This is it the final chapter! Wasn't really sure where else to take it so I decided to bring it to and end, hope you enjoyed it!
Even though Regina was so close to her Emma felt so far away, she was constantly waking up and now it was 3am and she couldn't get back to sleep. Emma wrapped Regina's stray arms back around herself and moved in closer to feel the comfort of her girlfriends touch.
Another hour had past and Emma still had no luck in sleeping, she turned over several times and moved around to try and get comfy. "Are you going to sleep some time tonight?" The voice that came from Regina was weak and breaking, she seemed tired.
"Oh I'm so sorry. I tried my best not to wake you, I just cant sleep" Emma took Regina's hand which was placed around her waist and drew circles over it with her finger.
"It's okay... You woke me a few hours ago as well but I mist have fallen back to sleep." Regina gave out a big yawn and stretched her body out before retracting back into the position she was in and snuggling her face into Emma's neck. "Why can't you sleep?" She kissed Emma's neck.
"I'm sorry honey, I'm a fidget you would have been more comfortable at home. And I don't know... I can't stop thinking?" Emma was still tracing patterns on Regina's hand moving up her wrist.
"I wouldn't have slept at all on my own, I'm glad I'm here. Are you thinking about tomorrow? It will be okay I promise! I'll be there the whole time!" Regina kissed Emma's neck once again leaving her head in that position. She pulled her arms tight round Emma and held onto her "oo I forgot that you were naked now I'm glad I woke up!"
"Don't start something that we can't finish! You know how much I want you..." Emma quietly laughed and pulled Regina's hand onto her breast "thats all you're getting! And yea... I think thats why I'm not sleeping. What if he calls me crazy or tries to have me committed?"
Regina squeezed Emma's breast and kissed her shoulder "tease! And I know exactly how I make you feel!" Regina slid her free hand along Emma's body, grazing over her naval and pushed it between her legs sliding two fingers along the crease of her sex, "are you always wet?" Regina giggled to herself and moved her hand away.
"Seriously? You're seriously going to run your hands over me like that and pull away?! You're so frustrating!" Emma's voice jerked slightly as she thought about Regina's hand sliding over her.
"I know, I'm sorry I couldn't help myself... It's like my hands just drawn there! And Em don't worry about tomorrow, you're not crazy! Tomorrows just an informal chat! Just to talk about you, don't worry baby!" Regina squeezed hold of her trying to reassure her that everything would be okay.
"I know! I'm so god damn sexy no one can keep their hands off of me! And are you sure? Okay I feel a little better now!... Apart from this newly found sexual frustration!"
"Oh Emma you do make me laugh! And okay tomorrow after your appointment how about we have some fun? And I promise that it will go well! Now go back to sleep before I make you"
" make me? That sounds tempting... Okay fun like yesterday with cream?! I liked that! Goodnight Gina I love you" Emma turned and kissed Regina on the lips.
"Yes! Make you! But I hurt you, I don't know... We'll talk about that tomorrow! Something special though! Night, I love you too!"
...
"Emma do you want me to drive?" Regina said as they walked out of the door to go to Dr Hoppers.
"You can drive if you want? I don't actually know where his office is!"
"Okay thats fine, jump in baby!" Regina opened the passenger door for Emma and then walked round the front of the car.
Emma didn't say anything on the way to Dr Hoppers, the drive felt like hours. "Emma we're here... Are you okay sweetie?" Regina placed her hand on top of hers and squeezed it tight.
Without saying a word Emma stepped out of the car and walked towards Dr Hopper's office. She placed her hand on the handle of the office and froze, her breathing became more erratic and her heart started palpitating. "Why is this so hard" she whispered, Regina just heard her speaking however had no idea what she had said.
"Calm down baby, it's just Dr Hopper, he's a friend. No one in this room will judge what you have to say, you just have to be honest with everything. He will help you! Come on open the door?" Regina placed her hand on Emma's shoulder trying to cal, her, she could feel how fast her heart was beating.
Emma took a deep breath and walked into the office, she looked around the room and walked towards the black leather chair, "Hello Emma, I'm happy to see you. Take a seat and we'll talk, Regina are you staying or would you like to wait outside?"
