CHAPTER 3: Us

Though, Remus did not wish to have that same discussion, not again. He needed her to be happy, he needed her to be the woman he fell in love with for her own sake as well as for Teddy's and there was but one way he knew he could do that. He did not wish to walk away from her or from that boy, but he knew he had hurt them more than they ever deserved and if she was able to put it all aside maybe they could ... He did not have during the entire night the slightest indication that she wanted him back in their lives, not that way, but more than ever he wanted to be, he had seen how much work it was to take care of that boy and he had only stayed in her house for a few hours, the entire routine would repeat itself everyday with no break and Dora, despite being the most energetic person he had ever met, could definitely use someone to help her with him.

"Dora," he called sitting and not daring to look at her, he leant his elbows on his knees, focusing his eyes on his twined fingers, "could you forgive me?"

Tonks lifted her gaze, wide eyes glancing at him until he got the courage to look at her and meet her eyes, which were gazing deeply into his with an expression he could not read.

"You ― You wan ― You want to come back?" Tilting her head to the side slightly, she looked at him, needing to make sure if he had meant what she really thought he had.

Remus kept staring at her. He had meant to simply ask for forgiveness, precisely as he had said; no hidden meanings between the lines. However, as she looked at him with her dark blue eyes, demanding the truth from him, he found himself wanting to give her the opposite answer to the one he would have initially considered. If they were going to wander through those turbulent waters, if it was a matter of wantonness, yes, he wanted to come back. If the truth was on the table, it should be the only thing upon it and so, he found himself gazing at his shoes and nodding; not wanting to properly voice it for some reason, perhaps afraid he would lose the courage to do so.

She could see what he truly wanted inside those amber orbs, all the regret from leaving them ... There he was, asking to come back after such a long time, what she so powerfully had wished for, was now happening. Yet, she found herself unsure if she would take him back. Not that she did not wish to have him with her no, never that, but something else. What would stop him from walking out that door with absolutely no intentions of coming back once again? He had done it twice already and she knew it was not his love from her, but his own fears, something she could help him through, but it had to be mostly a battle he had to fight on his own. And she could not let her little boy come out wounded of that battle.

"You're the kind of bloke I'd never need to worry about looking twice at another woman, which" she half-smiled pleasantly, "is more than I have ever asked for, but it also ― it also breaks me," she stated with a trembling chin, "because you don't know how won ― wonderful you are and how much you are w ― worth it." She gazed at him and a single tear had made its way down her cheek before she breathed deeply. "What stands between us and happiness, Remus, is not your lycanthropy or the way society would look down at us, it's your unreasonable fear of losing us and that's how you'll end up losing us once and for all, that's what's caused this."

He was kind, brave, chivalrous and he could even be funny every now and again. He was a wonderful man. She knew that. The only problem was, he did not. And she could not foretell when he would decide that he had been the worst choice she had ever done again. He could break her heart a million times with comments and leavings whenever he pleased, but he would not break Teddy's. She would not allow it, not when she knew that if it ever happened, it could have been avoided by her. She wished she could fight that battle of self-pity for him, it would be much simpler, go and prove him wrong, the end. But he was the only one who could do it. He was the only one that could know what would happen with them from that point onwards. It all came down to one question.

"Would you ever leave ... again?" she asked, her voice low and quiet, so uncharacteristic of her.

It had been a bad ― terrible idea. Hearing her words made him feel as though he was being truncated by a sharp knife. Albeit he was expecting for her to feel somewhat sad and injured even, it still hurt. If having him with her and consequently, risking her life was the way to make her happy, than he would take the thought of possibly hurting her as a punishment willingly.

"Dora, I know I don't deserve, but this," he looked around, encompassing with his eyes, the toys, their leftovers and the stairs, indicating the sleeping boy in his room, "is a kind of life that I am fully aware that will be not easy, but I have never found myself wanting to be part of something more than I want to be in your life right now. I will stay with you," he guaranteed her.

She wanted to believe him, she wanted so bad to know that what he had just said would last for the rest of their lives. But he said it before and left her anyway. Could she trust him once again? Or would she be a fool to let him do this again to her and to Teddy after everything he had done.

"That's the whole point of it, Remus!" she stormed. "You deserve it, you do!"

Shaken, Remus looked at her. How many times could one get it all backwards and do everything wrong?

Tonks put her hand behind her neck, trying to set her necklace loose, but clumsy like she was, even worse for her hands kept shaking, she could not and losing her patience, she grabbed it firmly and strongly pulled it until it snapped, revealing that what he had previously thought to be a pendant in a necklace was in fact, a wedding band, one Remus recognised immediately. Remus's wedding band.

"You vowed to stay by my side, Remus, remember?" Tears were rapidly forming in her eyes as she swung it in front of him. "Whatever happened we would be together, but the first thing that was out of our plans, you walked away from me. I need to know that this meant to you as much as it meant for me and that you won't do like the Ministry, calling it invalid for several stupid reasons."

"I'm so sorry, Dora, I'm sorry. I never meant you any harm," he spit the words as fast as he could, struggling for something that would make her feel any better. "I know it's no excuse, but having him hating me for what I am, passing on my curse ― I was afraid, so afraid. I was terrified."

"And was I not?" She had to stop herself from yelling, the tears that were threatening to fall before were now running free down her cheeks. "Having another human being depending on me to survive was terrifying! Let alone during a war! But I had you and you'd help me so I was happy. But then I didn't anymore and it was even worse! I needed you so badly but you were not there!"

