Authors Note; It's been a while. A loooong while. Far too long.

But it feels so good to be back.

I'll cya at the bottom then we'll talk. Kay? Kay.

I had a nightmare again.

It started how it always did. Gunshots. Screaming. The sound of something exploding. Sirens screaming into the night. I wake up in an all to famliar room. Bunk beds line the dusty walls. Smoke fills my lungs and I struggle to breath, gasping for air. I find myself stumbling to the door, which is now wide open.

As always, this is where it becomes different. Every single one is different. This time, instead of being outside, in the middle of other countless trailers such as the one from earlier, I was in my living room. The door was wide open, windows busted, Moms favorite vase shattered, dried blood staining the carpet. The room looked like a storm blew through it. There was only one piece missing. Which was about to make her appearence in 3...2...1.

Hands grab my shoulders and spin me around, and Im staring into the eyes of one of those...things. Jaw gaping open, long red hair in a matted mess, blood decorating her decomposing skin. Some trickled down from the bullet hole in the side of her head.

My mom leaned in to bite me right as it changed. Again.

Now, complete darkness everywhere. I couldnt see a thing. My heart was pounding in my chest, my legs were shaking. Wake up, wake up, for fucks sake why can't I wake up?

I hear them before they come, but Im frozen in place. I begin to cough, struggling for air as something wraps around my neck, slowly beginning to get tighter and tighter. I'm not sure why I tried to pull it off me, I knew I couldn't get it- excuse me, 'Her'- off. I could feel something beginning to poke into my back. Oh God no, please no, not again, wake the fuck up Steve, wake-

A searing, white hot back explodes in my back- spreading throughout my body. It only lasts a second, but it feels like forever.

Alexia and her horrid virus are gone, instead I'm face to face with my dad, his hands wrapped around my throat, taking the place of her tentacles. He's screaming something I can't make out, but from the countless other versions of this Hell my brain's managed to come up with, I have an idea what he's saying.

I try to get him away from me, but of course it doesn't work. He leans in close to mine, and stares at me for a moment, before he changes. His face becomes a grotesque, decomposed, rotten face quite like how my mom's was. His mouth hangs open, revealing rotten, broken teeth. His breath stank, making me want to vomit. Imagine the worst possible smell you can, and times it by ten. Thats the smell of a dead mans breath.

He lets out a horrid, gurgling noise- a cross between a dying animal and someone being shot- before he leans in, his mouth hanging open.

...Then I was on the floor of my room, staring at the ceiling, hyperventilating. I might have screamed, too. Not a hundred percent sure on that.

Stupid nightmare.

I sat up quickly, holding my head, and glanced over at the alarm clock on my side table. The bright red numbers read 3:25 in the morning. Great. I let out a shaky breath, running a hand through my hair. This was the third time this month. Its always the same routine, too. Nightmare, wake up on the floor, breathing like I just ran for my life. Next I'll be in my bed, having a breakdown for who knows how long. Then I'll up for the rest of the night, and Claire will be bugging me the minute I walk downstairs why I didnt get any sleep. Apparently its obvious when I don't.

I sighed, leaning up against the bed. I could feel myself shaking, my heart still racing. Why the fuck can't I just get over this? Or just get some kind of memory loss and forget it all? Maybe even just get in some freak accident and just die, now that would be a great Christmas present.

I hate Christmas.

I sat there with other equally... disturbing thoughts, when I heard a knock on my door. Which, I'll admit, startled me. Just a bit.

"Steve?" The door opened a bit, and Claire peered in, "You okay? I heard you scream earlier..."

Well, that answers one question.

She frowned and quietly stepped into the room, closing the door behind her, taking a seat next to me on the floor. I closed my eyes, trying to at least make it seem like I was alright. I thought I was doing pretty good at it, too. She didnt say anything for a few minutes, so I thought I had her convinced.

"Steve, you're shaking."

God damn-it.

I felt her wrap her arms around me, and I leaned a bit closer to her. So much for my acting. Wasnt worth trying to convince her anymore. Was I shaking more now? Jesus Christ, get yourself together. Aren't you suppose to be the one comforting her when shes down?

"It's alright. It was just a nightmare- everything's going to be okay."

I let another shaky breath escape my lips as I desperately tried to collect myself. It was only a nightmare, I did not stand by idly as my mother died, it was only a nightmare, I didn't wake up in a fucked up prison on a remote island, it was only a nightmare, I did not murder my dad, it was only a nightmare, it was only a nightmare, it was only...

