I do not own ANYTHING! Big Bang Theory is not mine! Only how I'm imagining it belongs to me, everything else: characters, settings, legal stuff is all not mine.

Here's my first attempt at a Shamy fic…Gunna start with a little drama but then hopefully fluff if it goes the way I hope.

Amy remembered the time before Sheldon and her were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She held the Relationship Agreement in her hands and moaned quietly. Before this she'd been aloof…well not right before. Spending time with Penny and Bernadette had made her crave social interaction more than she had ever anticipated.

And now Amy was lost. Her life was at a turning point. Sheldon and her had been together almost five years now, and beyond a few hugs, hand holding, and the very rare peck kisses nothing had truly happened in their relationship. Sure they had role played sex one night, but that was dungeons and dragons.

Nothing else.

And Amy knew she was frustrated, sexually and emotionally. It wasn't like she didn't know things weren't going to change, she knew what she was getting into but lately Sheldon had begun drifting away. She remembered those days when he eagerly texted her every day, called almost daily, and skyped weekly.

I was falling for him then and I didn't even know I was capable of love at the time, she thought sadly. He didn't love her like Amy loved him. Penny swore he was different before Amy, that he was a terrible robot who only found happiness when things were exactly his way or a new "geek toy."

Amy needed a change or else her life would crumble. She felt it deep in her stomach that her life was too involved in his and he could never reciprocate that love. Flipping idly through the agreement she rolled her eyes over the Public Display of Affection section.

"I have to stop wallowing," she declared tossing the booklet on to the coffee table. Amy then grabbed her laptop and googled "Things to make me feel better" after surfing a few pages Amy resolved that fitness would be an option. I mean Penny goes out for a run or two… I could do that.

She'd never been a fitness buff, no far from it. She'd played the sports in gym adequately enough to pass with at least an A-, she would never let gym tarnish her GPA. She didn't hate the idea of running, and it could be an opportunity to bond more with her bestie.

"Penny please I'm dying," Amy breathed, her breaths heavy pants. She leaned over holding her body up on her knees. Amy tried not to cry, this hurt, Penny was fast. Too fast. She made Amy think of Sheldon's favorite comic book character the Flash. Her beautiful blonde friend was munching down on a bear claw like they hadn't just ran two miles like the wind to reach Penny's favorite bakery.

"Ames you are not dying. It's just the first time we've done this. It'll get better or you can stop like Sheldon," Penny mumbled between mouthfuls of delicious pastry. The look on her bestie's face was smug. Penny knew that right now Sheldon was a sore spot for Amy, and that mentioning him was only going to fuel her fire.

Amy took a swig of her water bottle, relishing every second the liquid slid down her throat. Penny had eyed her funny when she had showed up in a full track suit and huge bottle of water. Penny had warned her it was going to get warm quickly. Amy should've followed suit, but she wasn't comfortable like the goddess before her, in a tight fitting yoga top and sweat pants.

"I am no quitter like Sheldon Cooper," Amy started before another swig, "I keep my promises. Will we be running back?"

"Nah we can take a cab,' Penny replied swallowing the last bite then licking her fingers.

"No Penny. We will not take a cab." Amy then took off the jacket and wrapped it around her waist, now only in the tank top underneath Amy walked out the door. She stretched while Penny threw away her napkin.

"You sure Ames? It's okay I have my wallet….unless of course you have yours?" Penny smiled sheepishly. Amy knew Penny struggled with finances and she normally wouldn't have minded paying for a cab, but no Amy Farrah Fowler was going to run back. She was going to make a change, she needed it.

"Okay," Penny sighed then started to jog ahead. Looking back at Amy she grinned, "Let's go."

When they had reached the fateful hallway, Amy hadn't expected to see Sheldon walking out of his apartment. She had doused herself in the remainder of her water bottle. The contents now trickling down her face and then her chest, normally Amy would've been shy but she felt a rush like she was more alive than she had ever been before. Penny called it a runner's high, and many websites she visited used that terminology.

Maybe it was that high that had Amy feeling so brazen. She sauntered over to her boyfriend, saw him cringe at the sweat and water mingling over her. Amy didn't care anymore. She needed to live for herself, she needed to live in general. Yes she loved Sheldon, but why did she let that love for him over power the love she needed for herself.

