The Next Great Adventure or What Should have Happened?

CHALLENGE:

Challenge issued by "Reptilia28" - Originally on verbatim:

A funny little challenge I just came up with. It's a comical twist on the time-travel category.

STORYLINE:

*Harry is killed at 17 during a fight with Voldemort. He's sent to his Death's office (explained later) and finds out that this isn't the first time that this has happened.

*Harry's Death (who can have a human name) is mad at his arrival. Apparently, people dying before their time is a black mark on the various Deaths' records, and Harry is getting perilously close to getting this particular one fired.

*When Harry asks what was supposed to have happened, Death goes off on a rant saying how he was supposed to have killed Voldemort, found his soul mate ("Some Granger girl...") and lived to be a centennial age. But since Harry keeps getting into life-threatening situations for one reason or another, he keeps dying before that happens. Harry is surprised about the soul mate part.

*Death gives Harry a paper to sign that allows him to retain his memories (the previous times, he wasn't given this option for some reason). Harry is deposited to a previous time of the writer's choosing.

*Eventually, Harry gets it right. He kills Voldemort, gets the girl, and lives to a ripe old age of whatever. And Death doesn't get fired.

REQUIREMENTS:

*Harry had to have died at least three times before this one.

*The memory keeping contract must be included.

*Death must refer to Hermione as "some Granger girl" when Harry's soul mate turns up in his rant.

*Obviously, must be H/Hr.

*Have fun.

OPTIONAL:

*Dumbledore's manipulations can be a factor in Harry's premature demises.

Prolouge

Harry Potter walked out to meet Voldemort, hoping that with his death would finally end this horrible war. He walks toward a small clearing where Voldemort and his DeathEaters are camped at.

DeathEaters addressing Voldemort "No Sign of him, My Lord."

Voldemort comments offhandedly "I truly believed he would show up. Pity."

Harry steps out into the clearing and yells out "Here I am Tom."

Voldemort raises his wand at Harry Potter "You Insolent Boy dare speak that filthy name Avada Kadavra!" A green light shoots out of the elder wand and Harry Potter falls dead.

Harry Potter awakens in what appears to be a waiting room and walks over to the person sitting behind a desk and says hesitantly "uhh Excuse me, am I?"

The receptionist, who is a pretty blonde replies "Yes you are, take a number and I will let your reaper know that you are here. Name?"

Harry frowns somewhat and has questions going through his head, but answer the question "I am Harry Potter."

The receptionist does a double take almost as if she is aware of his fame in the wizarding world and says "Oh my goodness, wait right here, I will have to make a quick phone call to your reaper." picks up the phone and presses a few button and wait's a few seconds and the phone is answered "Hello Sally, HE is here again…" after the sound of yelling comes through the phone, the receptionist directs her attention back to Harry Potter and says "Your reaper will see you now. Through those doors, fourth office on the left."

Harry Potter casts a confused look before shrugging and walking through the doors and walks toward the office and goes inside and quickly ducks as a stapler comes flying at him "What the hell?"

Sally, who is a spunky brunette, her face flushed red with anger "SIX TIMES! DO YOU HATE ME HARRY?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME FIRED, CAUSE IF YOU DIE ONE LAST TIME THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN!" Sally takes a few breaths and calms down, "I suppose that it isn't really your fault. After all with Mister Albus Too Many Names to Name Dumbfuckinore greater good shit, and the Weasel greed, throw in the prophecy of a psychopath after you. Not to mention dementores, the tri-wizard tournament and everything in between, it is really something that you haven't died more. Let's recap on your life so far, Dumbles puts you in danger by allowing you to compete in the Tri-Wizard tournament, which he apologizes for, and then in your fifth year, he decides to protect you by ignoring you, when he should have armed you with knowledge. Sixth year, don't get me started on that so called special training that you had received. And then the horcurx hunt. I mean why, he had a whole organization dedicated to fighting Voldemort. Someone like Moody or Lupin and Tonks would have been instrumental to know about the Horcurxs. Then there is the Black Library, which by the way, has a very detailed account on a ritual that can locate and destroy all of the Horcurxs with just the destruction of one. Here is how it is going to be, you are going to go back to your fourth year, with your memories of the future intact, use the ritual to destory the didamn and all of the other damn horcruxs, get to the cup before Cedric, stun him if you have to, allow the rat to do the ritual and then break free of your binding and stun him, kill the dark tosser, take his body back for proof, take the rat back for Sirius's freedom, and for god sakes get with your soul mate, some granger girl, and live a long happy life till the age of a 150, where both you and your soul mate die, snuggled up in a warm bed together, can you do that please?"

Harry turns red and looks confused "Wait, Hermione is my soul mate, but I love Ginny.. And she loves Ron, there must be some kind of mistake."

Sally looks at Harry "I really should have expected this, look Ron and Molly have been giving you small doses of love potion since the summer before your fourth year. While Ginny was innocent to the plan, she had grew up, believing that she was destined to be the future Mrs. Potter. The short version is Ron got money from being Dumbledore's spy and he kept you from wanting to learn too much. He also wanted Hermione, so she was dosed with jealousy potions and other things as well. Molly wanted the money, and the status. Ron wanted the fame of being your best friend, the money for being dumbles spy, which came out of your account, and the one girl that you felt that you couldn't have because Ron had already called "dibs" with me so far there Harry?"

Harry recently nods his head "Yes, everything is starting to make sense, Why Molly held onto my vault key. Everything all makes perfect sense. Now you said something about going back? I need to do it and fix everything."

Sally smiles and passes a piece of paper to Harry "Just sign here, and you will go back to the day after your name came out of the goblet, but be warned, if you die again, you won't be able to go back. Now I will appear to give you some guidance from time to time, so don't freak out."

Harry Potter signs the document and he starts to light up before becoming see through.

Sally watches as he starts to disappear "Good Luck, Harry Potter, and please listen to Miss Granger, she is almost always right."