Author's Note: This story is a Ritsu Kasanoda/Harry Potter pairing. Don't like it? Too bad I guess.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Ouran High School Host Club. Those rights belong to J.K. Rowling and Hatori Bisco respectively. I'm just borrowing their wonderful works in order to entertain the few individuals, who actually read my attempts at storytelling.

Summary:He didn't see why the Host Club thought they would think Kasanoda needed a makeover. To Harry, the Yakuza heir was just perfect the way he was. After all, it was his "scary" face that he fell in love with.

Warning: This story contains comical violence, homosexual content, offensive language, mentions of abuse, etc. If any of these offend you, then I would kindly advise you to not go beyond this point. If you continue anyway and get upset, then I don't really want to know about it at all. You should've known better and accepted my warning. Before we get started there are several things that I should warn you about before you get started. There will be some things in the Harry Potter canon that will be changed in order for it to fit this universe I am trying to create. If there will be some bashing, I don't believe so, but if it exists then it will be light bashing more than anything else. Hopefully you will be able to live with that.

We R Who We R

Chapter 1: The Apathetic Beauty and the Unfashionable Beast (Part I)

Harry sighed as he was shoved up against the wall by the hand grasping the collar of his white oxford shirt. Staring up into angry brown eyes of the thug, whom was currently trying to shake him down, he couldn't help but sigh again tiredly.

It seemed that his ability to attract bullies hasn't changed, and if anything had grown stronger.

This was the third time since he set foot on Japanese soil that he has ended up in this exact same scenario. Not even a week since he arrived in Japan, and he has already been accosted by thugs, whom all saw him as the perfect target for their criminal shenanigans.

Not that he could blame them of course, just being a foreigner already placed a target on his back. But combined with the rest of the package, anyone with ill-intent on their mind would see him as the perfect victim.

Much to Harry's displeasure, he didn't grow to reach the same height as his father before him (as he hoped) due to the malnourishment and neglect inflicted upon him during his childhood. Instead he now stood at the unimpressive height of 5'3", a wisp of a young man. His tousled soot black hair framed his face becomingly, and accentuated his sharp and exotic features.

While it would've at one time hurt his pride, the Wizard would admit that his features were too sharp to ever be considered beautiful or even ruggedly handsome due to the mixed features he gained from both of his parents. Bottle green eyes stared out of a classically pale face, which was expected from his European heritage. Along with his high cheekbones, pert nose, and full lips, he really couldn't ever be considered manly in any way physically speaking.

Sadly, all in all, his appearance just gave off the impression of a kitten to anyone who met him.

A harmless kitten, therefore a target, which was why he was in the very position he was in at that moment.

"I'm going to ask again gaijin, how about you let us borrow your wallet…judging from the quality of your clothes, surely you can spare us a little cash so we can enjoy ourselves for the night right?"

Others who possessed weaker wills in his position would've agreed and gladly handed over everything they owned without complaint if it got them away from being harmed. At any other time, these thugs would've gotten their way.

Unfortunately for them, they chose the wrong target.

"And once again, I'm going to have to decline your request."

Silence fell within the small walkway at the response.

Behind the taller male holding him up still despite the slack-jawed look on his face, his three lackeys sputtered in indignation as they snapped out of their stunned dazes.

"WHAT!?"

He raised an eyebrow in response to their outbursts; the dark-haired boy slowly tilted his head to the side and seemed to stare down his nose at the four males despite being held at about eyelevel with the four of them.

"I believe that I answered clearly the first two times, but since you seem to be hard of hearing…I guess I could repeat myself once more."

Grunting softly as the grip on his collar tightened almost painfully, the green-eyed male once again locked gazes solely with his main aggressor's. An ugly sneer was on the brown-haired man's face as he leaned forward, their noses brushed against each other's as he growled.

"Oh, so you're some kind of smartass huh?"

Shrugging indifferently, Harry snorted.

"It's better to be a smartass than a dumbass….unfortunately you and your friends over there can't say the same."

The deadpanned look on the petite boy's face along with the insult infuriated the four of them, and the other three closed in the circle around Harry. One of the three younger men pulled out a switchblade and soon held it against Harry's neck.

