Let Me See

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.

This was written for Rebaforever who requested some Hotch/Strauss. New pairing for me, but willing to give anything a go – hope you like. It is set shortly after Strauss' return to the BAU after her rehab. Just before the end of series 7.

Inspiration for this was from the song "Beneath your Beautiful" by Labrinth and Emeli Sande (which is where the lyrics come from).

. . .

You've built your wall so high
That no one could climb it,
But I'm gonna try.

. . .

Sitting at the round table, his eyes rapidly scanned the room and finally settling on her. To the untrained eye it was easy to miss the tell tale signs but he knew them well. The slight stiffening of her spine, the nervous flick of her perfectly arranged hair, the rapid swallow as she averted her eyes from the pictorial information in front of them – each slight movement combined to let him know how uncomfortable she was feeling right now.

Hotch knew he should have been concentrating on Garcia's presentation of the most recent case. Luckily he was fully briefed and knew exactly what the case entailed as he couldn't help but watch her. Strauss had barely set foot in her office since she had returned a month or so ago. She had insisted that each meeting they had to ensure a smooth handover was held in his office. She had attended a week's worth of daily briefings, and now at the start of this week, she was sat in on the case presentation prior to them leaving to investigate.

Erin had never been this involved before her 'sabbatical' and not everyone was comfortable with her increased presence. Though he was sure it had little to do with the team's performance, and a lot to do with her wanting to make amends.

"So, my Intrepid Explorers, I hope you can once again save the day," Garcia said as a way of signing off from her delivery of information.

"It's obviously an organised killer," Morgan began, not intimidated by Strauss' participation in their meeting. He had seen a different side to her since she had returned which had made him proud of his involvement in her seeking rehab.

Reid continued, "The lack of forensic evidence on the bodies is very telling. The cleaning may be ritualistic - him wanting to cleanse them of sin, or it could purely be a forensic countermeasure. Either way, it makes identification of the UnSub near impossible."

"If it is a countermeasure," Rossi took over, "then it is possible our guy has something previous on record and doesn't want us to find a match. Given the nature of the torture inflicted on our victims, can you do a search for any locals with a history of animal abuse or a conviction for animal mutilation, please Garcia? He would have built up to this, learnt from his mistakes. Focus on crimes with a similar MO – the knife work is important to him."

"Right away," Garcia was tapping before she had the chance to speak.

"What I don't get," JJ interrupted, "is how he is abducting them. Other than the obvious cuts and the marks from the ropes they were bound with, there are no defensive wounds. All of our victims are mature professional women; they don't just 'go off' with someone - no matter how charming they are."

"Drugged?" Emily suggested. "It's easy enough to slip something into a drink when you are chatting. Alcohol is a killer's friend We all know the impact of one to many, your inhibitions drop then . . ."

Suddenly the room went silent at the sudden mention of the word alcohol. Immediately, Aaron noticed the flash of horror in her eyes, and then the mask of calm was returned. The awkward shifting of the team raised the tension as they waited for someone to say something to break the silence.

Seeing Erin search for appropriate words, Aaron stepped in. "Wheels up in 30 minutes, we'll continue the briefing on the jet."

Rapidly the majority of the team disappeared from the room. Rossi lingered until Aaron shot him a look.

"Thank you," Erin said dryly as she gathered the paperwork she had been handed at the beginning of the briefing.

"You're welcome."

"I would like to accompany the team on the case, but I am afraid I will be a distraction, going on this morning's proceedings."

Aaron's eyes questioned her comment without need of words.

"It is obvious the team don't know how they should react to me. At least prior to my rehab they knew to hate me. Now they seem confused between pity and panic."

Aaron put down the files he had gathered and took a step towards Erin before he checked himself. He felt he had gotten close to her during her imposed leave, yet now they were both back at work things had shifted. She seemed to be finding it difficult to settle back into her role. Neither of them seemed certain of the effect the past few months had had on their relationship. Right now the edges were blurred and it was plain neither liked the impact.

"Obviously it is your decision, but I feel it would be wise to join us once you have had more time to settle in."

"Are you suggesting I am not up to the job," Erin's eyebrow hitched, daring him to confirm her suspicions.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he recognised the dare in her voice, there was still the spirit of the woman he knew underneath it all.

"No. I am suggesting that the team isn't ready for your direct input. Yet."

Now it was Erin's turn to smile. "Protecting your team from me as always, Aaron? I have to admire your loyalty. I am glad that I have been able to appreciate a small sample of that for myself."

"Erin, I really must go, but rest assured you do still have my upmost loyalty."

She nodded. "Recent events have made that abundantly clear."

The two stood in silence, both having so much more to say but both knew this was neither the time nor the place.

"You had better go," Erin finally said, stepping past Aaron. "I wouldn't want you to be late for the flight. Especially one with Rossi on it; he needs very little to feed his imagination."

Aaron nodded, gathering his things and leaving to join his team.