A Journey of Heartache
Chapter 1
The sun rose early one Friday morning and the alarm screeched. Horatio hit the button and then rolled onto his side and pulled Zoë close to him. He felt her warm body make contact with his but kept his eyes closed as he took a deep breath and inhaled her scent. He felt her back against his chest as he pulled her top up and skimmed his fingers over her stomach.
"Mmm, morning handsome" she said with a smile already tugging at her lips as she placed one of her hands over his forearm as he continued to rub her stomach lightly.
"Morning beautiful" he replied as he nuzzled at the back of her head, burying his nose into her hair and feeling more peaceful when the fragrance of her hair engulfed him.
"Have you got your gun in bed with us or are you just really happy this morning?" She asked casually but with a cheeky smile pulling at her lips. She then listened to his husky chuckle which made her melt inside.
"What do you think?" Horatio questioned as he pressed his lips against the back of her neck. Her insides quivered when she felt his lips move over her skin. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as she exhaled and closed her eyes briefly to really concentrate on his lips. He then felt his tongue lightly skim up her neck which made her shiver and giggle.
"I think you're really happy." Zoë said with a wide smile as she wiggled her ass a little.
"Mm-hmm." Horatio moaned softly as he felt her ass move against himself. "I wouldn't do that or you won't be getting out of this bed at all today." Horatio whispered softly against her neck, causing her insides to quiver again when she felt his warm breath move over her skin.
"Is that a promise?" She grinned and he could hear the playfulness in her voice. His smile widened as he placed a kiss on the back of her neck again.
"I can make it a promise." Horatio growled seductively as he kissed her neck once more. He felt her take a deep breath as she bit her lip. 'Oh my gosh, why is he so damn sexy? I've not yet looked at him and he's already turned me into a quivering ball of sexual hormones.' She thought to herself. They both laid together for a few more minutes, just laying silently and enjoying each other's touch.
"Mmm, it's Friday, isn't it?" She asked softly, breaking the silence and then felt him nod. "This is going to be one long day." She sighed warmly as she hugged Horatio's arms as they tightened around her. He held her tightly against his body as he took in her scent more. 'I could never get tired of her aroma.' Horatio thought to himself.
"Hmm, are you sure you don't want me to come up to New York with you? It'll make it easier as you won't have to drive the whole way." Horatio asked softly as he traced his fingers from the top of her shorts, to her belly button and then up to her ribs.
"I'm sure, but thank you handsome. There won't be enough room in the car as we'll be using the front passenger seat as well." She said softly and he nodded with a low groan as he placed his palms against her stomach and splayed his fingers out to take in as much skin as he could.
"Okay, but you're to call me every hour and–" Horatio said softly and she nodded with a cheeky grin.
"When I get to Joe's and no crazy driving, I know handsome, don't worry about it." She said softly, finishing his sentence and she felt the smile across his face as he kissed her shoulder once he lifted his head. "Come on, we should get up." She said softly as she turned her head to look up at the white ceiling but he just held onto her as he placed his head back down onto his pillow. She exhaled a chuckle as she looked back over to the bedside table on her side. "It wasn't long ago that you had to literally drag me out of bed every morning, now the tables have turned, huh?" She asked and he nodded and then kissed her neck once more, but this time she felt him run his tongue up from the nape of her neck to just below her hairline. She felt her skin tingle under his lips and tongue as his hands moved and pulled her top up more. She felt him cup her and groaned inwardly as she closed her eyes. She could feel her body begging for him. "We've got work, Horatio." She said quietly as she felt one hand move from her breast to her stomach.
"I know." He said as his right hand that was on her breast pulled at the cup of her bra and quickly found her nipple.
"Please don't Horatio." She begged softly as she turned onto her other side and opened her eyes to look into his sleepy blue eyes as he opened his.
"I know you want to as well." He said softly with a mischievous grin as he pulled her closer and felt her against his large arousal.
"I would love to, but I'm still on my period, Horatio." She said softly and Horatio nodded and then innocently traced her spine with his fingertips.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay working all day today and then driving all that way in the car?" Horatio asked as he tenderly nuzzled her nose with his. She could see the slight worry in his eyes, but she knew he worried excessively anyway.
"I'll be fine, you know just how much a can of RedBull wakes me up anyway." She chuckled warmly as her fingertips lightly made circles in the skin at his very lower back.
"Yes, well, your hyperactivity could also be equally as dangerous." He said softly with his concern growing more evident.
"I'll be fine handsome, you have to stop worrying about me so much. What are you going to be like when our children are old enough to drive themselves?" She asked with a small giggle as she ran her hand up and down his back.
