Disclaimer: I do not own the Fairy Tail series or any of the characters.

Summary: Someone is NOT happy about the current state of affairs. A rather unique perspective on the events of chapter 334. SPOILERS! You have been warned.

Artistic License

"What the fuck!?"

The buzz of conversation in the Fairy Tail guild hall dropped into silence as the outraged shout rang out. The source of the commotion was brandishing a publication in his hand, looking irate.

"What new kind of bullshit is this!?" Gray Fullbuster demanded, shaking the manga violently. "They killed me!"

"I told you we should have warned him," Lucy murmured to Erza, shaking her head.

"I knew we shouldn't trust that manga guy," Gray continued to rage. He kicked over a chair and then pointed abruptly at Master Makarov. "This is your fault! The gift shop, the magazine spreads, the outdoor café, the water park... I could understand all of that. But you just had to license a manga about us!"

"We needed the money," Makarov defended. "Between the cost of getting the old guild hall back from the bank, and all the repairs it needed after sitting empty for so long, not to mention all of the destruction you children cause wherever you go... our winnings from the Grand Magic Games weren't nearly enough. Someone has to pay the bills, you know!"

"They've killed me!" Gray yelled, ripping off his shirt in his agitation. "How can they do that? It's been a year since we fought crazy-future-Rogue and the dragons, and people know that I'm still alive. They've seen me walking around and going on jobs! How can they justify killing me off?"

"Well, you probably should have seen it coming," Levy commented without lifting her face from her own copy of the manga's latest issue. "You're the one who got greedy and tried to renegotiate the contract that lets them use your name and likeness. I think this is the publisher's idea of firing a warning shot at you."

"A warning shot is not supposed to be fired through the target's head!" Gray shouted back. "I won't even be an attractive corpse!"

"Actually, I find that panel extremely suspicious," Cana noted, frowning. "It's so over-the-top, like they're trying to remove all doubt that you're dead. Why would they do that so close to the end of a chapter? The artist seems to love cliffhangers, and he just totally passed up the opportunity to leave the readers in suspense."

Levy hummed in agreement. "For what it's worth, Gray, I'm not convinced you'll be staying dead. Your death was way too lame."

"Oooh... you think they'll pull another deus-ex-machina?" Lucy chimed in, her eyes lighting up.

"Obviously," Levy replied. "When have they ever not done that? And there's already time travel involved. So many plot holes..."

"What do you mean, my death was lame?" Gray demanded. "I died a hero!"

"Pffft!" Natsu fell over, laughing. "A hero? You got killed by low-powered, nameless drones, with a grand total of five pages of face-time in that entire battle. You literally show up just long enough to die. And you didn't even do any fighting."

"Even Sting's cat got a more interesting death," Erza agreed. "And even then, it wasn't permanent."

"I saved Juvia, at least," Gray defended. "Doesn't that count for something?"

Juvia wrinkled her nose. "Juvia's body is water. Aside from magic that water is inherently weak against, like freezing or electricity or Erza-san's Sea Empress armour, since when has Juvia ever needed to be rescued from physical attacks?"

Gray blinked, considering this.

"Oh God, I did get a lame death!" he wailed, throwing his pants across the room. "Why is this happening to me?"

"Calm down," Levy ordered, looking annoyed by the continued interruption of her reading time. "Like I said, you probably won't stay dead. Why would they kill off a main character so pointlessly? It's like, 'Oh, by the way, Gray's dead. Kay, thanks, bye!'. I wouldn't be surprised if a whole bunch of us die to make the situation seem more dire, and then somehow everything gets fixed and we all get brought back to life. Remember my character's future self when she was writing that letter and mentioning all the guild members who died in her past? Without actually naming names, of course. Maybe it was foreshadowing."

"Hey, maybe Gajeel will get a lame death, too, then." Lucy said. "I remember when future-Levy is listing names, she says something like 'blank name, who I loved, also died'. I still don't know why they've set up Gajeel as your love interest, though, Levy."

"I'm as baffled as you are," Levy answered. "I guess that's the downside of letting them make a manga about the guild but not allowing them to pry too deeply into our personal lives. They can make up whatever they like about us. But come on, does no one remember that Gajeel beat the crap out of me? How is that relationship even a little realistic?"

