Love Test

Chapter 7: "If You Truly Care"

RECAP:

In Natsu's third test, Lucy was used to stimulate a response. It ended with:

"While it made no sense why he was craving this kiss, or why he was craving Lucy at all, he just went with it. Her scent was fogging his mind, he couldn't think clearly, if he was thinking at all… eyes widening suddenly behind the blindfold Natsu grabbed the scarf around Lucy's neck using it to cover her mouth before he attacked. Upon pulling back and pushing himself away with whatever was left of his willpower, Natsu pinched his nose and plopped himself on the ground.

He had taken a bite out of the forbidden fruit. And it tasted good."

A force sent a petite female forward unto a soft, sturdy surface. Feeling warm, moist air blow on her face, the blonde assumed it was someone's breath and wasted no time in lifting herself up and crawling away.

It wasn't long before she hit a wall. Feeling her way up into a standing position she proceeded to feel her way into a corner in an attempt to reach the door. Screw carrying this out, she thought cursing those who deceived her, forcing her into such a situation.

The humid air emitted from her "test partner's" (that's what she was going to call the "magical chair"), was on the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She whipped herself around quickly, hair whipping her test partner's face. Chocolate eyes widened a considerable amount beneath the blindfold as she felt cold, solid concrete pressed against the curvature of her back. Her test partner's breath, which smelled vaguely of mixed spices, glazed her mouth and floated into her nostrils. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, an attempt to transport oxygen and allow her to remain a member of this world, as her full lips moved apart and her chest heaved in short wisps of air. Moving her head away she felt a warm breeze against her sternum instead. She felt it become warmer and warmer, a sign that the distance between the source and her body was decreasing.

With the warm air came the smell of firewood, grass and cinnamon. It was a warm inviting scent she was rather familiar with, as it has, on more than one occasion, hit her nose and triggered response. She leaned into the source of the wonderful aroma, enticed by the memories of security, protection, and warmth which accompanied it. To her it was very much like home, a scent that she fell asleep to. Present on her pillow and bed, accompanying her through countless journeys and adventures, arriving when she needed it most.

Fully entranced by the wonderful aroma before her, the victimized blonde's heels rose from the floor, the scent becoming stronger. She smiled, her ability to detect such a smell reminded her of a dear friend of hers-he was always good at sniffing people out. Her smile widened at the idea that he could be before her, emitting such a wonderful scent.

Then it dropped. Just why was she hoping this? A flustered look replaced her formerly peaceful smile. Something was wrong with her, absolutely wrong! She has been fantasizing about her idiotic-uneducated-in-romance-best friend more than she wanted to admit. This was all Mira-san's fault she huffed. That lady had devilishly planted the idea that her partner held romantic feelings towards her-which was as absurd as it was far-fetched- into her mind not once, but twice! And she, like the inexperienced fool she was, found herself believing (more like desperately hoping she had finally managed to attract at least ONE young man's attention, but she would never admit that) that demon. Well of course men should be crazy about her, she was perfect! The ideal woman!

Okay Lucy, she thought to herself inhaling deeply, Natsu is not an option. He is my nakama, my best friend, my colleague, who happens to be rather attractive...and as a healthy young woman, I, no matter how much I want to be, am not so vain to ignore his handsomeness...simply. JUST WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH HER EXACTLY?!

The Zodiac mistress's nose twitched in recognition of the scent from before, accompanied by the feeling of smooth skin gliding against her nose. Her spine snapping straight and her heels pushing her farther up against the wall, she clenched her fists as her toes curled up, and the tempo of her heart slowed down. Each beat resounded through her body whilst her stomach hollowed, and sweat began to accumulate in her fists. Her thoughts melted in her brain from the profound heat the male before her emitted as she subconsciously allowed herself to imagine her ruggedly handsome teammate before her. She felt the close proximity of the source's face. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she anticipated her first kiss. She was well aware of the gender of the person before her. She'd heard them groan, they were deep, undeniably masculine, groans.

Her nose brushed against the soft skin of the mystery man's nose, their lips centimeters away. Suddenly she felt the soft fabric against her neck lifted to cover her mouth before the mystery man's nose glided against hers and she felt warm lips against the fabric.

Her eyes widened for an instant before she instantly responded. The fabric preserving her lips' virginity was but a mere accessory, for she felt every emotion poured through: the raw passion and the almost animalistic possessiveness of the uneven meeting. The way he had opted to cover her lips, the way his encased around hers demonstrated his undeniable care for her. She fisted the front of her mystery man's shirt feeling the taut muscles behind them.

