Monday, 3rd June, 1pm
School library
Transfiguration wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Yeah, so I turned my pig into a chair instead of a table but, hey. It was still furniture. Total success, in my opinion.
I'll be filing that exam under my list of things that went better than expected.
Must return to studying now.
Wednesday June 5th, 2:58am
In my bed, Girl's Dormitory.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE.
AMOS DIGGORY TALKED TO ME TODAY.
AND HE REMEMBERED MY NAME TOO.
Oh Merlin, I'm actually so excited right now, I'm having trouble breathing.
It wasn't romantic or anything; like he didn't push me against the wall, kiss me deeply and then proclaim his undying love for me like I would have hoped but it was still something. We were just at our Astronomy exams, and we had to have partners and, as luck would have it, Amos was mine and I was his and we worked together and brushed arms a couple of times and it was electrifying.
We didn't say much more than "Could you pass me that ruler?" and "I think Mars goes over there," but that was because I was too nervous. I'm sure I completely messed up my chart but oh, who gives a damn anyway. It's just Astronomy. I only took it because I knew Amos was taking it.
This is a sign that we are destined to be together. I'm not usually one to talk about destiny and such, (I really believe our choices take us where we are, you know? How could we have our futures set out ahead of us if we alone have the power to make our decisions and choices? Don't we set our own futures?) but how lucky was that that Amos of all people was my partner?
First, I didn't fail my Transfiguration exam and now, I've made physical contact with Amos Diggory.
This week is going splendidly.
Friday, June 7th, 10pm
Girl's dormitory
Remember that splendid week I was having?
Not so splendid, it turns out.
Why, you ask?
Because, book, Amos Diggory has a new girlfriend.
They just became public today at lunch. Him and Emmeline Vance. AGAIN. That tramp. I always knew you can't trust Hufflepuffs.
My life is complete and utter shit.
Literally too depressed to write.
Wednesday, June 12th, 3:25pm
History of Magic class.
Haikus by Lily Evans
Oh, my heart is yours
Amos Diggory you twit
Leave that tramp for me
I love you so much
I'd do anything for you
You have no idea.
Stop kissing her please
Seriously can you just not
My life is shit.
Hmm that's four syllables.
My life sucks horse shit.
There we go.
Saturday, June 15th, 9:37am
Girl's Dormitory
Well, one more week till school is over.
That means one more week till ATP.
To be perfectly honest with you, book, I don't want to go anymore. I mean, it's not like I'm going to snuggle with Amos under the pale moonlight anymore. In fact, if everything goes according to plan I'm not even going to look like a female that he could be attracted to. And yeah, I'll be learning all that Auror stuff and I'll be with a few of my friends, but can I really spend two weeks listening to the love of my life talk about some other girl?
That's all he does now. Talk about Emmeline Vance, I mean. I hear him in the Great Hall talking to the Marauders about her because he's in that lovey-dovey, beginning-of-a-relationship stage. You know, that stage where you've just started dating and everything about the other person is perfect and not irritating at all.
She comes over to the GRYFFINDOR table sometimes too. I really don't want to be one of those jealous type girls, but do they really have to snog at the table? For Merlin's sake.
Molly and the others keep sending me sympathetic glances which are extremely annoying. I'm not going to jump off the bloody Astronomy Tower. Okay, so I thought about it a couple of times, but I wouldn't actually. A tad overdramatic, even for me. Even James thinks I'm sick or something. He stopped (more like attacked, really) me last night when I was about to head out for patrols, demanding to know why I'd been walking around in sweatpants and messy buns for the past week. Clearly he doesn't understand the post-breakup routine, even though Amos and I technically never went out in the first place but whatever.
I told him to back off, of course, and that I didn't have to have a reason for dressing a certain way. Seriously, if I suddenly decided to wear sweatpants for the rest of my life, would that really be such a bad thing? It would not. It would make me very happy actually. They are soft and warm and nice and they don't break your heart by asking other Hufflepuff girls to be their girlfriend.
