Title: When The Siren Calls You Go (To Run With the Wolf), Part One
Pairing: Regina/Red
Rating: R
Length: 12, 250
Summary: Red finds herself indebted to a beautiful queen who only asks for her friendship in return.
Notes: Written for comparison. Beta'd by thegirl20.

When Red first sees her she thinks she's an angel. Dressed in white with the sun shining behind her as she walks into the town hall, commanding despite her small frame. Guards trail in behind her, lining the ends of the aisles and causing a stir amongst the council behind her. Red barely has the energy to lift her gaze from her spot on the floor – days of no sleep and nothing to eat while she was locked away has left her without so much as a blush on her cheeks despite her ragged appearance in front of the regal woman who is stepping up to stand before her.

"This girl will be freed immediately and taken into my own care," she states flippantly as two guards dressed in white kneel down next to Red and do away with the chains that are weighing on her neck and wrists.

"Under whose authority?" Sputters the mayor of their small village, the one who only moments before was espousing the dangers of a menace such as Red in their midst.

"Under the authority of Princess Abigail," she snaps in return, brown eyes sharp and menacing even in the dim light of the old building. "I believe as King Leopold's wife, I'm entitled to such privileges."

There's an immediate rise in conversation, the hushed murmurings of the crowd turning into a quiet roar as the men behind the table shout their protests. Red stares around bewildered as the guards help her to her feet and escort her back out of the building, seeking out Granny who is stepping forward to command the Queen's attention. She can hear the demands for her release being shouted as people push back against the unmoving guards who block the rows of villagers, whose menacing silence has Red more afraid than confused at the moment.

Red had spent the last three days in a cell after the village search party found her and Granny, sitting horrified in front of what had been the blacksmith's son, Peter. It didn't take long for them to notice the mysterious changing tracks at the scene and drop the blame on Red's shoulders, despite Granny's own insistence that it had been herself. Endless hours of crying and isolation had left her overjoyed at the very thought of leaving the stone cells until she was placed in front of Peter's father, a looming man with burly arms and dark eyes that left her with little hope that the council she was presented in front of would show her any leniency. Until she appeared out of the blue.

Red's mumbling directions to their cabin as the men inform her that she'll need to collect her things, her grandmother having caught up with them by the time they make it halfway through the large expanse of field before their home.

"What's going on?" Red asks desperately, stumbling over her own feet as she keeps up the brisk pace the guards have taken to, surely an attempt to stay ahead of the mob of people undoubtedly swarming from the town hall. "Where are they taking us?"

"Away." Granny refuses to say anything else on the matter, gathering the few heirlooms she's kept around the house and spurring Red to hurry along. When they return to the damp gray morning outside, the small crowd of guards have gathered around a cluster of horses, the woman in white standing in the center of them.

"You have no reason to be frightened, dear. No one will harm you while I'm around." Her eyes seem vibrant when surrounded by billowing snow, her skin glowing from the whipping winds. "You're very young."

"Seventeen this autumn," she fumbles for a moment, "your majesty."

Her lips curve into a sweet smile that makes Red feel breathless and dizzy. "Regina, please. My friends call me Regina. And I'd like very much for us to be friends…"

"She's been 'Red' for years now, I don't think she'd even remember to respond to anything else."

"Red," Regina continues. She reaches forward to grasp Red's hand just as the sounds of the angry crowds begin to be heard coming from the forest. "I'd like to help you, if you'll let me. You and your grandmother shall live as my guests inside the castle walls and I ask only that you repay me with the same loyalty I've shown you on this day."

"Of course." Regina's grin grows and she squeezes Red's hand once more before climbing onto the chestnut horse behind her. She's about to spur the animal on when Red finally manages to find her voice once more, stepping forward and daring to reach out to brush a gloved hand over the now snow-drenched ends of the Queen's dress. "Wait! Why… why are you doing this for me? I killed that boy, they had every right–"

"A young girl who can defend herself against the most fearsome of men, by turning into an animal without the use of magic no less. Child, you are nothing short of a miracle, you are the very best of assets, and now you are my friend." Regina turns her head to look out at the people appearing between the trees, her sweet smile turning vicious as she watches them try to push past her guards. She glances back at Red and winks. "And I think we're going to have some fun, you and I."

She rides off without so much as another word, a flurry of white and brown in the blowing winds, leaving Red to scramble onto a horse, reaching down to help pull Granny on behind her. The royal party is long, heavy with guards and the Queen's personal court and Red easily gets lost among the trail of people who ride tirelessly into the night until they pass the border of her land and into the snow-free forests of Regina's land, reaching the fields that surround a looming castle well past midnight. Who else is in the party or how large it actually is, Red doesn't know, but she can't help but wonder if this was the regular retainer for the monarch, if she had expected a fight upon her journey, or if she was just picking Red up on her way home from somewhere. Red's never felt so exhausted in her life as she steps down from the horse and takes in the sight of towers and lights from the villagers, the last few days finally catching up with her.

A young blonde boy appears seemingly out of nowhere, dressed in a dark green doublet embroidered with gold stitching. He's handsome enough but Red can make out the long scars on his neck despite the high collar he wears, vicious marks on an otherwise idyllic young man.

"The Queen has asked me to escort you to your new lodgings. She's asked that we be as discreet as possible." She can't identify his accent and he doesn't smile or even meet their eyes, but Red decides she likes this nameless boy who takes the few bags they have and walks them along the moonlit passages of the village that is encompassed by the large walls.

He stops in front of a modest home, one Red can imagine goes unnoticed by most who pass with its position backed into a corner against the curved wall of the city limits and the tower that marks the beginning of the royal courtyard, blocked off from those who were not permitted. As they enter he immediately begins the task of lighting the candles littered around the room, frowning as he watches Granny attend to the fire.

"I've been told to get you settled–"

"What's your name, boy?"

The blonde seems taken aback by the request, briefly looking at Red as if to ask for help. "Abel, ma'am."

"And where are you from, Abel?"

"The northern border."

"Well, Abel, you can tell the Queen and anyone from your village back home that women from our forest start their own fires."

After successfully starting a roaring fire, Granny takes their bags from where he's set them down and proceeds to unpack the few things they've brought, leaving Red to help Abel take the shutters down from the windows. Spring has come early to this land, unlike Red's own up in the mountains where the snow is still knee deep.

"Why is the Queen doing this for us?" she asks quietly as the stoic boy heads towards the entrance. He turns and faces her with his hands behind his back, standing at attention whenever she speaks but still evading her gaze. "I was set to die… how did she even know?"

"The Queen has more or less told me that she's started to become aware that making her own allegiances within the kingdom would be in her best interest, but she wants to maintain her… friends outside that of this kingdom's knowledge and social circles."