He was so warm, so inviting. She wanted this moment to last forever, with his warm hands transferring heat through her scarf to either side of her face, and his warm lips pressed forcefully against hers, setting fire to her body, igniting the blood in her veins.

It wasn't long before the mind-blowing event ended. Her head spun, and her legs didn't seem capable of supporting her weight anymore, her knees bending slightly. She heard her kisser move away and fall on the floor with a dull thud. Had the effects of the kiss rendered him motionless as well?

Her back slid down the wall, her legs slowly failing. That was absolutely fascinating, she decided. She wondered what would happen should they try it without the scarf barrier between them. The thought was followed by shivers as she imagined it. Her face flamed soon afterwards considering who she imagined it would be with. Thinking back to when she'd pictured the male before her, she had imagined him to be the same as that idiot that she'd imagined kissing moments ago. Actually, he's been plaguing her imagination, also she was within a trance and these were after effects. In fact she's probably still affected by that trance, for her to imagine such ludicrous things.

And so, Lucy returned to her mental therapy session.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

"I think it's about time we go in and get her," the disguised demon spoke.

"Why? It was just getting good!" The younger sister responded.

"You're weird, what's getting good? Natsu-san and onee-chan are sitting in two different ends of the room," the scarred man scoffed, "besides Natsu-san moved away from her and is pinching his nose, obviously her scent is annoying him."

"What do you know?" The younger take over mage snapped. "He's obviously pinching his nose because her scent is absolutely intoxicating him!" Putting her hands on her hips she continued. "He's trying his best to resist her because he cares about her!"

"Intoxicating? If her scent is makin' him drunk why do you wanna keep in there? Sadistic woman," the saber scowled.

"I'm not sadistic! You're a guy no wonder you can't understand love!"

"Love? What the hell? You call what just went on love? It looks more like torture!"

"It's because yo-"

"ENOUGH!" The loud command issued from the tiny man resulted in the end of the two young adults bickering. "Mira, escort Lucy out of that room and back upstairs and into the main hall," the master ordered, Lisanna please take Wendy back up to my office, don't let her out until she's regained consciousness."

"Yes Master," the two sisters replied simultaneously before proceeding to attend to their tasks.

Glancing back at the room, Lisanna detected movement. "MASTER!" The animal soul user shrieked in excitement rushing to the glass.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

Her curiosity battled the inertia holding her down, allowing her to finally move. Finally free from her stunned stupor, Lucy crawled towards the sound of the heavy breathing across the room. Who was this mystery man? Surely should she come in contact with him again, she'd find out.

Taking cautious steps on her all fours it wasn't long before she'd finally stumbled upon the man. Using her hands she felt the cotton clothing her mystery man's chest. Her hands suspended their climb up the man's clothed chest upon feeling him stiffen. Something soft as wool brushed against her knuckles and the Zodiac mistress heard a loud groan as he struggled to squirm away. She bit her lip as she fisted the man's shirt, her eyes getting oddly wet...he...he hadn't felt the same about their veiled kiss.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

Just what was this weirdo doing? Natsu panted, his heart hammering against his rib cage as though begging for escape. He could still feel the warmth from her body. She was hovering slightly above him, at arm's length.

The fire mage's body jerked, his muscles tensing, as he attempted to suppress his insane hunger. His head spun wildly with all the tidal waves that came crashing down on him, immersing him in emotions, drowning him in his desire for something. They left his mind flooded with incoherent thoughts, nonsensical ideas, and utter confusion. Among the whirlwinds of emotional incoherence that roamed his mind, one thought emerged clearly. The fact cut through his heart like a knife, a dull knife.

He was a threat to Lucy.

He had to protect Lucy. It shred his heart to pieces to admit it, but he had to protect her from himself, from his strong urge to pull her down and to feel her body on his.

Natsu writhed at the sensation he simulated in his mind. He ground on his teeth. Disgusting. He was absolutely disgusting. What kind of perverted fantasies were these? Lucy was... She was... Well she was weird, but innocent (as in not perverted, because she wasn't like Cana… that woman was a real pervert) all the same... Even if her undies didn't look that innocent. Okay. Now is not the time to be thinking about Lucy's undies.

...