Despite being in danger of having his throat slit, Harry looked at them no emotion whatsoever, no fear, no anger; his face was a blank slate.

Snarling, the bleach blond holding the knife pressed it against his skin lightly enough not to stab into his neck, but enough to cut and draw a small trail of blood.

"You dare insult us and treat us like we're idiots? Do you want to die boy?"

Leaning his head back against the wall and (thankfully) away from the knife a bit, he frowned.

"Now, now, I don't consider you lot as idiots at all…"

The smug grins that began to develop on their faces collapsed as he continued emotionlessly, "…calling you guys idiots would only be an insult to stupid people."

Bellowing out in anger, the leader slammed him into the wall behind him causing Harry to hiss in at the sudden action as well as the slight pain that shot up his back from being slammed into the bricks.

"I'm tired of this little bastard!"

Turning to look over his shoulder at the faux blond, he motioned over towards British boy with his head.

"Kenta, kill this punk…we'll just have to take the money from his corpse!"

Laughing, Kenta brought the knife up to his mouth and dragged his tongue against the sharp edge of the blade with a perverse look of pleasure clear on his face.

"It would be my pleasure boss, though I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed…I definitely would've liked to have a go at him, he looks like he would've been a tight fit...just my type."

Sighing once again, the wizard decided that enough was enough.

It was already bad enough that he allowed this situation to get this far, and he knew it would be best for him to stop them so things didn't get worse than it already was. With a twitch of his fingers, he prepared to summon the Elder Wand to his hand when another voice shattered the tense atmosphere.

"What the hell are you bastards doing here in Kasanoda territory?"

Blinking slowly at the unexpected interruption, Harry's eyes drifted away from the muggles in front of him to the direction the voice came from.

Immediately, his eyes widened a little at the sight his supposed hero made.

Standing a bit behind their little party, was a young man that was around Harry's age. His flaming red hair was in stylish dreadlocks, which reminded Harry of his old housemate Lee Jordan, and purple shades kept Harry from seeing his eye color. Much to his surprise, the boy was wearing the uniform of the school he had just finished enrolling into not even two hours ago, which consisted of a blue blazer jacket with a black tie that had a purple line going down the middle over a white button-up shirt.

He also wore black slacks and black loafers, which were pretty much the standard part of the required uniform. The green scarf with yellow polka dots around his neck however wasn't part of the uniform, and Harry was sure that his friend Luna would've fainted in horror at the way that it clashed so horribly with the entire ensemble. But the most disturbing thing (to everyone but Harry) had to have been the little boy whose hand was in his own, whom seemed to be regarding the entire situation as if nothing was out of the ordinary. The two apathetic boys only locked eyes for a second before nodding in mutual understanding.

But their little moment was unnoticed as the victim's (Harry's) aggressors seemed to forget him completely, and turn their attention the walking fashion disaster. Kenta, the bleached blond, stuffed his free hand into the pocket of his baggy slacks while tilting his to the side.

"Hah! Who is this loser who thinks he can boss us around?"

Behind him, the other lackeys agreed while the one holding him seemed to still be frozen as he had when he first looked over at the redhead who spoke. Noticing the slight shaking that was steadily growing worse by the second in the hands holding him up, Harry tilted his head to the side in interest.

'Does Idiot number one recognize him or something?'

When his feet suddenly hit the ground, he could only blink as the guy hit the bleach blond in the back of the head with a curse.

"IDIOT! Don't you know who that is!?"

Groaning at the assault, the false blond gritted his teeth while glaring at his so-called leader in anger.

What the hell did it matter who this fashion reject was? It wasn't like he could do anything to them, especially with the backing they have. Glancing over at two and was shocked to also see them completely petrified over this freak. Turning his gaze back to the redhead, he narrowed his eyes just in time to see the interrupter of their fun tilt his head down so his eyes were visible. As soon as he saw the fierce glare and fearsome scowl, dread and quickly dawning horror began to encompass his entire being.

"I-it can't be…K-k-KASANODA!?"

