A/N: Please note that I will update every few days. Thank you and please review. Also, please note that I did make changes to the scenes from the movie.

WARNING: Copious amounts of Angst.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Star Trek franchise or its characters.

Chapter 1

"Spock." McCoy's voice trembled slightly. "Spock. It's Jim. He's—"His voice cut off, blinking back tears. Struggling to swallow his emotion down, he continued, "He's gone, Spock."

Spock stared at the viewing screen. Outwardly, his body stood still, unflinching. On the inside, he felt a knife rip through his chest. His breath caught in his throat. A wave of sadness slammed into him as he pictured Jim's face, that warm smirk, his soft voice saying his name. The last words that Jim spoke to him before he left to help see off the new Enterprise echoed in his mind, "I know you've been busy, but I miss you. Promise you'll come to see me when I get back?" Spock remembered as Jim shook his head slightly, smiling as he looked down in a slight sense of hopelessness. His honey eyes darting back up to look at him, "I know I usually don't say this but," he trailed off, eyes wandering off in deep thought before he continued, "I just want to say, I love you. Please don't forget me."

"Spock?" His name forced back the sudden memory, reality materializing before him. McCoy's blue eyes filled with pain, concerned as he stared back at him. "Say something." When Spock did not respond his eyes flooded with anger. "Say something, dammit! You have to feel something, don't you feel anything? And don't give me 'I'm a Vulcan' because we both know that's bull!" He nearly shouted, a faint red tinting his face, eyes growing wet.

"Doctor," Spock began, a small strain to his voice, "I apologize that my reaction is not satisfactory enough for you, but it is a logical one, my emotions will not bring him back from the dead." He looked away from those blue eyes, the judgment he saw within them clenched his stomach. He had known Jim was gone, he had felt it, but something nagged at him. Tugging annoyingly at the back of his mind, whispering that he wasn't completely gone, but it felt too illogical to acknowledge.

A frustrated huff echoed through the room.

"I can't believe you, you cold heartless green-blooded hobgoblin! This is Jim! He loved you and don't you sit there and pretend you didn't love him either." McCoy snapped at him and it caused Spock to finally glance back to the screen.

"Vulcan's do not 'pretend', doctor."

"Yeah, but humans do! Dammit Spock, maybe you didn't deserve him if this is how—" His voice trailed off as pain fleeted across Spock's face, his dark eyes began to dampen. McCoy's face softened, the anger fading from him, "Spock, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"I believe you did, doctor. I'm afraid I must sign off, I have some preparations to attend to." The words came out icily.

McCoy nodded slowly, glancing down in shame, "Of course, Spock. I'll leave you to it." He looked up and opened his mouth to say something else but quickly closed it. His voice filled with emotion as he spoke softly, "McCoy out."

The screen blackened.

Spock stood there in the silence. A small tremble began working its way through his body. Jim's words flooding back again.

"I miss you."

The words echoed through the silence.

"I love you."

He could see them—Jim's pained eyes, pleading Spock to speak those words back, those eyes longing for him.

"Don't forget me."

No, he would never forget. His barriers began to crack, memories of Jim flipping through his mind at an intense rate. The moment he met him, all those moments of them sitting in their quarters together, playing chess in the rec room, the glances Jim gave him when he thought he wasn't looking, the day Jim confessed his feelings, the tender moments when they were alone, Jim's voice, Jim's smile, his scent, those eyes. Something snapped inside him.

He was gone. He hadn't been there to protect him. He didn't say he loved him back and now it was too late. The barriers smashed and a strangled sob escaped him as he collapsed to his knees. Reaching inside a pocket from his coat, he shakily pulled out a picture, tracing his finger gingerly over Jim's smiling face. Droplets fell onto the glossy image, trailing down the edge before dripping off.

"I love you." Spock whispered, another sob wracking his body. "T'hy'la, I love you."

The memory slipped away as the image of a younger Jim transformed before him. Winded and confused, the man laid there waiting for a response of any kind, startling blue eyes staring up at him cautiously. Spock felt a jolt run through his body, from the deadened part of his mind, warmth seeped through. His heart fluttered for a brief moment as his mind processed the familiar face. A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed it down, fighting the tears that began to blur his vision.

"You are James T. Kirk." Voice cracking slightly at the end. "How did you find me?" The thought that possibly Jim knew he was in trouble and sought him out as usual comforted him for a moment.

"What?" The man breathed questionably before stumbling to his feet. "Who are you?" His voice lined heavily with distrust.