NOW IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT THE TIME TO BE IMAGINING HER IN THOSE UNDIES EITHER!

He was such a pervert...

Natsu resumed his confusion filled self-loathing until a tangy scent hit his nose. Salt, like sea water mixed in with honey. Lucy was crying. What did he do? He obviously did something to her. But what?

Was it the kiss? When he moved, did she fall?

What should he do? What could he do?

THIS MAKES NO SENSE! He thought clutching his head.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

It really made no sense. None. Her crying was absolutely nonsensical! Who cared if that mysterious man didn't feel the same way about the kiss? She didn't know who he was. There was no reason for her to feel so...so...heartbroken. It's not like she wasn't rejected before. It's just... She didn't even know. It's like that time when Natsu was in such a hurry to go on a mission that he wouldn't let her come along. Of course Mira had explained that it was because he wanted to qualify for the S Class Wizard exam, but it still had hurt.

Yet her tear ducts continued to produce more and more of that salty liquid, which would accumulate in her eyes before spilling over, as their containers' capacities were breached. Dear Mavis... She didn't know why it hurt so much. She'd been rejected plenty of times. Truthfully, they hurt, but she shrugged them off and never bothered remembering them. Often those men would turn out to be scumbags looking for a one-night stand, and not a serious relationship.

So why was she crying? Who cared if this guy she didn't even know, rejected her? Like she's already stated, she doesn't know him. No matter how familiar he seems. His identity is a mystery. Lucy sniffed, biting back the oncoming wave of tears. Suddenly, she felt warm, callous hands on her forearms trailing up to her shoulder, her neck and finally, her face before two thumbs poked under the blind fold and wiped away the slight moisture as the blindfold had done well to absorb the rest.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

"What a development!" The youngest of the three white-headed individuals squealed, her cerulean eyes wide with stars dancing across them as she exhaled puffs of steam from her nose. Her hands were placed on her cheeks as she bent forward staring at the situation behind the glass barrier.

"If this keeps up, you might renew your status as a great-grandfather Master," Mira smiled at the dwarf.

A smirk, "Natsu wouldn't know what to do even if Lucy instructed him."

The twin dragons' jaws dropped, their eyes popping out of their heads. "N-N-Natsu-san doesn't know?!" Sting exclaimed.

"No," The demon's smile was brighter than the sun, "at least we don't think he does."

"Cana did suggest he could be playing dumb," Lisanna added, before glaring in the Saber mages' direction, "do you know how to have children?"

"Of course we do!" The blonde exclaimed.

"Oh really?" The animal-soul user eyed them suspiciously.

"Yeah!" The white dragon slayer shot back. "Do you know how to have a kid?"

Lisanna blushed 50 shades of red. "THAT'S NOT A QUESTION YOU ASK A LADY!" She erupted. "You really have no delicacy!"

"You're hardly a lady!" The blonde shot back. "Besides what are you getting so worked up about?" Sting's eyes narrowed. "All a guy does is hug his girl 'till she lays an egg."

At that statement the room went silent. "Is that what dragons tell their young when they don't want to explain where children come from?" Lisanna directed this question at Rogue.

"OI! Don't ignore me!" Sting yelled.

"So is it?" The youngest Strauss continued ignoring the more active of the two dragon slayers.

"Wait, hold up a second," Sting gestured for people to stop using his arms as he realized the point of the silver-haired female's question, "that's not how you have kids?"

"You're just as clueless as Natsu," Lisanna glared warily.

"Natsu-san isn't clueless, you people are all weird."

"Sting," The shadow man who stood quietly in the corner of the room finally spoke.

"What?"

"Humans have an alternate method of breeding."

"They do?!"

"YOU'RE HUMANS TOO YOU IDIOTS!"

"More than just hugging, the woman must be facing you," Rogue spoke calmly, "otherwise she won't lay the egg."

The room was occupied by a pregnant silence as the more knowledgeable humans within the room processed the raven haired man's statement. The Wizard Saint broke the silence, "somebody, call Gajeel down."

"Gajeel?" Rogue mumbled in his corner.

"Why should we do that Master?" Mira asked on behalf of all those in the room.

"We need to see how much he knows about having a kid," The aged dwarf grumbled.

"But I really don't want to miss anything Natsu and Lucy do," Mira's features shifted into a forced smile.

"Neither do I," Lisanna pouted.