"Hi Dr Hopper, no I want her to stay if thats okay?" Emma sat down and looked towards Regina, she was truly scared, she needed her there.
"Thats great, take a seat Regina!" Dr Hopper motioned for Regina to take a seat next to Emma and picked up a note pad.
Regina lent over to Emma and whispered in her ear "I'm here for you throughout this baby but I'm not going to say anything, this is between you and Dr Hopper. Be honest with how you feel he will really help" Emma nodded and took Regina's hand tight in her grip.
"Right, so Emma! What can I do you for? Regina didn't say a lot over the phone?"
"Um, this is really hard for me doc, I've been really struggling lately with some issues" emma looked towards the ground and started to jiggle her leg, allowing her nerve to show.
"Right, okay. So tell me how you feel in yourself? Do you feel low lately? What issues have you been having?" Dr Hopper picked up his pen and hung it over his notepad.
"Um, I feel... I feel down all the time. It's like I'm outside on a bright hot sunny day but I'm trapped inside of a bubble of darkness... I can't explain it I feel trapped..." Regina had no idea that, that was how she felt. "I've never felt so low. One week ago, I... I tried to... I hurt myself really bad, the worst I had ever done it. And it's the only time I've wanted to just give up."
Dr Hopper wrote a few things down on his pad, "You say that you tried to hurt yourself? Have you done this before?"
"Yes, I cut myself. And I've done it for five years" Regina placed her hand on Emma's leg trying to help her with her nerves.
"So what was different about last week? Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?"
"I don't deal well with change, it was after the curse. I had an argument with Regina and then went home and had an argument with Snow and David and all of the emotions together just... Just made me crack, I wanted to give up I didn't want to be here anymore. Yes I have suicidal thoughts."
"So all of this made you want to kill yourself last week? There must have been something that stopped you committing suicide, because you're here today!"
"Yes. Last week I.. I tried to kill myself. Nothing stopped me, I was laid on my bathroom floor bleeding out. And Regina found me. She saved my life." Regina's eyes filled with tears, she had to bite her tongue not to show emotions like this in Emma's time of need but, she tried to kill herself? Emma said that it was an accident.
"Have you thought about killing yourself since the incident?"
"I'm so sorry Regina. Yes. Yes I have, twice. I just, I don't know whats wrong with me. I use to take medication for my depression. But it stopped working? So I stopped."
"Right I see, so you've suffered with depression before?"
"Yea, my Doctor in New York diagnosed me after I ended up in hospital after a bad episode, they put me onto the mental ward for three weeks."
"So you've also been in a psychiatric hospital? Did you try to commit suicide? Emma, do you feel like this all the time? Or do you sometimes have moments of say mania where you're overly excited and happy to the point where anything can make you react in anger, say rage at something?"
"Yes, I tried to kill myself then. And I don't know... I think I'm always like this but then last night... I... I don't even remember it's like I snapped. I dropped a glass and then everything went dark the next thing I remember was being in Regina's arms..."
"Regina can you describe this behaviour to me?"
"Um well, I heard the glass drop. It smashed on the floor, then Emma started screaming. She dropped into the glass on the floor and hit the floor with her hands. She was covered in blood from the glass but she carried on swinging her arms hitting several things, I had to wrap my arms around her to stop her from hurting herself and then, the next minute she was fine?"
"Right I see. Emma I would like you to come back and see me tomorrow if thats okay? I believe that you may be dealing with a condition known as Bi-polar disorder and split personality disorder. I cannot be certain yet, I still need to diagnose several things however the evidence so far suggests Bi-polar disorder. This disorder is treatable, and it is likely that the medication you were taking for your depression has heightened the effect of the disorder, usually with Bi-polar disorder patients experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) mood states which interfere with the functions of ordinary life. This could explain what happened last night. However the results are inconclusive at the minute which is why I would like to see you again."
"Right... Okay so... So you're not going to commit me for being crazy?"
