[30]

Never in her life before did she think she would one day inherit a cottage, let alone a half-dilapidated hut-like one at that. Staring at the small house, Kizuka felt several waves of emotion: nostalgia, disappointment, sadness, familiarity and a joyous sense of relief. Aunt Himeko had been very kind, considering she hadn't spent much time with her nor known her very well. Or maybe it simply went to her because her mother was no longer alive. Inwardly she didn't want to admit that.

Kenji touched her elbow. "Do you want to see any more? We can still go inside," he said softly, "Auntie wanted to give you somewhere to 'plant your roots', as she put it."

Kizuka snorted at the term. "She really was mad about gardening." she muttered.

Lying there was a home, that much was obvious. It had been loved once upon a time, with a birdbox adorning the black pine tree and overgrown heavenly bamboos whose leaves carpeted the front lawn. That bamboo, Kizuka knew, had once been her great-aunt's favourite. Distantly she remembered her pressing leaves and adding them to a special portfolio. After tending to her camellias, of course. Aunt Himeko loved native plants, cultivating them instead of something exotic like roses.

Kizuka's eyes flickered over the house once more, just as Kenji approached the front gate and clicked it open. She breathed in deeply and swallowed. Kenji watched at her with a heaviness.

"It's alright," he called out, "I've moved her belongings. There wasn't much, but most of it is in storage at my house."

The breath rushed out of her. Kizuka nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

Kenji smiled reassuringly, though weakly. "Shall we go in?"

Then just like that she was venturing into the property, each step echoing in her ears as memories swam past her. Bird-watching, nature walks, learning about flowers and cultivating them … She'd been so young then, it was surreal to think that time had changed so many things …

Tink-tink. Click.

Kenji observed her as he pushed the door open, stepping back for her. For a few moments Kizuka simply stood there, unmoving and unfeeling. Out of nowhere she felt numb. She felt like she couldn't move her legs. Everything seemed to slow down like in the movies. Her eyes wouldn't focus on anything, so she wasn't even sure what she was seeing anymore.

Her heart hurt.

It was just as abrupt. An ache seared through her chest, worming towards emotions Kizuka didn't want to experience.

Smalls steps, someone once said to her. If ever you find something hard, take small steps and stay focused on it. That way, you aren't looking to avoid it. That's the best thing to do. Shame she couldn't remember who.

She stretched her hand out to her uncle. "Can you come in with me, please?"

Kenji took hold of her hand and nodded. "Yes. But you don't have to go in if you don't want to."

"It would pointless coming all this way if I didn't," Kizuka murmured, "And besides, it's—" Kizuka couldn't bear to name whose.) "—a home. It shouldn't be scary."

"If that's what you want."

Kenji took the first step, with his niece clutching his hand behind him. Somewhere in his mind, he wandered if he should've brought her out there so quickly.

Your brother might actually kill you at this rate, a nasty voice sneered in his subconscious. As much as the thought weaved dread into his mind, he still needed to get this done before any of the other paperwork.

There were only three more months and they still hadn't organised the nursery. Not only that, but Mito was starting to feel wearier more often than the first few months and ached nearly constantly. Hashirama was worried at first, but the doctor waved off his concerns. Apparently aches and itches were normal for pregnant women. Secretly he was glad he was a man. Between periods, hormones, pregnancy and menopause, Hashirama didn't think there much to celebrate about the biological implications of being a woman.

"Ugh …"

The flatpacks had been delivered the other day, but with only half the room painted that was a fat lot of good. God, he hoped he'd be a good father. If the state of nursery was anything to go by, he feared his child might hate him – but hopefully that wouldn't happen. Surely it wouldn't happen. He had to stay positive.

Had to.

"I hate decorating … stupid roller, just … ugh, no! – stop it, stop!"

"What are you doing?"

Hashirama whizzed round on his heel, feeling like his heart was about to explode. "Don't do that to me! I nearly had a heart attack!"

Tobirama offered his brother a flat look before glancing around the room. "It looks like a bomb went off," he grumbled, ignoring Hashirama's crestfallen expression. "Monkey's meant to be good at this stuff, want me to call him?"

"Could you? Thanks!" Without thinking, Hashirama glomped him; Tobirama's face pinched into a tight scowl.

"Get off."

Hashirama squeezed him tighter. "I love you, Tobirama."