Remus closed his eyes swallowing hard before standing up. He should not have even started it to begin with. It was all wrong.

"I ― You're right. I don't know what I was thinking ― I shouldn't ―" He walked over to the mantelpiece, placing both his hands on the wood, searching for the Floo powder and pondering for a moment where he should go, perhaps the Hogwarts school still had some people around and he could escape somewhere to think of what the hell he had done with both their lives. "I'm sorry for importuning your day, I'll ― Where's the powder?"

"This is Mad-Eye's house." She looked at him, ignoring what he had said.

Remus's eyes were drawn back to her, she was looking at the floor beneath her feet and he dared not to move until she voiced another word.

"His will was released a couple of days after you ... left. Got everything, seems like he really had no one else. It's what saved me through all this time." Her gaze met his and he seemed to finally allow himself to walk towards her, sitting once again. All the memories from the previous year began to hush through her, everything she had put Teddy through, not because she wanted to, but because she did not have a choice; still desperately wishing things were different somehow. She looked away from him.

Remus awaited her to continue if that was what she felt like doing, he would not push her when she was clearly lost in painful remembrances, he had absolutely no right to.

"Stayed at Mum's 'til July. Completely useless and just watching time pass by. Dad's birthday, Christmas, Mum's birthday ... We were basically counting time from special date to special date, not that any of them was exactly cheerful anyway, we were all stuck in there. And then, Dad left." She breathed deeply, looking at the floor, but not exactly seeing it. "Went out to do the noble thing, to rid us from the burden of a Muggleborn, saying that Mum's pure blood would save us! Mum's pure blood, Remus! The thing we despised the most! The thing I had been fighting against all along!" She began to shout looking deeply into his eyes, as if hoping he would see the similarities between what her father had done and what he did.

And how could he not? He could not find a single word to say to her, he deserved to listen to every hateful word from her. He watched as she buried her face in her hands, gathering some of her decorum to not wake Teddy before continuing.

"He died a bit later. We were both ... devastated. You know how I was always closer to him than Mum, Dad's little girl," she managed a smile as she remembered him saying it countless times. "We grew apart; I couldn't bear to put any of my suffering on her because of how I was without you and she ― The way she was ... I don't know, I guess she felt the same. We just hid ourselves in our rooms all day. She started cooking and knitting like crazy the way she always did when she was nervous, since I was a kid. We talked during meals, though, she'd ask about the baby, I'd tell her the news and she helped me through it. But him, Remus, that miracle we created, was what got me through it all. I don't know what I'd've done without him."

We ... she had said we and not simply you and I ... But it was not what he was thinking, it could not be. Despite it all, he knew what would have happened without that little boy, most likely he would not have left her and perhaps they could be living their happy, simple life together, but no, he had to be so careless! It was as though it was a punishment for him to think that he ever deserved to be happy.

"And I was terrified of having a girl. The way Mum and I were ... The whole mother-daughter dynamic scared the life out of me. I didn't know if I could be a good mother to a girl, I was just terrified. See, I didn't want to pass on any of my insecurities to her and ... I never told anyone, though," she informed him, glad to finally be able to put it out of her chest without any fear. "Molly became obsessed on trying to found out the gender, thousands and thousands of methods, some said I was having a boy, some said I was having a girl. In the end, we couldn't be sure so, we knitted him a bunch of yellow, green, white and black stuff. Good thing 'cause we couldn't go out to buy lots of clothes, so yeah. Of course I sucked, but Mum and Molly were wonderful, even Ginny knitted him a pair of booties; he has lots of them to this day," she managed a chuckle, but it did not last.

"I couldn't do much to help the Order and they ended up pushing me away. Can't blame them, though. At the end of the day, I was always exhausted, just exhausted. I couldn't have done much." She breathed deeply, a shadow of a smile crossing her lips. "The day I heard you on the radio, I ... I was just so happy to know that you were alive and I started crying because I was a mess." She smiled, but more tears came down her eyes. "But I was happy, happier than I had been in so long; knowing that you were okay was enough ..."

Tonks wiped away her tears, trying to compose herself for a moment as he handed her a shabby handkerchief, which she had no choice but to take it. Drat him and his courtesy. Her eyes on him for an instant, she was astonished at how easy it was to simply kiss him at that very moment, kiss him like she had been wanting for so long, and end all her pain faster than a Firebolt.

"Then, he was born. It was so hard, Remus, so hard to do it, especially without you. When I first saw him, though, I ― I was thrilled to finally meet him and I started crying because he was so much like you, I wanted you to meet him and feel what I was feeling, but ―" She breathed deeply, looking up. "Mum started crying too when I told her his name, bet not even she knew if she was happy for Dad or sad because of you."

Her family ... Another unpleasant reminder that they would be wagging a battle against the whole world to be together, her own mother did not like him, her father was even worse. And he could not blame them, they had every right to feel their daughter deserved better. But if that would make her happy, he was certain he could go through with it.

"Nobody had the guts to let me know about the battle because it was only eleven days after Teddy's birth. Probably a good thing, though; not sure if I'd have stayed. And had I died ... Merlin, I don't even wanna think about it, Teddy would have no one but my broken mother to take care of him and ― Merlin, no!"

Her fingers went through her hair as she looked to her feet and Remus reached for her, but retracted his hand at a second thought.