"No, not at all! However I'm very concerned about your self harm, what I would like to advise you to do is that, obviously if you both feel comfortable is to tell Regina each time you feel like relapsing, and every time you feel suicidal."
"Okay, okay I can do that. It's when I'm alone that I start to feel like that, but if it's okay with you Regina, I'll text you every time I feel like that. Talking to you calms me down." Regina nodded and smiled at Emma.
"Perfect, well thank you for coming Emma, I will see you same time tomorrow!" Dr hopper shook Emma and Regina's hands as they left.
"Bye doc" Emma said as she walked out of the door.
"Regina... I'm sorry that you had to hear some of that in there... I didn't want you to bother you with any of that" Emma stepped back into Regina's car.
"Emma promise me that if you ever feel that way you'll tell me! Don't be sorry I'm glad you told him!" Regina pulled her car out and started driving.
"I will I promise, when I'm alone later if I ever feel even a hint of anything at all I'll call you" Emma smiled at her girlfriend.
"You don't have to be alone you know? You can stay with me tonight if you want?" Regina pulled up outside of granny's and unbuckled her seatbelt.
"What are we doing at Granny's? And I don't know Regina, don't you want some time to yourself? I know I said I'm worse when I'm alone but I don't want you to start thinking that you have to watch me all the time so that I don't kill myself... I will be fine?" Emma also unbuckled her seatbelt.
"I thought you'd be hungry! It could be like... A date? I don't know! I said I'd treat you! And don't you want to stay with me anymore? It's nothing like that Emma, I really want to be with you. It's nothing to do with any of that! I love being with you Em! We can do anything!" Regina placed her hand on top of Emma's.
"You really just want me round then? No, I want to be with you all the time! I just don't want it to be you know... Like you're babysitting me? I don't mean that in offence but I want a relationship! And a date?.. Aw Geeny! That sounds lovely!" Emma smiled at Regina.
"Yes of course I do! I know its hard because I'm older than you, but I want you round because you're my girlfriend! And good, come on I'm starving!" Regina stepped out of the car motioning Emma to do the same.
"Regina it's not hard because you're older! Age means nothing, I love you!" Emma ran around the car and hooked her arm into Regina's before walking into granny's.
As they walked into Grannys everyone stopped. There was no sound in the place, just an awkward silent. This was the first time Regina had been around people properly since the curse had broken, and she also had her arm linked with Emma.
They walked towards a booth and sat down, "what do you fancy?" Regina said as she glanced at the menu.
"Hmmnn I might have a burger! I could just eat some meat! Yum yum!" Emma licked her lips making Regina laugh at her.
"I'm going to have a salad then!"
Ruby walked over to the table in perfect timing, "Emma, Regina, what are you guys doing here? How you doing Em?" Ruby gave a heartfelt smile at Emma and placed her hand on top of hers.
"We've just come to get something to eat, we had something to do so now we're hungry! And I'm okay Rubes, thanks for asking"
Ruby removed her hands and took hold of her notepad, "so what can I get you guys?"
"I will have a salad, and Emma would like a burger with some fries! Could we get two cokes too please Ruby?" Regina gave a warm smile at Ruby however inside she was quite angry at the fact that she had just taken her girlfriends hand, however she pushed all feelings aside knowing that she didn't mean anything by it.
"okay guys! It'll be here soon!" Ruby walked away.
"Thanks Rubes" Emma shouted as Ruby walked away. "I'm starving! I can't wait to eat this big fat burger! I can't believe you ordered grass!"
"I like to be healthy Emma and it is a salad, I'll have you know! Not 'grass' I'm no animal!"
"At least not outside the bedroom!" Emma started to laugh at her girlfriend as her jaw dropped wide open.
"Emma! Not here!" Regina winked playfully at her.
...
"I'm so full!" Emma dropped her fork onto her plate and lent back into her seat.
"Emma you haven't even finished it!" Regina said shaking her head towards her.
"That's the most I've eaten in a long long time! Do you want the rest?" Emma held her belly insinuating how full she felt.
"So you're offering me your scruffy left overs? Thanks but no thanks baby!" Regina laughed and took Emma's hand. "So, are you going to talk to Snow about Dr Hopper's?"
