A/N: Alright, it's finally here - the end. I never thought I'd make it.

To be honest, this is the hardest story I've written. There are so many parts of my childhood and adulthood in here. While I was writing this, this past winter, I lost my grandmother and an uncle, so it got very very real. Writing it was cathartic, but also really challenging. In so many ways I hate this story, but it's probably because of how much of me I put in there. Anyway, it's been a different experience, and I like that. I like that I tried this type of story despite not always being happy with where it went. And I know now that the important thing was that I wrote it for me first. You guys enjoying it has been a bonus.

So I hope you like this epilogue too.


It was almost time for the first snowfall of the winter. Andy was thinking, now, another sweater under her jacket would have been a good idea, but it was far too late, and they'd be in the warmth of the truck cab soon enough. Maybe not soon enough... but soon.

She crosses her arms over her chest as she continues to make her way across the grass, admiring the more elaborate tombstones. Just off in front of her, Sam and Charlotte are sitting on a bench, in front of Jenny's grave. It's that time of year. The anniversary of her death. It's surprising, how many of Charlotte's memories faded. How she didn't remember the funeral anymore, or what Andy's old condo looked like. She vaguely remembers meeting Sam for the first time.

But mostly, at seven years old, this is the family she's always known. She remembers Jenny, and loves Jenny. Like all things, the pain ebbed and has been washed away. Charlotte tells Andy quite often that she's blessed to have had two loving mothers. She's still as optimistic as ever, for someone who lost so much, so young.

So she's resting her head on Sam's shoulder, probably talking to Sam, or to Jenny. While none of them practice faith, Andy's educated her about God, and prayer, and how cathartic it can be. She tends to speak to the world though, to any greater being/power/force, just to cover all her bases, hoping her mother and grandfather are listening.

And that thought ties itself up as Andy stops in front of a very familiar, large, grey slab. 'Thomas James McNally' etched on its front.

"Hi Daddy." She smiles, already a little watery, as she tucks the tail of her jacket under her butt, and bends her legs to sit cross legged in front of him.


Sam never really officially moved into their house. His stuff just kind of accumulated, and was eventually considered "theirs". While redecorating the master, or overhauling the kitchen, Andy never made any decisions without Sam, and it was more or less understood that when the time came, the house would be theirs as well.

One morning, Charlotte was wide awake before they were. It was uncommon, not unheard of. What was unheard of, was what she was calling throughout the empty house.

"Dad-eeee. I'm wake." She sang sleepily from down the hall.

Andy was still half asleep, unwilling to move beside Sam. And Sam... that cry had him wide awake, heart beating out of his chest.

He got out of the bed quickly, hoping to get there well before she called him again. He was already afraid that his smile would split his jaw.

He opened her bedroom door slowly, to see her still in the dark, hiding under her covers.

"Daddy, turn on the big light please?" She asked, voice muffled under all the blankets.

Sam chuckled, thinking maybe she wasn't ready to try sleeping without a night light just yet. Every morning was like this. Charlotte was scared of the dark still, and thought that leaving the comfort of her bed would leave her vulnerable to monsters. That she wouldn't be able to turn the light on fast enough.

"Okay princess." He smiled, flicking it on, and walking over to her bed, where her head of blond waves was finally popping out. "You want to come to the big bed for a little bit? Wait for Mommy to wake up?"

"Yes puh-lease." She said nicely, nodding big.

He scooped her up under her arms, and pulled her to rest against his front as he walked her out of the room.


"We've been missing you, you know that though." She laughs, looking down at her lap for a second.

She was trying to do what Charlotte does, she was trying to get everything off of her chest, but she couldn't shake the feeling of foolishness. It wasn't, and there was no one listening. She supposed she just needs to find a rhythm.

"Charlie's getting so tall so fast. She's a little twig. Hardly puts on any weight. Kinda like me, when I was her age."

Her fingers are laced tightly together, pulling and flexing against one another, trying to expel the tension from her body.

"I really wish you were here. I always do. But, things are really gonna change around here, fast."

She didn't know what it was that was unravelling. Something she'd been holding onto or something new, but she knew now that she'd gotten going, she was going to find out.