"We finally had peace, Mum helped me through the first months, but she was just too depressed without Dad and I wasn't the most cheerful person, so I decided to leave. I wanted ― I want Teddy to grow up in a happy home and well, by leaving I'd be sure it depended only on me." She breathed deeply, she knew she could have been happier for Teddy's sake, but sometimes it was just too much, she did the best she could however, it still did not seem enough to her.

"Got my job back, but stayed on maternity leave for a while. I don't even know why I did it, guess I wasn't really thinking. I couldn't be a single mother and an Auror. I had Teddy and I was alone. I needed to be home for him, so I quit."

It got Remus by surprise, having a job she loved and that paid her more than she was able to spend was one of the few things he knew would help her during that new stage of her life, but he was forced to admit that he had not thought about it before he left. If she did not wish for someone else to raise her son instead of her, she would need to resign. Perhaps he really did not deserve to be taken back by her, he did not even think of what would happen if he left them, what kind of life was she taking since she could not do what she loved the most?

"Felt as though I was back at Hogwarts, trying to find something that I liked and that fit my life. I started to look for something that could be done at home, but nothing seemed good. So, I tried things that I could take him with me instead. I found out that the Prophet was hiring someone to write a sports column, so I got it. Mainly, I watch the Quidditch matches and write about it, but I'm not really good, I can't, you know, write something like you say, that make everyone see what was really happening and don't want to stop reading ever! If I was better, I'd make more, I don't make enough to pay what I spend, not with Teddy growing this fast and I need to buy him new clothes all the time and ― Ginny helps me; I'm getting better, I suppose, but I'm nothing like you ..."

For a split second, Remus was sure that he would prove her wrong by saying that he was not that good, but he realised that it would not help her situation in the slightest. He knew, however, that she not being like him was the reason he loved her so much, she could take the greyest of skies and turn it blue. One could say she was the complete opposite of him, but that was what fascinated him the most.

"Mad-Eye's will saved me, think it'll last for another year. Guess buying baby stuff was not what he had in mind when he left the note saying only 'Use it well, Nymphadora!'" Tonks chuckled, eyes still lost somewhere around the room. "I don't know what happens next, though. I could get my job back I suppose and leave him with Mum, but I don't want to do that ..."

Remus wondered if she was even aware of him in the room, she seemed to be talking as though he was not there, as if she was just analysing the possibilities of her future with her own self. Or even forgotten about him asking her to be back together, she did not seem to be including him in any of the alternatives. However, when her eyes lifted to meet his and an ember lit deep down, he thought for a moment that she was indeed considering a life with him in the near future.

"I take him with me to the matches, I wish I didn't have to, but I don't really have a choice. Sometimes, when the match is taking too long, I have to come back and leave him with Mum. Of course she hates it, says I shouldn't do what I do, but come on, other than being an Auror is probably the only thing I could do decently. Besides, he likes to be surrounded by a lot of people, at least during the first couple of hours, gets a bit cranky after that. I'm telling you, he'll either love or hate Quidditch when he gets older, he won't be one of those guys who say they don't care ― No. One or the other." Tonks allowed herself a chuckle before continuing.

"Some days I manage to catch more than one match and I know he's tired already, usually, I am too, but more matches mean more money and I do it for him. I just hope that if he doesn't like it later, he'll at least understand ... what I had to do ..." Dora let her gaze fell down to the floor once again, her head supported by her hands which were running quickly through her hair, not caring how messy it would be afterwards.

"He even manages to sleep in my arms when it's too long, around the fourth or fifth hour, something like that. The guys love him, we stay in the press cabin, which is good 'cause it's a bit more private, but loud anyway. Everybody knows him there, when it's a final or a match that I know will last forever, I don't take him and I prepare myself to explain a thousand times why he didn't come ... Three or two times a week it's the same thing, over and over. Yesterday was hell because of today, you know, they gathered the matches all in one day and I managed to get three of them, stayed up till half past three writing all the articles. Bet they were crap, but that was the best I could do, specially having to spend all day out today ..."

Remus could see that tears were slowly forming in her eyes once more when she met his gaze. He could see how exhausted she was, not only physically, but also mentally. He wanted to help her, he did not wish for her to carry this burden on her own. However, as she reminded him, how could she trust him again? She was right in not taking him back right away, what kind of mother would she be? He wanted to regain her trust, but how?

"Where have you been?" her tone was almost accusatory.

"Me? I ―"

"Yes, you. Because I haven't heard so much as a word on you since ..."

Remus cleared his throat.

"I went hiding after I left. Tried to locate Harry, but I failed, so I went on hiding. Had Death Eaters tailing me, so I couldn't stay in the same place for too long, but I continued to do some jobs for the Order. After the great battle however, I went abroad. Mostly in Ireland, they're a good people. Got some Muggle jobs, but I always resigned after three weeks. Even though their legislation towards werewolves isn't as harsh as ours, I preferred to keep my distance. Kingsley found me a week ago, said I had to go. It was a celebration and he would not take no as an answer." He rolled his eyes. "I wasn't going to come, but after the full moon, I'm not sure what happened, but I felt like I should come. So I did."

"How are you holding up?" questioned Dora and Remus could see how much she still cared about him, how much she wished he would still be all right in the next morning, he cursed himself for still causing on her that much deal of pain.

"Don't worry about me, Dora," he pleaded. "I'm used to this, I've dealt with it all my life. It's yourself, you should worry about; yourself and Teddy."

"Then tell me, Remus! Tell me, how do I stop worrying about you? Tell me, how can I not think about you every day of my life?" Tonks let her head fall in her hands, her shoulders shaking violently as she cried.