"The Queen's recruiting teenage girls for a secret army?" she asks as Granny walks over to accept the key from Abel's grasp.

"She sees great potential in you. As far as how she heard about your impending trial… well, they say she has a friend who… who is very astute in the search for power." He leaves with a curt nod of his head and is stalking down the dark alleyway.

"His scar looks just like yours," Red breathes as her grandmother steps forward to lock the door once more. "Granny, was he–"

"Yes." She turns on spot and walks over to grasp Red's forearms, forcing her granddaughter to maintain her gaze. "Red, we have to be careful."

"Why didn't you tell me? Peter would still be alive if you–"

"I know. And I am so sorry. But we have much more to worry about now." Her look is steely and it frightens Red to no end, her already frayed nerves at their peak from three days of constant agitation. "The Queen has all but bought you with what she did today. She promises to train you, to help you with the wolf. She claims to know someone within the city who is a wolf. But you cannot trust her, Red."

"Not like you, right, Granny?" she asks, tearing her arms from the older woman's hold and stepping further into the room. "You've certainly never given me a reason to not trust you, after all. How long have you kept this from me? How many people have I killed over the years?"

"Do not be foolish. You can't afford it here. She says you are her friend, but you're her prisoner, make no mist–"

Three days of trauma and upheaval (and the fact that she is only sixteen years of age) have her running out of the small multi-purpose room and into the first one she spots with a bed, throwing the door closed behind her, immensely thankful when she hears Granny sigh in an apparent surrender. The moon is still large and looming, even through the small window of her room, leaving the brunette to wrap the cloak more tightly around her. 'Red repels wolves' Granny had said over and over. How stupid could she have been to believe that?

Red is at least somewhat thankful that she doesn't remember being the wolf, too terrified to imagine what Peter's last moments could have been like. It had been her own mistake, for sneaking out with the boy when she had expressly been warned about the dangers of wolves during full moons. If only Red had known she was the one she had to worry about.

She falls into a dreamless, exhausted sleep the moment she collapses onto the bed, curled under her cloak and hoping to awake the next day to find this to all be a confusing, messy nightmare. When she wakes she finds herself in the same bed however, rising to the entirely new sounds of the city rather than the forest noises she was so accustomed to greeting the day with. Red doesn't bother to feign staying mad at her grandmother, despite the fact that she is and Granny knows it. But grudges seemed pointless to her, far too exhausting a thing to carry on one's shoulders.

She deposits her hood and gloves before washing her face and hands in the basin laid out in the hall under an old mirror, glancing at herself in the reflection. She has a prettiness about her, she's always known that – the dark hair, bright eyes, clear skin and slim waist; all perfectly desirable features, features that probably made her the prettiest girl in her village, not that it was much of an accomplishment. Red had grown up her whole life with people excusing her mischief because she could smile her way out of anything.

But the Queen… she was beautiful. Red has only seen her face for a grand total of a minute speaking with the other woman, but every feature is clear in her mind – the warm tone of her skin, the soft brown eyes, the way her clothes hugged her figure despite the brisk weather calling for layers, even the small scar on her upper lip. Red wants nothing more than to know how she got it at this moment, but a knock on their door has her whirling around to share a look with Granny, who checks out the window and sighs before she answers the call.

Regina stands before them, glowing in the early morning light despite the dark red riding clothes she's dressed in. Her hair is brushed away from her face, a braid adorned across the crown of her head to hold it back. She still remains as regal as ever, but the attire has her blending in with the crowds who are starting their days outside, passing the corner house without so much as a second glance. Still, the Queen remains so transfixing that it takes Red a full minute to realize that Abel has stepped into the home behind her, two pails of water in his hands.

"I took you for early risers. Were you comfortable? Abel assures me he stocked the kitchen with whatever you might need for the next few days. And that even if he hadn't, he said you seemed as if you could make do on your own."

"Being self-reliant is something we learn early in our family," Granny replies with an icy gaze. "It's not something we discourage."

"And by all means, you shouldn't. Relying on other people… well, that can get you into a whole mess of trouble." Regina takes a seat at the small round table, looking as comfortable as if she lived there herself. She glances back at Abel, who looks particularly handsome when Red can make out that his eyes match the same forest green of his doublet. "Will you start some water boiling, dear? I could use some tea after such a long night."

The blonde boy nods and sidesteps around Granny to fetch the kettle as she takes a seat across from Regina, leaving Red to awkwardly sit between them. Regina removes her gloves and undoes the buttons of her jacket, draping it over the back of her chair before settling in again. She looks at Red, her charming smile heavy with concern and sympathy.

"This all must be terribly confusing to you. Your grandmother told me that you weren't aware before the… unpleasantness."

Red drops her gaze immediately and it's Granny who eventually fills the silence, explaining the beginning of Red's transformations at the age of twelve and how it prompted her to seek out a cure.

"The cloak?" Granny nods and Regina glances at Abel who promptly retrieves the item in question and brings it over for the Queen's inspection. Red suddenly feels naked as she watches the older woman scrutinize the item she's had for so long and worn nearly every day. "And what did you have to give him in return?"

Red sends Granny a confused look but the matriarch glances away, something Red has never witnessed in her life. Regina spares her further inquiry, nodding in a manner that suggests she understands whatever Granny isn't saying and eventually Red has to force herself to speak. "Who?"

"A man I hope you never have to meet," Regina replies diplomatically, straightening as her blonde helper returns with her tea, reaching for it only to stop herself. "Honey."

"What exactly are your plans with my granddaughter? She's not a mindless soldier–"

"I don't want her to be one. I could tell she was absolutely distraught at that trial – certainly not the mind of a murderer. I wouldn't ever want Red to lose that part of herself." The way the Queen speaks about her, like she's not even in the room but in desperate need to be defended, makes Red's breath catch in her throat and her cheeks darken at the pleading tone. Regina accepts the cup from Abel once again to take a sip of the now-sweetened drink. "But I can tell what potential she has with her unique abilities, all she needs to learn is control. If she can, we can turn this curse into a gift."

"And what would you know about learning to control the wolf?" Granny snaps before Red can embarrass herself by gushing with gratitude towards the monarch.

Regina waits before replying, stirring her tea and taking another delicate drink before speaking. "Abel, show them your scar."

The blonde, who is standing at attention behind Regina, promptly obeys, stripping himself of his doublet and tunic to reveal his marred abdomen. Three vicious scratches extend from the middle of his neck down to just above his navel, each one a good two inches wide at their worst. Red can't help the gasp that slips out as she watches Abel calmly fold his clothes over his forearm before resuming his knightly position behind the Queen.

"Abel's father has a story similar to your own, Red. He was bitten one night in the woods when Abel was four. Fortunately he was aware enough to know what happened to him, and to seek something such as your cloak. He lived safely for ten years until one night in the same woods where he was bitten; his hood fell off while he was sleeping."