"I'm pregnant, Dad. And I'm really, really scared." She admits, drawing one knee tighter to her chest.

She drops her forehead to her knee, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I really wish you were here to help us... to help me.

Sam, he's ready. We've been ready. But now that it's happening, I'm just worried all the time, about everything. We've already got Charlotte, and I know, some people would say that that was harder, but she came to me talking and walking and smart. I got really lucky. But what if I screw this up?"

She knew that somewhere deep down, everything would be okay. That she and Sam weren't supposed to know everything, and that it would take time and making mistakes to learn to be better. Rationally, she knew she had a lot of friends she could talk to, ask advice from.

She's had to give up a lot of things she looked forward to her father being there to see... this, her wedding. She needed him.


She was about to walk down the aisle. Traci was fusing over the skirt of her dress, aligning her train. Gail was negotiating with Charlotte, telling her that if she could put on her best smile-y face for the next twenty minutes, Uncle Dov would provide pony rides the whole afternoon, her personal source of transportation. And Oliver was waiting by the door, ready to be her steady arm leading her to her future.

She was twisting around, trying to tell Traci everything was fine, that it was time, when Oliver tapped her on the shoulder, offering his cell phone.

She was confused, but took it, putting it up to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

She exhaled, simultaneously laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"What's going on, you couldn't wait two minutes?"

"I just wanted to talk to you first. I'm not breaking any rules."

"That's a first." She grinned, finally feeling like she could breath normally. Remembering that this day wasn't about the seating chart or the music... it was about them.

"I know you wish he was here, Sweetheart. He'd want to be, too. He'd want to give me one last hard handshake, and he'd say 'Swarek, you take care of my little girl like you've been doing - nothing but the best for her'. And I'd say 'Tommy, you're breaking my fingers'."

She chuckled, trying to keep her smile contained so the tears wouldn't spill over. Tears of laughter and sadness, but mostly of gratitude. Gratitude to Sam, for knowing her like no one else.

"And he'd give a long speech, focusing on every achievement of yours, from spelling bees and track events to being the best shot in the division."

"Sam..."

"I know. But you've got the next best thing. My best man, he's a pretty good dad too. And he loves you. He wants to be able to be the best substitute he can. And I know no one can fill his shoes... but Tommy wouldn't mind. It's okay for you to smile today, and to forget for a little while. It's gonna be okay."

"Okay. I love you." She said, trying to regain some composure.

"I know. And soon enough you won't be able to get rid of me. Ball 'n' chain." He laughed from the other end of the line. "I'll see you in a minute."

"Try not to cry too much, smoky eyes." She teased.

"You too."

When he hung up, she returned the phone to Oliver, but not before wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in tight.

"Thank you for doing this."

"Of course, Kiddo."


Andy dares a glance over her shoulder, noticing that Sam was sitting on the bench so that he could sneak looks at her too. She smiles and waves before turning back but she's quiet for a bit, trying to voice how she's feeling, trying to find a happy denouement to this delivery of news.

"We don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. We haven't decided if we want to know. And we haven't even told Charlotte yet."

They've been talking about how to tell her. And actually, they had been discussing doing it tonight, but it seemed like maybe another day might be better. Andy always thought another day might be better. But then again, she'd always wanted a sibling herself. Charlotte wasn't exactly spoiled... but it'd been the three of them for so long.

"I think she'll be excited. She'll be a great big sister. The best." She smiles, unlocking her fingers and placing her hands behind her, palms on the damp grass, arms hyper-extended to hold her up. "I remember how I used to beg you and mom for a big brother. It didn't matter that it was impossible. I wanted one. Like Matt from 'Seventh Heaven'. I wanted a way older brother..."

She feels light now. She remembers what it was like to have to play by yourself. And even though the gap is large, Charlotte will be so glad not to be the only one.

Andy looks back again, seeing Charlotte pop up off the bench and brush off her skirt, and Sam slowly stretch next to her, squeezing the back of her neck as she tries to run off ahead.