"What's wrong with that?! This foods good! And um I don't know! Do you think I should?" Emma traced her thumb over her palm in small circular motions.
"Do you want my honest opinion?"
"Yes of course I do!"
"Then I think you should tell her! She's been so kind and accepting with everything that she deserves to know!" Regina gave Emma a warm smile.
"Okay you're right! Can we go? And I can pick up a few things for yours too."
"Oh you wont need any clothes..." Regina winked at Emma "yes my love, we'll go now!"
"Cheeky! Well if you drop me off at my apartment I'll drive to yours later, I need a shower!" Emma slid out of the booth and walked towards Ruby. "Thanks Rubes it was great! How much was it?"
"Glad you enjoyed it! It was $20" Ruby smiled at Emma.
Regina reached for her purse and Emma out her hand out to stop her, "I've got it Gina!"
"Okay thank you! I'll go warm the car up!" Regina placed her hand on Emma's shoulder and stroked down the side of her arm.
"Here you go Rubes! Keep the change!" Emma smiled.
"I knew it!"
"Knew what?" Emma laughed.
"You and Regina! You're dating her! The way she just looked at you! Aw Em I'm so happy for you!" Ruby wrapped her arms around Emma and lifted her off of the ground slightly.
"Ruby shh... Just hold on a second! No one can know! Not yet!"
"Secrets safe with me baby!" Ruby kissed Emma on the cheek and gave her a swift hug before moving away quickly.
Emma stepped into the car and smiled to herself, "What are you so happy about?"
"We're good together! I really enjoyed that!"
"You're weird!" Regina laughed and then pulled her car out "so do you want me to drop you off?"
"Yes please if thats okay I need a shower, or you can come in and wait if you want? I wont be long I just need to talk to Snow too!" Emma placed her hand onto Regina's leg and squeezed slightly.
"Yes I'll wait for you, I have no where else to be! I'll put some of your things together if you want? I know where everything is!"
"Deal!"
They opened the door to the apartment and walked in, Snow was sat reading on the sofa. "Hey guys, did you have fun?"
"Yea we did thanks, will you just go get my things?" Emma looked at Regina and smiled
"Yes I'll go now!" Regina walked upstairs and out of sight of Emma and Snow.
Emma walked up to Snow and gave her a huge hug, she lent to one side and slid into the seat next to her, "thank you. For everything! I'm going to stay at Regina's tonight, I'll be back tomorrow! I was thinking maybe you and me could have a girly movie day? Or something! And also... I went to see Dr Hopper earlier..."
"Okay have fun at Regina's and oo Emma that sounds great! I'm so excited! Theres so much we could watch! We can have popcorn and sweets! And you did? I'm proud of you sweetie! What did he say?" Snow took hold of Emma's hand.
"Deal! It's a date! And well he wants me back tomorrow morning, then we can watch films obviously... But he thinks I have this thing called Bipolar disorder or something? But he needs to see me again... It went better than I expected. I really opened up yano!"
"Okay, I'm glad it went well! Then hopefully we can have you on the road to recovery in no time! What time will you be back tomorrow?"
Emma stood up and walked towards the bathroom "um about 12!" She opened the bathroom door when Snow shouted at her.
"I'm going to go see David now, will you lock up?" Snow stood up and put her coat on and walked towards the door.
"Oh are you? Okay and Snow, I don't want to sound awful but you can't tell him about any of this... Not just yet?" Emma stood in the doorway of the bathroom and started to take her jacket off.
"Don't worry Emma, I wont but you have to. When you're ready of course" Snow blew Emma a kiss and then left closing the door behind her.
Once Snow had gone Emma took her clothes off until she was just wearing her underwear and turned the shower on, while the water was heating up she walked into the kitchen and poured herself some water.
"Regina do you want a drink?" Emma shouted up the stairs.
"No thanks, I'm done up here now though" Regina made her way back down the stairs carrying Emma's bag in her hand. She looked at Emma who was stood in her underwear and smiled.
"What are you looking at!"