Harry noticed the slight twitch at the side of the dread-head's lips before both corners of his mouth tilted down causing his scowl to deepen. The four surrounding Harry began to tremble as the one they knew as "Kasanoda" stepped away from the elementary school kid and towards them slowly. Stopping just right in front of Kenta, he leaned forward and a sound slipped from his lips.

"HRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNHHH!"

The screeches that escaped the thugs themselves were inhuman. They scrambled to run away down the pathway while begging for their lives. Harry did nothing but watch his rescuer, whom didn't turn back in his direction until he was sure that the group was gone. Green eyes watched intently as "Kasanoda" slipped his hands into the pockets of his black slacks, his left hand causing the chain connected to his belt to chime.

Slowly the guy turned his head halfway to look back at him before grunted.

"Are you alright?"

Blinking slowly, Harry nodded his head and stood to his full height while brushing off the imaginary dirt that was on his sleeves. Once he was sure that he had gotten rid of any possible blemish on his outfit. He turned his full attention to "Kasanoda", only to see that the other was staring at him intently. Tilting his head slightly, the Brit wondered if the boy had something to say, and that was when he remembered that he himself had an obligation to thank him.

Nodding, he bowed slightly (as he had been taught by his many tutors) before standing upright.

"Thank you for your assistance, the three of them were beginning to become a pain to deal with…"

Apparently getting what he was wordlessly asking, the dread head nodded before grunting back, "Kasanoda…Ritsu Kasanoda, and don't worry about it…those bastards should know better than to prowl around our territory anyway."

A small smile formed on Harry's face as he took in the other's becoming blush that was growing darker by the second. It was after a few minutes of silence that the elementary school kid a bit to the left side of them broke the silence.

"Alright, I was told to walk with you back to your house…I have piano practice in a bit so could you speed this up?"

Kasanoda sputtered while Harry only sent the younger boy a small polite smile.

"Now that I'm thinking about it, I too need to go take care of something."

Walking back the redhead, Harry smiled before bowing slightly again and continued to walk down before crossing over into another street. Once he was far enough, he came to a halt and closed his eyes. The memory of the dread heads fearsome scowl and blazing cinnamon brown eyes (much to his surprise), caused Harry's heart to flutter. A slight blush formed on his face at the thought of the embarrassment the other showed at being thanked, and how despite the teen's rough exterior…the wizard could see the pure heart that lay underneath.

Forcing down the blush he accepted what he felt and after a few more moments of silence, he slowly opened his eyes and smirk, "Before that, there is something that I need to take care of….it is good to know that we're going to the same school."

With that he disappeared with a pop.

After the embarrassment that he suffered the other day, Kasanoda Ritsu was going to give that Host Club a piece of his mind. The Yakuza heir only wanted for Morinozuka Takashi to teach him how exactly he was able to make so many friends, despite having the face of a guard dog from hell!

But instead of receiving help from his idol of sorts, he was being toyed with by the rest of the Host Club. He stood there watching Suō Tamaki write things on the white board with a dry erase marker, blabbing on about this and that. Next to the board was the Hitachiin Twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, as well as Haninozuka Mitsukuni. All three seemed to be playing along with the taller blond. Ōtori Kyōya had his back facing the group, reading some kind of newspaper. Mori was standing off to the side with his usual wooden expression, while Fujioka Haruhi watched everything with a look of complete exasperation from the aforementioned host's side.

Clenching his fist, he could feel the blood vessel in his temple throbbing as his irritation grew to new heights.

'Even right now they are treating this like a game!'

The tap of the pointer in the blond's hand against the board brought his attention to his words.

"As of today, the battle to reinvent Bossanova's image begins in earnest! As this is our first day, I know everyone must be anxious…but try to remain calm! Let the ideas flow!"

Gritting his teeth, Ritsu finally lost it at the mocking "Yes sir!" that the idiot three responded with.

"STOP PRETENDING LIKE YESTERDAY DIDN'T HAPPEN! THANKS TO YOU FOOLS I HAD TO SUFFER SO MUCH HUMILATION!"

Immediately everyone's attention snapped in Ritsu's direction, and the twins scoffed before leaning in towards each other.

"What was that," they both asked while staring at him with judging eyes before looking at each other with matching smirks.

"Man! Does that guy had a sever persecution complex or what?"

