What a year it has been and what a long time it has been since I have been able to do more than just read other stories on my phone. I'd just like to say that I'm am beyond sorry for the lack of updating in the last two years. My laptop is still broken, and without a reliable one on hand I have been unable to update. I am currently visiting family and my beautiful amazing MIL was kind enough to suggest that I use her computer to relax and write or at least update you guys. I'm telling you guys; my MIL is an amazing woman and I definitely cherish every moment with her.

About Blooming or Wilting. I have been working on it. I downloaded Google Documents to my phone, and I work as much as I can, but its been slow. As you know from my last note, my husband and I were in terrible grief and while I tried to look at my blessings, it was extraordinarily hard to do so. I found myself wrapped in my phone trying to "text" the story as best as I could and did not notice myself falling apart around it. I stopped cleaning, eating, and even (to my absolute shame) parenting to the best of my ability. Eventually I stopped writing too. Now when I look at what I did write, all I feel and see when I read it is absolute chaos. Nothing flows and the characters are not themselves. At some points I even broke into a completely separate story line without even noticing. So needless to say I scrapped it all and will need to redo the whole continuance of it. I have written notes that bring me great excitement for their road moving forward. I am contemplating even going back at least a chapter to make some tweaks that I don't really like. I'll let you know if I do though.

As for life…Things are tiring, but in an amazing way. My husband decided to not have anymore children. We were told that my body struggles to produce enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy and that it is what caused our losses and why our last two successful children were such difficult pregnancies. Obviously, hormone treatments are expensive and the chances without it were extremely low for success and extremely high for failure. So naturally I go in to talk about my options of permanent prevention and found out I was pregnant again…and amazingly she made it all the way to the end. I am the mommy of two amazingly smart and beautiful children and one itsy bitsy newborn. I'm not saying it magically got better when I actually had a successful pregnancy. I needed help with depression, and I learned that PTSD is a common aftermath of multiple miscarriages, but after months of adjustments and therapy I feel almost myself again. I'm cooking and playing with my children again. I can actually get out of bed to clean my home and take enjoyment in the things I used to love. I laugh and smile again. I can write!

I would like to thank you all for your endless support. Thank you for your reviews to let me know that you were there and ready for whenever I posted again. I know you all have waited so patiently, and it warms my heart to see all of your support. I hope every single one of you are safe and healthy during this extraordinarily shitshow of a year so far and I look forward to posting again so I may see all of your amazing thoughts! Please feel free to review and let me know how you are. If you need positive vibes, prayers, thoughts, feelings sent your way I am your girl. I read every single review and I mean it when I say I honestly take your words to heart. If you need to vent. If you need a shoulder to cry on. I may not be able to respond, but I am here reading and praying things get better or there to smile and laugh that things are good.