"You look so beautiful right now I could... Where's Snow?" Regina looked around the room almost forgetting for a second where she was.
Emma laughed at Regina's response, "don't worry baby she's gone out!"
"Oh, she has? Have you been for a shower yet?"
"Do I look wet?"
"Well you usually are!" Regina winked at Emma.
"Regina!..." Emma burst out laughing and walked into the bathroom leaving the door open, "you're so gross! I hate that word!"
"Which word? Wet? I love it! Wet, wet, wet!" Regina dropped Emma's bag onto the sofa "how long will you be anyway?"
"Ew! Stop it! It's embarrassing! And maybe ten, fifteen mins, I need to shave!" Emma stepped into the bathroom and took her underwear off, "you can come in if you want? You don't have to stand out there!"
"Okay then!" Emma jumped into the shower as Regina entered the bathroom and sat on the cupboard.
"So what do you fancy doing tonight?" Regina said raising her voice so that Emma could hear her speaking over the noise of the shower.
"I don't mind Gina, we could just get snuggled up or something? I like talking to you and stuff like that." Emma's body was a mere outline and shadow due ti the condensation clinging to the glass doors.
"That would be quite a pleasant night! I'm looking forward to it!"
"Gina can we pop to the shop on the way to yours? I want to get some alcohol... I think we should have some fun tonight! I want to get drunk!"
"Yes thats fine, but drunk? I don't get drunk Ms Swan!"
"Well you should! You're young live it up! I've never seen you drunk" Emma laughed to herself.
"Okay okay you've twisted my arm! We'll have a few drinks, I don't know if I shall be getting drunk though!" Regina shook her head.
"Yay! Regina Mills, having some fun? What is this?..." Emma laughed at her pun "baby will you just pass me my razor, it's in that cupboard I forgot to grab it!" Emma opened the shower door slightly and stuck her arm out.
Regina walked over to the cupboard and picked up Emma's razor, she walked over to Emma but was reluctant to give it too her, her slight hesitation didn't go unnoticed by Emma.
"Don't worry I said I just needed to shave!" Emma grabbed the razor off of her and closed the shower door.
"I know, sorry! And why do you need to shave? You seem pretty smooth to me!"
"I'm all prickly! Shut up" Emma laughed at Regina, as she was laughing the razor slipped down the front of her shin taking a lump of flesh out "Fuck!" Emma shouted at herself.
"Whats wrong?" Regina leaned forward unsure of what was wrong.
"You made me laugh!"
"What? You cussed because I made you laugh! Don't blame your language on me!" Regina grinned.
"No! You made me laugh and I slipped shaving stupid!" Emma laughed once again.
"Are you bleeding?"
"A little, it's okay I'll get a plaster! You would have thought I'd be fed up of blood after the last few weeks!"
"Emma..."
"Too soon? Okay! Chill out babe!" Emma turned off the shower, "don't look"
"What do you mean don't look! I've seen every angle of you!" Regina shook her head.
"Just don't look! This is different! I'm having a shower."
"Fine" Regina sighed, she closed her eyes and crossed her arms.
Emma stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel, "okay you can open your eyes, I'm decent! So what have you packed for me anyway? Should I trust your taste?" Emma winked at Regina.
"I've packed what you need! Cheeky!" Regina smiled and walked out the bathroom and moved towards the sofa "I'll wait here! Go get ready!"
"You don't have to wait here!" Emma started walking up the stairs.
"Well you're now shy all of a sudden! I'll just wait here!"
"You're so frustrating! Two minutes" Emma ran upstairs and slapped the tiniest amount of makeup on and pulled on some jeans and a jumper. She ran down the stairs towards Regina "ready!"
"Emma you're hairs soaking! Go dry it" Regina crossed her legs.
"It's fine, now come on lets go to the shop!" Emma grabbed her coat and chucked Regina her car keys.
"You'll catch your death!" Regina stood up and walked towards Emma.
"Don't worry, you can heat me up later!" Emma opened the door and gestured for Regina to go ahead of her, once Regina had left Emma closed the door and locked it, following Regina back to her car.