A/N - This story takes place after Threads but before Jack leaves for Washington. With a huge thanks to my beta MidKnight Rider and apologies to every Robin Hood movie ever made. ;)

Chapter 1

General Jack O'Neill hit the bottom stair and spun around the railing into the SGC control room just as the klaxons were silenced. He looked through the window toward the 'gate to see the tell-tale blue shimmer of an active wormhole behind the closed iris. Within seconds, all three members of SG-1 had sidled up beside him, drawn by the announcement of an unscheduled off-world activation.

Jack clasped Walter Harriman on the shoulder and was just about to ask what was going on, when the 'gate technician spoke. "Sir, we're receiving an audio communication from P2X-487."

"Where-" he began to ask, but Harriman had already anticipated his question.

"Harry Maybourne's planet, sir."

"Well this can't be good," Jack grumbled. He indicated for Harriman to put him on speaker. "This is General Jack O'Neill of Stargate Command." He paused, waiting for an answer and upon receiving none, he turned to Harriman, who simply shrugged.

He tried again. "Hello?"

"Um, hello?" a decidedly feminine voice answered hesitantly.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Yes, who's calling please?"

"This is Alana, from Devanon. I'm, ah, one of King Arkhan's wives."

Jack looked at Sam, who was standing beside him. "Maybourne," she mouthed.

"Ah," he replied, then leaned into comm. "And where is King Arkhan?"

"Well, that's just it. We've lost him."

oOoOoOo

Jack sat at the head of the conference room table, surrounded by SG-1 and all three of King Arkhan's wives. Jack studied them carefully and silently cursed the injustice of the universe as he wondered, not for the first time, how Harry Maybourne had finagled three attractive women into marrying him.

His faith in karma was ultimately restored, however, once the women began bickering incessantly among themselves. He rubbed his forehead. After ten minutes of conversation, he still didn't have a clear answer as to what had happened to Harry.

"Just, start at the beginning," he finally said to Alana, who appeared to be the brightest of the bunch, which frankly wasn't saying much.

She cleared her throat. "Well, King Arkhan found an ancient tablet-"

"It had strange writing on it," interrupted the overeager Becca.

Alana glared at her. "He said that it spoke of a device of unimaginable power-"

"A treasure, one of thirteen," said Becca, again.

"The tablet told of the treasure's location-"

"On another planet."

"King Arkhan wanted to see if he could find it-"

"He called it a quest."

"Ack!" Jack spat, calling a halt to the volley of words. He didn't miss Sam trying to hide a smile behind her hand, but then, he didn't miss much his former Second did. "Just one of you talks," he commanded, looking at all three women in turn. His gaze finally fell on Charlette, Harry's third wife, who had become uncharacteristically quiet, only to find her leering at Daniel. Jack rolled his eyes. Some things never changed. He pointed to Alana. "You."

Alana sat up a little straighter in her chair. "King Arkhan traveled to the planet where the treasure was hidden, alone."

"Why alone?" asked Sam.

"He said the quest was dangerous; he didn't want to risk the lives of any of his people."

"Or he wished to keep the treasure solely for himself," Teal'c added in a low voice. Jack smirked and nodded in agreement.

"He was gone for many days," Alana continued. "We didn't know what to do. Finally, ten of our bravest warriors decided to go after him. But only one came back. He said the planet was dangerous, that the land was plagued by thieves and ruled by an unscrupulous Sheriff, and that King Arkhan was lost."

There was a long pause after Alana stopped talking, until Jack finally said with all the sincerity he could muster, "And we are very sorry for your loss." He began to stand. "Now if you'll follow me, I'll show you the way back to the Stargate..."

Daniel stayed put. "Alana, what is it that you want from us, exactly?" Now it was Jack's turn to glare, but he reluctantly eased himself back down into his chair.

"King Arkhan told us that if anything ever happened to him and we needed help to contact you. We were hoping you would travel to this planet to retrieve the King and bring him back to us, where he belongs."

"But I thought you said he was dead." Daniel unexpectedly ended the statement with a yelp as Charlette placed her hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze.

Alana ignored her behavior, clearly accustomed to it. "The warrior who returned to us never saw our King. We believe he is still alive and likely in trouble."

"That would be typical," said Teal'c, as Daniel scooted his chair as far away from Charlette as he could.

Jack had heard enough. "With all due respect, Ms.-"

"Sir," Sam said suddenly. Jack stopped mid sentence and looked at Sam, who inclined her head in the direction of his office. He shook his head slightly, but she was undeterred, raising her eyebrows at him and continuing to gesture toward the office, this time with more vehemence.

Jack sighed and considered for a moment how, after eight years of working together on a nearly daily basis, his Colonel was no longer intimidated by him in the least. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. With one last exasperated glance at Sam, he stood and addressed Harry's wives. "Excuse us for just a moment."