To see her so broken, hurt Remus more than he thought it would. He reached for her hand, but stopped himself again when her head surfaced.

"You must know I never stopped loving you. You must know that I wish, to this day I wish you haven't left! You must know that I can't sleep on full moons nights; that I just can't stop loving you ..." She swallowed hard, closing her eyes for a moment. "You know how long it took for him to ask someone beside me to play with him? Do you know how long it took for him to ask someone else for food, Remus?" She did not even bother answering her own rhetorical questions. "He trusts you already ... How many times had I told you that I don't care? Does he care, Remus?"

He was about to tell her that Teddy did not know what he was, but he knew she would retort saying it was because it did not matter. How could he be the great man she had said he was so many times if he was able to this to her?

"What would you do if we're together and the world comes down, Kingsley's killed and they start hunting and killing werewolves and their supporters and families alike, so it's clear that leaving us is our best shot of survival?"

Remus looked at her terrified. His mouth went dry as his eyes widened. She could not possibly expect for him to put them through ―

"You see! I'm NOT better off without you, Remus! WE are not better off without you! No matter what! Would you die for me, Remus?" she enquired all of a sudden.

"In the blink of an eye."

"Then, please, understand that I would die for you exactly the same way!"

It was as though something made sense in his mind. How could she believe that he loved her when he had hurt her so badly? If there was a way ... a way that he would either keep his word of never ever leaving her side again or ... He would rather leave this life than ever leave her side once more. Remus could almost hear his brain click when the idea came to him.

"Take out your wand," he demanded, standing up and drawing out his own wand.

"Wha ― Why?"

Remus looked deeply into her eyes, putting upon his as much honesty as he was able to.

"I know I have vowed to stay with you before, but I did not stick by my word. I'll vow again and this time however, I'll make it unbreakable. I'd rather die than leave you again," he realised. He carefully took her hand and grasped her fist firmly, pointing his wand to their hands and waiting for her to do the same.

Dora stared for a couple of seconds at their united hands, breaking his grip and getting up the following instant.

"I don't want you trapped with me by a spell, Remus." She walked a few steps, turning her back to him and crossing her arms over her chest. An Unbreakable Vow was not the answer, she did not want him by her side because if he left, he would die. No, she wanted him with her because he wanted. She did not want him to leave, yes, but taking that option away from him was not how things were meant to be. "You should stay with me because you want, you shouldn't want to leave because you know we'll face whatever it comes together. You should have the option to leave, but I should know that you won't because you love me. It's called trust, Remus ..." She breathed deeply, more tears falling before she continued, "and I don't know if I can trust you again. S'not that I don't want because it's taking everything in me not to kiss you right now, but I just can't see Teddy hurt," she added almost apologetically.

Remus let himself fall on the chair. He knew he should leave, she had said what she wanted and clearly he was not a part of either her future or Teddy's. He had no place in there because she could not trust him anymore. Well, he should have known what he was getting himself into when he left her. Tears came to his eyes as the realisation that it was over weighed upon him, not because he did not want to hurt her, but because she could not trust him and from it, he knew there was no return.

"Fuck, Remus."

Dora ran her hand on her forehead. It had been almost a year since she had last used that word, but she felt the moment deserved. Why did he have to leave? Why did he have to leave?

He was willing to make an Unbreakable Vow ... but she wanted him to leave if he felt he did not belong with them, she wanted him to leave if he preferred to be elsewhere, she wanted him to leave if he ever did not love her anymore. Just like any other couple, Remus could easily fall in love with someone way more suitable to him however, by wanting to make an Unbreakable Vow, he had given to her every proof she would ever need that he did not have the slightest intention of walking out of her door forever. If an honourable man like Remus did not deserve one more chance, who would?

With two long strides she had knelt between his legs, her lips so eagerly tracing the path they knew so well, clumsily pressing over his as her hands went from his thighs to his back, bringing his torso as close to hers as their position allowed. It did not matter that it took him a while to understand what was happening before he returned the kiss, it did not matter that their tears were mixing upon their cheeks before she broke apart and buried her face in his chest. They were Remus and Dora once again, they were together. Not word could describe how he felt when he realised he was the reason that her hair had become her ― their favourite shade of bubble-gum pink.

"I just love you so much!" she cried.

"Merlin, I ― I love you too, Dora."

"You gotta talk to me, though," she pointed out. He may need to fight that battle by himself, but it did not mean that she could not hold his hand and just be there for him all the while. "We work it out together, that's what being married is all about, you don't get to take decisions on your own. Come talk to me about everything! If you're afraid you want to leave, you tell me. If you don't feel like cooking or you want to make the best of dinners, you tell me. You want to have sex or you don't want to have sex, you tell me. You want to visit James and Lily, you tell me. Hell, you want to get a pet, you tell me!" She waited a couple of heartbeats to add, "All right?"

"All right," he assured her and she smiled, finally seeming somewhat free of her burden. "I never meant ―"

"Shhh!" Her hand found his lips and pressed them, quite hurting and forcefully, but not exactly uncomfortable to stop him from saying another word. "Dora says she knows and doesn't wanna hear it because you'll ruin it."