Gajeel smirked. "Who cares? It makes my character about ten times more popular. Apparently, I'm so badass that they had to give me two 'lovely items', a girl and a cat. Gihee!"

"What's a 'lovely item'?" asked Jet.

"Oh, it's an Ouran High reference, but you see the concept elsewhere quite frequently," explained Mirajane. "It's basically when an intimidating character is linked with a cute, helpless person, or a pet or something adorable like that, which shows that the scary character actually has a heart, and instantly makes him highly appealing to fan girls. Like Sesshoumaru and Rin in the Inuyasha series."

Gajeel grinned shamelessly, and Levy glowered behind her manga.

"Why don't I have a 'lovely item'?" Laxus wondered.

"I think Mavis might be your 'lovely item'," said Bixlow (as his babies chimed, "Lovely item! Lovely! So cute!"). "I can't figure out any other excuse for her to be hanging around."

"I want a 'lovely item'," Erza said forlornly.

"You need one," muttered Cana.

"They've really taken a lot of artistic license with both the plot and our characters," Levy said. "It's gotten to the point where nothing surprises me anymore."

"To be fair, they have no choice but to be creative with the plot," commented Macao. "Half of the things our guild gets up to involve a lot secret information that the public can't find out about. And honestly, even if people knew the truth, who would believe it?"

"Like the Nirvana incident," Lucy pointed out. "The Magic Council wouldn't want people to know what really happened there. At least they got the basics of Tenrou Island correct, except that we were only gone for three years, not seven. What's with all the sevens, anyway?"

"Actually, if you pay attention to the dates they give, it's only a little over six years, not seven," Wakaba commented. "It drives me crazy every time they say it was seven years. They don't even have their own math correct."

"Maybe they picked seven years so they could age Romeo up enough to be a future love interest for Wendy," Mirajane mused.

"Girls are gross," ten-year-old Romeo announced solemnly.

Fourteen-year-old Wendy grimaced. "Missing out on three years was bad enough. Tenrou Island ruined everything. I'm supposed to be nearly the same age as Sting and Rogue."

She slumped in her seat, sulking. "I could be dating by now, if not for that stupid spell. I could be dating Sting. Have you seen his abs?"

All of the girls nodded in commiseration. Poor Wendy.

"I don't know why Gray's so worried about dying," said a ferocious-looking white tiger that had been napping in a corner of the room until Gray's shout had woken it up. "I was dead for 200 chapters, and I wound up being totally fine. I wish they didn't make my powers so utterly wimpy, though."

"Now, Lisanna, no one outside the guild is supposed to know what your powers are actually like," Mirajane soothed her sister. "And since no one knows that you're secretly an S-class mage, they had to come up with some reason why you were missing during those years when you were actually with Gildarts on his 100-year quest."

Lisanna transformed into her human form and went behind the bar to pour herself a saucer of milk. "Still, that whole Edoras arc was the weirdest thing they've ever come up with," she said. "What's this obsession with flying, talking cats? It was bad enough when they invented Happy. I don't know what they were smoking."

"I guess every manga needs a talking animal," said Lucy.

"The manga stays quite truthful in its depiction of how the Grand Magic Games actually went," said Freed. "Although since those events are so well known to the public, and occurred only a year ago, I supposed the manga would have to maintain some accuracy there. Few people are aware of exactly what happened afterwards, so the manga can invent whatever it likes to explain what happened with those dragons."

"I guess that's fair enough, since I'm not sure that even I understand what happened, despite the fact that I was there," said Laxus.

They all nodded in agreement. To this day, no one was entirely sure of how they had gotten themselves out of that mess, but the same could be said of most situations they wound up getting involved with. They were kind of used to it, by now.

"I don't really care how much they play with the plot," Elfman commented. "It's what they've done with our characters that bothers me."

"Yeah, it's just not 'manly'," teased Evergreen, smirking at him.

"I never want to hear that word again," Elfman groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

"I think they got my character pretty close," Natsu said. "I don't mind when they make me look stupider than normal, because they let me be a total badass the rest of the time. And it's even better when they come up with something like chapter 331. That was great!"