The warmth Spock felt slipped away slightly. This Jim did not recognize him, he was different. Although, the confusion on his face mirrored his Jim's confused face perfectly, he was still Jim, but not his Jim. A small pang rang out in his chest, was this how he had felt when Spock was revived and didn't recognize him on Mount Seleya? He remembered Jim's pleading eyes, the pain so fierce it had confused him on why this man was hurt so badly and when Spock remembered his name, the happiness that radiated off of him was so intense it nearly took his breath away.

Spock pushed the thought away. An idea flickered through his mind, a glimmer of hope that maybe he could jolt a memory within this younger counterpart.

"I have now, and always shall be—" He fought the words for a moment. He wanted Jim to know that he was his, that he was his T'hy'la. That this Jim would not have to be alone and not spend as long not knowing how much he was loved like his Jim had. But he knew if he ended it with his usual "yours" it would draw suspicion, questions and could possibly scare him. This time stream he had entered should not be disrupted any further than it already had been, even if the pain he felt inside threatened to rip him apart. He finished with, "Your friend."

A soft laugh escaped Jim's lips, a small smile played upon his face as he glanced down away from him. A smile twitched at Spock's mouth as he recognized this familiar motion. He knew his T'hy'la well enough to know what the gesture meant. That he had said something preposterous.

"Listen, I don't understand how you know my name. I've never met you." Those blue eyes were filled with suspicion.

"I am Spock."

His eyes furrowed as he glanced him over.

"Bullshit, you're lying."

His eyebrow arched in curiosity, this Jim had a fire to him. But he took that as immaturity, when he had met his Jim they were older, more experienced. A small spark of hope erupted in his mind. Jim knew him. They had been acquainted somehow even though he was still very young. Maybe he did not mess up the time stream too much. Maybe this Jim and his other counterpart could form the same bond he and his Jim had. Maybe, somehow, he could see his Jim again.

"A Vulcan cannot lie." The words came out flatly.

He huffed, shaking his head. "Is there somewhere we can sit, possibly warm? I'm freezing."

Spock to note to how Jim's body shook and gestured to his right, a fire blazing from the part of the cave he had been taking shelter in. Jim nodded slightly and quickly brushed passed him into the clearing, squatting and rubbing his hands together. Spock walked to a log and steadily sat down, placing the club that was still in his hand back into the pile of flaming wood in-between them.

The young man huffed air into his frozen fingers, staring intensely into the flames. Spock watched him, tracing his features with his eyes; the chiseled jaw that he once caressed, the blond hair that he remembered was so soft between his fingers, those soft lips he longed to kiss again. His body ached to reach out to him, to have him in his embrace, to hold him close and never let him go. To give him the love he deprived from his Jim for so long.

Jim must have sensed him staring, he darted his eyes up at him questionably.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing is wrong. In fact, I am very pleased to see you, old friend, especially after the events of today."

A saddened expression crossed over the young face.

"Oh, I had almost forgotten about your planet. I'm sorry."

"Do not apologize, you are not at fault." He said softly. This sympathy from him felt so warm and familiar. Remembering the times that Jim had blamed himself for mistakes Spock had made. His heart felt heavy.

"You're different." Spock's eyebrow arched and Jim chuckled. "You're nothing like the Spock I know. He's not exactly as warm as you are and definitely not one for casual conversation."

"Indeed." Spock spoke with a slight hint of amusement in his voice. "Seeing as I have not met him, I can only assume you are correct."

A grin crept across his face. A glimpse of an older Jim grinning flashed before Spock but quickly faded.

"Well, he is the reason why I'm here talking with you now. Marooned me on this planet for 'mutiny', if you can believe it?"

"Mutiny? You are not the captain?" Guilt exploded over his mind. When he served on the Enterprise, he never sought after captainship. He preferred to serve under Jim, and felt comfortable as second in command. In this universe, his younger counterpart seemed to be just the opposite, and somewhat ruthless. To cast out Jim in any way had never crossed his mind in his lifetime, and now because of his mistake their relationship seemed to be crumbling before him, and Jim's career was stolen.

Another exasperated huff rang out.

"No." He nearly laughed, "No, you are. Pike was taken—"

"By Nero?" Spock interjected.

Shock erupted over his face, eyes widening.

"What do you know about him?"

Spock dropped his eyes. How could he tell him about his mistake? How could he tell Jim that he was the reason why he may never be able to be with the person he was meant for, why he was here on Delta Vega and not in the captain's chair, how millions of lives were now gone forever, and what unknown other changes may have occurred in his T'hy'la's life. He glanced up to those blue eyes, so pure but coated with a deep pain that Spock could not place. What was the extent of damage he had done to this universe? Could he fix this?

Jim, he thought to himself, what would you do? I need you.