He raised his eyebrows at her as a smug smile appeared across his face. "They're not driving until they're 25 and will be driving accompanied with either you or myself for another 5 years after that." He smiled and she chuckled as she gently shook her head. 'Somehow, I believe him too…' Zoë thought to herself.
"Come on, I need a shower." She said softly and he nodded and then kissed her. She got up after kissing him and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. She then came back out a few minutes later and picked up two towels. She threw one at Horatio playfully and then walked over to the en-suite.
"Mmm" he moaned as he sat up with a smile as the towel fell from his chest. She turned and winked at him as she closed the door too as she blew him a kiss. He got up with a smile on his face and walked into the main bathroom and showered himself, feeling very good in himself, despite his looming fear of Zoë leaving for the entire weekend. He walked into the bedroom just as Zoë was pulling on a pink shirt. She turned to him with a bright smile and then did her buttons up while she stood in front of the full-length mirror.
"I'm still really heavy for some reason…" she said casually as he pulled a shirt from the wardrobe and laid it on the bed with his suit trousers.
"You're not heavy, Zoë." Horatio said as he looked at her slightly confused as he sorted his boxers out.
"No my period, it's still heavy for some reason, I should be light by now." She said as she chuckled.
"Perhaps it's because you missed your period last time?" He asked softly and she pouted at herself in the mirror as she began to think. 'That's probably a credible reason.' She thought to herself.
"It could be I suppose." She said softly as she looked at him and nodded.
"You're not even that heavy, compared to other women…" Horatio said quietly as he pulled his trousers up and looked over to her sweetly.
"How would you know that, Horatio?" She chuckled as she began to brush her hair with an amused frown.
"Well… I don't know really." He said softly as he looked at her and pulled his zipper up.
"Yeah, I thought so…" She said as she raised an eyebrow at him with a small chuckle. She looked back to herself in the mirror and tucked her shirt in. "Kaitlin gets heavier periods though, poor woman." Zoë sighed softly as Horatio stood up and looked at her grimly. She glanced over to him and saw that he wasn't too enthused by the snippet of information she'd given him.
"I… I really didn't need to know that sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he stood up straight and placed his hands on his hips.
"Sorry." She said softly as she gave him a shy smile and he nodded as another smile formed on his face as he glanced down.
"Coffee?" He asked freshly as he looked back up at her.
"Thank you handsome." She said softly and he smiled and then walked out after giving her another kiss. She finished straightening her hair and then walked downstairs.
"Are you going straight from work, or are you coming back and then leaving later?" Horatio asked softly as he handed her a mug while she walked into the kitchen.
"Thank you, I'm coming back, having a quick shower and change and then heading straight off, so I'll go to work and come back in your car." She said softly and he nodded as he leant on the counter and admired her slender body.
"Okay sweetheart, what are you doing about food?" He asked softly as he looked back up and into her eyes as she leant on the counter in front of him with a natural smile.
"I've already got that covered, I have a stash of crisps in my car already." She smiled and he chuckled.
"You cannot go that long just eating crisps, sweetheart." Horatio said softly as his eyes dropped to the top of her shirt. A smug grin appeared across his face when he got a look at her small cleavage.
"I know, don't worry. I'll get something from the shop." She said softly and he nodded while his eyes focussed on her breasts.
"Sweetheart, don't shoot me please… but could you do another button up when we leave the house?" Horatio asked softly and she frowned at him and then realised his eyes were fixated on her chest. She looked down and realised that he was getting the full view. She stood up with a small chuckle and did the next button up. "I didn't say do it now…" Horatio said cheekily as she leant back on the counter.
"You cheeky sod." She grinned at him with a giggle as she picked up a magazine and playfully swatted him in the side of the head, lightly. He began to chuckle as he quickly pulled the magazine from her hand. "Did you see a proper cleavage?" She asked with a grin before biting her lip.
"Mmm-hmm." Horatio hummed softly as he nodded at her and raised his eyebrows as he placed the magazine back down.
"I've got some new push-up things, that's why. They're massive." Zoë beamed and then watched Horatio glance down to the counter.
"You don't need any bigger ones, sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he looked back up at her.
"Why? They kind of give me a cleavage. I'm a woman, I should be allowed to have a proper cleavage." She said softly before sipping her coffee as she stood back up.
"Zoë, your breasts are perfect the way they are. Quite frankly a cleavage on you looks weird." Horatio said softly and she raised an eyebrow as she leant forwards with an unreadable expression.
"Excuse me?" She asked as she blinked at few times and tilted her head. He swallowed as he looked at her. He felt his heart rate pick up. 'I've just gone and stepped right in it.' Horatio thought to himself.