The two beauties stared at the young men in the room in a pleading matter, causing one to blush and sputter, "I-I-I ain't doin' it, I'm here to see Natsu-san's weakness! I ain't leavin' 'till I see it!" While the other silently moved towards the exit in compliance.

Across the Glass Barrier…

Post removing his hands from Lucy's face, Natsu opted for grabbing Lucy's right hand and aiding her in moving towards the wall. Sitting down, the tortured fire mage rested his back on the wall, his long legs spread out in front of him, as he relished in the coldness seeping through the back of his vest. He released a long exhale the events of the "test" the notorious master of Fairy Tail had put him through. Soon he felt a rather weighty object rest on his clothed left should-he assumed it was Lucy's head.

It then occurred to him that she'd been blindfolded, after all, he had felt cloth against his thumbs when he wiped away her tears…he didn't recall Wendy or Lisanna wearing blindfolds, so why was Lucy wearing one? On the topic of those tears…those damn tears annoyed him so much. He couldn't take it! He had to get rid of them somehow! He tended to relish in the smell of salt water when he was at the ocean, but they smelled plain annoying when they were Lucy's tears. Smelling Lucy's tears was like eating salted honey. Honey was supposed to be sweet! It was wrong for it to be salty! The smell just drove him nuts he had to get rid of it!

The blonde ex-heiress' breathing became steady even inhales and exhales, an indication of her lack of consciousness. Realizing this, the confused fire mage decided he too was fatigued and was about to allow himself to drift off into the pitch black world of sleep…until his blindfold was removed.

Before he knew it, Lucy's head was lifted from his shoulder, and his eyes snapped open to the sight of the Strauss sisters hauling her up the stairs. Natsu would have chased after them, except his beloved grandfather figure stood in his way. At the time, the great Salamander hadn't the slightest clue it would be the prelude to hell…

Meanwhile upstairs in the guild's main hall…

"Gajeel! That was my favorite book!" A petite bookworm huffed, standing on the tips of her toes and reaching her arms as far as they could to grab the confiscated book. "Give it back!"

"Ya need ta move around more squirt," Her torturer responded, lifting his muscular arm high above his head, "the only reason yer ass is so big is 'cause yer sittin' on it reading all day."

Levy's face flamed as her hands went to her bum and she pulled on the hem of her dress. She had, never-never-expected him to ever check out her bum. Grabbing the thickest book she had-which to her luck happened to be one of her larger encyclopaedias-and flinging it at the tall male, she hit him square in the stomach. She then proceeded to fling as many of her books in his direction as possible, one hitting him on the underside of his chin, sending him toppling backward. The entirety of the guild erupted in laughter in response.

Such was the scene Rogue Cheney stumbled upon as he re-entered the main hall to escort Gajeel to the secret underground testing chamber. While his face remained void of emotion, he was, without a doubt, extremely displeased with Gajeel. The once intimidating, almighty Iron-Gajeel had softened. While he was vastly more powerful than he was during his Phantom Lord days, the Shadow dragon slayer felt that his presence no longer demanded the fear-induced-respect it once did-a consequence of his romantic feelings for the petite solid script mage. She was most definitely the cause of Gajeel's softened exterior.

"Gajeel," he spoke to the mage on the floor.

"Huh?" Gajeel glared at him. "What do ya want?"

"Master Makarov has requested I take you to him."

"What for?"

"Hn."

Confused, Gajeel glared at his former pupil, suspicious he tossed the book he'd confiscated from the squirt and followed the iron dragon slayer followed Rogue to the master's office. There Wendy had regained consciousness and Lucy lay fast asleep on a couch. "Why's bunny girl here?" The pierced man directed his question at the saber mage.

"This isn't our final destination," he replied as he triggered the hidden doorway and descended, Gajeel following.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

"GRAMPS THIS AIN'T NORMAL! WHY THE HELL AM I HUNGRY FOR LUCY?!" A frustrated fire mage erupted upon having the antidote to the potion that was supposed to cause loss of the senses of hearing and smell shoved down his throat. "AND WHY COULD I SMELL?! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT POTION?!"

"Calm down Natsu," the older man instructed calmly, "for your first question, I'm going to answer it in a moment, for the second, I asked Porlyusica to tweak it so you could smell," a smirk, "you reacted to Lucy as predicted."

"I what?" A bewildered look, however the entrance of another dragon slayer stopped him from stringing together a long list of questions.

