Chapter Seventeen - Full Circle

Summary:- Things come to an end and our boys come full circle.

The room had been silent for nearly twenty minutes and Ducky finally took the opportunity to look closely at his assistant. As certain as he was that he himself was far from a picture of radiant beauty, Jimmy looked infinitely worse.

His clothes were rumpled, there were bags under his eyes and his skin looked both flushed and pale at the same time. Neither man had said a word since Jimmy had returned to the room after a discussion with Breena that had taken place just beyond the window of the hospital room.

Ducky had heard the petite blonde's raised voice and the younger man's much calmer answers. Of course the elderly ME couldn't blame the new Mrs Palmer for being put out, what with the groom spending the majority of their wedding day caring for his ailing employer.

That was when the realisation had hit him. Of course! If he hadn't been so mentally and physically exhausted, he would've smacked his own head for being so blind!

"I'm so sorry, Jimmy." he croaked out.

Jimmy, startled out of his own thoughts by the unexpected words, creased his brow in confusion.

"For what, Dr Mallard?"

"I'm afraid I have been so involved in my concern for the other members of our little family and by my own ill health that I neglected to realise that you must have again put the needs of all others before your own and rescheduled your nuptials. I am not at all surprised that Breena is understandably miffed at the situation."

Slumping down further into his chair, Jimmy ran a hand through his curls.

"We didn't postpone the wedding." he finally whispered. "You see, the thing is, Dr Mallard... If we had gone through with the service today, it would've been the biggest mistake of our lives. I guess finding you on the beach may well have saved both of our lives."

At his mentor's questioning gaze he continued.

"I suppose in a lot of ways, I was an ideal to Breena. My job was exciting for her to hear about, but she never truly appreciated the inconvenience that my not working regular hours caused. She was always trying to change me in some small way or other. Worse than that, because of the guilt I felt... I let her."

"Guilt over what?" Ducky interrupted. "I have never seen you treat the girl with anything other than the utmost respect. At times I would even go so far as to say that you treated her like a princess."

"That's just it, Doctor. Every minute of our relationship, I felt like I had to overcompensate for how I truly felt. The fact is... I'm in love with someone else."

"Our esteemed FBI colleague." Ducky intoned gently. It was after all no surprise to the older man. Some of the signs, in fact, had always been quite obvious. Theirs was a love that had never had closure.

"She asked when we were outside just now and I found I couldn't lie to either of us any longer. I could've lost the most important people in my life today. Do you know, when I recieved news of the bombing, after hoping to hear that the team were all okay, my second thought wasn't about the wedding or Breena,but that I hoped Toby hadn't been at the yard. I called him before I called my fiancee."

"Oh, Jimmy." Ducky sighed. "What are you going to do now?"

Taking a deep breath, the younger man straightened up, a look of determination on his face.

"I'm going to wait until Gerald arrives -which should be less than an hour from now, he set off from New York as soon as I called him - then I'm going to head over to the yard to see what needs to be done and make sure they have adequate cover. When this mess of a day is over, I'm going to find Toby and pray to God that he will forgive me."

Looking at the conviction on his young protege's face, Ducky felt his heart lift a little. Still he felt he had to ask;

"Are you sure you should be doing that tonight? Today was supposed to be your wedding day, after all. Maybe you should sleep on it a while before you jump into anything rash."

Jimmy, to his credit, took a moment to mull over the advice.

"Honestly? I don't think I can wait any longer. It's been five years too long as it is."

*

Tobias slumped down onto his all too comfortable couch, glass of Macallan 18 in his hand which he fully intended to savour. The day had been one disaster after another and his emotions were tumbling through him like an approaching thunderstorm.

It had been threatening to be a bad one from the beginning anyway. That morning, he'd woken up with the intention of starting the day with a glass of his favourite malt and continuing his way through the bottle steadily. Anything to forget the invitation in the drawer in the desk of his study which he couldn't quite bring himself to throw away.

Unfortunately, before he could start the day the way he intended, a phone call from Jethro had done that job and he hadn't been off his feet since.

He'd had two momentary respites, both through the medium of telephone calls. The latter was twenty minutes talking to Emily as she was preparing for bed, his 13 year old daughter able to lift his spirits like nothing ever came close to.

The former however, was the one he kept replaying although it had lasted less than a minute. A short time after the explosion that had shaken the Navy Yard to it's core, he'd been surprised by Jimmy's name appearing on his caller ID. He still wasn't sure what the call had been about other than to confirm his own safety. But why his ex-lover would consider that was beyond him. Especially today. His wedding day.

The exhausted man shook his head to clear his thoughts and raised the glass to his lips just as his doorbell rang.

Wearily he wondered who on Earth could be calling at this time of night. Every muscle ached as he made his way to the door but when he opened it, strangely, he felt nothing. Standing on his doorstep, Jimmy was holding a new bottle of Macallan in one hand and ohhh... that was a sausage and black olive pizza. His favourite. It took a while for his brain to click back into action and when it did, he could only utter one word.

"Why?"

Jimmy blushed a little as he looked down at his shoes.

"Can I come in? I need to talk to you."

Nodding mutely, Tobias stepped aside and let the younger man in, not moving again until Jimmy had reached the couch and raised an eyebrow in amusement. Closing the door, he grabbed a tumbler from the wet bar before sitting himself down, careful to keep as much space between them as he could.

"Why are you here, Jimmy?" he finally asked but still unable to look at the other man. "Shouldn't you be halfway to Cabo or wherever your honeymoon is?"

Instead of answering, Jimmy opened the whiskey bottle and filled his own glass before nudging Tobias' closer to him. Eventually he spoke.

"I didn't get married."

It shouldn't be possible for four small words to turn one man's life upside down. Those words should fill him with sorrow for his friend and not the sheer unadulterated joy that flowed through his veins, making him feel more awake than he had any right to. Risking a look up, he was surprised to find his ex looking at him with a small smile.

"Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong, but you don't seem too upset about that."

"I realised something... on the beach... when I found Dr Mallard." Jimmy started hesitantly. "With everything that's happened the past couple of days, I could've lost the closest thing I had to family. And when I first got the call... sure, in the back of my mind, I thought I had to call Breena... postpone the wedding or something. But instead of calling her, the first person I called was you. It dawned on me that I never even changed you from being number one on my speed dial and I've had a few cellphones since then. It may have been five years, but..." his voice tapered off to a whisper as Tobias barely breathed while listening to the impassioned speech.

"I still love you, Toby. I can't stop and to be honest... I don't think I want to. And I know... I know I have no right even asking but..."

Whatever question he was about to ask was knocked out of him along with his breath as Tobias surged forward and kissed him.

Suddenly the words the older man had used on that special night many years ago, the night he'd thought Tobias was dead and they would never have a chance, the first night they were together, came crashing back to him.

"You mean home, Jimmy"

For the first time, he knew exactly what those words meant. It was as though the one piece of him that had been missing for so many years, finally slid back into place. Jimmy was home and Tobias was right there with him.