Regina takes another sip of her beverage, whether for dramatic pause or actual need for a drink, Red doesn't know. "He killed his wife, but his son had managed to gut him with a silver-tipped arrow as he lunged at him. I was on a stroll through the forest the next morning when I found Abel and his father. I managed to keep Abel alive and aid his father in his training, for which his father is indebted to me. He will help Red control the wolf."

"How did he learn to control it?" Red asks, eyes still on the ridged skin that blemished Abel's chest.

"Unfortunately Jackson didn't have the luxury of a pack, so we had to find an alternate method by injecting wolfsbane into his blood during the full moons. It's not something I'd wish on you." Regina glances at Red and follows her line of vision before motioning for Abel to redress, standing from her seat as he does. "I wish I could stay longer, but my absence will be felt if I do. I'll take this time to remind you that for the time being this must remain secret, I'm sure you can come up with a discreet tale to fill your neighbors in on your sudden arrival, but please remain as unmentionable as possible. Like anyone in the Queen's Army you shall receive a stipend while you train that will leave you more than comfortable, I'm sure."

"When will I see you again?"

Regina slows the brisk pace she's adopted with her movements as she puts her jacket on once more, that lovely smile returning to her lips as she looks to Red. "Soon. Abel will keep my updated on your progress and will happily relay any messages you need to give me. If all goes well with your training, I expect we will be seeing a lot of each other. Abel will be by this evening to take you to your training. Be sure to rest, I imagine it will be a long night."

Their first day is spent exploring the marketplace upon Red's insistence and Granny's reluctant need to fill their new home with a few things. Red is instantly taken with the sight of hundreds of people, traders and laborers and even the occasional diplomat. The experience is enough to take Red's mind off the last few days and her anxiety about her future within castle walls.

At midday there's a noticeable increase of guards and a hush among the crowd as a young girl in a shimmering green dress walks through the square, the people of the kingdom giving her a wide berth as she passes. The rush dies as the crowd stops to watch the raven-haired girl as she talks to the various village children who run up to meet her.

"The Princess?"

"Must be," Granny nods, returning her eyes to the produce she was scrutinizing.

Red shifts the basket in her arms as she studies the girl. She is clearly well loved and doesn't look to be much older than Red if she was at all, though she carries herself like a girl who never knew tragedy. "Regina can't be her mother."

"I'd gather that Regina isn't that much older than you and she certainly doesn't look like she's had any children." Fruits selected, she pays the man behind the stall and tugs on Red's sleeve until she tears her eyes away from the young princess. "I think I remember hearing a few years ago about this king's wife dying. Regina must be his second."

"What do you think Regina's reasons are for helping me? You obviously don't trust her, but why?"

"Because I know people, Red. And there's something dark in her. Whatever she has planned for you, you have to know that she's not doing any of this out of the goodness of her heart." Granny stops and turns unexpectedly, almost causing Red to crash into her. "Promise me you'll remember that, Red."

"I will, Granny."

When they return to their quaint home they set about drafting plans to make it their own, Granny immediately pulling out the yards of fabric she's purchased so she can start on valences and a tablecloth while Red rearranges the furniture to suit them better. Early in the afternoon she takes a nap at Granny's insistence and when she wakes it's a flurry of activity of forcing her to eat before Abel hurries her out the door, setting a brisk pace as they walk that Red, with her long legs, can barely keep up with.

"Do you know what I'm in for with this training?"

"No, I don't know what my father has planned."

"So you don't change then?" Abel shakes his head and takes a sharp right at an intersection of streets, leaving her to scramble to stay in step. "What exactly is your title here?"

"The Queen asked the King to make me one of his wards, though I'm mostly at her disposal rather than his. He already has squires and enough numbers for hunting parties, and I don't have noble blood so I don't think I'm often considered."

"That's terrible."

"The King is a loathsome man, I'm grateful for what he's done for me but I'm even more thankful that I don't have to spend much time with him."

Red blinks in surprise, trying to think back to any time she had heard about this kingdom and its rulers, though she can't remember much. They continue walking down a dark, abandoned alley that seems to head straight for the outer wall but Abel doesn't change direction nor slow his pace.

"Why did the Queen marry him then?"

Breaking his stoic demeanor but not his stride, the blonde sends her a look of bewilderment. "Do noble women have a choice in your land?"

It had never crossed her mind, to be quite frank. Village women certainly had their choice if they were lucky, but if they became too old the burden for their livelihood would fall upon generally unwilling fathers. She supposes women of noble houses probably didn't have the particular luxury of that particular fate.

"I guess they don't. Other than taxes we didn't have much to do with our rulers." She begins to slow her pace as they come close to the wall, but even with the looming shadow settling over them as they drew near she can make out the black door set in the stone. Abel pulls a key out of his pocket and unlocks it, holding it open to allow her through before closing it behind them and leading her down the narrow passage. "Is she nice? The Queen?"

"She's the most generous woman I know."

"And your father?"

"As he can hear us right now, I will undoubtedly be giving you both a biased and influenced opinion."

Red can hear something down the dimly lit hall, a noise she can't quite make out due to the distance but one that confirms the presence of another person and it has goose bumps running down her arms. They walk for a good minute at their rushed pace, the slight incline leading them well below surface level until they come to a thick, vault-like door. Abel produces another key and then turns the large lock until it clicks and the steel door opens into a large, circular room that extends upwards past a balcony on the second floor and into darkness.

A giant, towering, mountain of a man stands in the middle of the room, course blonde hair covering his head and face, steely blue eyes already inspecting Red. The stare is so penetrating that she automatically takes a step back, only to feel Abel's hand appear from behind his back and lightly settle on hers before pushing her forward gently.

"You're the one the Queen wants trained."

"You're the one the Queen trained," she replies at once and it doesn't quite earn her a laugh, but at the very least a softened look from the intimidating older man.

"I will be trying to teach you to control the wolf but I've never had such a task before, so don't expect the results to be immediate. During the rest of the month you will come here to practice self-defense, as per the Queen's request."

"Self-defense?"

"You won't always have the moon to help you." He looks behind her and nods to his son, causing the boy to immediately turn on foot and head back out the door, the locks sliding back into place as he resets them. Red reaches for the string holding her cloak closed but in an instant Jackson is in front of her, his large hand engulfing her own. "Not until my son is gone."

"Of course, I'm sorry." She watches as he calmly walks back to the center of the room, at his broad shoulders and large frame. He and Abel look similar, but Abel is still slim and shorter than even Red, and he lacks his father's steely blue eyes. Still, she can imagine that a few growth spurts will leave the quiet, young boy in such a state. "How did you move so quickly?"

"You'll find that your wolf blood will keep you faster and stronger than others," he glances over, "even when there isn't a full moon. But not if you're wearing that."