Molly and Mary say I have to go through with the plan whether I like it or not. Apparently, Molly has finally succeeded in convincing Professor Harigan that she has a cousin named Billy Tevan, Mary has already found the perfect face for me to use ("It's a mix between Paul McCartney from the Beatles and that attractive one from The Dancing Hippogriffs!") and Alice has found the spells I'll be needing for the transformation.
So I guess it's happening.
Finals were alright. I failed History of Magic, as expected. But whatever. I'm going to die alone anyway.
Sunday, June 16th
Owlery
Dear Mum,
So terribly sorry I haven't written in ages. I've been so caught up in my exams and all that, I hope you understand. How's dad? How's Petunia? Rotten, I hope. Ha ha ha, I was kidding (not). How's Jade? WELL, I HOPE, CONSIDERING I MUST HAVE LEFT ABOUT THREE HUNDRED INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HER. She's a very spoiled cat, but you should know that. Shower her with lots of love, alright? Is she still taking all the shiny things? I hope you remembered not to take them from her, as she will be very angry and bite you for weeks. Anyway, I hope you're all fine and stuff. But I'm writing for a reason… and please don't think I'm the worst daughter in the world, but I won't be coming home at the end of June.
Remember how I told you I was thinking of becoming an Auror (the dark wizard catcher)? Well, they're offering training sessions for potential Aurors after school ends, and I really want to go. And that's why I'll be staying a couple extra weeks after into July. It's not that long, is it? You don't even have to come pick me up at the station as I have my Apparation License now (woo).
I miss you lots and lots. I can't wait to tell you all about my finals (Transfiguration was surprisingly decent!). Reply to this as soon as you can so I know you've gotten it. Ruddy owl gets confused sometimes. But I still love her so make sure you toss her a couple dead rats when she gives you this!
Your favorite daughter,
Lily
PS – Amos has a new girlfriend. Please send me lots of heartbreak food. Brownies, ice cream, the works.
Dear Lily (daughter whom I love just as equally as my other one),
First off, I most certainly did not toss any dead rats to Ingrid. I don't just keep those things lying around, you know. Second, I'm so proud of you, dear. I'm sure you did wonderfully on your finals! Of course, I have no clue what your grades mean (Whatever happened to the standard A's and F's?) but I assume you're doing brilliantly.
Your father says to inform you that you will be taking Jade to Hogwarts next year because he simply cannot handle that damn cat anymore. Neither can I, to be honest. All she does is lay around and get fat and steal all my nice jewelry. She can't even get off her belly every once in a while to catch a nasty rat. Vernon, remember that… er, nice man that Petunia is dating? Yes, well he came over for dinner the other night and Jade got up, dashed under the table and scratched him right across his leg! No, you simply have to take her with you next year. Maybe she can get the decent exercise that she so desperately needs up there.
We're all fine. Really. The shop is booming with business now that summer is coming around again. I'll tell you all about it when you get here. And, about the training, that's really no problem. Your father and I both agree that it's an amazing opportunity for you, and two weeks is nothing. We'll be patiently awaiting your arrival. INCLUDING your loving sister whom you adore and cherish.
Please be careful with that apparation business, dear. Sounds a bit dodgy.
Even more love,
Mum.
P.S – Oh, sweetie, that's terrible! I know you really liked him. You poor thing. I've packaged some brownies along with this. Hopefully, Ingrid doesn't decide to rip it open and eat it like last time. Stuff yourself up. And don't be too upset. Sometimes, it's for the best.
Mum,
Brilliant. I'm glad you're aboard!
Oh, bully, I can't even leave my family with my cat for a few months! All she needs is love, and you can't even give her that! But fine. If you insist, I'll bring her to school next year. And pity about the Vernon thing. I guess it's true that cats really are able to sense evil.
Thanks for the brownies. You're the best mother anyone could ask for. I'll owl you later with more news!
Love, Lily.
28th June, Friday, 6:35pm
Gryffindor Common Room
We leave tomorrow.
I'm terrified.
I'm so scared.