"Yo! Natsu-san! I woulda asked you to fight, but evidently we're here to learn how to make children!" The blonde laughed obnoxiously.

"But don't you just have to hug the girl till she lays an egg?"

"That's what I said!" Sting agreed. "But Rogue said she won't lay an egg if you aren't facing her during the hug."

"Oh…That makes so much sense!" Natsu exclaimed his clenched fist hitting his open palm in realization.

"It does, doesn't it? That way the woman can get a good look of your face and the kid'll look like you!" The blonde said.

The question: "So, are ya gonna tell me what the hell this is about or what?" preceded the entrance of two raven haired males.

"GAJEEL?"

"SALAMANDER?"

"Oi jii-chan! Why is he here?" The pinkette pointed a finger at the pierced man. "I thought you were gonna explain why I was hungry for Lucy, why does Gajeel have to be here?"

"Is that why bunny-girl's upstairs sleeping?" The subject of Natsu's question responded. "She isn't pregnant is she?"

"Gajeel," the Wizard saint sat crossed legged atop a table, his eyes closed, "do you know the human way to have children?"

"'Course I do, what kinda idiot doesn't?" The male folded his arms over his chest. "Ya just gotta hug the girl 'till she lays the egg, but y'gotta make sure that the girl is facin' you, or else she won't lay the egg."

"Mou, dragon-slayers are helpless, Lucy and Levy both have it tough," Lisanna sighed as she entered with her older sister, hauling in boxes of lacrima.

"Do you need anything else Master?" Mira asked as she rolled in a chalkboard.

"No, thank you Mira," the dwarf grumbled, and as soon as the sisters left, "sit your bums down nitwits! Now, I know you were all raised by dragons, but haven't you ever wondered where you came from!?"

"HUH?" Came the harmonious reply.

"We came from the eggs our moms laid!" The fire user in the room exclaimed in response, causing the old man to fall backwards.

"Alright, look here and listen closely," Makarov spoke as he repositioned himself on the table, "none of you are leaving this room until you learn about making children, the human way, because remember, you're dragon slayers, you're humans!"

As if on cue the doors locked and Mira's cheery voice resounded through the room, "I'll be sending food down at set times. Also master, be sure to stay on topic," with that her voice disappeared and hell began.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

The Next Day

"Ne Lu-chan," a bluette squeaked, "is my butt big?"

"Hmm?" Lucy hummed, startled by her question, before trailing her eyes down to the body part her friend referred to. "It is, but it's a nice kind of big y'know…why do you ask?"

"N-no reason!" Levy's face turned red as she began rambling incoherent curses under her breath.

An evil smirk appeared on the Celestial spirit mage's face, "Did someone say something about your bum? Ufufufu." There was no way she was missing a chance to tease her friend.

"Yea Gajeel did actually, and you missed it!" A drunk brunette showed up, bottle in hand. "He told her, 'the only reason yer ass is so big is 'cause yer sittin' on it reading all day,' or something like that!" She attempted to mimic the iron dragon slayers voice before erupting in laughter. "And then the Levy nailed him with an encyclopedia!"

"She did?" Lucy began laughing, the idea of Gajeel being thrown off by an encyclopedia was hilarious.

"She did! You shoulda seen his face, it was priceless! And she was red as a tomato!"

"Actually, where were you yesterday Lu-chan?" Levy interrupted, her tone laced with annoyance.

"Where was I? I came here to the guild didn't I?"

"You did? But you went missing in the middle of Natsu's fight…"

"Hey now that you mention it, she and Natsu went missing after the fight yesterday," Cana smirked, "don't tell me you left him in bed all alone."

"Actually, I got peace and quiet last night!" The blonde huffed cheeks aglow. "Natsu didn't break in! I-I-I didn't have to deal with kicking him out!"

"Maybe he didn't break in, because you let him in," the bookworm smirked.

"I did not! He just disappeared!" Lucy denied furiously. "Actually now that you mention it, I haven't seen him or that pesky blonde either!"

"Gajeel hasn't shown up since Rogue-san took him to Master's office," Levy supplied.

"Do you think he locked those four in a jail cell together?" Cana asked.

"I don't see why he'd do that when he knows Natsu's capable of melting the bars," the ex-heiress spoke.

"And Gajeel's capable of eating them," The solid script mage sighed exasperatedly.

"Look at you two! Talking about your men so fondly!" The card mage lifted her arms to the ceiling in a celebratory manner. "You're making me feel lonely!" She whined. "Maybe I should go get me a man too."

