(These are the words you will never tell her.)

Her mouth quirks upwards into a sly grin, intricate plots involving high heels, lipstick and sickly sweet artificial scents being weaved in her head.

"It's the only way," she says, the giggling leaving you less than convinced.

"Come on, hurry!" she says, her hand grasping your own tightly.

"Let's go, Cloud!" she says, so warm and full of determination.

She pulls and pushes (teasing, but never cruel) and slowly you find yourself irresistibly drawn into constant orbit.

You think it might be love at first forced crossdressing to save a beloved friend, but your ego has taken too much of a battering today to admit that to her, hasn't it?

***

(These are the words you will never understand.)

"I know, I know... what I mean is...I want to meet... you."

You are safe and warm in your bed when the memories of neon lights and fireworks wash over you once more.

She likes me? She wants me?

You say these words in your heart, a devotional against the isolation that you have felt since you were small-that one true part of your childhood that remains with you in the blur and haze of alien memories.

You almost believe them to be true.

***

"I liked you a lot."

A pause. It was hard enough to say that, to admit that, to show that small chip in your armor built out of imagination and someone else's achievements, but it's still a lie, isn't it?

"No...I-love you."

Each syllable is strained and awkward, but her smile never changes.

Her smile will never change again after all.

You let her slip through your hands once more.

(These are the words you will never be able to tell her.)

***

Aerith always was the kind of person to believe in second chances.

She is your Polaris, polarity incarnate-loving and kind and fierce and unyielding, all curves and sharp edges that only a life raised in the slums of Midgar can give you. She is everything you are not and you love her steadfastly even if you could not ever properly communicate that feeling in words.

As sailors have looked to the stars for direction, you only need look to that image of her in your head-ever bright, everlasting.

"I think i can meet her...there."

You go and your heart sings of love and a flower girl.

(These are the words she already knows.)