Remus closed his eyes fiercely, another tear following the path on his cheek. He nodded the instant before standing up, allowing both of them to feel each other completely. Her hands wrapped around his neck as his embraced her back, enjoying the blissful happiness of being in each other's arms once again. Slowly, she let go of him and her hands found his left one, pulling it to her grip. Dora took the ring in her hand and put his wedding band in his fourth finger. He intertwined their left hands, watching for a moment where their rings touch, the silence vow to stay forever together. Several minutes passed or could have very well been several days, it did not make any difference for they had surely lost track of time.

"There may be something else Dora wants, though." Her voice choking after the previous crying.

"Anything."

"Kiss her," she moved to look at him and found his eyes already waiting for hers, "like you haven't done in ages."

His gaze fell down to her lips, hands moving to cup both of her cheeks as he slowly bent down, four eyes closing with desire. Lips pressing against each other tenderly yet firmly until his parted and his tongue carefully caressed her lips. She allowed him access to her mouth, her hands going up his back and tangling in his hair. His right hand moved gently along her jaw line to cup the back of her neck as his tongue and lips slowly took in her universe, sparking off one delightful sensation after another. The feeling of being cupped into someone's hand and his tongue exploring her mouth after so long made her wish it to never stop; the world could come to an end that she would peacefully stay in his arms. His left hand lowered and found the spot where her shirt did not meet her jeans, leaving a tingling heat where their skin touched. Remus did not wish to push it any longer than she was willing to take, he would happily sleep on the couch for a month if she wished so. He broke apart, his lips pressing against hers one last time before he pulled himself out of her reach. Her lips however, did not seem able to keep away from him and began tracing a path on his neck; his stubble against her lips allowing her a cherished sensation she had missed so much. Tonks morphed herself to be a couple of inches taller than she was before, kissing him deeply again.

"Dora?" he called when they broke apart.

She took her time, going all the way down his throat before she replied.

"Yeah?"

"We don't have to ..."

"I know," she answered, simply. "I want to," her voice low with desire.

"Are you sure?" He looked to the ceiling, unsure if he did want to hear her answer; he was completely aware of his body having considerably more scars than the last time she saw him, in addition to bandages covering the newest ones and the loss of weight for not always making enough for a decent meal a day. However, he felt her hand pulling his chin down.

"Yes."

The amount of determination inside her now violet eyes make every doubt he had vanish and he could see how much she loved him, the way he was, not less, not more, just him. He bent down, but before their lips had the chance to touch, he went farther, catching her legs with his arms and lifting her up, bridal style.

"Then we're doing it properly."

Tonks smiled fondly at him. This was the man she loved, so respectful of her, wishing to make her happy, no matter what, even if the cost was his misery, which she had just reminded him, was not always the best thing, she would not be happy without him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, breathing in his wonderful male scent.

As they approached the end of the corridor, she pointed to an open door with a tilt of her head.

"That's my room."

Remus walked in and saw her messy bed; Tonks instantly waved her wand to light a single candle upon her bedside table. Oh, how much he loved her, every little thing she did had an effect upon him even if it had been unintentional. He smiled; no, you did not have to make your bed after you had only a few hours of sleep, especially if you have a horrible day ahead of you. Of course for her, beds were not to be made at all, but that was something else.

He laid her carefully and sat down to take off his shoes, the minute they were gone, before he could even move to get to his socks, she was on his lap, holding his face and kissing him so hungrily he had to put his hands behind himself on the mattress for support as she began to take off his robes and he shrugged them off to help her clumsy hands. After regaining his balance, he moved his hand to the buttons of her shirt; he would have happily taken his time to unbutton each one of them, but if there was one thing his Dora was not, was patient and she ripped the remaining ones apart. Remus grinned, which was surely the sexiest grin Tonks had ever seen and their lips met again. His hands moving up her back to unhook her bra, putting it aside with the rest of their clothes. Remus's lips left hers to trace her jaw line, his hands coming from her back to gently begin to caress her breasts ... So, so good. Were they really the same ones that had been nourishing her son earlier?

"Remus," breathed Dora.

He heard her. He surely had; however, he must have thought she had said his name as one says their lover's name during love-making, as a background music for he continued his ministrations as though nothing had happened.

"Remus?" she called again, just above a needy whisper, her hands moving to grip his cuffs ever so slightly and alert him to the fact that she needed his attention in a different way.

His lips left her skin, hands pausing where they were as he unhurriedly moved back to meet what he could see of her gaze in the dark room.

"Dora?"

"We shou ―" she started to pull his hands away and he let her, confusion crossing his features instantly. Hadn't she said she was sure about wanting it? "They belong to someone else now, mkay?" her voice had the pleading layer for him not to feel guilty about it, but it was inevitable for Remus.

How could he not think that she was a different woman now? That they had a little boy that needed those to survive? That her breasts were neither hers nor his anymore? What if things got too intense one day and he ended up hurting them? Teddy would be the one to lose in the end. How could he not think of him? His son, the one who was sleeping not far from where they were.

"Of course," he sounded more confident than he truly felt. Remus drew his wand from his pocket and flicked it to close the open door. "Silencio!" he grinned at her, as if trying to prove that he knew how to be a proper father.

However, she got his wand from his hand, fondly smiling at the object as though she did not have the courage to meet his eyes and hurt him more.

"A Silencing Charm, Remus," she waved his wand, undoing the spell he had just done, "blocks all sounds from leaving the room ― which is great!" she added quickly, wishing he would not be hurt by what she was about to say. "But it also blocks all sounds from coming in ... So we wouldn't be able to hear if something happened to him."