"Nastu," Lucy began.

"Gajeel," Levy started.

"Is not my man!" The two book-lovers declared simultaneously.

"Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want, just make sure you have booze at your weddings," Cana waved walking away.

"It's not like that!" The harmonious denial followed Cana's back.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

"THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S HOW YOU HAVE KIDS!" A collection of four voices denied deafeningly.

"T-T-THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S WHAT THAT HUNGER MEANT!" The only pink haired individual in the room yelled, waves of heat rolling off of his face. "AND T-THERE'S NO WAY I'D DO THAT WITH LUCY!"

"Then you'll never have kids brat," the old man grumbled, his pinky finger in his ear-his ear drums still miraculously in tact.

The fire dragon slayer then paused to imagine the opposite of his claims. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he became even redder than he was before (if that was even possible) as he started trembling and a fire ignited surrounding him. He turned such that his back was to the other four men in the room. "Natsu-san! Are you okay?!" The blonde in the room asked rather loudly.

Natsu barely nodded his head when his head flew backward blood gushing out of his nose. "NATSU-SAN!" Sting panicked. "SOMEONE GET A BUCKET!"

"Who would have thought Natsu had such a vivid imagination," Master Makarov mused. "Well it is concerning Lucy."

"A BUCKET WE NEED A BUCK-OW!" A bucket slammed into the back of Sting's head unceremoniously. "WHO THREW THAT?"

"It was dropped to us from a ceiling compartment, I anticipated Natsu's reaction and set an automated bucket dropper spell," the dwarf explained seriously, "there's one for each of you."

As such, the dragon slayers in the room's avid denial continued. It wasn't until about a half a day later after all the males had beat the shit out of each other, been physically reprimanded by a Satan-Soul-Mira for beating each other up, been put into temporary casts, and been feed tubs of ice cream, that they finally calmed down.

"Now that you're all calm, I'm going to clarify things," the elderly Dreyer spoke calmly, "because this topic is generally considered inappropriate, people always refer to it using different terms, for example, 'doing the deed'."

At that Natsu's eyes widened. "It's not every time that it happens a kid will be born, but that is a risk. Some people don't understand that 'risk' and sometimes that ends up with fatherless children, or children who are tossed away into an orphanage because their parents didn't want to take responsibility for their actions."

"I take it the only person at risk here really is the child," Rogue commented.

"Exactly," the elderly man spoke, "but, very often the mother is at risk as well, that's why," he paused his blue eyes looking directly into the onyx ones of a certain dragon slayer, "if you really care about a woman, you'll marry her first."

The words seemed to hit home with each of the males in the room, as the room was filled with a solemn silence…before.

"I don't really plan on having kids or getting married either way so there's no reason for me to be here really," Sting stated flatly.

"People also do that for recreational purposes as well," Makarov shrugged his shoulders.

"Recre-wha?" Natsu squinted.

This induced master's next segment of his lecture describing their society and the many things those dragon slayers had managed to avoid for all their years of living. Of course he didn't cover everything he felt was necessary to tell the dragon slayers and therefore they spent the night in the tiny examination room.

PART II: Pack yer Bags!

Fairy Tail was in its usual active state. There were side brawls occurring in the various corners resulting in bodies flying and bursts of laughter. Everything was completely normal…until the doors of the guild slammed open sending two people flying and crashing into other people in the guild hall and initiating new brawls. The guild's notorious sharp-shooting duo entered in a furious flurry. Fairy Tail's kind mother greeted them with concern once they reached the bar. "I swear that was the worst mission I've ever been on!" Alzack ground.

"Why? What happened?" Mira asked with concern.

"Some jerk wouldn't stop flirting with my Bisca," the marksman exclaimed revealing his more possessive side.

The group at the bar's attention then shifted to their favorite markswomen. Her eyes were covered by her bangs. Lifting her head, "I swear I've never been more insulted in my life! That sexist pig! Thinking all women wanted in men was money, claiming he was better than my Al!"

"Wait a second, what happened on your mission?" Levy inquired.

A week ago, Alzack and Bisca had taken up a request with a large reward from one of the wealthiest men in Fiore. He was an old man with an extremely successful hotel chain spanning the country. The two had decided on such a mission so that they could earn a large enough sum of money to secure themselves for an extended amount of time and hence spend more time with their dear Asuka.