Red unconsciously runs her fingers over the hem of hood. "I don't know how to control it yet. The wolf."

"I know. That's why I'm here." Red blushes as his exasperated tone. "I don't know how we should go about this, but my best bet is that we'll have better luck as the wolf. Just try to keep focus."

That's the last thing Red remembers as she wakes up the next morning in a room off the great circular one. Her cloak is draped over the side of the bed and there's noise coming from outside her door. When she opens it she finds Abel and Jackson at a table set up in the middle of the room, a buffet of breakfast items laid out. Red doesn't hesitate before loading up a plate, feeling not only exhausted and sore but also unbelievably hungry.

"Do you remember anything?" Jackson asks after he finishes his own meal. When Red shakes her head, he nods his. "Well, you calmed down eventually. We'll try again next month. See you here tomorrow morning, we'll start with some sparring."

"I'm not going to have to fight him, am I?" Red asks as she reaches for one of the brightly colored jams laid out.

Abel actually cracks a smile as he slices more ham. "No, I'll be helping you."

Three months pass and every day is like the one before, but it doesn't discourage Red. If anything it's liberating, the more she learns to keep the wolf in check, to the point where they take their lessons to the forest as Jackson begins to trust that she won't break free and ravage a nearby village. She begins to have little conscious thought as she follows the other wolf through the maze of trees, sometimes stumbling upon a den of others whom they spend the night hunting with.

Those long nights are a treat compared to her days spent sparring with the two blondes. Red has never been particularly graceful or coordinated, but she manages to impress Jackson with her patience all the same. Years of hunting have her excelling in long-range tactics but despite her height, speed, and strength, Abel is still able to easily take her out when she gets within a foot of the young boy.

She hasn't seen Regina since their first morning in the kingdom and Abel has yet to deliver any messages from the Queen, but the absence only seems to invigorate Red more. She pushes back every day harder in the hopes of impressing Regina through Abel's reports to her, which he assures Red she most definitely asks about on a regular basis.

Today she's actually gaining the upper hand on the more battle-ready boy, the impending full moon making her feel like there's a fire in her stomach fueling her. Red's actually having fun despite her bruised and battered body, and when Abel charges at her at a full run she actually smiles because it's easy for her to now sidestep the boy and send him flying down the ground, her forearm bearing down on his chest before he can so much as open his eyes to look up at her.

Red knows something's different because Jackson is usually immediate with his critiques on what has gone wrong for whichever party has lost, but he's silent and it has her glancing around to ensure he had been watching. His blue eyes are craned upwards toward the balcony overlooking them from the second floor and Red follows his gaze, shocked to find Regina and an older man staring down at them.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," is all Regina offers with her warm smile before she turns and walks out of Red's line of sight, the man following close behind her and their steps echoing through the cavernous space until the sound of a heavy door closing cuts them off.

By the end of the summer months Red manages to gain control over the wolf with Jackson's help. He had remained at her side, keeping her in check as Red became more and more aware of herself when she was her four-legged self until he finally gave her more freedom to take over without his watching. To remind herself of her humanity as the wolf comes out, Red takes to continuously repeating simple things in her head, good and bad, as she races through the forest, not trying to fight the wolf but to keep her own thoughts above her instincts.

My name is Red. My seventeenth name day is in a week's time. I live with my grandmother. We live near the palace. My parents are dead. I am a werewolf. I have been for almost five years. I killed Peter. The Queen saved me. Regina saved me. Regina trained me. I owe Regina my life. My name is Red. My seventeenth name day is in a week's time…

They don't celebrate per se, but when Red arrives for training one day Jackson congratulates her and tells her that she'll no longer be his student, though he will happily join her for a run once a month. Abel smiles and nods when she asks for the occasional sparring session, but just as she's about to inquire if they knew what Regina's plans for her were, the woman appears behind her, seemingly out of nowhere.

Red flounders for a moment until Jackson, already on bended knee, grabs her shoulder and pulls her to the ground to kneel to the Queen.

"Please, I think the four of us are past such formalities." Regina, dressed in a rich purple gown with her hair pulled back into an up do, holds her hands out to Red, holding them even after she stands. "I'm so happy for you, Red."

"I'm not sure I know how to begin to express my gratitude to you, your Maj – Regina. Really, I'm truly thankful for everything you've done." She goes for it, despite the major lack of propriety it shows and how embarrassing it is, but Red can't help but to reach forward and hug this woman who's done so much for her. Regina laughs in her ear in return, smiling brightly when Red pulls away.

"Come, let's go for a walk. I think it's time you had a tour of the palace, no?"

Despite Regina's need for discretion, Red soon finds herself looking over the balcony and into the courtyard watching the members of the royal court mingle. No one notices them however, and the raven-haired woman's path to their location had been through a series of twisting hallways. The people below wouldn't even be able to make them out from where they stood and they all seem too preoccupied to care.

"Red, I'd like to confide in you something that I don't often share."

Red blinks her hazel eyes, tearing hear gaze away from the fine clothes the diplomats below wore. "I'd be honored."

Regina gives her a small smile but her face turns somber as she looks back out at her kingdom, her arm still encircled with Red's and her free hand resting on the younger girl's bicep. "I'm not happy. I haven't been for a long time. Not since before I moved to the palace."

The brunette lets the silence sit for a moment, mostly because the barely constrained tone the Queen had used has her throat tightening. "Abel told me that you didn't want this marriage. That the King is terrible to you."

"I was in love with someone a long time ago, when I wasn't much older than you are yourself. Engaged to him. One day I helped a young girl when she was in trouble – saved her life. That girl turned out to be a princess." Regina's grip on her arm tightens. "Her father the King rewarded me with a marriage proposal and my mother accepted on my behalf when I wouldn't."

"That's terrible." Red reaches up to cover the hand on her arm with her own as she looks back out to watch the King as he stands with a group of advisors.

"That's not even the end," The Queen replies hollowly. "I knew I couldn't convince my mother otherwise so I decided to run away with my love. Snow discovered this and despite promising to keep it to herself, she told my mother. Needless to say we didn't get to leave."

"And your fiancé? What happened to him?"

"My mother killed him. She was a very powerful woman and she… she ripped his heart out in front of me and crushed it." Her mouth purses but her voice remains firm as she continues, "I left that part out when Snow asked, told her that Daniel had just run off. And she rejoiced. Because that meant she got a new mother."

Red can't say anything for a long time as her eyes take in the young girl across the way, black hair braided with vibrant yellow flowers. She's disgusted as she watches the Princess laugh in a carefree way with the people of the court falling over themselves to join her. Regina must feel her tense because when she continues it's in a soothing voice.