Tonks kissed his lips, trying to show him that he should not feel bad for it at all, but he could not, could he? Twice he had not thought about that boy and only of himself. By no means could he be called a parent. His eyes fall shut as she kissed down his neck and into the hollow at the base of his throat.

"I'm sorry," he remained utterly immobile.

"Don't be." He could feel her smile against his skin. "You'll just have to bite your tongue, mister." She pulled away to grin at him, her features showing that she did not blame him in the slightest for any of his deeds.

Remus had to swallow against the painful lump that rose up in his throat. Dora was giving herself to him, hiding not a single tad from him, displaying every single bit of the Dora-way to help him, ― sure with a grin and a joke, but he would take no different ― the one he had come to love so much, the one he had come to need so much, to the point he knew no more who he was without her. She was different now; yes, of course, how could she not be? But she loved him absolutely no less, she simply had different priorities and she would do whatever it took to guide him along the way she had walked on her own, along the way he had forced her to walk on her own, along the way of parenthood. Despite him hurting her and hiding from her ― his wife, the one he was supposed to keep no secrets from ― what he was feeling to the point they haunted him day and night and he had to leave her; even with it all she was giving herself unreservedly and wholly. Not afraid to love again whatsoever, she was teaching him how to love and there could be no love without trust and she trusted him, regardless of what he had done. She had trusted him with her heart, the same heart he had long lost count of how many times he had broken with the mere wish of never seeing it break. More importantly, she had trusted him with her son, their son, the one who was so much more important to her than her own self. She was taking all his flaws and imperfections, all his blemish and errors, his curse and kindness; she was loving him entirely. And he knew then, at that precise moment, that he could never ― he would never ever hurt her again. He would give himself to her as freely as she was giving herself to him; trust her with every single minor insecurity and allow her to sever all his dams.

Remus laid her upon the mattress, the back of his fingers touching her cheek ever so slightly and her body automatically leant into his touch, his amber orbs holding an amount of love so immense that she felt surprisingly shy, even more ashamed due to how fast her flushed cheeks gave her away. Their lips touched once again and slowly her bashfulness was drawn away as she began to feel lightheaded with desire. How could either of them have lived so much time without such a passionate lover would forever be a mystery to them. Every minor touch would lead to a desperate need of more, every tease, every stroke, every friction, every kiss, every lick, every bite, every whispered name and every moan. Although both Remus and Dora had deified each other during all those months away, they were pleasantly surprised to find out that they met each and every single one of their expectations. How had he managed to become so caught up in his fears and be able to not run after her, especially when he knew how to find her and she did not, he would never know. But she wanted to be with him, in her eyes, he could see how there was absolutely nothing she would rather do than be in bed with him then.

He kissed her forehead tenderly as they lay in each other's arms in a blissful post-coital embrace. Breathing and heartbeats evening whilst feather like touches were upon their bodies. Not a word was said by any of them, looks had spoken far more efficiently during that night, not a word needed to be said by any of them.

A low beep called her attention and her gaze flew to the clock on her bedside table, which showed her to be midnight. She kissed one of the pink and sensitive new scars upon his chest before motioning to get up.

"Be back in a bit," she whispered, her hand lingering in his until she forced herself to take the step back that would take her out of his reach. She searched for her knickers, lost somewhere in the floor before getting her nightgown and walking through the door.

Tonks entered Teddy's bedroom to see him already somewhat awake in his cot.

"Wotcher," she murmured, caressing his cheek and noticing how hot he was. "Hungry?" she asked already knowing the answer. She chose then to take off his pyjamas, letting him with just his nappy on.

Her glance fall upon the armchair she usually sat upon when she had to breastfeed him during the night, but it just did not seem right to her so she took him in her arms and went back to the master suite.

Remus smiled, sitting upright at once when he saw she had gone and fetched Teddy. Dora sat her son on the bed and the boy looked behind himself to see his father as she let her nightgown fall on the floor, together with many other garments.

"Hi," muttered Remus to the boy.

Dora lay on her side, bringing Teddy up so he could be fed by her. Hearing Remus sharp in a breath, she lifted up her eyes to meet his as he slowly lay back on the bed.

"What?" she questioned, curiously.

He meant to shake his head and to tell her it was nothing worthy of notice when he was quickly reminded by his subconscious he had promised himself to let her in and discover everything that was there to be discovered about him.

"You breastfeeding him is high likely to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he admitted.

Her cheeks flushed in a split second, but she did not bother to cover. Instead, smiling fondly, she looked down to that boy and tried to organise his hair into some sort of pattern.

Remus knew he could make her blush even more by describing exactly what he was seeing, but he figured she had the general picture of what he was feeling and decided against it. Instead he passed his arm across the pillows and stroked the damp hair on her temples. Tonks let him for a while, but a minute later, she took his hand and placed it together with hers half-way to his pillow, intertwining their fingers. Seeing her baby begin to frown, she moved her free hand to massage his jaw and his brows relaxed. Her son ... who was the only reason they were so happily enjoying that moment.

"Guess we can't say that Teddy grabbing your leg was a coincidence, right?"

"No ..." he chuckled with her. "I guess not."

"So much for just a cuppa, huh?" she said and he chuckled again. There was never anything between them that did not mean anything.

Silence fell upon them, but unlikely the entire length of that day, it was not an uncomfortable one; they had had a previous experience that had proved how they were feeling. When Teddy let go off of her breast, he buried his face in her chest, nuzzling against his mother, listening to her heartbeat had always been his favourite place to sleep. She secured him with her and gazed at Remus as if letting him know that Teddy would sleep with them.

