L had just saved the world's ass for the 5th time this week and it was only Wednesday. There were so many investigations and crimes going on that he could hardly sit down to eat the rest of the rum cake that Watari bought him from the supermarket. And even for an insomniac such as himself, at least some sleep was permitted every, well, maybe three days or so.

I wonder how it feels like for just one day to be not needed. Or for just one day to be just plain STUPID. L thought staring at the case of bills he acquired from his extensive use of the skyscraper where he did all his work. Then, just like the genius he was, he thought of an idea that would ease his stress.

"Watari, I have decided to learn the art of stupidity." L said putting a fork of rum cake in his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. "I know almost practically everything but the way of being dumb. It's sure to ease some of my stress of holding the world on my shoulders."

Over on the other side of the room Watari was preparing some hot chocolate for L (extra sugar). He brought the cup over to L and said, "That may be a marvelous way to ease stress, but you're not very good at being intentionally dumb. All the wit that you have, stupid will not come easy."

"Ah, that's where I get a teacher. A person who is so versed in being a dumbass that I could be grade A stupid in a week. I think you know who that is."

"Yes, I have a feeling that I know exactly who you're talking about. May I ask when he comes in today?"

"He should be in right about now if he hasn't stopped by the pet store to look at kittens again."

Then, right on que, entered L's secret to being dumb. His ticket to stupidity, the jackpot to idiocy, the prize simpleton himself: MATSUDA.

"Hey you guys, has it going? Man, it's freezing out there but I just couldn't resist window shopping some. The kittens were so adorable!" Matsuda said setting his coat on the couch and heading for the coffee. "Oh and also my favorite cartoon was on in one of the store windows. I had to stay and watch some of it, even if it was in the snow."

Watari and L exchanged glances as Matsuda came over to sit by the coffee table. "Matsuda, I would like to enlist your help in-"

"Wait, wait, what was that!?" Matusda sat up so fast that half the coffee spilled on the floor, something that Watari would have to clean up later. "You actually need my help in something? Is it an investigation? It is, isn't it? Did someone rob a bank or murder somebody? Do I get to go undercover as a woman or something, I could play that role perfectly."

L waited while Matsuda finished his rambling then said, "I find it disturbing that you would be perfect as a lady and no, I do not need you to fuck up an investigation. I need you to teach me how to be dumb. Like you."

Matsuda's face fell and he slumped back into the couch. "I'm not that dumb, ya know. I have some smarticles in me. It's just hard to dust them off is all and the cartoons get in the way." Instantly, he brightened at one thought. "But you still NEED my help. Right? Right? Right?"

L sighed and said, "Unfortunately yes."

"Then I'll do it! For the sake of the investigation!"

"There is no investigation. What're you talking about?"

"Oh yeah, I knew that. Anyways, let the stupidity begin!"

L stared at his cup of hot chocolate and thought, It's already begun. What the hell did I just get myself into?