Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners.

"Will you hurry up with the damned disclaimer already?" A rather impatient person goaded on through a face of nonchalance.

Almost done, Yuuji. Ah...The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way-

"The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material," Yuuji quickly finished. "No copyright infringement is intended."

Ah...Thanks Sakamoto.

"No problem," Yuuji yawned. "Now hurry up. Shouko's going to quite literally kill me if I'm late for this date she planned for."

The plot-line will keep you quite safe, dear.

"That woman will rip through the tender threads of plot that hold me together like it's nothing," Yuuji commented as he grabbed for a dress shirt. "She's completely oblivious to it. She'll do anything to get me to marry her. With her intelligence, bringing me under her fist will be as easy as breaking the fourth wall."

Like what you're doing now?

"I should be heading out now. I'll see you again, you dull narrator."

Someone as insolent as you deserve to live a short life.

Yuuji scoffed as he threw on his linen suit. He made sure to leave behind a loud bang as he kicked the door closed.

"Damned narrator," Yuuji cursed as he skipped down the stairs of his front porch.

Unfortunately, his troublesome day wouldn't start until a bit later. Perhaps Yuuji himself had an inkling of what was to come, for goosebumps suddenly crawled up and down his body.

"Damn allergies," he cursed again, glancing around him slightly. There was really nothing to see. Even the sky was devoid of clouds. Dazzling sunlight blocked out the minor details of life.

Nonetheless, Yuuji became rather apprehensive.

Was it yesterday's leftovers? I do have a slight stomachache. Maybe it's from that punch I got from yesterday's brawl, Yuuji pondered.

"Yuuji..."

Never mind. It's that sadistic woman who swore herself to me.

"Shouko..."

"You're not wearing a tie. Your clothes are unkempt. There are stains," Shouko bluntly whispered at him, outstretching her arms in an attempt to fix them.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Yuuji asked through clenched teeth. He pushed her, gently, away from him, and looked the other way.

"I don't need your help at all! I'm fine with how I look!" Yuuji added, crossing his arms.

"Don't be a tsundere," Shouko whispered as she embraced him from behind.

It was an iron grip.

"H-hey! Let me go! And where did you learn that term from?" Yuuji futilely struggled.

"Ero-manga," Shouko whispered into his ear. "I have some in my purse." Shouko shifted her weight slightly, and Yuuji took this chance to break free from her grip.

"Let me see your purse!" Yuuji demanded.

"Are you interested, too?" Shouko winked. Yuuji ripped through the contents, and took out several suspicious-looking books.

"Wait," Yuuji cried after flipping through them. "These are yaoi books!"

"Don't you...do that with Aki anyways?" Shouko placed a hand on her cheeks as she blushed.

"What kind of sick woman are you?!" Yuuji stormed off. "I have my priorities set right!"

"You didn't deny it. Maybe you're the seme...?" Shouko trailed off with a sigh.

She belongs in an asylum! Yuuji panicked.

"Let's uh...head to the park now, aye?"

"Did you bring everything?" Shouko asked.

"About as much as I could carry," Yuuji replied, tossing a rather large body bag onto his back.

"Let's go then," Shouko ordered. But not before placing a collar around Yuuji's neck.

"What's the meaning of this?" Yuuji tugged at it.

"I will not let you look at other girls."

I'm not walking out of this with my eyes intact. No doubt there will be plenty of scantily-clad women...

Sensing his distress, Shouko blindfolded Yuuji as well.

"I..What the hell is the meaning of this?" Yuuji cried out in disgust.

"Get on your knees, dog," Shouko commanded softly.

"I refuse!"

Shouko tugged on the collar, and then kneed him down. When Yuuji attempted to fight back, she placed a hand on his neck and squeezed deeply.

"You will comply. Or else...I force your parents to sign that wedding form."

"Gah! Okay!" Yuuji forfeited as he got down on all fours.

"Let's go, doggy."