With a full stomach, Teddy was asleep the next instant and looking at her husband and back to her son, she felt utterly at peace in a long time. She collected the sheet that littered the floor and covered the two loves of her life, throwing it across the bed ... The whole bed, she gleefully realised, no longer felt too big for herself alone due to the simple fact she was not alone anymore, the double mattress was now the perfect size for their small family. All her lonely nights were past behind her, she would no longer feel so small when she lied upon the furniture, no longer hug her legs and wish morning would soon come to put an end to her suffering, to the suffocating feeling of being lonely. She had Remus now and together they would be able to raise wonderfully that baby boy between them. She needed nothing else.

Albeit he did not have the enchanting sensation of her body against his, how could he even have the audacity to ask for it when he had this outstanding painting before him? His wife and his son, in an embrace that was the sheer picture of love and he was a part of it, that scene would not exist without him. He was, not only in the boy, but also in the woman's smile as well as in her hair, which had become that marvellous cherry. With a short flick of his wand, he extinguished the candle, causing the only light to fill the room to be the pearl sheen of a waning moon, colouring his wife's sweaty body in pale and smoothing silver. Had he not been so tired due to the recent full moon and their previous love-making, Remus supposed he would not have been able to fall asleep afraid of rolling over and suffocating his son, but he knew Teddy was safe in his mother's embrace and he could not remember ever having a more peaceful sleep.

That was, until he woke up anguished later that night. Soon, he perceived that his anguish came from that small, tiny body against his, one that seemed to be more distressed than he was for Teddy was letting out clearly unhappy low moans, shaking his arms and legs. He looked down at the boy, wishing he knew what in Merlin's name he could need or want at that hour, wishing he could help him and for the first time be a half decent father for his son, but he had not a clue where to start, hence he touched her cheek, running his thumb gently yet firmly above her jaw.

"Dora," he called lowly and hoarsely.

She jolted awake, her eyes opening at once and not even registering the hand that was quickly being removed from her face. By the time she reached him, Teddy had already began to cry, she ran a hand upon his belly and another caressing his cheeks, searching for tears to wipe, but finding none.

"Shh," she calmed him. "Be right back, yeah?" She threw the sheet aside and was sliding her legs out of the bed when she felt a grip on her wrist, stopping her. Her gaze slowly followed the hand until her husband's face.

"What is it?" questioned Remus. "Tell me where it is and I'll fetch it for you."

Tonks was taken aback for a moment, by the moonlight, she was able to see written inside his eyes the strong will, how much of a great father he would be and she wondered how she was able to doubt his disposal of being the parent he had yet to be. Her heart skipped a bit and she smiled fondly at him, lying back in bed.

"I need to give him a formula now," her hand travel through his hair once, pushing some of them aside, but quickly took her hand off just to watch them falling back to where they previously were. "I have some bottles ready down in the kitchen."

Remus nodded once, the image of a few baby bottles coming to his mind as they cooked earlier that evening. He sat on the bed, getting his underwear from the floor as Dora put Teddy upright as if showing him that he would not need to wait for much longer. The moment her husband was up and walking towards the door, Teddy's head moved to his father and he began crawling to the end of the bed. Tonks quickly raised her leg to stop him. Her son looked from her and back to the sheet barrier before him, getting an amused smile from her.

"Remus!"

With two quick strides and wondering what possibly could have happened during the couple of seconds he was away for her to call him so loudly.

"Yes?" he asked leaning on the doorway.

"Someone wants to go with you," she let him know, lowering her leg and revealing a curious, blonde Teddy.

"Oh." He looked down at the boy. Did she really want him to take him? Could he be trusted with so much already? What if something went wrong? What if he dropped him? What if ― Teddy lifted his arms, obviously asking for his father to take him in his arms. It's just a baby, he reminded himself. As slowly as he could muster, without showing that he was postponing it as much as he could to give her a chance to back down if she wanted to, but unfortunately, ― or fortunately, as he would come to perceive later on ― she did not change her mind and Remus got his son.

Dora smiled at him and he felt somewhat more confident. She trusted him and honestly, how hard could it be to take a baby downstairs and back? He could be trusted with this.

"Don't give it to him down there," she informed him in a sleepy voice. "Wait 'til you're back 'ere."

"All right." He nodded putting a hand on Teddy's back to secure him in position.

Remus carefully walked his way to the kitchen, wishing he had not forgotten his wand back at the room, but with the moon this close to its full, it illuminated the house well enough for him to see where he could go without jeopardising his son. He reached the room and put Teddy down to the floor so he could look for the bottle; he stood up watching his father trying to remember where exactly he had seen the baby bottles. He crouched down, his gaze travelled across the collection of drawers and cabinets, but not recalling precisely where he had seen the bottles. He was about to start opening random ones when he was intrigued by the scene before him, Teddy had crouched just like he had, his little hands placed upon his knees just like his were the previous instant.

Tears came pouring instantly upon his eyes. Sure he had seen that boy as a perfect copy of his younger self before, but that was the result of an unconscious use of Metamorphmagus abilities. This ... This was a whole other thing, Teddy was looking at him seeking for guidance, his father was his inspiration and he trusted him to lead through the right path. Even though he deserved the worst parents' award, Teddy trusted him. Remus watched as the boy's eyes glanced at him as if asking what he was thinking and he placed his hands on the sides of his torso, lifting the toddler to his feet and he kissed him. Not because Dora was making him do it to teach him the parts of his body, not as a way to make his son laugh, but out of pure affection due to the simple fact that he wanted to because he loved that boy. Wait, love? Yes, love. That realisation both weighed upon his shoulders and brought an inexplicable fondness to his heart, as if everything made sense.