"Get off now!"

"Madara, I want a holiday."

"Tch. You were happy when you left the airport and talked to the Hagi woman. What's happened, she rejected you?"

"No, I've just decided I like this place. I might retire here." Izuna said chirpily, watching the market square out of his hotel window. "It's really quaint and old worldly."

"Mm. Sounds like it suits you."

"Don't be typical, Mad—"

"How is the negotiating going? When can you get back?"

"Aww, you miss me already! Well, I've just to go over paperwork with Honoka and then I'll fly back maybe two days from now. Oh and I expect a souvenir from you."

"If you give Katashi Hatake a tour of the business and get a deal, you'll get one."

"What?"

"Hatake & Son are interested in making a deal. I won't get back until Friday evening, so I want you to go meet him. It shouldn't be that difficult, he seemed straightforward about things."

"But that's why we have—oh, never mind, she's away."

Madara chuckled. "Can't always rely on your lapdog, Izu." Izuna did not appreciate his brother using his nickname. "Besides, she deserves a break from running around after you."

"And you," jibed Izuna.

"Pest."

"Hermit."

"Otaku."

"Cousin It."

Madara heaved a sigh and simply hung up on him, irked at his last comment. He didn't intend to inherit their mother's unruly hair, though it suited her markedly better than him. Nonchalantly he tossed his phone onto the bed and made his way to the bathroom for a shower. Even on a different continent the conversation went back to that woman.

Just like his dreams.

Not the sappy way that romance dramas do, mind! It was either moments at work like when he first saw her bend over for photocopying, or when he glimpsed her bra down her shirt, or when her skirt rides up as she sits down—

Shaking his head like a mad dog, he tried to stop his thoughts from wandering. He needed a cold shower. A very cold shower. Turning the taps, he undressed before stepping into the cubicle. The water had a softer quality here, he mused. Like spring water. He knew that spring water helped soften skin, something a woman would crave for. Was Kizuka like—No! Stop!

He grumbled, switching the water to an even colder temperature.

Portraits of landscapes hung around the house while photographs littered the living room and bedroom. It was like walking through a family album. Aunt Himeko had an old-fashioned taste, but at least it wasn't retro carpets of insidious bright colours or tiles with psychedelic patterns. It was more a classical black and white theme: faded-white walls, dark grey floors, black furniture and personal trinkets every so often. Even though Uncle Kenji had said most of the stuff had been removed, it still seemed like someone had recently been there.

"I moved most of the furniture from the bedroom and dining room and the armchair from the living room," Kenji told her as they walked into the kitchen. "I left the photos for you so you could see them."

"Thank you," breathed Kizuka, taking in the bare kitchen. The fridge was still there, though the oven had been striped away from its place. "Was … was everything okay?"

Kenji nodded. "Yeah, mostly. The oven was on its last legs, so I took that out. I thought you could do with a new one. Fridge still works. Cupboards are cleared, but there's cleaning stuff under the sink just in case."

"Does the kettle work?"

Kenji smiled at his niece. "Yes. But I didn't bring any milk."

A short, wheeze-like giggle came out of her mouth. Kizuka's face remained unreadable. "It's weird, standing here. It doesn't feel …" Kenji lowered his eyes in understanding. "I-I know I didn't know her very well, but you know … I remember my time here so well. It feels kind of … surreal."

Neither of them spoke for several minutes until Kenji stepped forward, gesturing to the window. "You remember the table that used to be there? You used with sit with Aunt Himeko looking over gardening books and history magazines. Every once in a while you'd ask for stories and she'd always tell you a new one. Once you said that you didn't think you'd do well in a test, so she told you to take baby steps when aiming for something. Because then you'd have a clear vision."

"Small steps …" Kizuka murmured. "That was her?"

Kenji smiled soothingly. "She was full of good advice," he said sagely, "I remember talking to Izuna that time. Hearing that you were doing so well. I can't tell you how proud I felt." He smiled broader when she flushed. "Izuna told me something I don't think he'd said to you before."

She quirked an eyebrow, curious yet apprehensive.

"He said that you were someone reliable. He relied on you." Kenji told her, "I don't think he's the kind of person to blabber or kiss arse. But for someone to say that about anyone, that's an impressive thing. Not a lot of people are reliable, Kizuka."

