General Winter

Lǜ Lóng(Green Dragon); China's boss

Kaoru; Hong Kong

Yong-Soo; South Korea

Kiku; Japan

Vash Zwingli; Switzerland

Liliya Zwingli; Liechtenstein

Egyptian boatswain (Gupta); Egypt

Sadik; Turkey

Sleepy Greek (Herkales); Greece

I don't own Hetalia, any brand of Vodka, or Hello Kitty. I apologise to anyone: offended by Yao being referred to as a Chink, offended by Ivan's maybe-over-the-top Russian accent, annoyed by Yao's genderbending, annoyed by the ridiculously long A/N, and to anyone else who may be annoyed/offended/upset for any other reason

This is the longest one-shot (and A/N) I have written so far

-Laurel Silver