Hi

It's Fearofchicken13

I know I said I would be on here more. And I could make excuses all day long.

But honestly?

I've been in a kind of slump. I've tried to come out of it and maybe that works for a day or a month but it always seems to come back.

And it's not because of Fan fiction because you guys know I love you. I've just been kind of down.

Summer hasn't been going my way.

Life has never gone my way and I guess I forgot how much Fan fiction got me through some of the biggest things. Reading Kndfangirls story "the Dance" got me through some depressing times.

So for now I am back. I can't say I'll write as much as I used to but I promise I'll give it a shot.

I'm going to take back my life. I'm down with regretting not writing and being sad.

Recently I've come across some strange motivation. Making realize what's really important. This. My writing.

In this story someone realizes a similar thing.

What he said was repetitive.

"You have to tell her,"

He only said it once but the way that it would repeat itself over and over again in my mind completely threw me off.

Why was I considering this?

I just couldn't believe it. He had told me to tell her before. To tell her I think of her. To tell her that I base my descions around her.

To tell her I love her.

Many people have told me that. Not just him. People say I should tell her because I'm just wasting my time not being with her when I should be. I've never listened before.

How was today any different?

I looked up. I realized I had still not given him answer. It had been only a few seconds but it felt like an hour. An hour of me realizing that Hoagie was right.

In the past when someone brought it up, casually slipping it into conversation, I denied it. "Me? Her? Ew!" that, of course, only confirmed the obvious but I never spoke of my feelings for the girl.

Today started out as any other. Literally as any other day. I woke up in the tree house and got dressed. Ate breakfast and went back to my room to get my orange hoodie. Hoagie, my best friend, followed me. After he gave his advice I just stood there. I didn't deny anything. I just kept thinking it over

And then a scary thought hit came to me. I was actually considering it.

My heart skipped a beat and the adrenaline rush started.

N-no…I can't just tell her…

I looked at my friend up from the floor and realized exactly how much time I had been wasting.

Wasting being "Just her friend" and suddenly every second I wasted played in my head. For only a moment I thought over each and every time I meant to tell her, could've told her, and just was with her and wasn't with her. Then the advice started to play. All the times someone told me I could do it and I doubted myself. Suddenly the regret became self-awareness. I wasn't out of time.

Without saying anything to Hoagie, I pushed past him, sending him painfully into my wall (sometimes I don't know my own strengths haha) and continued out into the hall.

I had to tell Kuki something.

I hope you liked it. I was in a motivation kind of mood.

Since I've been absent a while there a ton of 3/4 stories out there for me to read no doubt so I'll be doing that.

Review? Maybe?