Daryl Dixon woke up. His body felt cold. Looking down, he examined his body, moonlight streaming through his bedroom window. He screamed.

It was green.

It was tight and very, very green.

The thong provided no protection from nature's forces. Where did this article of clothing come from? Daryl Dixon had never seen anything like it, but he thought he enjoyed it. Picking up his crossbow, he crept downstairs, trying to be silent in the night.

It was scratchy.

But he liked the way it fit his body.

Daryl Dixon ran outside, the cold air stinging his body. The neon green of the thong glowed in the night. When he saw a slight glow radiating from the fabric, he looked down at the front. The words "THE GREEN ARROW" were across the front in glow-in-the-dark letters.

"You've got to be kidding me," Daryl laughed. His arrow was definitely NOT green.

But then he heard something stir in the thicket behind the house. The bushes rustled as the figure of a man walked out. Rick stumbled into the clearing. He was clad in a stained, pink thong. It was encrusted with glittering crystals, and it said "PRINCESS" on it with rhinestones.

"Rick!" Daryl exclaimed, taken aback by his attire.

Rick eyed Daryl's junk. "Daryl, what are you doing out here?"

Suddenly a horde of zombies ran out of the forest. They were wearing matching thongs that said "COME AT ME BRO" on the front. They were engaging in some sort of synchronized dance.

"What are they doin'?" Rick said, scratching his balls through the pink thong.

"Is this normal?" Daryl picked up his crossbow.

The zombies were slowly advanving. Except they were doing a thing. And this thing made Rick drool and Daryl uncomfortable. He shifted awkwardly in his lime green thong. The way the zombies moved their butts was so fascinating. Instead of shooting, Daryl set down his crossbow. He could hear rap music playing in the distance. As it got louder, the zombies began to bounce their butts faster.

"RICK!" Daryl screamed.

His friend had joined them, shaking his junk like he was infected too.

"C'mon man, I'm twerking faster than you can shoot!" Rick laughed, wiggling his butt.

Daryl began to cry.

He ran into the woods, branches and leaves scratching his bare body.

This was it.

The twerking dead.

I am so so so so so sorry. (just kidding)