The old man was, despite being a business tycoon, very kind and reasonable. He told them that it was thanks to his sweet wife who had passed before him. The old man was not at all the problem, oh no, not at all… it was his son. Unlike his father, the son was incredibly vain, selfish, and naïve. He always got whatever he wanted because he had the money to do so. Encountering Bisca, he liked what he saw and he wanted her. Naturally, he would simply have to buy her as well.

For the entire week that the two were on the mission he was constantly flirt and harass Bisca, driving Alzack far beyond the edge. The only thing that held the two back was the thought of their wonderful daughter waiting back at home for them. Hence they persevered up until the point when the son finally managed to corner Bisca in a room on their own. Bisca knew he was weak and wasn't at all afraid. Her only issue was harming their client's son and losing the reward after a week of suffering. As such she remained as evasive as ever until…

"I'm infinitely better than your pathetic husband, look at him dragging you with him to do dirty work."

Just as the cliché would have it, Alzack walked in right after the line was spoken. The first thing he saw was his wife uppercut the jerk before yelling at him, "Al is in all ways your superior!" Turning around she saw Alzack. "Let's go talk to his father Al. I can't simply forgive this insult."

As a result, in addition to increasing the reward the father also offered to allow the entire guild and friends an entire week's stay in his newest hotel, which would be easier to clear out that any of the older hotels. The two had said that wasn't necessary, but he'd insisted stating this is what his wife wouldn't forgive him if he offered any less.

"And now, the entire guild and whoever else we invite is welcome to the Wellington's newest beachside resort," Bisca finished, "feel free to tell master."

Things instantly clicked together in Mira's mind as it spun together numerous schemes. Her smile grew sweeter and sweeter to an extent where it was sinisterly sweet. Only one person noticed her eerily happy mood, and he instantly knew she had, as her habits conveyed, planned for a way to throw all the matches she'd been making together. Not like he cared or anything, but maybe she should kind of start to look for a match for herself. Well… then again there weren't any eligible matches for someone of her caliber. She was a powerful, motherly beauty… matches for her were going to be hard to find and he probably wouldn't approve of them anyway. But why was he bothering with this any way… it was none of his business and he didn't care, frankly. Nope he didn't care not at all… not at all…Not one bit.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

A week had passed since the disappearance of the dragon slayers. Naturally everyone had noticed their disappearance the first day after they'd been trapped in that exam room; however their curiosity had only piqued when the dragons slayers' exceeds, who were particularly lonely, inquired the location of their partners on their perceived third day of being missing. At such a time Mira explained that they were all receiving social and cultural education with the master. Any further inquiries were left unanswered. Naturally speculative rumours spread about the guild as to what this "social and cultural education" was. At one point in the horror of it all, Wendy, who had some idea as to what this "education" really was questioned whether or not it really took so long to teach them about human reproductive processes. Mira stated that the master had deemed it absolutely necessary that they understand it completely and clearly so as to prevent immoral and dangerous behavior. Mira had glanced in Lucy and Levy's direction at that time, so as to hint that it was really for the safety of those two girls, before smiling sheepishly at Wendy who blushed red at understanding the hint. Dear Mavis things were about to get crazier than they already were…at this rate Wendy might need to learn how to safely deliver children!

It was later that day when the master finally returned from the examination room. The dragon slayers appeared shortly after he did. Upon their appearance the guild was in an uproar to know about the "education" they'd received. Needless to say upon being asked the louder two blushed red and said it was "none of their damn business!" before storming out of the guild and probably starting a fight somewhere. Their exceeds, who hadn't managed to greet them, rushed out of the guild after them. When the darker two were asked, the guild received sinister, bone-chilling glares and dispersed immediately. One of the two's mood had been lifted upon being greeted by his loyal frog suit-wearing friend, while the other had casually stomped out of the guild upon being greeted with a, "you're in a foul mood," from Pantherlily.

An uproar followed Gajeel's departure. Just what had they all gone through? Mira giggled at the confusion and mayhem, a knowing smile taking her features. Turning to the dwarf master she informed him of the events that had passed while he was away. Upon learning that they'd been given a free stay, he automatically requested Mira set to work inviting some of their friends from other guilds, listing out many names and telling her to include whomever he had forgotten. Mira claimed she'd already prepared the letters and they only needed sending and that there were more pressing matters-such as room arrangements, and when they were going- that needed to be discussed. Makarov, exhausted, and partially deaf from being in a room with the four rowdy dragon slayers; decided against discussing the details that day. Another week passed before the trip details were finalized and the guild had mailed out the request to clear up the resort.