"It's been… hell, living here all these years. Being married to him and living with her. My father is the only one I can trust. But I'd like that to change." Red blinks and turns to meet her rich eyes. "Red, all I'm offering is my unwavering friendship and loyalty in the hope that you'll do the same. If you have any doubts about me then you can say no, you and your grandmother can continue living here if you should choose and, to earn your keep, you can assist Jackson when it is needed."

"No," Red says immediately shaking her head slightly and swallowing before she looks out at the crowd again. "Regina, there's nothing I want more than to help you after all you've done for me. You're the kindest woman I know and what these people have done to you… it's not right."

Regina gives a relieved laugh with her smile, reaching over to embrace the young girl and hold her tightly. "Thank you. It's… it's such an amazing weight off my shoulders to know that I have someone I can rely on." She pulls away, her grin even wider and more beautiful than before. "Now that you're in control of your gift, we'll be able to see each other much more."

"I thought you didn't want anyone to know about me," Red replies with a bashful laugh as Regina once again leads her through the castle.

"I just don't want them to know of your abilities and our friendship, dear. So all we need is a cover, and I think you'll be able to help me with the one I have in mind." Regina grins up at her and squeezes her arm as they descend a deserted staircase. "How would you like to join the royal party on a trip back to your kingdom?"

"Red, you cannot leave with her. You don't know a thing about this woman or what she has planned for you."

Red stares down distastefully at the lemon cake on her plate, no longer wishing to rip into the sweet name day treat Granny always makes for her. She knows she'll find her appetite later tonight when her grandmother has gone to bed, but for some reason it makes her furious that she's no longer hungry now because of the foul mood Granny had put her in when Red had excitedly shared the news of her impending trip. She was going to the palace made of gold that she had heard so much about in her land, the great capitol that they as far-off villagers were likely never to see, and yet Granny didn't seem to find it something to be happy about.

"I know I owe her a debt that I'll never be able to repay."

"That's the point, Red," Granny snaps from the other side of the room where she's cleaning the plates. "You don't think she knows that? You don't think that was her plan all along? You're putting her on a pedestal and that is exactly what she wants."

"I'm going, Granny." Red stands from her chair and tries to look defiant, picking up on the sound of Abel's familiar confident stride approaching in the quiet street outside. "She has done nothing but show me kindness and generosity when I didn't deserve it, and she's not asking for anything in return that I don't want to happily give."

"There is something dark in that woman, Red. There is. She's not what she–"

Three sharp raps on the door announce the blonde boy and Red is gone in an instant, leaving him to quickly jog to catch up after she breezes by him.

"I hope you're having a happy name day."

"Yeah, it's going really well if that wasn't clear."

"I'm sure adding to my collection of bruises will undoubtedly lift your spirits – my gift to you, by the way." Jokes from Abel are so rare that Red finds herself smiling despite her sullen mood. He stops her suddenly on one of the few brightly lit intersections on their path, usually a street they sped through, and hands her a small red box. "And the Queen wanted me to give you this. She's sorry she couldn't meet with you today to give it to you herself."

She bites her lip to keep the excited smile off her face but can't help herself from practically snatching the parcel out of his hand. She removes the lid to reveal a gold bangle littered with small diamonds and rubies that form a web of connecting flowers around the bracelet.

"Gods." She glances up as if to make sure this isn't a joke, her fingers running over the gems. "I don't think I've ever held anything so expensive in my life. This could have fed my village for a year."

"The Queen is very generous," Abel agrees, his dark green eyes looking black in the shadows as he steps away. "Come, we'll be late."

"You want me to falsify this girl's name? Regina, she's a villager. What would it look like if my nobleman's "daughter" behaved like an uncivilized farmer in front of the Princess?"

"She's not a bumbling simpleton, Abigail," Regina replies exasperatedly. She and Midas' daughter seem to get along quite well, and it's not hard for Red to see why, with their similar temperaments and dry humor. She should probably be offended by what the blonde is saying, but Red knows she has this princess to thank for her release from an angry mob. "Just pick one of the houses from the southern border, hardly anyone keeps track of the mountain folk. Leopold knows he has to start bringing her out to society more, he will accept."

"And how do you know that? You know how protective he is of Snow."

"Because I will plant the seed in her little head and she'll beg him for the chance to make a new friend her own age. He never denies her a thing."

Abigail sighs and leans back on the chaise lounge, blue eyes moving over to inspect Red far less invasively than they had when Red had first arrived. "Well, she's pretty at least, that will help make it an easy sell – well-groomed, good posture. Can she hold a conversation? Do hair? What about wait on someone? You look like you're from a working house."

"I am," Red says slowly, eyebrows furrowing. "What exactly is all of this about?"

"You're going to become one of Snow's handmaidens–"

"Lady-in-waiting," Abigail stresses. "Honestly, Regina. Don't fall into those bad eastern habits, it's heartbreaking."

"You'll essentially be the King's ward, but you'll serve Snow. It's considered to be a great honor for lesser houses to have their children fostered at a higher ranking house, let alone a king from a neighboring land."

"And why are you helping me… again?" Red asks as she looks over to the blonde.

"Because you were, and still are I suppose, a citizen of my kingdom and I just love to help the needy."

"What she means is that she owes me for introducing her to her beloved."

"And she never lets me forget it." Abigail rises, the pale violet gown she has on bringing out her golden hair and bright eyes. "I'm less worried about tasks she'll have to complete than her ability to not slip up. We best give her a backstory she can follow that will pass both my father and your husband's curiosity. And the name will have to be changed, there's nothing noble about 'Red', is there?"

They spend the night plotting the backstory for 'Ruby' ("I suppose that will do, though I'm shocked at your lack of creativity, Regina."), Abigail having chosen some minor lord from the mountains that lined her land's most southern border. She covers his family's lineage should she need to explain it, and she and Regina help her with the basic rules of etiquette and common practices of the courts.

A few days later she's walking a step behind Abigail into her castle's throne room, mimicking the way the blonde holds herself and strides confidently across the floor. Regina is standing near the throne smiling warmly and Red's so caught up for a moment that she almost walks into Abigail, who stops in front of the young dark-haired girl dressed in blue.

"Princess Snow, I'd like to introduce you to Lady Ruby, the daughter of my dear friend Lord Comstock of Crestmore."

She steps out of the way and suddenly Red feels exposed in front of the small group of people in the room, barely remembering to curtsy before the Princess.

"Your majesty," she breathes, nearly kicking herself for not sounding more enthusiastic.

"Ruby." Snow's voice is warm and brimming with a sweetness that has Red's stomach turning. She reaches for Red's hands, bringing the up to hold them between each other, eyes tinted bright blue by the colors she wore and the sun shining off the gold walls. "Regina has told me so much about you. I'm sure we'll be the best of friends."