Jack walked into his office, trailed by Sam, Teal'c, and Daniel, who appeared more than just a little relieved to be momentarily out of reach of Charlette. The General closed the door behind them and rolled his eyes as he heard the women begin to argue once again.

He turned to face his former Second, both index fingers in the air. "I don't care what you have to say, Carter. My days of pulling Harry's sorry ass out of the fire are over."

She looked at him with a somewhat mischievous glint in her eye. "Sir, it's possible that the treasure he's after has military applications."

That brought him up short. Damn, the woman knew how to get to him. In more ways than one. "Like a big, honkin' space gun?" he asked hopefully.

"It's possible, sir." She tried to repress a grin. "It's also possible that this device of 'unimaginable power' referenced on an 'ancient' tablet could be a ZPM."

"Well, I for one would at least like to take a look at that tablet," said Daniel. "If it is Ancient and can tell us the location of not only this one device but thirteen others..."

"Plus, it's not like we've got a whole lot going on right now, sir," Sam added. Jack had to admit that things had been quiet around the SGC since the defeat of Anubis. "Don't think of it as a rescue mission; think of it as-"

"A quest," Teal'c supplied.

Jack huffed and held up his hands in defeat. "Alright, alright. You had me at 'military applications,'" he said to Sam, then felt his stomach do a little flip flop when she beamed at him. "But I'm not about to let you guys go off and have all the fun by yourselves." He clapped his hands together suddenly and grinned. "I'm coming with you!"

oOoOoOo

Sam walked into the 'gate room to find the team, including the General, already assembled and in costume. She had to stifle a giggle. They looked more like actors at a renaissance festival than a highly trained military unit. Still, she knew that their green and brown outfits would provide almost the same camouflage as their BDUs, and although they wouldn't be able to take their P90s on this trip, their long cloaks hid an assortment of handguns and other deadly weapons. Even Teal'c's staff weapon had undergone a makeover of sorts to make it appear as though it were made of wood.

They certainly looked the part, but she still had no idea how Daniel had convinced the General and Teal'c to actually wear tights. Though their cloaks effectively hid the small arsenal they were carrying with them, they did little to conceal much else. She knew the General had put up a quite a fight over their attire, but she supposed the threat of almost certain death had, in the end, been the persuading factor.

The decision to go undercover had not been easily made, but when they'd heard that the local Sheriff had decreed that all off-worlders were to be taken into custody, or worse, shot upon sight, they decided that it was better to be safe than sorry. They had also been told that the Sheriff did not have the resources to keep a guard at the 'gate, which was apparently located in a large and dangerous forest some distance from the village. Still, they had decided to send a MALP through first, just in case.

As Sam walked up to the rest of the team, she couldn't help but notice how both Jack and Daniel were staring at her, the former with an almost bemused expression, and the latter with a furrowed brow.

"What?" she asked them.

Jack swiftly averted his gaze, as though he were embarrassed at having been caught. Daniel, on the other hand, addressed her question directly. "Okay, so don't hit me, but I'm afraid you're going to stand out a bit in that outfit."

Sam looked down at her attire, which was identical to the men's. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"All indications are that this planet has a culture equivalent to 15th century Europe. I'm fairly certain that the women don't wear, um, tights."

She put her hands on her hips. "Well, I'm not about to wear a dress on a mission, Daniel."

"For cryin' out loud, Carter!" interrupted Jack. "What are you complaining about? I'd almost prefer wearing a dress myself."

"That could be arranged," offered Daniel.

Jack shot him a pointed look. "Yeah, well, at least I wouldn't feel so...exposed. Right, Teal'c?"

"I find this clothing to be quite comfortable, O'Neill," he replied.

Sam bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as her commander did a double take of the large Jaffa, who continued to stare straight ahead. "Look," she said, "if it becomes a problem, we'll just pretend I'm a man."

Jack snorted. "There's no way anyone's gonna think you're a man, Carter."

"Why not?" she replied, her tone bordering on the indignant. "My hair's short; I'm not wearing any makeup..."

Jack just smirked. "Come on, Carter..." He looked at the others for support, but Teal'c's expression remained stoic as always, while Daniel suddenly found the tops of his laced-up leather boots fascinating. Jack's face fell a little as Sam continued to stare at him expectantly, and he realized that he had backed himself into somewhat of a corner.

Quickly, he scrambled to come up with a reason that wouldn't get him shot. "Well, for one, your face is too pretty."

Sam just narrowed her eyes at him, unimpressed. "Maybe I'm just an attractive man."

"Yeah, but Carter...you're..." Jack trailed off and made some vague hourglass motion in the direction of her body, which immediately earned him a rather frightening glare. Daniel's mouth fell open. Teal'c just gave him the eyebrow.

Jack decided a hasty retreat was in order. "Walter!" he yelled up to the control room.

But the ring had already started to spin. Harriman leaned toward the comm. "Dialing P3R-165 now, sir."

TBC...