a/n; Well this was emotional to write! Basically I got the idea from a song, that's listed below and I just had to write this :3 I've never really written a super emotional Kennett fic and I'm just in that mood today. Hopefully you'll enjoy it! Also I know I'm pimping this loads, but please, please, please go onto my page and subscribe to my YouTube channel, I've just uploaded my first Kol/Bonnie video to said song in the fic, and I think you might like it! Seriously I would really appreciate it. Anyways as always enjoy! Song recommendations; Hurt- Johnny Cash, Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne and Let Her Go- Passenger.

Only need the light when it's burning low.

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow.

Only know you love her when you let her go.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low.

Only hate the road when you're missing home.

Only know you love her when you let her go.

And you let her go.

- let her go, passenger.

'Bonnie answer the door, please'

She wants too, she really does more than anything in the world.

'Please Bonnie, I would say I'm sorry but we both know that would be a lie'

Another tear trickles down her cheek, she's not sure how many that is now, she long ago lost count.

'You know I did this for you, and I didn't mean for..'

A strangled sound leaves her lips, and she simply falls to the floor, her knees tucked to her chest, her head in her hands as the sobs continue.

'Please Bonnie, please'

She doesn't call out, she knows he can hear her crying, and she can hear the broken sound to his voice. She wants to hold him, wants to take away the edge of sadness in his tone..but she can't, it's all too raw. She's already had to stop herself twice from just running to him.

'I know you hate me for doing this, but Bonnie I don't care if I have to kill every person in this world, I will always choose you above anyone else, you know that..that's why I had to do this'

Her body curls into itself even further, like she's trying to keep it from breaking, but it's not working..she can feel it, her entire being breaking down.

'I'll be back tomorrow, and the day after, and every day until the earth ends or you forgive me and invite me in..which ever comes first'

It's the third day she hasn't left her house, just curled under the sheets, a mound of tissues piling up next to her, the silence only broken by her cries. Her phone remained turned off on the bed-side cabinet next to the empty bottle of water, she needed solitary, not her friends running round to try and help.

Only Caroline had made it through the front door, luckily she hadn't pushed it, only replenishing the water on the side before leaving, not a word spoken, the comfort spoken through her actions, and her understanding.

Her mind keeps flashing back to that night and that causes her to cry herself to sleep; it's the only way she can rest, when she's so cried out exhaustion takes her against her will.

The barrier around her house kept all out, she'd only permitted Caroline past..no one else. They'd all tried; Elena begging, Damon threatening, Stefan offering advice, Matt to plead, even Klaus had shown (though she knows that's mainly for Caroline's sake). But she hadn't let any of them past.

Of course she'd kept him out too, but for an entirely different reason.

Even thinking of him caused the tears again, and with another strangled sob, a gut wrenching cry..Bonnie was back to square one, though it felt like she never left it.

He comes again on the night just as he promised, and continues to beg.

'Bonnie let me in'

All she can do is cry continually until he relents, leaves but again promising to be back the next day.

She knows he will, as much as she can't bring herself to look at him, she feels comforted that he won't stop until she forgives him, even though he has no idea when that will be.

Neither does she.

On the 6th day she finally gets up to dive in the shower, change her clothes and eat something. However with only an hour past with such actions, she returns to bed..what else is their to do among such grief?

Nothing she can think of.

Her mind takes her back to that night again.

She pounds her fists against the bed in hope of ridding the images but they stay solid, night after night she can't escape the torture.

The sound of a neck snapping, the bone's crunching to her ear.

Her screams so loud they could quake a mountain.

A gasp behind her as another body fell, her memory taking over to remind her why the second person had to die.

Her screams are even louder, her throat hoarse within seconds but still she hadn't stopped. Hadn't stopped begging the gods, the spirits, anyone who would fucking listen to her pleas. She had cried and cried but no one had answered as she held the now corpse in her arms. No mercy.

But then the gods have no mercy..that's why they are gods.

He's more insistent that night, his growls loud as he tries to push past the barrier, his skin singed on contact.

'That's gunna hurt' Her voice is barely a whisper, no anger just fact. She knows he hears her..

Still he doesn't stop.

After about half an hour he gives up and goes back to begging.

"Bonnie please!'

He receives no answer

Caroline comes around again to give her more water. She strokes the brunettes hair this time, just the once before she turns to go.

'He loves you, you know'

'Like Klaus loves you?' She feels a child asking the question, but she needs the reassurance.

Caroline doesn't disappoint. 'Yes'

Then she's gone, probably back to the hybrid boyfriend who adores her and Bonnie feels the ache in her chest, the one shes been feeling for the past week grow even stronger.

'Bonnie answer the god damn door!'

Again she's sat against the wall, a mere shift away from him seeing her.

It's like the first night, her head in her hands, her knees to her chest. Only it feels worse, no adrenaline to compensate for the grief.

'Bon, Bon, please'

That nearly makes her move, him using the affectionate nickname that had once made her laugh and smile, but again she stops herself. She knows the second she see's him any kind of progress she had made in putting herself back together will crumble to dust.

Two weeks later, and he hasn't broken his word, every night he's at her door.

Only on Thursday something changes.

'Bonnie please, please'

Still she cries, stops herself from running to him, tries to keep herself together.

'I love you'

She crumbles.

The next night he doesn't come, and she knows she should feel relief, but she doesn't, if anything it feels worse.

He's back the next night, begging her again and though she doesn't answer, doesn't let him see her, she does whisper.

'I love you too'

The next night comes..

and the next..

and the one after..

and another..

And then finally three weeks since the death of Shane, his heart ripped out by her boyfriends hand, and the death of her Mother, not directly by Kol, but killed due to Shane's insurance policy of tying Abby to him..she goes to him.

She can't blame him, because in his mind he was doing the right thing. He had killed Shane to stop him messing with Bonnie's head, and she knows he had no idea Abby had been tied to him..no one did, not even Bonnie.

So that night as he begs she flings open the door and lets the barrier drop.

Kol crushes her to him as though he thought her dead, he kisses her forehead, and then her lips, and she holds onto him like a drowning man on a lifeboat. They hold each other so tightly it almost hurts, but neither notices.

'Never leave me' It's her turn to do the begging.

'Not until the earth burns around us, and even then I'll still be holding you'

So hopefully you liked it :3 I know it's quite angsty, and I normally do fairy-tale Kennett but I had to write something a bit more edgy for these two for once!

As always check out my other Kennett fics and any other TVD ones if you're a fan.

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