"There's nothing I could want more," Red replies with the best smile she can muster, stiffening a little when the shorter girl reaches over to hug her; though she finds a confidence boost in the encouraging, proud grin Regina gives her over her stepdaughter's shoulder. "This is an honor, truly."

"For me as well. I was hoping you'd spend the day with us, so we could get to know one another better before we depart back to my land. I'm sure you'll love it there."

"I'm sure I will."

As the day wears on, Red soon finds that this assignment from Regina is going to be much tougher than she expected. Maybe it's her own bias, but she finds the Princess is impossibly irritating – haughty and naïve all at once, like a child who has yet to learn any lesson life has to give. She speaks of her land and her father, who is off meeting with Abigail's before they leave, as if they were perfect and untouched by the faintest bit of darkness, even through the political discourse Abigail and Regina discuss. The girl is barely three months younger than Red but she seems more immature, whether due to her upbringing or her own personality, Red can't tell.

She's thankful Regina and Abigail stay with them as they walk through the gardens because Red feels sure she's going to slip up at any moment. But the two older women keep the conversation going, sparing Red from the awkward silences continuously brought on by her own disinterest in the person she's speaking to, as well as the utter lack of ability to lavish endless compliments on shrubbery like royalty can.

At some point a handsome man appears walking from the lake and Abigail excuses herself to join her suitor, a handsome, dark-haired knight who she's informed is named Frederick. Red is wary for a brief moment, but watches as Regina, though with obviously concealed disdain and boredom, slips seamlessly into the role of a doting-but-distant stepparent to the young princess.

"You're too kind to arrange for Ruby to join us at the castle, Regina."

"I know you don't care for the ladies you have at the court now, dear." Red glances over Snow's head to look at Regina, but she remains staring straightforward, shoulders back and hands delicately folded together above her stomach as they walk. "Abigail has gushed about Ruby for so long, I'm sure she'll make an excellent addition to our kingdom."

"You don't know how much of a blessing your presence will be. I've been going crazy these past few months; I'm desperate for some new faces." She practically walks with a skip in her step, dark curls shining in the sun. She's pretty enough, Red can admit that much, but there was still enough to set her firmly in the awkwardness of adolescence – the baby fat that has yet to disappear and the sometimes disjointed way she moves her arms, as if she was still getting used to their reach and weight. Snow's grown since Red saw her last though, and she can see that another growth spurt will leave the Princess desirable to a T to men from other kingdoms. Not that she holds a torch to Regina. "I can't wait to show you the gardens. Regina keeps them the envy of all the lands."

The three come to a stop at the end of the trail rather than choosing to follow its turn to take them around the border of the forest, instead looking out at the well kept rolling hills, still lush despite the ever-changing autumn weather. The brunette's head whips over as she watches Snow reach over to take Regina's arm, a content smile on her face while Regina stands unmoving in her grasp.

"This almost looks like a bigger version of your father's estate, doesn't it?"

Red bristles at the comment, almost taken aback by the carefree way in which Snow gives the remark, as if it were a happy memory shared between the two members of the royal household. Regina takes it in stride though, voice clear and direct if not a little tight.

"Yes, there's quite a similarity. It's why I enjoy visiting so often."

"So do father and I."

"Well, I wouldn't dream of leaving the kingdom without your father, dear." Red can see it then, the veil Regina holds so tightly giving way for a moment as her eyes betray a moment of rage, staring out at the idyllic scene as if wishing a tornado would rip it away. She thinks she sees Snow's smile falter for a second, like she too senses the minute shift, but it returns in force when she speaks again.

"Regina saved my life, you know," she says to Red and now that they're closer the taller girl can see that the eyes she thought were a bright blue were actually a shifting mix of that and green, changing with every deviation of the light. "When I was younger we were travelling near her father's home and I lost control of my horse. I thought I was going to die but Regina came charging out of nowhere and saved me. It was like a story."

She turns back to give Regina a look of heavy admiration that Regina returns with a strained smile. Before the Princess can continue footsteps coming from behind them grab their attention, and the group turns to find the two Kings approaching. They bow in unison as their arrival and Red ensures to keep her eyes averted.

"You must be Ruby. Midas' daughter has assured me that you will be a wonderful addition to our court."

"It will be an honor, your majesty," Red replies, lifting her gaze but not allowing it to move past his chin.

"I'm afraid I haven't seen your father for many years, I must admit I forgot he even had a daughter your age. I would love for him to visit the court."

Resisting the urge to look to Regina for help, Red wracks her brain for an appropriate reply to Midas, her voice wavering as she stumbles over her words. "With my father's advanced age it's needless to say that my birth was a surprise to our house." It earns her the polite laugh that all politicians seem to adopt and it relieves her enough that she can breathe a little more easily. "He regrets that he isn't able to see your majesty more, but unfortunately his health and the long trip from the mountains keep him from visiting the court more often."

"Of course, I hope you'll send him my regards."

"I have an excellent feeling about Ruby, father. I just know we'll be lifelong friends." Snow sends her a brilliant smile that Red manages to return.

"As long as you're happy, dear Snow, I am happy." Leopold reaches over to cradle his daughter's jaw in his hands, smiling fondly. "Midas, is it only a father's prerogative that has me believing my daughter is the most beautiful woman in all the lands?"

Abigail's father looks at his counterpart critically but gives a friendly grin nonetheless. "I feel much the same about both my wife and Abigail. I'm a blessed man."

"Yes, we both are. Daughters are the greatest gift that could be given." Leopold smiles jovially, but Red can tell the other members of the party most definitely pick up on the snub to his queen, though it seems unintentional. Still, she can't help but admire the discreet look Midas sends Regina, even if she's staring blankly past her husband's shoulder and doesn't return it. "Come, Snow, Midas insists that I at least do his nephew and cousins the courtesy of presenting you to them."

Snow laughs and nods, stepping away from her father's grasp to turn to Red. "Will you join me?"

"Ruby should ensure that she's ready for the long trip tomorrow," Regina begins, glancing back out to the path that leads into the forest, "and I would like to continue my walk. If she would be so kind to join me, I'd love to get to know Ruby better."

"Of course. She'll ride back with us in the carriage though, won't she?" Regina nods as she meets Snow's eyes again and Snow's smile brightens in response before she reaches to squeeze Red's hand once again. "Then I shall see you tomorrow, Ruby Comstock of Crestmore."

The two parties go their separate ways, Snow and the Kings heading back towards the castle. Regina and Red walk in silence until the reach the tree-lined path that hides them from view, the branches forming a canopy over them and the sun coming in dappled bursts through the leaves.

"I can't do this, Regina."

"Of course you can, Red."

"She's the silliest person I've ever met. How do you put up with her all day?" Regina gives a small laugh, but Red continues to stress her point, "She's vapid and annoying a-a-and selfish. 'Doesn't this look like the place where we took your life from you, stepmother?' You must have the patience of a saint."

