Okay, so, uh... I'm not sure if anyone has done this or not yet, but I hope not. Phaha~ This is based off the post on tumblr — which I'm sure everyone has seen — where Haru is doing stuff to water. Um... Haha? Tried not to spoil it there. Just read! And if you don't know what I'm talking about... Sorry! I wish I could link it.

Warnings: Total crack and just shit written for some lolz. Also... Haru is OOC, but honestly? He already had to be just for this plot to work, anyway! So why not?

Summary: When Tachibana Makoto goes to fetch his best friend Haruka from his house for school, he expects the whole ordeal to go the same way as it does every morning. Unfortunately for him, Haruka turns out making the morning trip into one he'll never forget. Crack!fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Free! Iwatobi Swim Club or any of it's characters.

"Haruka?"

There's a soft click as a door opens with another one just like it following as it closes back again, a bit of shuffling inbetween.

"Haru-chan?" Seventeen-year-old Tachibana Makoto calls out, looking around his best friend's living room for any sign of the black-haired boy.

I should know better, Makoto thinks to himself with a smile, shaking his head, it's seven in the morning; he's in the tub right now.

That said, Makoto proceeds to move through Haruka's living room, heading up the staircase located between the living room and downstairs bathroom. Haru always soaks in his own personal bathroom upstairs. This is where Makoto expects to find him, just like he has every other morning for the last week since classes started back up.

Something is different about today, however. When the olive-haired teenager arrives at the top of the stairs and glances down the hall in the direction of his friend's room, the door is shut.

He's got it shut? How odd, The boy notes, but thinks nothing of it. Haru slept with his bedroom door shut, he was fairly sure, so maybe he just hasn't gotten out of bed yet.

Wait... Still in bed? If he doesn't hurry up he's gonna be late! Makoto mentally screams, wanting to avoid that scenario if at all possible, and the boy begins to make his way towards his friend's bedroom door.

"Haru?" Makoto calls upon arriving at the hard oak door, knocking briefly before grabbing the knob, beginning to turn it. He opens the door.

"Haru, are you still in bed? You really need to get—" Makoto paused, mouth dropping open at the sight that greeted him from inside the room.

Haruka, the Nanase Haruka, his best friend Nanase Haruka... was sitting at the foot of his bed, three glasses of water placed on the floor in front of him. He was dressed in his swimtrunks, yes, but they were pulled down around his ankles and his legs were spread slightly. Makoto tore his eyes away from the pair of trunks, hesitantly letting them trail upwards. His cheeks flushed a bright red.

Haruka's hand was stroking and kneading at his member, which was blown up into a full-on erection. The boy was leaning back against his other, unoccupied hand, keeping it braced against the bed for support as he panted. The boy's cheeks were flushed and he was slightly sweaty and before Makoto knew it he was actually witnessing as his best friend reached his peak, releasing his body's substance all into the cups of water and all over the floor. It was then Makoto noticed several pieces of newspaper strung out underneath the glasses, probably to avoid any mess.

Panting from his climax but still able to sit up, Haruka raised his left hand to his mouth and Makoto watched as the boy licked some semen from his palm before looking over his way, towards the door. Makoto watched intensely.

Sticking out just his index finger, Haruka placed the digit to his lips in a shushing motion, wanting this to stay a secret between the three of them — Makoto, the water, and himself.

And then it was the usually stotic teenage boy's turn to watch as his best friend nodded, hand coming up to pinch his bleeding nose, and slowly and quietly took a step back, shutting the door behind him as he exited back out of the room.

The experience should have mentally scarred and traumitized the teenager, and he was sure it did, to some degree, but he had no time to worry about that right then.

Because watching Nanase Haruka lose himself in ecstasy to glasses of plain old water had awkwardly but effectively aroused his best friend, Tachibana Makoto.

Holding his nose, Makoto made a break for the unoccupied bathroom downstairs, scolding and shaming himself all the while. And as he does his best friend sits up in his room, still situated on his bed and cleaning himself off with some tissues from a nearby box of tissues, and inwardly smirks to himself.

All according to plan.

THE END.

Sorry for how awkward and poorly written this is! I came onto fanfiction to read and review some fics, but ended up thinking about this post and breaking to write something for it and yeah... Hope it's not too bad.