Rationalizations

Disclaimer: I love the game but own nothing

Rating: T Ellie's language

Pairing Joel/Ellie (not romantic yet)

Summary: *Spoilers* After finally starting their cross country trip Ellie has to deal with certain problems

"Yeah I get it. Your way." She repeated. The pair was just got out of the horrible flooded subway and now the hard part was about to come.

Ellie crossed her arms to her chest and Joel finished laying down the "rules". For a minute he seemed like a cool guy and now he was just so...old... and...and. Just because he was older than her and been out of the city before did not make him the boss of her. Right?

She looked at the tree near him to avoid looking at him. He was still sitting his back hunched as he was planning their next move. She was left to awkwardly shift her weight from foot to foot holding back her tongue. Despite being pissed at him for insulting her, the angry feeling didn't help release the knot in her stomach. Tess was dead...and it was sorta-not-all-her-fault-but-kind-of-her-fault kind of thing. She wrapped tighter to stop her stomach from flopping.

He grunted as he stood. He told her about this guy Bill, who owed him a favor and the car and all she could do is agree. What else could she do at this point? Without him she would be dead or waiting on the shore. Moments before he could have just left her and went home to live his life. She had no choice, she shouldered her bag and followed his footsteps. It was a long empty road, but most of the runners seemed to be gone. Besides, she was sure he could handle anything that came their way.

Even after they began the trek his shoulders remained hunched and his jaw was set tight. Oh boy, this was going to be a fun day.

She wrapped tighter around herself. Tess was not her fault. She chose to come along. Right? She probably fought a bunch of those things and just slipped up. It was dark when they ran into the room to get away from the clickers and it grabbed at Tess first and the woman pushed her away. There was little she could have done in that instant. Even Tess said her luck ran out! Right? There was nothing. Her stomach churned.

Ellie knew a lot of people who died. Death was not new. You just dropped it and moved on. But she wanted to say something to Joel. Tell her that Tess was a good person or how sorry she was. Or at least he could say something back. Well something other than 'It wasn't her business.'

Her trips to mall didn't always end so good, and at the end of the day it was every man and woman for themselves. Everyone took a risk and she got lucky. Besides she didn't even know Tess that well. She hadn't even known her for more than twenty-four hours. All that woman wanted was the guns. She knew that was not true, or aleast not completely true. She didn't tell that runner to bite the woman, did she? Her shoes began to drag on the broken asphalt. Why didn't more people have immunity? Why am I the lucky one?

"Keep up." Joel growled.

She lightly jogged to return to his side. Her arms still clasped around her middle. Her left hand playing with a loop on the strap.

She stole a glance at her companion and knew where this feeling was coming from. The skin at his temples was pulled taut as he grinded his teeth. His fingers formed fist to only be released and formed again.

It wasn't my fault, she reassured herself. He just didn't want to talk about it because that must have been his girlfriend or whatever. She seriously doubted he would use that word.

She scanned the area; they were out past the city were their were individual houses. They would probably hold up in one tonight.

"How much longer is it going to be?"

"Are you going to start already?" He snapped.

"Attitude." She blew air out of her mouth as she whispered the word. He was sure to hear her, but she wanted him too. Her question wasn't supposed to be sarcastic, but if he was going to act like that... besides anything was better than walking in their awkward silence thinking. Thinking was not good for her at this point.

He snorted like an animal. The pair went on a few more minutes before the next question burned its way through her tongue.

"What time is it anyways?"

He glared at her for a moment before consulting the sky and judged it with a frown. "Around Three."

"Oh. So, are we going to find a place to stop before we get to Bill's or we sleeping there."

"Probably stop. I don't want to walk at night." He sounded like he tried it before. She noted that he finally stopped grinding his teeth, even if he constantly scanned the area for trouble. He was talking and it helped. They would be okay.

"Okay." she paused. Her stomach twisted again. Maybe food would help settle things down. "Sooo," She drawed the word out. "what are we going to eat?"

"We'll stop at McDonalds."

"Is that a friend too?" She made a face. He must spend a lot of time out here. He began to laugh, which was nice change of-. Wait a fucking minute. That motherfucker was laughing! He just...

Ellie arm swung out and slapped his bicep. It hurt her hand more than his arm. He stopped laughing, but was smirking. He didn't even have the decency to look like make it look like it hurt.

"Jerk." She muttered and he bumped her shoulder with his arm. He was still smiling a little and the corner of her mouth lifted too.

A/N:

I am 20 percent (Just getting to Bill) and I just couldn't believe that one scene after the subway. I just can't imagine just dropping it. So, I will keep writing. I swear it will get more romantic soon. I just like them interacting and Ellie is just at that age were women over think everything a man does. Thanks to all those who review!