Amy had been living a life in solitude for as long as she could remember, no hunk from Texas was going to change the fact that Amy was a person who needed respect.

"Amy? What happened?" Sheldon asked while fidgeting with his messenger bag, he was nervous she could tell. Amy arched her back hoping her breasts would appear more perky, that was confidence right? She needed that now for what she felt she needed to do.

With her chest heaving with her breath and now what she conceived as looking "hot" in her head, Amy didn't notice that Leonard was out in the hall too looking between her, Penny and Sheldon. Amy then closed the space between her and her hot stud of a boyfriend and planted her lips on his.

This was it, do or die. She needed a reaction. Sure this was stupid she knew her germophobic boyfriend wasn't going to kiss her back. But Amy needed that otherwise what was the point? If he didn't want anything why play at a relationship. They were just friends with a piece of paper that said they couldn't have anyone else and strict rules against what she wanted more than anything.

He lingered for a millisecond before pulling away. His eyes were wide with what Amy didn't want to see, anger fear utter disappointment all there. She just watched the melt down it's all she could do. She'd made this step it was time for a follow through with him, for once in their relationship.

"Amy I can't… why Amy?!" He shrieked, face white and shaking.

She knew with that it was time. Amy blinked the tears forming in her eyes. She felt Penny's gasp, Leonard's too. This was going to be for real, it had to be. Sheldon just stood there shaking, confused. Now I'm going to make it worse.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper that was a goodbye kiss," she swallowed her breath and steadied herself. "After today I don't know when I'll see you again but I won't be your girlfriend the next time we meet."

"Amy what fooli-"

"No, Sheldon it's not foolish. I've been in love with you clearly for the last two years at least and I know you will not and cannot love me back." She felt Penny's hand on her shoulder but Amy shrugged it off. She had to do this on her own. She'd gone from powering herself; this support system although nice at times was a weakness.

"You're breaking up with me?" he squeaked the words. He was confused, shocked but mostly she saw fear in his eyes.

"Yes Sheldon. Maybe when I can love myself again for the both of us then it can work, but what you want and what I want are not the same and I can't wallow in misery anymore dreaming that my theoretical boyfriend will someday become an experimental one." With that she looked back at Penny and Leonard grasping hands. That's what Amy wanted comfort in another human being, but since with Sheldon that would never happen then she would first have to be enough again.

"Amy let's not be silly," he started shaking his head, "we can talk about this next Thursday on date night and get this all sorted out.

She shook her head. Not this time he wasn't going to trick her into believing this was okay. She locked her eyes with her now ex firmly. "Sheldon I'll see you again when I see you," then turning to face Penny, "Thanks for the run bestie I'll see you later this week." A nod to Leonard and with that Amy walked toward the steps, took the first step down then just kept one foot in front of the other.

Walk quickly; walk with purpose she chanted in her head over and over. Maybe if they went back to friends things would be okay again. Maybe. It was her only shot. Amy had thought about this for days, when they were friends Sheldon pined for her, he was a man who always wanted, but when he got the toy it quickly went aside for the next big thing. There wasn't another woman to be the next big thing so far, but Amy felt his control over everything was to make sure if it came he could toss Amy aside for it.

And she knew more than anything that Amy Farrah Fowler did not look at herself in the same light she used to. She knew that many nights she stayed up feeding her cravings with the toothbrush, and other nights she'd cry herself to sleep dreaming of more.

She heard his voice calling after her, a shuffle down the stairs. Faster Fowler! Faster! She sped up and at the door she booked it to her car, not once looking back. Throwing the door open she slid inside fished her keys out her pocket and turned the key. Backing out of the spot she spied him, wearing his Flash t-shirt. How fitting. Then Amy floored the car out of the lot and drove back to Glendale.

She needed a life plan. Whether it included Sheldon or not, only time was going to tell.

Amy may seem a little OOC but to me their relationship is too one sided right now. At first Sheldon was all hoo-ed by Amy but now he's got the power. And I want the Amy I right to find a little strength in herself before she can tackle the Shamy.

Please review and comment I'd love to hear what you think!