Lucy wrapped one arm protectively around her chest and used the other to punch Natsu in the face. "I hate that chapter! Why do I always wind up naked?" she wailed. "Isn't that Gray's thing?"

Gray opened his mouth to protest, realized that he was halfway through the process of taking off his boxers, and hurriedly pulled them back up again.

Natsu picked himself up off the floor and gave Lucy a predatory grin. He seized her and flung her over his shoulder, and she didn't struggle. They disappeared into a back room. No one was surprised.

"I don't know why the manga hasn't made those two hurry up and kiss, already," Lisanna commented. "It's a lot tamer than what they actually get up to. And I wish my character wouldn't keep getting dragged into some sort of love triangle. It's just awkward."

"The manga makes Juvia seem so weak," Juvia complained. "Juvia is not a stalker, or a fan girl. And they've completely misinterpreted Juvia's friendship with Gray-sama."

"It's probably because no one understands why you call him Gray-sama," Cana pointed out.

Juvia sighed wearily. "Juvia will never make a drunken bet again," she swore.

"But I agree that they totally butchered your character," Cana continued. "And I don't know how they missed the fact that you and Gajeel have been screwing each other since your Phantom Lord days. I thought everyone knew."

Juvia gave Gajeel, on whose lap she was perched, a coy look. He answered it with a smirk.

"We bribed them to keep their noses out of our business," Gajeel revealed smugly.

"And it doesn't bother you at all that they have Juvia panting after Gray all the time?" Evergreen asked.

"Nah," Gajeel answered, still smirking at Juvia. "I don't give a shit. And besides, in the next chapter we'll probably get to see berserker-Juvia again, like when she fought that Meredy chick they invented for the Tenrou Island arc. It's always so fucking hot when Juvia loses it! Even hotter in real life, though."

Everyone tried to ignore the way the two mages were looking at each other, because it felt indecent just to be in the same room with them. They were practically eye-fucking each other.

"They did a good job with your character, Cana," Macao said. "Even if they exaggerate the amount of booze you can drink."

"I charge fifteen barrels of beer to the Council's account one time, and no one lets me forget it," Cana reflected ruefully. "Even I can't drink that much at once. Still, that was a great party."

"My character is fairly accurate," Erza said. "In fact, it worries me that they managed to find out so much." She furrowed her brow. "And they are eerily close to the truth in their guesses concerning Jellal. It was very inconvenient to have the Council watch me so closely while he was still a fugitive. I'm certain they did it because of the manga's suggestions that we were in contact with each other."

"Well, they weren't wrong about that," Jellal admitted, smiling.

"They destroyed my image," Droy sulked. "I know I'm a little stockier now than I was a few years ago, but I was pretty skinny to begin with, and I'm certainly not morbidly obese! Are they trying to make me develop an eating disorder or something?"

"It could always be worse," Max said dully, throwing a baleful look towards the closet that housed the cleaning supplies.

Everyone shuddered. Yes, no one could deny that Max had it worse than anyone.

"Man, what did you do to them?" Jet wondered, but Max just shook his head and gulped down some whiskey. Being paired with a broom would drive anyone to drink.

"Well, they got a few things right, even if their timeline is a little off," Alzack commented, smiling at his wife.

Bisca beamed back. "We're having a baby!" she announced.

"Congratulations!"

"A boy or a girl?"

"Have you picked any names?"

"Well, if it's a girl," Alzack said, "we're thinking of combining our names and calling her Asuka."

Silence.

"Just kidding!" Alzack laughed, and they all joined in.

A party began, and Gajeel grabbed his guitar, and Mirajane started serving drinks. Natsu and Lucy emerged from their hiding place (looking dishevelled and flushed) to congratulate their guild mates, but disappeared again shortly after. The place started to get rowdy, which was just the way they all liked it.

The manga had gotten a few things right about Fairy Tail. Not just their constant parties and their frequent brawls, or their reputation for causing extreme property damage, but also the bonds they shared, and the way they lived each day to the fullest.

That was the essence of Fairy Tail. The manga had captured it pretty well.

Amidst the celebrations, however, one person was still looking troubled.

"Gray, I wouldn't worry, if I was you," Levy said kindly. "I'm sure everything will work out just fine. This is Fairy Tail, after all!"