"I guess, I just wish I could hear you tell me 'it'll all work itself out' for the millionth time. It used to drive me crazy when I was a kid, because I knew you couldn't possibly know that. But... just hearing it... I guess it did help. So, I'll just tell myself now. It'll all work itself out."

If she just kept saying it, it'd be true.

She began to push herself up off the ground, realizing now that her ass was freezing and her circulation cut off in half of her extremities. After she reached full height, she took a step back and admired how well kept his plot looked. She grabbed the flowers she'd left a few feet away and rested them against the marble, making sure they looked pristine.

"Mommy?"

She turns to see Charlotte waiting for her patiently, and when she smiled, Charlie came closer, tucking herself into Andy's side, hugging her waist tightly.

They stand there for a moment, silently, just hugging each other for warmth and comfort. Charlotte sighs contently and eventually pulls away, despite Andy's protests.

"Bye Grandpa. We'll be back soon." She says quietly.

They begin walking away slowly together, arms still winding around one another, making it somewhat difficult to walk straight, comfortably.

Andy searches the cemetery for Sam, looking to the bench where the two of them had just been, but sees nothing. She's about to get a little panicked, but Charlotte pulls her sleeve and points her in the right direction, a few rows closer to the entrance. Where they'd stood six years ago, at Jerry's burial.

Charlotte seems like she's going to call out for him or go to him, but Andy places a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from shooting forward. She smoothes a hand over Charlottes blond, French braided pigtails, and takes a tentative step forward, trying to stay quiet, not spook Sam.

As she steps up behind him, he clears his throat, obviously dismissing whatever grief he'd been allowing to show through. Andy knocked her forehead against his shoulder, leaning into him in support.

"Do you want a few minutes? I can get her in the truck and get the heat going." She offers, thinking maybe she should have just done that to begin with.

"No, no, I'm good. Just thought I'd stop by."

"Of course." Andy nods, checking out that his place is proper as well.

Neither of them hear Charlotte come up behind them, but suddenly she's crouched in front of Jerry's stone, laying down a lily from Jenny's bouquet.

Andy had asked Sam if he wanted one to leave for Jerry, but he brushed it off, saying that that'd be the day.

"I can hear him now, rolling around where ever he is, cackling about me bringing him flowers. I don't think so."

But their sweet girl doesn't care. She just knows that this is someone they loved, and he needs the right fixings too.

Sam pulls her back by the shoulder, until her back is against him and he places a kiss on top of her head.

"Thanks, Kiddo."

"You're welcome Daddy."

One more minute, reading and reading the headstone before Sam finally tells them it's time to go. That his fingers are freezing.

And soon enough Andy's teasing him about not leaving a spare pair of gloves in the truck like she always tells him to. Sam reminds her that she'd be the one to use them and forget to put them back, making it useless for him. Charlotte laughs at every exchange and doesn't pick a side, just sits back and observes her parents.

But by the time they're all buckling up and deciding on a radio station, Andy feels soft and happy, and she gives her husband a genuine smile. She squeezes his hand tightly over the console and checks to make sure that Charlotte is still all set to go in the back as Sam begins to put the truck in drive and pull out.

"We should have a family meeting when we get home." Andy hears herself saying, trying to sound casual.

"Nooo." Charlotte groans in the backseat, probably thinking it'll be about taking pictures for a Christmas card, or some other whacky idea she's cooking up.

"Yeah, noooo." Sam mimics, not helping her delegate.

"Yeeeessss." She mockingly whines back, shutting the two of them up as they exchange smiles in the rear view mirror. "We have some news, Charlie. It's important. So we'll get out the blankets and snacks and movies, and we'll talk. And then a movie night. How about that?"

"That's a pretty good deal." Sam reasons, trying to help Andy's case. Now that he knows where it's headed.

"Okay. But only if we watch Toy Story first."

"Deal."

"Deal."

Once they all agree, they listen to the choppy radio and look out of their respective windows.

Andy remembers where she was before this roller coaster ride began. And even though she lost so much along the way, she was glad to finally have this. This sense of home, family... belonging.

Her hand grazes her stomach, just for a moment. And she releases a deep and certain breath.

One life ends, another begins.