Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

A Path Through the Dark

A modern day Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman FanFic

Chapter Eighteen

The elevator opened and Michaela stepped out into the large atrium. Her footsteps echoed in the large open space reminding her of the emptiness of this part of the building on the weekend. She stopped in front of the large glass doors with the blackness behind remembering how she'd felt the first time she walked through them. Michaela knew what it meant to be named chief of surgery at her age, never mind the fact that she was a woman. This was what she had wanted. This was what she had worked so hard for. Yet standing here now, she felt more confused than sure about her future. The office inside had never felt like her office. The big office was supposed to make her feel powerful but it just made her feel isolated. And she grew everyday to hate that more and more.

Michaela swiped her badge opening the automatic doors and watched as the lights came on in response to her movement. She turned around then and looked out of the glass doors, across the atrium of the hospital where she could see the movement of people- visitors and staff. She thought about Boston and her mother's comment about the job openings at the hospital. Would she feel less isolated there? It was a thought - one she wasn't quite ready to deal with.

With a sigh, she turned back and trudged through the maze of desks to her office door where she had to swipe her id for a second time. Michaela moved over and opened the blinds to let in the bright sun of the cold December day before turning to take her laptop out of her bag. She docked it and then watched as the monitor flicked to life. She'd made a plan on her drive over to the hospital. First there was email she needed to answer but then she was going to make some rounds. It was not unusual for her to do this on a Sunday but today she had a secondary mission.

Thankfully the emails she needed to return were not many and she managed to finish in about forty five minutes. Michaela grabbed her lab coat from the hook behind her office door and placed a stethoscope around her neck. Taking a deep breath, she left the confines of her office and headed across the atrium to the west wing of the hospital.

The charge nurse's station was her first stop where she asked her normal patient questions and made notes about which rooms she wanted to visit.

As if right on cue, Anna, the charge nurse smiled at her. "So how was the party?"

Michaela shrugged. "Ok, I suppose."

"Just ok?" She raised her eyebrows as the corners of her mouth turned down.

Michaela recognized the nurse's curiosity and for once in her life didn't' mind satisfying it. "Well the party was fine but the other events of the weekend have cast a pallor on everything."

"Everything okay?"

The first pangs of doubt hit her and she swallowed hard. Could she really do this? Could she really air her personal life so freely? Michaela dropped her head as she reconsidered her earlier decision.

Thankfully, Anna just saw a woman struggling with her emotions and she reached out to touch her arm. "Is it David?"

Michaela nodded pressing her lips together. Had David already been here? Believing he had, she quietly said "David and I have decided to end our engagement."

"Oh, Dr. Quinn, I'm so sorry." Anna placed her hand on Michaela's arm.

"It's alright," Michaela said stoically. "This is for the best."

Anna nodded but looked at her sympathetically. "Doesn't make it easy, even if it is for the best." She rolled her eyes and let out a sound of disgust. "Men are such dogs," she added. Michaela cocked her head to the side in surprise but tried really hard to hide it. "You've always been too good for him."

Michaela felt the heat on her cheeks and realized then that some of the other nurses were listening in. "I don't know about that," she quickly replied. "But this is for the best." Eyes moved around uneasily and Michaela felt that there was something they all knew. Given Anna's reaction, David wasn't quite the saint he claimed to be.

"Dr. Quinn, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You'll find the right one."

"Or have fun trying." One of the nurses chimed in with a wide impish grin on her face. Anna looked at her with a frown. "What? There are many good looking single doctors at this hospital who are going to jump at this news."

Another nurse that Michaela recognized from the NICU jumped in. "Plus Hannah's father. He's hot. And I think he likes Dr. Quinn."

The thought of Sully made Michaela blush and she hoped that none of the nurses had noticed. "Maybe after a time," she said demurely as she pondered an exit. She let a half smile settle on her lips. "I should get moving."

"And we need to get moving too," Anna said with a quick look around at the nurses who had gathered. As Michalea backed away, she knew she'd been successful. Perhaps too successful. She'd planned another visit upstairs but she had a feeling that word was going to spread quickly.

This plan was her preemptive strike against David but the conversation was more revealing than she bargained for. Michaela didn't want to think about this right now but her mind refused to think on anything else. Had David been cheating on her? The thought made her angry but only because it made her feel foolish.

As she rounded the corner, deep in thought, she wasn't even watching who was walking by. She jumped as someone grabbed her arm. "Michaela? You alright?" It was Will.

Michaela nodded as she sucked a quick breath in. "Sorry, you just startled me."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Before Michaela had a chance to answer, he moved in closer to her. "I've spoken with David."