"I love you," he confessed lowly as if preventing anyone else in the room from listening despite them being alone and Teddy not even knowing the true meaning of those words and would not remember it the way Remus would. The words were hard to be said, but he managed to let them out clearly against the tightness in his throat. He brought him close, embracing him as tight as he could without hurting, therefore, not as pressed against him as he wanted to, but enough to show his feelings.

He let his son go, the boy's face now crossed with something that resembled annoyance for not having his food with him by now. So, he wiped his tears away and started to search for the white bottles, opening drawers and cabinets, but with no luck, cursing himself for not recalling where he had seen them whilst he cooked. Until he noticed Teddy standing by the last cabinet door and doubt crossing his features for not knowing what his father was doing. Remus walked over and opened said door, revealing what he had been seeking for all along. He grabbed one quickly and Teddy instantly raised his hands towards it.

"Da!" He opened and closed his fists.

"Sorry, Teddy." He got the boy in his arms and began his way back to the bedroom. "Mummy said to not give it for you here."

"Da." He repeated swirling his head left and right searching for the bottle that was behind his back.

"I said no, Teddy."

However, Teddy apparently had yet to learn the meaning of that negative word and re-started to moan fidgety for not having the bottle with him.

"Hey, hey, we're almost there," Remus consoled him, lengthening his stride.

Soon, they reached the bedroom and Remus was glad for Teddy not having started to cry along the way. Dora was already sitting and had her wand in hand. He placed the baby on the bed and she handed him her wand.

"Warm it a bit," she told him.

Concentrating to not let out a lot of power in the spell, Remus touched the bottle once.

"Lemme see." Tonks got the bottle from his hand as Ted crawled towards her after his food. She placed a bit upon her fist and tasted it. "Not enough," she said, motioning for him to give her wand back. She touched it once before tasting again. "There," she asked for his hand and tried to put a bit for him to try, but their son kept reaching for the bottle. "Teddy, wait," she commanded with a frown and the boy looked back at her with furrowed brows, eager to have his meal. She successfully managed to drop a bit of the white liquid on his fist and smiled at his hesitation of trying his son's food. "It's just my milk and a special formula, Remus," she grinned. "You're not gonna die."

However, knowing he was about to taste his wife's milk probably had absolutely no comfort for him, but he tasted it and nodded at her, making a mental note of the temperature of the liquid he had just drunk.

"Try the least power you can put in the spell and do it about three times. Should be about it," she instructed him, lying Teddy down and finally handing him the bottle before lying on her back.

Remus nodded, moving to lie too and noticing Teddy had lied so close to his side that he had to press his chest against his son's arm. He noticed his son's frown and smiled apologetically, but that was really the best he could do without moving the boy.

"Give me your hand," asked Dora, opening her own for him to put his upon.

With confused features he did as she asked and she guided his thumb to the end of Teddy's jaw.

"He's teething, you see," she began drawing small and really light circular movements with his thumb. "Molars, not pleasant." She shook her head with a grin and the boy's frown fade away. "See? This helps a bit and ice skips. Specially sucking, not a problem with chewing, but yeah, sucking sucks."

Remus chuckled along with her as she lied back once again; under her watch, he continued with the movement for a while, until she changed to lie on her stomach.

"Help him hold it towards the end," she alerted him, her voice sleepy and childish like he knew she disliked so much, but apparently, she could not bring herself to care about it now for she used said tone once more. "He likes to sleep before he's done and the bottle might hurt him."

"All right." He nodded. She was teaching him every little thing about his son, he would be the father Teddy needed, this would be his life from now on, this would be what every single one of his days would consist of, tomorrow would be all the same, unless ... "Is there a match tomorrow?"

"No matches on Mondays," she informed him with a wide smile. "But I'll have to go to the Ministry; resign and then talk to Robards." She looked at him, hoping he would adore her proposal of getting her dream job back and letting him take care of his son during the day.

"I'll go with you ... and I could take him." How could he oppose himself to her dream? Making her happy was basically his job as a husband now. He watched pleased as she closed her eyes, the wide smile still on her lips.

"Or maybe," she re-started, "I should just resign and wait a week to go to the office. 'Cause you really suck at parenting," laughed Dora and Remus could not help but to laugh with her.

He saw the boy curiously watching him and nuzzling towards his chest; that little boy really trusted him already, he trusted him with his life. He may be the worst father in the world, but for Teddy he would learn to be the best he could be for he was Remus Lupin, the werewolf who turned Nymphadora Tonks's life upside down and made her the happiest woman on Earth.

A/N: So yeah, that's it. I never meant for them to be apart, but you guys begging for them to end up together left me wanting to write something else, so I did, a one-shot called Not a Tonks, Not Anymore. I don't have much to say about it other than I thought I was mean before and Idk, man, my shipper heart has weird requests.

Thank you very much for all your reviews, you guys are amazing, honestly. I certainly wouldn't have written this much if it weren't for you, so I thank you for accompany this story and please, be a dear and leave your thoughts of the end down here, would you?

Júlia, que lindo! Obrigada, mesmo! É certamente uma honra! E não, não sabia que você fazia Letras, qual delas você faz? ^^