Kizuka laughed weakly. "I used to think I loved him." It was the first time she'd said it aloud. But with Uncle Kenji, it was easy to say. "I don't think I did now."

"You were in a bad place. You had the worst experience of male-female relationships, with your father dying so young and that—" He stopped himself from swearing, but only just. "—you made a good friend, though."

Kizuka laughed.

"He gave you a lot of confidence, I can see that. But at the same time, I think you grew into someone stronger than you had been. Tough experiences can make or break people. Getting out of the situation always provides more opportunities to grow and recover." Kenji looked at her seriously, much like she imagined he looked like when he was working as a counsellor. "Going to university, somewhere different, gave you a chance to rebuild yourself and Izuna helped you learn what you wanted from men. I know he wasn't always good, but he seems to stand up for you."

Kizuka chewed the inside of her lip. "H-How'd you know about that? I mean, with Izuna being … ?"

"Sasuke told me a few things. He was worried, that's all." He added the last statement after she sighed despondently. "Having friends who'll do that is good, Kizuka."

"I know, I know. I just didn't want you to know … about that stuff. It's not – I don't know, it's not what I want you to—"

"I haven't judged anyone on anything I've heard. I just want you to be happy," Kenji told her firmly. "Anyway, boys usually are dickheads at that age." He smiled with her as she laughed. "Also, I heard they've opened up a new cat café in Nikko Inn, fancy going there sometime?"

Kizuka's eyes shined. "Yes please!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a brief shadow of white. She called out to him, "Tobirama, can I have a minute, please?"

He poked his head into the kitchen, stone-faced. "Now's not a good time, Mito."

"Please," She patted the chair next to her. "I need to talk to you."

He sighed and came into the room, taking the seat opposite. They looked at each other squarely. Mito spoke first: "You've been avoiding seeing us recently. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Then why are you avoiding us?"

"I'm not—"

"Is it because of that girl?"

He pursed his lips and glared at her. Despite marrying his brother, Mito was not his biological sister. Not even Hashirama had asked about it. "That's none—"

"You should have made things clear with Yuzuki—" She meant that girl, he realised. Mito carried on, oblivious, "—then she would've left you alone. I know it's hard, she's young but needs to be told boundaries. She could have put you in an awkward situation very easily."

He thought of the time she took Kizuka's call and how Kizuka had sounded so unsure. "I did tell Yuzuki several times."

"Is that so," Mito mused, sighing, "Then you should have told us. The first Hashirama heard of it was when she complained about you sacking her." She eyed her brother-in-law. "She made a convincing scene."

"Nothing happened."

"You broke up with the Uchiha's secretary afterwards."

"That," Tobirama gritted his teeth. "That is completely unrelated. You have no right to drag Kizuka into this, it's got nothing—"

"I heard about your reputation at my school, Tobirama." Mito's hard words pierced him; he gazed at her, feeling a growing sense of heaviness in his chest. "Something happened with Yuzuki."

He neither denied nor confirmed, he simply stared at her. "Stop acting like you care." He told her, "You're looking out for Hashirama, but that's only because you don't like his friendship with Madara."

Her lips pinched together quicker than blinking.

"You don't know how they met, do you." He continued, "We'd just lost our mother and brothers. Kawarama was only seven. He and Madara had become friends at school and – well, he turned to him. Not me, Madara." The guilt and shame swelled up inside him. That resentment that had festered over the years, watching his brother constantly cosy up with heartfelt chats to someone else instead of relying on him … Tobirama could never describe the frustration he'd felt. "He didn't feel like he could talk to me. That's why he always runs to Madara."

The jealousy in Mito's eyes cleared. Her mouth dropped into a small 'o' of surprise. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I didn't know about—"

"It was a long time ago."

"What were their names?"

"Kawarama and Itama."

Mito's eyes fell to the cup in front of her. A steady silence filled the kitchen. Tobirama swallowed, then muttered, "I didn't do anything with Yuzuki, I wanted … I wanted things to work with Kizuka. I wouldn't have done something like that. Thought I should clarify that to you."

"I'm sorry."

Tobirama nodded and rose. Before he got to the door, he turned and asked, "I looked in the nursery, but Hashirama wasn't there. Where's he gone?"

Mito appeared stupefied. "I don't know, I thought he was doing the cot."

Finally getting there! Hope some of you recognised the references in this chapter, e.g. Cousin It ;)