Entrance Exam

by Starsinger

Please forgive stupid plot bunnies, they occasionally take divergent paths. At Spock's request, Sarek brings the entrance exam for the Vulcan Science Academy to Jim Kirk, to see what the Vulcans would make of his aptitude. They just forget to tell the high council that the person in question is human. Don't own them.

Jim looked up curiously as Sarek entered his room. The Vulcan carried a large, folded computer under one arm. "What can I do for you, Ambassador?" Jim asked.

"I wonder if you would conduct an experiment for me. This computer holds a standard exam for higher education levels on Vulcan. I wondered if you would be willing to take it."

Jim Kirk looked suspiciously at Sarek, this sounded suspiciously like one of those damn aptitude tests his teachers kept throwing at him in school. "Vulcan or Federation Standard?" Jim asked.

"Either, it's up to you. I can make sure you get the results of the tests when they come out," Sarek said evenly.

Unlike Betazoids who really can't lie, Vulcans won't lie. The means, they won't always tell the full story. Jim was sure Sarek, and by extension Spock, was up to something. "Alright, I'm game," Jim finally conceded.

"It's controlled by speaking, just say start," Sarek instructed, unfolding the computer.

Jim did, in Vulcan. The computer started by asking basic questions that he would know, "What is Murphy's Law?"

Really, Murphy's Law, did Vulcans believe in Old Man Murphy? "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."

For the next four hours Kirk answered any number of questions on Science, Politics, Engineering, Diplomacy, and various other topics that seemed pertinent. At the end he was sweating and answering different questions on different languages. The easy ones were in Federation Standard. The hardest ones, well, he hadn't spoken Romulan in about three years, and his knowledge of that was sketchy at best. Sarek did not show any emotion regarding the possible outcome. He bowed as he folded up the computer and left.

"What was that all about?" McCoy asked as Sarek exited the room.

Kirk shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe it was the entrance exam to the Vulcan Science Academy."

Two weeks later Jim was sitting in bed eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Joanna when five esteemed Vulcans entered his room. They were followed by both Sarek and Spock. Only those who knew Spock best could tell he was holding back a smirk.

"You are Captain James T. Kirk?" the first Vulcan asked.

Jim glanced up at him curiously, "Yeah, that's me."

"You took an exam two weeks ago, an experiment conducted by Ambassador Sarek?" McCoy stuck his head in. He was more than a little curious about all these Vulcans.

"Yes," Kirk again replied.

"You took a Vulcan exam, in Vulcan," the man continued.

"Okay, what's all this about. Sarek asked me to participate in an experiment, I did so. Why does this call for the Vulcan High Council to come traipsing into my room?"

"Because, Captain, your scores have qualified you to enter the VSA," Sarek replied. "They even put you at a higher rate than many Vulcans who also made into the Academy."

"So, I'm smart. I already knew that," Kirk said. He enjoyed the consternation in the Vulcan's eyes.

"If you ever wish to leave Starfleet and go into other ventures," the first councilor continued, "you have a place open for you at the Vulcan Science Academy." They bowed and exited the room.

"Uncle Jim? What did you talk about?" Joanna asked.

Startled, Jim realized the entire conversation had taken place in Vulcan. "They just told me that I'm smarter than the average bear," he replied biting into the sandwich. Bones would kill him for all these crumbs, Jim didn't really care.

"Uncle Jim, you're not a bear!" Joanna exclaimed.

"I'm not?! Maybe we should find out!" he mock roared at the little girl who scooted to the end of the bed. She learned quickly that Jim couldn't get out of bed, so these "fights" were within his limits.

"Do you think he'll ever grow up?" Nurse Chapel asked with a grin.

"Chris, in some respects, I sure hope not!" McCoy concluded.