"It's not easy," Regina admits, the pale pink dress she wears making her tan skin glow even on their shaded path. "Sometimes I think I can trick myself into believing I could see her as my daughter."

"And then?"

"And then her father exercises his marital rights as my husband and I remember that she's the reason I have to endure it." Regina speaks in a droll, matter-of-fact voice but Red thinks she finds that sadder than she would if the Queen had broken down crying during the confession.

"I don't know how I can help, Regina," Red admits, pulling the shorter woman to a halt so she can face her, her own expression lost and helpless.

"You're helping me now, Red, just by being here. And you can help me with Snow. Stay close with her, get her to trust and confide in you so I can feel safe in my own home. I'll be setting things in motion soon enough."

"And then you'll be free?"

"Yes," Regina smiles and reaches up to touch Red's cheek. "Then I will be free. And I'll have my loyal friends at my side when I am."

"What's going to become of them? Snow and her father?"

Regina's hand drops to hold both of Red's, squeezing gently before running her thumbs over the younger girl's knuckles. "I don't know yet. But… I expect it may be messy."

"And what will my role be?" She asks despite being terrified of the answer. Red doesn't remember Peter's death, but that doesn't stop her mind from recreating it a hundred times over in nightmares. She hates the King. She hates Snow. But her conscience is already heavy. "Is that why you trained me? To kill them?"

"Red, no," Regina insists as she stares imploringly at her. "I had you trained so you could feel more secure in this environment, so you could live a normal life without fear of what you could do as the wolf." Her eyes leave Red's for a moment to look over her shoulder into the forest. Red thinks she sees her nod before Regina takes her arm again, leading them slowly down the path once more. "I promise you that you will always have a say in what I ask you to do, Red. And regicide seems like quite a bit for even a queen to ask of someone."

They walk in silence together for a few more moments as the path opens into a crossroad, a large lake appearing at the end of the trail they're on now. Regina stops them in the center, opening her mouth to speak once more only to close it and furrow her eyebrows as she glances in the direction of fast-moving steps approaching them.

"Kane?" Red looks over to the man walking towards them from the East, recognizing him as King Leopold's steward, only noticing the dagger in his hand when he's less than a foot away. "What in the world–"

Before Red can react, he roughly shoves Regina to the ground, his eyes focused in on the other girl with violent intent. She tries to step away, but the middle-aged man has a hand wrapped around her throat, gaze full of hate but oddly blank and manic at the same time.

"Wolf," he says monotonously, the knife in his hand rising to hover over Red's stomach. "Freak."

Despite his hold on her throat, it proves to be weirdly easy to throw him off her, sending the dagger flying. She scrambles to reach it before he gets to his feet again, sending a wild look to Regina who's only just pulling herself up from the ground. Kane shows himself to be quicker, however, once again briskly walking towards the shapeshifter with the same set stare. Red holds the knife out, months of training leaving her brain in an instant.

"Red, don't–" She doesn't, she really doesn't. At least she doesn't think she does. It all happens in an instant, the man all but walks into the blade and before she can blink there's blood on her hands and Kane is staring lifelessly at her before collapsing on the path. She falls to her knees near the man as Regina rushes to her side, pulling her away from the body.

"Don't get any more blood on you." At Regina's arrival Red allows her bloodstained, shaking hands to be wiped on the man's cloak, unable to take her gaze away from the dagger sticking out of her attacker's abdomen.

"He was coming at me," Red insists as if it were an accusation Regina was throwing at her rather than a practical command. "He was going to kill me." Regina doesn't respond, just continues to rid any evidence from Red with clear intent and her silence nearly drives the girl to hysterics. "Regina, we have to tell someone, we-we-we have to tell them that he came after me–"

"And who would believe that? The word of young girl from a lowly house in another kingdom isn't likely to hold up against the King's longtime advisor and friend." Red can't stop the sob that leaves her throat, her stomach twisting and turning as the forest around her seems to spin. Upon hearing the noise Regina drops Red's hands and holds her cheeks, forcing Red's watery hazel eyes to hold her gaze. "If they find out you did this–"

"It was self-defense! He was in some… some kind of trance. You saw him! He was going–"

"All they will see is a loyal subject who was butchered by an unheard of girl from Midas' kingdom." Butchered. The word bounces around her head and she has to close her eyes because the view of the corpse in her peripherals is making her sick. "If they know that you are at all involved with this, they will start digging, Red. They will find not only that you lied about your name and your rank, but that Abigail and I aided you in doing so. They will take you back to my kingdom for a trial and they will find out who you really are – what you really are, and they will not believe the word of a person who can turn into a vicious beast."

"I killed him," she whispers out loud, more to herself than Regina. Butchered. Vicious. She sobs again, this time accompanying it with the tears that were blurring her vision. "Oh, Gods, Regina what have I done? How did he know about the wolf?"

"I don't know." Regina is as calm as she's ever appeared, her thumbs brushing the tears away from her cheeks. She leans over and presses a kiss to Red's forehead and when she pulls back once again, her rich eyes warm and comforting, Red immediately feels the shaking subside. "But we have to hope no one else does and deal with this for now."

"I c-can't," Red stutters through a shuddering breath. The thought of touching Kane again now that he's lifeless seems like an impossible thing for her to command herself to do. She had seen him with his children running around the town square only two weeks ago and now he was dead by her hand.

"Okay. It's okay. You have nothing to worry about, Red, not while I'm here. I'll help you." Regina straightens and stands, pulling Red up with her, glancing around them before she urgently continues, "You need to go and find Abel – he should be at the stables checking the horses for tomorrow's journey. Tell him where to meet me and then go to the castle. Make sure that people see you. Can you do that?"

Red nods and reaches up to try to smooth out the front of her dress, checking to ensure that no stray drops from the attack have marred her dress. She wishes she had her hood with her, missing the protective extra layer she could use to hide away from the world. She has Regina though, standing like a pillar of serenity in a mess of chaos.

"I'll send for you tonight, Red. These next few hours will be hard, but you have to hold your head high and move on – just like you did with Peter." Butchered. Vicious. Just like you did with Peter. "You made a terrible mistake and it cost someone their life, but you're still here and you will move on and I will help you, Red. Just as you're helping me."

Red nods but a strangled noise escapes her throat as the gratitude she feels towards this woman builds. This beautiful, kind, loving, tortured woman who was picking Red up after a terrible time in her life just as she had done for herself when her only a few years ago when her own future spiraled out of her control. She wants to thank her, wants to do so much more if she's honest with herself, but instead Red just briskly walks away and follows her orders, running behind the long row of stables so as not to be seen until she spots Abel grooming the King's horse.