"I didn't mean weird. I mean that you can look out of proportion when you try and make your breasts look much bigger. You're breasts are perfect, they turn me on much more when you don't have things stuffed down your bra, creating a cleavage. A lot of women don't have cleavages, sweetheart, it seems to be coming into fashion. A lot of famous women are wearing those dresses that you can't wear if you have larger breasts and a cleavage. I think the push-up pads are too big this time, I don't have a problem with you wearing your normal ones because they generally enhance your confidence and don't give you a cleavage–" He kept trying to think of things to keep going as he studied her very displeased facial expression before she cut him off.
"It's probably a good idea to stop digging now, you'll dig yourself too deep otherwise and I might walk away with the ladder." She said calmly as she sipped her coffee. He looked at her, looking worried.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry." Horatio apologised after he swallowed and tried to judge whether she was very annoyed or not. "All I'm saying is that I prefer it when you don't have a cleavage… when there's nothing for other men to stare at when you lean over." Horatio said quietly.
"I'm going to walk away with that ladder any moment. If you prefer my breasts without a cleavage, then why did you almost dislocate your jaw when you were looking down my shirt?" She questioned looking slightly pissed with him, but mostly calm.
"Well… they're still your breasts." Horatio said quietly as he looked down to his coffee as it started to lose its heat. "Zoë, I just don't want other men looking at you. You already get enough looks as it is and I can deal with that. But if you make them bigger, more heads will turn and I don't want to see other men ogling you." Horatio sighed honestly and she relaxed slightly.
"There, why didn't you just say that at the start instead of digging yourself a hole?" Zoë questioned looking much less annoyed as she sipped her coffee again. Horatio sighed with relief as he looked down and felt his heart rate decrease. She saw his relief and then smiled down at the coffee.
"I'm sorry, Zo. The wrong word came out and then I began to panic. I thought you were literally about to throw that coffee at me." Horatio said softly as he looked up at her with a gentle expression.
"I may have if you had carried on. Does a cleavage really look weird on me?" She frowned.
"No, but it turns me on a lot more when you don't have a cleavage because you're your natural self. I love the size of your breasts, Zoë. They're just right for you." Horatio said softly and she took a deep breath.
"You may have just escaped a stained suit, you should think yourself lucky. But don't celebrate yet, you can probably still do some digging if you wanted to." Zoë said as she finished her coffee just as Horatio started his.
"Zoë, I'm sorry. But I hope you can understand why I don't like it when you make yourself too big?" Horatio asked.
"Yes, I do. I didn't know you felt like that though, so thank you for telling me. I'll go and put my old ones in." She said as she put her mug in the dishwasher and quickly walked up stairs to change. She came back down and Horatio smiled warmly at her.
"I see that button has slipped open." Horatio said bravely.
"I have to have my shirt completely done up too? I don't have a cleavage now though, look. It's not even as if anyone can see anything, all they can see is my sternum… I don't think that turns anyone on." She said as she bent over and pulled the top of her shirt away from her chest.
"Yes, but men do still look down your shirt when you lean on something, I've noticed that you don't even realise it. I've even caught Frank getting a quick look mostly accidental, but a quick look is all the same." Horatio said lowly.
"You can't blame him. He's a man. You looked when I started out and don't deny it." Zoë said with a small half-smile.
"Yes, but you were a single woman then." Horatio replied.
"How do you know that?" She questioned softly as she placed her hands on her hips and lowered her eyebrows slightly.
"Were you not a single woman?" He asked as he tilted his head.
"Yes, I was. But you can't just assume things like that." Zoë said as she raised an eyebrow. Horatio glanced down at his coffee again and knew he was starting to dig again.
"How's your stomach feeling?" He asked softly as he looked back up at her, wanting to change the subject.
"It's okay, not enough for painkillers." She said softly and he nodded. "You guys really do have life easy." She smiled at him and he chuckled.
"If I could take the pain and everything from you, I would." Horatio said softly.
"Yeah, but then I'd be saying the same to you so we'd be going round in circles." She smiled at him and he chuckled and nodded.
"We should get going soon." Horatio said softly and she nodded and watched him finish his coffee.
"What am I going to do this weekend? It'll be my first weekend away from you really." Zoë said as she looked at him sweetly.
"What am I going to do? My wife is driving up to New York and then back again... without me." Horatio said softly and she giggled lightly as she glanced down.
"I love it when you call me your wife." She grinned and giggled again as she looked up at him. "It still gives me butterflies." She smiled and he chuckled.
"You can come but you will have to sit with a load of stuff on your lap when you're not driving… probably a pile of his dirty washing." Zoë said sweetly and he chuckled as he looked down and raised his eyebrows.