"You think so?" Gray asked hopefully.

"Sure. Even the bad guys rarely die. When have any of the good guys ever stayed dead?"

"Simon," Erza supplied immediately from the next table over, where she sat with Jellal. Jellal winced.

"Personally, I think they'll use Ultear to set things right," Levy continued, ignoring Erza's input. "There has to be a reason for her to suddenly have such a big presence in this chapter. I really think she's about to do something important to fix everything. Maybe some forbidden spell that allows her Arc of Time magic to affect living creatures. It'll probably be pretty dramatic, because Lost Magic exacts a high price when it is misused, like what happened to Azuma when he overused his Great Tree Arc magic. It's strange, though..."

"What's strange?" Gray asked.

Levy looked thoughtful. "You said before that you're sure Ur never mentioned having a daughter?"

"Yeah, I even asked Lyon if he knew anything, and he said he never heard of Ur having any kids," confirmed Gray.

"And Jellal, you've never heard of Ultear, either?" Levy asked. "Or anyone named Meredy?"

"To my knowledge, no such persons exist," Jellal agreed.

"That's what confuses me," Levy said. "This Ultear character especially... She has such a huge influence throughout the whole manga, from the very beginning. Half of the events have been manipulated by her in one way or another. It's just so strange for them to invent such a powerful background character. Why would they bother?"

::oo::oo::oo::

The famous manga artist put the final touches on the last panel of the Fairy Tail manga's upcoming issue, then stood and stretched. Tomorrow morning, he would deliver it to the publisher, and the cycle of drawing and deadlines would begin again, but for now, he was going to get some sleep.

Crossing the room, he paused in front of the mirror, studying himself. A fairly average-looking, dark haired man in his thirties stared back at him.

It had been such a long time since he'd seen anything else in the mirror.

Taking a breath, he lifted his hand toward his face, and waved it as if brushing aside a curtain... and the transformation dissolved.

The pink-haired young woman examined her reflection. She'd worn her disguise for so long that it was a shock to see her true appearance looking back at her. She'd learned transformation magic in order to hide her face from the world. It was a face etched with grief and loneliness, aged before its time.

She had once known another who had been prematurely aged in a similar way, but not by the same forces. That face had been subtly ravaged by the crushing weight of piled sins. She missed that face. She didn't miss the guilt that had destroyed its owner from within.

"I won't forget you, Ultear," Meredy promised. "And I won't let them forget you, either. I'll make sure they know what you did for them. Even if they'll never know it's the truth."

After another moment, Meredy summoned her magic and restored her illusion. She still had work to do, after all. The story wasn't finished yet. There was more to tell.

See you soon, Ultear. But not yet.

:Owari:

A/N: Chapter 334 made me Very Upset. As I mulled it all over, certain details started to stand out and make me wonder (and hope). Maybe it comes from rationalizing, or maybe it comes from denial. Then my weird sense of humour started to chime in. In any case, this story was born, and took on a life of its own. It improved my mood a bit, too. Might have some errors: I wrote quickly, editing on the fly.

I hope that it's just one of Gray's ice clones that gets hit, though I suspect not. Or that he just has a very close brush with death and heals up just fine. Or that Ultear saves the day somehow, and hopefully doesn't die in the process. But honestly, Ultear sacrificing herself... I could totally see it happening. She is still riddled with guilt over the things she's done, she remains mostly in the background but suddenly has a prominent role in this chapter (a chapter named "Sin and Sacrifice", of all things), and she has already attempted suicide once in the past.

Ultear has been up to her neck in nearly every plot from the very start, to an extent that would usually be reserved for the Big Bad in most story-telling. She's had more direct involvement in events than Zeref, the actual Big Bad. And yet, all along, she's been playing the role of minor character. It feels suspicious. For a character to have that much influence from the very beginning, and have her story unfold over such a long period of time... if there is any justice in this world, her fate will be spectacular.

Everyone else is busy writing heart-wrenching angst stories in reaction to chapter 334. I wound up writing a humour fic, with an angsty twist. Huh... go figure...

Post Chapter 335 Update (SPOILER ALERT!):
Hahaha! I fucking called it! Must be psychic... maybe I should go buy a lotto ticket...