She strides back into the castle, a golden palace that has managed to seem elegant rather than gaudy which is something she still marvels at, walking seamlessly and unnoticed amongst the crowds. She realizes something with startling clarity: it has only been fifteen minutes since she was being greeted by the two Kings on the garden path with Regina and Snow. In that time she has not only killed someone, she's increased the looming imbalance in her relationship with Regina. Another tragedy averted because the Queen has bestowed her loyalty to Red.

It's shockingly easy for Red to slip into Ruby's character, her cloak for the moment, especially her own constant reminder that Regina has done so much for her and promises to do more. So it's Ruby who laughs easily with Abigail's handmaidens, who ignores the advances of leering knights and noblemen, and who acts as if nothing is amiss when Regina returns to the throne room, Abel following closely behind in a different doublet than he had been wearing earlier.

The food is brought into the throne room for their final feast and Red finds herself seated in the middle of the large golden table, but from where's sitting next to Abel she can't see Regina that well at the great table set before the throne. Only Snow sitting on the end is in her direct line of sight. Red watches her with interest as Abel is a less than chatty meal companion and she wants desperately to distract herself from thoughts of that afternoon.

Butchered. Vicious. Just like you did with Peter.

She shakes her head of her own sadness only to realize that the Princess doesn't look all-too-pleased herself, nursing a cup of the sweet wine that the servers are passing around, though clearly far less liberally than her stepmother seemed to be drinking judging by the constant need for the servers to stop by and fill it up. And what do you have to be sad about? Red wonders as she stares at the girl, who clearly forces a smile whenever addressed. What could possibly be so wrong in your life?

Throughout the evening Red can pick up on idle chat about Leopold's steward that turns into a full-fledged search party by the time the moon is high – apparently Kane hasn't been seen since early that morning. She's standing in her small closet of a guest room looking out at the Kings who were dividing the party of men and discussing what routes to take when someone knocks at her door, and for a fleeting moment her heart jumps in her throat.

"It's me," Abel's voice comes from the hall.

"I thought you'd be with the party," Red says as she opens the door and follows him through the dark passages of the guests' quarters.

"The King commanded me to attend to the Queen and the Princess."

"Where…" She can't bring herself to finish, her mouth going dry. Abel seems to pick up on what she means with a glance, however.

"The lake."

Red doesn't say anything for a minute and the only sounds she can hear as they climb one of the spiraling staircases to the upper floor are their echoing footsteps. The castle is silent and the halls empty save for the stationary guards every once in awhile.

"Do you… have to do stuff like this often?"

Abel shakes his head, his voice neutral as ever as he responds. "No, not often. I'm training to be a knight, however, so it's not bad to become accustomed to such situations."

"Does it… does it get easier?" Red asks as they near the Queen's room.

"Yes," he concedes in what she assumes is supposed to be a comforting way, but it only makes her stomach turn. "More quickly than you might think."

He knocks and opens the door upon Regina's command to enter, closing it behind Red and leaving the two women in the room. Regina has already prepared for bed, standing at one of the large windows that looks out to the expansive fields, her long hair pulled over one shoulder. Red doesn't know if she'll ever get over the sight of Regina dressed in blinding whites and sheer ivories, the stark colors making her dark features pop as if she were glowing.

She turns to face the brunette as Abel leaves, not hesitating before stepping forward to embrace the girl – a hug that Red immediately finds herself melting into. Regina's so small, fitting so neatly in Red's enveloping arms it's as if she were meant to be there holding Red up. She doesn't even realize she's crying until Regina's whispering soothing things in her ear.

"What if they find him?"

"They won't. At least not while we're here. The King will leave a retainer if he's not found tonight, but we'll be long gone by the time they search the lake." Regina pulls back until she can meet Red's eyes again. "I'll keep you safe, Red."

Red nods and her hands drop from Regina's down to her hips. "I know. I know you will, Regina. I just…" She shakes her head when she can't finish her sentence, trying to calm her shuddering breaths.

Regina gives her a comforting smile and steps back, only to take Red's hand and lead her to the large bed in the center of the room so they can sit on the end of it, her hand sliding up to rub soothing circles on the middle of Red's back. "How are you feeling?"

"The same as I did after Peter. I keep thinking over and over again, "How can you even live with yourself after what you've done?" But then… I just do. And that makes me feel worse."

"It's the mindset of a survivor, Red, nothing more. Believe me, I've felt the same way on many nights in the last five years." She takes Red's hands into her own, shadows dancing across her face as the fire across the room throws its light around. "Please believe me when I say that I need you to pull through this. I'm not sure I can continue to face all of this alone anymore and I don't want you to have to do the same."

It's tragic how beautiful Regina looks as she pleads her case, hands grasping Red's like they were giving her life. All Red wants to do is reassure Regina that she won't ever leave her side, not after all this she has done for her, but her voice escapes her after a day of trauma that this beautiful woman has seen her through. Instead she removes a hand from their joined grasp, reaching up to hold Regina's cheek and pull her closer, pressing a slow, reverent kiss to her pale red lips.

"I'm sorry," she breathes when she pulls away, her own lips tingling at the brief memory of Regina's automatic response to her kiss, though she certainly didn't return it. For once the raven-haired woman actually looks surprised, still processing what happened when Red stands from the bed. "Gods, I'm sorry. I didn't – I wasn't thinking and I just… I-I'm sorry–"

"Red." Regina immediately rises to follow her as Red turns to leave, grabbing her wrist to stop her so she can step in front of the girl. She meets Red's gaze with an unreadable expression before she drops it, giving a humorless laugh as she seems to struggle to find her words. "It's just… it's been a very long time since anyone has kissed me like that."

She takes it as an invitation to do it again, far less chastely than she had before and Regina responds immediately. For the first time since she's met her, the Queen is less-than-composed, her kisses both needy and aggressive as she holds Red close to the point where her delicate hands leave bruises on the brunette's forearms. Red can't imagine she fares much better, her own fingers tangling in Regina's dark hair while she tries to control the desperate, pathetic sounds that are escaping her throat.

The ride back to the palace is long and sullen due to the search party's inconclusive findings before they left Midas' kingdom, though Red finds herself protected not only from the long journey but also the atmosphere while she rides in the carriage next to Snow, who thankfully picks up on the fact that Red is more than reluctant to talk about herself and stops prying, only occasionally starting up a conversation for the other girls to comment on.

"I adore your bracelet, Ruby," Snow gushes late in the afternoon on the second day of their trip, startling Red who is trying to remain calm as they reach the familiar woods close to her village near the border of the two kingdoms. It had been so terrifying on their journey up that Abel had snuck her away from the main party to take her through the forest rather than the trek through her former home. The Princess reaches over in the seat to dance her fingers along the stones set in the gold band and Red manages to belatedly thank her. Across from her on the other bench Regina catches her eye as she sits primly, smiling that lovely, small smile of hers.