"I'd rather stay here in that case." He said softly and she giggled.
"I thought so." She smiled.
"If there's one thing you learn about Joe is that he hates doing his own washing." Zoë said as Horatio put his mug in the dishwasher. "I've already bet him $10 that he'll bring it over here for me to do for him, or I'll end up putting a load on for him when I go round there." She chuckled.
"That bad, huh?" Horatio asked and she nodded.
"He's useless when it comes to things like that. He as to ring me each time he puts a load on as he forgets how to use his washing machine." She chuckled and Horatio raised his eyebrows in slight shock and confusement. "I know! I tell him it's disgraceful every time, you would have thought that a man with a PhD in Mathematics and Physics would know how to use a washing machine and remember how to use it." She smiled as she walked over to him. "He gets his suits and things done at the dry cleaners though so he does always have clean suits." She said softly and he nodded.
"Anyway, come on." She said softly and he smiled and then walked out with her. They drove off to work, both happy.
"Can we stop off at the shop please?" Zoë asked and Horatio glanced round to her and then nodded.
"What do you need?" He asked softly.
"Chocolate." She said as she got out just after he pulled up outside the shop. She got back into the car with a smile.
"Happy?" He asked and she nodded as she pulled on her seat belt.
"Very." She smiled and then pulled out a dairy milk chocolate bar as he pulled off.
"Do you want one?" She asked and he shook his head.
"If you put the heating on the chocolate could melt and we could go straight back home instead of work." She grinned at him and he chuckled as he glanced over to her.
"I wish, beautiful." He smiled at her and then parked up. They got out and walked into the lab and parted ways after a quick kiss and hug.
"Hey" she smiled as she walked into the break room to see Eric and Walter relaxing before the day. Both men greeted her back.
"You're later than usual." Walter said softly.
"Had to stop off at the shop as I wanted chocolate." She said softly and then took the last bite of the bar and threw the wrapper away. "Anyone want a drink?" She asked as she strolled happily over to the kettle.
"Please." They asked and she pulled 3 mugs from the cupboard.
"You're a lazy bunch, aren't you?" She asked sarcastically and they chuckled lightly.
"I'll make it, I don't mind." Eric said softly as he got up and walked over to her with a gentle smile.
"No it's okay sweetie, I was joking." She said softly as she put the coffee in each mug.
"Sure?" He asked and she nodded with a sweet smile as she gestured for him to move away so she could get the milk out of the fridge. He then pulled a packet of biscuits from the cupboard when he moved over to the overhead cupboard. She looked over to him when she heard the rustle of the packet.
"Ah grab one for me please." She asked warmly and he pulled one out for her to. "Thank you." She smiled at him as she picked up both hers and Walter's mug and handed Walter's to him while she sat down as Eric picked his up. He handed her the biscuit and then sat back down with her. She grunted as her phone began to ring and put the biscuit back down on her thigh as she held the cup in her left hand as she answered her phone.
"Hey Bunny" she said before she sipped her coffee. Walter and Eric began to talk quietly.
"Yeah, I'm at work but I'm not too busy yet. I've just sat down with a coffee." She said softly.
"Yeah, I'm going home after work for a shower and a change of clothes and then I'm coming straight up." She said softly and then looked to Walter as he chuckled lightly. She gave him a smile and sat back.
"Yeah, I should be with you tomorrow afternoonish, perhaps late morning… if I break the speed limit." She said softly and they glanced over at her.
"No… I won't break it. Anyway, you know I drive safely." She said softly.
"Stop your worrying. It's basically a long straight road anyway." She said as she sat back.
"I'd love for Horatio to drive, but there isn't enough room for both of us and taking two cars just defeats the object because we'd both have to drive the whole way that way." She said softly.
"Don't you trust my driving, Joseph?" She questioned with a half-smile before she took a sip of her coffee.
"Oh come on, you're the boy racer. You're crazy." She said as she sipped her coffee again.
"Yes, I'll be making a few short stop offs, quite a few of them I should think." She said as she leant forwards and put the coffee down. "Thank you." She said as Walter took it from her as she couldn't reach the coffee table.
"Well, I'm on my period so I'll need to stop off more than usual." She said softly as she sat back.
"Oh Zoë!" Walter whispered and she looked up at him with a sweet expression.
"What?" She asked innocently as she looked up at him. 'She doesn't even realise she's doing it, what is wrong with this woman?' Walter asked himself sarcastically. He shook his head at her with an amused yet unimpressed expression.