It's all well and dandy for the others. They are going as their usual sex. I'm going as a foreign, dark-haired, arguably homosexual boy. Thinking about it - and I have… a lot - there is a vast number of things that could potentially go wrong. In fact, I've compiled a list:
1. I could get caught. Yes, this one seems fairly obvious, but did I even really think about the consequences before I got myself into this crazy plan? I mean, seriously what if Harigan really does notice that I'm not, in fact, a foreign, dark-haired, arguably homosexual boy? What would he do? Worst case scenario, he'll owl my parents and get me expelled from Hogwarts and then inform the Ministry (it's a Ministry sponsored program after all) and then they'll snap my wand and I'll be forced to live like a Muggle for the rest of my life. That'd suck. I know I had that whole identity crisis in Fourth Year because I was all bitter about Petunia resenting me and such, but I don't actually want to live like a Muggle!
Best case scenario, he'll send me home. Which would also suck. Not to mention embarrassing.
2. The spell could wear off. The spell Alice found to make me look like a cross between Paul McCartney and the guy from The Dancing Hippogriffs only lasts for twelve hours. TWELVE HOURS. What if I'm right smack in the middle of something or near people or something when it wears off? And it's not some quick application spell; it's the kind that takes at least five minutes to perform, she explained. Apparently, I have to transform different parts of my appearance individually, so I would change my hair first, then my nose, then my eyes, and so on and on. She says I have to time it very carefully, AS IF I DON'T KNOW THAT.
At least it's not a Transfiguration spell because it would have been hopeless then.
3. The Marauders might recognize me. Notice how I didn't write "the Marauders and Amos"? Because AMOS HAS DECIDED NOT TO ATTEND. Yeah, I know, Molly only just told me at dinner. Apparently, he and his family are going to the States the day after we get off school, so he'll have no time for the training. Merlin, I'm not sure if I should be ecstatic or devastated. On one hand, it's great because then he won't see me make a fool of myself. Not to mention the fact that I don't have to hear him talking about Emmeline Vance all the time. On the other hand… it's Amos.
Oh well, even if he'd come, it's not like there was a chance of me ever getting together with him. You know, book, I've been thinking about it, and I'm not exactly sure why I keep pining after that twit. He clearly doesn't even know who I am and, quite frankly, I simply cannot handle this emotional torture that seeing him with Emmeline brings me. It's partially my fault, of course. I should've known from the very beginning that I didn't stand a chance in hell with a boy like Amos Diggory. He's simply too beautiful, and beautiful people like him don't have time for ordinary, boring people like me. He should obviously be with girls like Patty and Emmeline Vance who, not only are unfairly beautiful, but are also intelligent and read intellectual books like Pride and Prejudice (which I still need to finish and return).
I should really get over him. But one doesn't simply give up on a boy after four years of loving him.
Sigh.
But anyway, the Marauders might recognize me and, though I doubt they'd tattle on me, I simply could not stay after that because they'd never let me live it down.
4. The plan could fall to shit before I even get there. See, we're leaving by train right after the End of the Year Feast tomorrow. We being the thirty three students from Hogwarts that signed up for the ATP. The thing is… Billy Tevan is supposed to be arriving from France this afternoon to meet the rest at the camp (I still have no idea where it is?), but he obviously can't because I'm right here with the others. Molly says the only solution is to go with them, using some spell to make me invisible (maybe the Disillusionment Spell?) till we get there, then make my grand appearance when everyone is busy scurrying around, but can I just mention how RISKY this plan is?
That's all I can think of at the moment, but I'm sure there's more.
Oh, Merlin, I can't think about this right now. There's a slight possibility I might throw up here in the Common Room and, considering the large amount of people lounging around because finals are over, that might not turn out so well.
Remus has just come down and he's looking around, probably for me. Tonight is the last night of patrols, thank God. They're dreadfully boring and such a nuisance, honestly. If the students of Hogwarts haven't gotten that they're supposed to be in bed after nine, then I doubt they ever will. Not to mention we all leave tomorrow, so there's sure to be tons of people out of bed tonight.
Eurgh.
I'll write more tomorrow. Something tells me I'll have lots to tell you.
A/N:
Thanks for your LOVELY reviews! This got a lot more than I expected. Thanks to those who actually reviewed after favoriting/following my story. ^.^ GriffinRoar777, Hufflepuff's Princess, halopez18, jake, magicalninjaunicorn, and the other guests... I LOVE you guys!