"Why do you invite death?"

"I'm not. I'm interested in justice."

"Are you? Are you sure it's not vengeance?"

"No I'm not sure, I wish I was. I've done things I've never done before-I've placed my command in jeopardy… From here on out I've got to determine if Karidian is Kodos."

"He is."

"You sound certain, I wish I could be. Before I accuse a man of that, I've got to be. I saw him once twenty years ago. Men change, memory changes,-look at him now he's an actor. To change his appearance… No, logic isn't enough. I have to feel my way-be absolutely sure."

"What if you decide he really is Kodos, what then? Do you play God, carry his head around the corridors in triumph? That won't bring back the dead Jim."

"No…but they might rest easier."

There was a silence as the three friends stared at one-another. Finally McCoy broke through the tension.

"Are you sure it's the dead who'll rest easier?"

Jim looked away, staring at the wall. "…you have no idea…"

"No, I don't. I don't know what it was like to survive something like that. Jim…you have to let us help you."

The young man sank into a chair and rubbed at his eyes. "Bones… I can't explain how much I want to. If I thought for one moment it would help I would have told you a long time ago, security clearance or no security clearance. But nothing is going to change what happened.

"And what happened?" Spock's voice had that soft tone that he seemed to reserve solely for the two other men in the room.

"I went through hell." Jim folded his hands and stared at the floor. "And, no Spock, for once I'm not being overly emotional or over-stating something." He managed a shaky laugh. "Damn, it's been years since I've thought about this and in the last few hours alone I've…"

McCoy sat down on the desk next to him and put a hand on his shoulder; it was moments like this that the doctor hated. Jim was too confident and bright a man to be reduced to this shaken boy that looked about to crack. He kept a careful eye on his captain as the young man took a few deep breaths. "Jim… If this is too much…

"No Bones. This man, whether he is Karidian or Kodos or some other man, murdered my friend and attacked one of my crew. I am going to get him."

Spock's eyebrow rose slightly. "That remark could be considered vengeance driven, captain. I would suggest refraining from such comments."

"So you agree with Doctor McCoy that I'm being irrational and ima-"

"I agree that you are being driven by emotion-"

"Damn right I am!" If Spock was startled by the captain's abrupt transition from sitting to standing less than an inch from him he didn't show it.

"I watched children being ripped from their parents arms and my friends killed in the streets." As the captain began pacing McCoy caught sight of the slight twitch of Spock's hand, as though beginning to reach out to his distraught friend before the Vulcan regained his composure. Jim was rubbing his arms as he stared blankly ahead. "I held an eight-year-old girl in my arms as she bled to death. I tried to hide terrified kids from the men and women in their neighborhoods they once trusted. I watched my uncle give himself up as a distraction to save his family: to save me. I tried for years to scrub the feeling of blood from my hands. I. Was. Thirteen. Tell me, Commander, how the hell do I not become emotional?!"

"Jim."

The soft word cut through the young man's anger as he looked up into his First Officer's emotionless eyes in time to see the sliver of compassion before his steady voice continued. "I did not say that I believed your intentions to be unreasonable. You are motivated by your emotions; by the guilt of inaction, by your fear and sorrow, and by the compassion that makes you the exemplary officer you are. These are emotions that derive from your desire to help others and therefore I find it hard to believe that you could be motivated by personal vendetta. I trust your ability to keep your anger in check."

Jim was stunned. He looked over his shoulder at McCoy. "You're hearing this right?"

"Hell yes I am." The doctor was grinning. "That was practically a confession of love." McCoy could have continued but he was too relieved that the Vulcan had managed to break the dam that had been putting their friend on edge. Bones ignored the eyebrow being shot at him and walked forward to clap Jim on the shoulder. "I need to check on Reilly, are you alright?"

The younger man nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, go on."

"I will, but the minute this is over you are coming to my room and we're talking about this. I insist."

"I understand...thank you, Bones." Jim walked him to the door and hesitated before turning to Spock and smiling nervously. "So do you really believe this man is Kodos?"

"I do."

There it was; that smile that had the potential to blind a person if they weren't careful. For the first time since the whole mess had begun, Jim looked relaxed. "And what led you to that conclusion? Gut feeling?"

"Logic Captain." If he wasn't Vulcan, you could have sworn he was irritated. "Doctor Leighton was murdered while the Karidian Company was on planet Q. Now an attempt has been made on lieutenant Reilly while the company is on board the enterprise."

Jim shook his head. "Bones isn't sure there was a murder attempt. Besides, I have an idea that might prove tha-"

"Shhh." Jim blinked at that. Did Spock just 'shh' him? The Vulcan was looking around the room. "Do you hear it? That low hum."

Jim stiffened. "A phaser…"

"On overload."

Business as usual.

The bolded bit at the beginning and the last few lines are drawn directly from the episode "Conscience of the King" which is one of my favorite episodes. I just wanted to see some sort of discussion between these three and honestly could have ranted for pages and made it into an angst fest but I tried to stay in character and ended up with this. The scene break was too perfect to not insert this but if people are interested, I'll do the conversation in McCoy's room too.

Please leave me feedback and let me know if a second chapter here would be appreciated.