"Yeah, I seem to be a little heavier this time, so more stop offs are needed, you know my slight OCD will play up." She said as she got up and walked over to the sink and wiped her hand as she'd spilt some of the coffee over it.
"No, it's normal Joe, don't panic about that either, I'm not going to die, nothing's wrong." She sighed as she walked back over to them.
"Anyway, I'm going to leave you there now as I've just realised I've just discussed my period in front of the boys." She said as she looked up at them shyly.
"Okay, I'll see you later Bunny, thank you, yep, bye." She said and then hung up and looked at them with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, I forgot where I was." She said as she looked from Eric to Walter.
"You're unbelievable sometimes…" Walter chuckled as he furrowed his eyebrows.
"What? It's just a period… you guys all know I have periods, I'm a woman." She said as she picked her coffee back up and smiled sarcastically at Walter.
"Yeah, but most women keep it quiet…" Walter said softly.
"Am I like most women, Walter?" She asked with a cheeky smile as she raised an eyebrow at him.
"No... that's very true actually." Walter said with a smile of his own and she nodded as she sipped the coffee and then looked over to Eric.
"Sorry sweetie." She said as she looked round to Eric.
"Not a problem, I grew up with my sister, I've heard it all before." Eric said softly and she chuckled.
"Oh good, I can discuss it with you then?" She questioned sarcastically with a cheeky smile.
"I'd rather you didn't." He said softly and she chuckled.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't do that to you." She said softly and he gave her a thankful nod. She then looked down to her thigh as she remembered that she'd put her biscuit there, but remembered that she'd got up so looked to the side on the sofa to see if it had fallen. "What did I do with my biscuit?" She asked as she looked up at Eric.
"You got up when you were on the phone and it fell from your leg, I caught it before it hit the floor and it may have slipped into my mouth instead." Eric said softly with a smile and she giggled as she swatted his arm.
"Cheeky bugger" she smiled at him and then finished her coffee before she placed it back on the coffee table. Eric got up and picked her cup up and then washed both his and Zoë's.
"I need your help on something I found yesterday, Eric." She said softly as she turned to him and he nodded.
"Okay." He said softly.
"I think it may be some sort of modified diving kit, but I'm unsure." She said softly and he nodded as he glanced back to her from washing the mugs up.
"I'll take a look in a moment." He said softly as she got up and wiped the sides down.
"Thank you, I'll be in the lab." She said softly and he nodded before walking out.
"She seems to be in quite a good mood for this time of the month." Walter said softly as he walked up to Eric as he dried his hands.
"Have you not leant your lesson?" Eric questioned as he looked at Walter with a mild frown.
"Sorry, it wasn't anything bad though." Walter shrugged and then used the water Eric had left in for him to wash his mug up.
"I'll see you in the lab." He said as he walked out and over to Zoë and confirmed her thoughts.
"Thank you Eric, you've just closed the case for me." She smiled as she sorted everything out. She looked up with a smile as Horatio walked over to them.
"We have a call out. Zoë, ride with me please." He said softly and she nodded with a sweet smile.
"What have we got?" Zoë asked as she sealed the evidence.
"A bus driver with a bus full of school kids and a dead body on the side of the road." Horatio said as he placed his hands on his hips. Both Zoë and Eric nodded.
"Eric, inform Walter and Miss Boa Vista, please." Horatio said as he walked out with Zoë and Eric nodded. Eric did as he was asked and then made his way over to the scene to see Zoë already processing while Horatio and Frank spoke with the bus driver. Zoë stood as both men approached her.
"It looks like he was beat up bad, or perhaps hit by a car, I can't tell. Alexx will be here in a few minutes though. We've got what looks to be brain matter by his head so it wasn't a low speed collision or a light beating. Poor guy probably didn't even know what hit him." Zoë said softly and they nodded as they all looked over to the very tall, young lad.
"Thank you Zoë." Eric said as the 3 of them parted ways after they nodded at Zoë.
"Frank, can we get these children out of here, please?" Horatio questioned loudly and Frank nodded at him. Horatio then tapped at his ID badge as he looked at the school kids jumping about the bus, thinking that it was fun and great to be late to school. He then looked over to Zoë and a small smile tugged at his lips to see her concentrating hard as she crouched down on the floor, processing something. He then made his way over to her while he still had his hands on his hips. He glanced back when he heard Alexx pull up in her van but continued walking over to Zoë and stopped just before her.
"What have we got beautiful?" Horatio asked softly and she gave him the details she had as she stood. He nodded and then went to talk to Alexx as Zoë began to move away from the scene to see if there was any other evidence such as skid marks.
"Hey Zoë, there's something behind you." Eric called loudly and they all looked over to Zoë.