... No, it wasnt.

And that was the worst part.

Before I knew it, my face was buried in her shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around her, trying my hardest not to burst into tears. Trying to keep myself together. She knew I was practically seconds away from failing.

"Shhhh, hey, its okay. It was just a nightmare- you're okay." Claire began gently rubbing her hand up and down my back, trying to calm me down. It...didnt work.

I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

I completely broke down, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt stop myself. How could I, when I know half of all that was my fault? I could've done something, anything, to fix what was going on. Maybe my mom would still be around, or my dad even. How would you feel if you had to live with that, everyday? Knowing that you could have done something to save someone's life, but instead you stood there and watched it happen? Or even worse, be the reason why it happened?

... This guilts eating me alive...

...We stayed like that for a while, I'm not even sure how long, to be honest, until she pulled away, holding me by my shoulders an arms length away.

"Steve, look at me."

I quietly looked up at her, still- I hate to admit- crying quite a bit. Her brunette hair was in a slight mess, down instead of up. Brown eyes stared back into mine, filled with concern. "Listen to me, okay?" Claire began gently, "What happened back on Rockfort is in the past. The place burned to the ground. Nothing like that's going to happen again." She paused- my best guess being to find out what to say. "And... What happened with your parents...there was nothing you could do. Especially with your dad. By the time we found him, it was too late. What you did was the right thing to do. Do you think he'd rather be walking around- a mindless shell- for the rest of his days?"

I wiped one of my eyes, shaking my head no.

"But, we-"

"No, Steve, we couldn't. There wasn't anything we could do." I flinched a bit at how harsh her words were, adverting my gaze to the floor. She sighed, glancing down at the floor too before looking back up at me. "I'm sorry, but you and I both know that." Then she pulled me back into an embrace, holding me tight. I wrapped my arms back around her, and once again burying my face into her shoulder.

I did know that. I just didn't want to believe it.

Claire didnt say much after that. Neither of us did. She kept hugging me until I finally managed to calm myself down. When she was sure I was 'fine', she pulled away again, gently lifting my head so I was looking at her again. Her voice was soft and gentle. "Lets get some sleep, okay?"

I nodded. She got up, and offered a hand, which I took and got up. I sniffed, wiping my eyes as I stole a glance at the clock. It now read 4:48 am. Great. With a sigh, I laid down on the bed, once again facing the ceiling, not bothering with the covers. Not like I'd be going back to sleep anytime soon.

Figuring Claire would head back to her room, I closed my eyes in an effort to convince her I was actually going to sleep, not staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I was surprised to open my eyes and see her lay down beside me, resting her head on my chest. After a short moment of figuring out what just happened, I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close. She didnt protest, and snuggled closer.

We laid there like that for a while, not really falling asleep, listening to the crickets chirp outside. Neither of us talked, just enjoyed the company. Which, honestly, I preferred at the moment. It gave me time to think a bit on what Claire had said. I guess, in a few ways, she was right. There were a few things I still couldn't convince myself of though, I know there was something else we could've done. Like... find a cure. Or maybe just try and keep him a bit restrained and see if the virus would wear off.

What the hell am I thinking, viruses can't just go away. It's not something like a cold. Am I really that stupid to think that's even the slightest bit possible?

But there was definitely something else I could of done.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as Claire leaned up, kissing my cheek. She gave me a small, tired smile, "Get some sleep."

"If you do, sure," I mumbled, giving her a quick kiss back, wrapping my arms tighter around her. She rested her head back on my chest, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.

"Night Steve."

"Night."

There was a slight pause before I spoke up.

"...I love you."

She snuggled closer, closing her eyes, the smile still on her lips, "Love you too."

I couldn't help but smile with her as I closed my eyes, and allow sleep to take over me.

And this time, the nightmare didn't return.

Author Note; Talk time!

First, I hope you guys enjoyed my first RE story (Despite it being kinda meh in some places), meant to upload sooner but I didn't have the time. Be sure to leave reviews and follow if you want more!

So, here's what's going to happen. I might not be able to update for a while, as I'll be going away for the rest of summer this weekend. But, I'll be writing the entire time I'm there and will upload content once I get back. Sorry for not updating earlier, by the way, and being a tad inactive.

Anyways, also, another thing. Lately I've been finding myself writing things less Fanfiction related, so I've decided to start putting some things up on Fictionpress. If you're interested to read some of my original works, I'll eventually be putting some content up. Same penname as here, Forgottendespair.

That's all for now. Cya soon!