For the second time in a few short minutes, Michaela felt her temper flare. "I'm fine," she snapped pulling her arm away from Will.

"I can't say I believe you." His voice was still hushed and low. "I think we need to talk."

Michaela let out a shaky breath wanting to tell him no but she didn't want anyone to witness any sort of heated exchange between the two of them. She nodded without meeting his eyes and then turned quickly leading the way to his office which was closer than hers.

Michaela stopped just shy of the door and let Will swipe his id to enter even though she knew hers would open the door as well. Once inside, she walked to the window while Will watched her. "Michaela are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she assured him but her voice was still making a sound that said otherwise. She turned to face the doctor. "I really am fine. This wasn't a snap decision on my part. I've been considering ending the engagement for awhile."

"I guessed as much."

"I'm upset because I hate having people in my personal life." She sat down on the couch and looked over at Will. "I'm upset because I think David's made a fool of me."

"I think David's upset for a similar reason."

Michaela stood quickly. "I don't care if David's upset."

Will stood up too. "Michaela sit. I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have said that."

"What's he told you Will? That I've been cheating on him?" Her voice was shrill - the very tone Michaela hated.

"He told me about Sully." Will's voice was calm and measured, trying to disarm her.

"And what did he tell you? Because the only thing I said to him is that I've grown close to Sully. I kissed him. I kissed him once! He doesn't get to twist this."

"You are right." Will looked at her straight on and nodded as he spoke. "You're right Michaela. He doesn't get to twist this."

Michaela wanted to be angry with Will but she found her fury leaving her as quickly as it had come. "But he is."

"Sit," Will said as he picked up a box of tissues and walked towards her. It was only then that Michaela was aware of the tears on her cheeks. She sat and took a tissue, dabbing at her eyes, hating the weakness she felt they represented. "He can say what he wants Michaela. You don't know how people see you… how people see him."

"What does everyone know that I don't?" she sniffed.

"I don't know Michaela. Has he been cheating? I don't know. I've never been David's confidant even though he's wanted me to think I was. People tend to underestimate me because I'm a good listener." Michaela hoped he wasn't referring to her. "But don't underestimate others. They know you are a person of character. They know a man would have to be amazing to be worthy of you." He paused and made sure that he had her attention. "They know he wasn't worthy of you."

Michaela put her hands against her cheeks hoping to pull some of the heat out of them. Was what Will said true? She let his words wash over her, still unable to take them all in. A long slow breath left her lips as she laid back against the couch surprised at how tense her body was. "I don't want my private life to affect work."

Will turned his body towards her, settling against the arm of the couch. "That may be beyond your control."

Michaela sighed. "I know." She willed herself to relax, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Slowly, she exhaled and imagined the tension leaving through her fingers and toes.

"That's impressive."

Michaela didn't open her eyes. "What?"

"Perfect relaxation technique."

"I've been in counseling," She joked. "And I am a good student."

Will let out a low laugh, trying to gage whether laughing was going to make her angry again. Michaela opened her eyes and looked over at him doubtfully. "I'm your friend Michaela and I'm the leader of your grief group but you aren't technically my patient." Michaela sat up and studied him wondering what was coming. "Could I be your doctor for a second?"

"Sure." Her tone was one of someone who had already lost the battle.

"I think that this break-up is for the best. This has been awhile in the making. I think things began to unravel long before your father's death if you're honest with yourself." Michaela shrugged but gave a slight nod of her head at the same time. "You know that grief takes awhile. It's not an overnight process." The doctor stopped scrutinizing her face closely.

The silence made Michaela nervous. "I know," she voiced to fill the space more than anything.

"Be careful, Michaela. You need time to heal. You don't need to jump directly into another relationship."

Michaela knit her brows and frowned. She wasn't sure what Will had been about to say but somehow she didn't think it was going to hit on Sully. Instantly, she felt defensive. "I'm not rushing into anything."

Will touched her arm. "You've both been through a very hard time but you can't build a relationship on that and I'm worried that if you try to, you might both walk away even more hurt."

Pressing her lips together, she carefully considered his words. She felt chided and that made her angry but she didn't lash out. Michaela knew that there was truth in Will's words even if she didn't particularly want to hear this right now. Sully was very different than her. Did they have enough in common to even build a relationship on?

"Michaela?"

With a shake of her head, she sat forward. "Thank you, Will." Her voice was reserved and quiet. "You've given me a lot to think about."

"I'm here whenever you need to talk." Will reached out and squeezed her upper arm.

"Thanks," she whispered, rising quickly and making a hasty retreat out of the doctor's office.