0o0-_-_-_-0o0

During the week Mira and the elderly Dreyer had spent conspiring, Lucy had scarcely seen Natsu. The salmon haired pyromaniac hadn't broke in once since his return from the examination room. He rarely showed up to the guild hall, which was strange and unnerving as he wasn't registered for any jobs, and when he did he instantly got into a brawl before she could even say a word to him.

To make matters worse she received a letter from Sandra, the photographer from hell, containing an incredibly eloquent rant about the system her business operated on. She pledged that her works of art would be revealed to the public eye. The Weekly Sorcerer was bound to release the pictures sometime in the next month! Everyone loved romance! That's why so many writers tend to write romance! If those idiots at the Weekly Sorcerer had half a brain-no, just a scrap of brains-in their heads they would work in their pictures as soon as possible.

It was on one of the colder winter mornings, that the Makarov Dreyer decided to announce their leave on a short vacation: "Pack yer bags kiddos! Because we have got a special reservation at one of the hottest tourist spots in Fiore!" The master announced gleefully.

"And I've got the room plans all listed out!" His white-haired bar maid chirped.

The color drained from the blonde's face post perceiving the demon's happy smile. Mira was a matchmaker… meaning the master could expect to renew his great-gramps title soon.

While Lucy had known and expected this trip to pop up soon, not many aside from the people who had been nearest the bar that day when Alzack and Bisca had returned had known about the compensation stay. Or that's what anyone would conclude from the gleeful cheers that ensued as the master elaborated further on the details of trip.

Part III: The Game

They were to leave the following morning, giving everyone scarcely enough time to fully prepare for their trip. After the announcement the girls had immediately set out scavenging for a shop that would be so silly as to sell swimsuits in the middle of the winter. The vast majority of the population within the guild hall had also cleared out as well, weary of the time constraints. A few people remained, among which was a certain S-class blonde dragon slayer. He was approached by his dwarf grandfather, "Laxus I expect you to come along as well."

The most Makarov got in response was a grunt signalling his grandson had heard him. It was a vague answer that neither accepted nor declined the request. Such an answer simply would not do. So, upon Makarov's entering his office along with his trusty barmaid, two individuals who had coincidently heard the exchange put a plan into action.

Standing directly below Laxus, who was on the second floor, a white dragon slayer loudly asked, "Ne Rogue! Isn't Mira-san great?"

"She is Sting-kun! She makes the best food!" The answer came from a brick red exceed instead of his friend.

"Fro agrees!"

"You know what else Lector? She's really pretty," Sting made sure to drawl out the really to further emphasize his point, "she's the prettiest girl in Fairy Tail!"

"What's your point Sting?" Rogue finally answered.

"What I mean is when we all go to that beach resort and guys see Mira-san in a swimsuit the beach is going to be packed with men! Who knows there might even be one who is able to impress her!" The blonde grinned. "Damn, I wonder how amazing he'd have to be to impress Mira-san… That dude would have to be superior to every other man in the whole of Fiore!"

"You're right Sting-kun! That's because Mira-san is really smart too! So he'd have to be at least as smart as she is!" Lector agreed enthusiastically.

"Fro agrees!"

Sensing an ominous aura from the floor above, Sting grinned smugly. "Well we should go pack our bags to go along! Beaches make for excellent fighting grounds!" With that the two dragon slayers were out of the door with their exceeds.

Yahoo~

This is a compromise, I'm sorry guys. But I've having some trouble getting to the "self-punishment" part.

This is for you all to enjoy while I try to get my stuff straight.

Thanks for waiting!

Thanks for reading!

As per usual please leave me a review telling me what you liked, disliked, or would be interested in seeing in the future. If it isn't too plot side-tracking I may consider it

PREVIEW:

Chapter 8: "Self-Punishment Huh?"

"Have you ever considered by implementing this 'self-punishment' that you might actually be punishing someone else?" She stared straight ahead at the unreachable horizon.

Turning towards the lady beside him his eyes wide, he remained silent waiting for her to speak more.

When she said nothing more he grit his teeth looked to the jagged rocks beneath them. "I am unworthy of someone so pure."

"You make it sound like you are tainted," she giggled uneasily.