Twitching at the blatant disregard for his feelings, his attention was then turned towards Tamaki, who only shook his head.

"I ask that you forgive the twins, as it was their playful immaturity that caused your unfortunate experience yesterday…" Tamaki began as he placed a hand on Kasanoda's shoulder, and ignored the indignant protests from the twins.

"But don't worry about all of that, we shall all we can to help change yourself so you will be able to make some friends!"

Shocked, Kasanoda couldn't help but feel a bit happy over the offered assistance. Yes, the attempt yesterday had been a bust, but at least they seemed honest about trying to help him. If the Host Club were able to help him, then maybe he would finally be able to do what he has always wanted all along; to make friends.

"Ah, it seems we have a guest."

The ambiguous voice of the "Natural" Host brought him out of his thoughts, and he turned around along with the rest of the Host Club. When he noticed the person standing there, Kasanoda gaped unattractively at the sight of the foreign boy he had helped the previous day. But unlike the previous day, he was wearing the Ouran Academy school uniform though there were slight modifications here and there, but not enough for him to get reprimanded for it.

But what really caught his attention was that he wasn't paying any mind towards any of the attractive hosts standing near him.

No, the only one in the room that this foreign teen seemed to have eyes for was him!

Tamaki stepped forward and cleared his throat before smiling charmingly towards the black-haired young man, who was making his way towards them. The Host Club King could barely contain his excitement at the sight of the cute student. He was definitely as cute as his precious daughter!

"Welcome to the Host Club! As the King of the Host Club, is there something I could do for you my little kitten?"

For a moment, the green-eyed boy only stared at Tamaki blankly before shaking his head. Refusing the hand that was held out to him, he ignored the blond's attempt at a greeting. The black-haired boy turned his attention from the blond, who was now sitting in the nearest corner surrounded by the other hosts, who were making attempts at cheering him up. He turned his gaze back over towards the stiff Kasanoda.

The tension in the room rose as the two boys did nothing more but look at each other, and the Host Club only found themselves watching the strange situation to see how it unfolded.

Ritsu's cheeks were a dark pink as he looked into intense green gaze that seemed to be searching for something in him. What he was searching for, Ritsu had no idea, but the way he looked at him caused the redhead to squirm in place. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the Hosts watching them intently and he felt his anger bubbling up inside of him once again.

'I have no idea what this guy wants, but I don't owe him anything!'

Suddenly shoving his hands into the pockets of his black slacks, Kasanoda leaned forward and fell back on his natural reflex. Narrowing his eyes at the other, he made a mental note that after the Host Club helped change him, he would apologize for what he was about to do. For a split second, regret flashed through his eyes and the other's eyebrows rose questioningly.

"HRRRRRRRRNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH?!"

Whatever reaction Ritsu was expecting, it wasn't the one he received. If anything the foreign boy's eyes grew darker and a slight blush formed on his face much to his confusion.

Suddenly the boy reached forward with his hands and grasped his face. A squeak erupted from the Host Club King as the boy tugged Ritsu's face down to his own and slanted their lips together in a kiss. Silence reigned in the Third Music room as the Host Club watched the shorter boy dominate the Kasanoda heir's lips until the redhead's legs gave out from under him. It was obvious that this wasn't one of those sweet romantic kisses, which Tamaki fantasizes about sharing one day with Haruhi.

No, this boy was ravaging Ritsu's mouth and from the muffled whine that came from Kasanoda, the boy was extremely skilled.

Minutes later it was obvious that Kasanoda was running out of breath as the black-haired boy slowly broke the kiss, revealing a line of saliva that connected their tongues. As Kasanoda breathed in heavily, unknowingly showing off a more vulnerable look than anyone thought he would be capable of. The other boy was completely calm, though a pink tinge was clear on his cheeks.

The Hosts only continued to gape in complete shock before Haruhi's voice broke the silence.

"T-that was kind of hot…"

Everyone turned their gaze towards the "Natural" Host.

What in the hell was going on!?

End of Chapter 1

Okay well that was interesting. I'll go ahead and get started with the next chapter of this, as I plan on not having them go on longer than about 10 chapters. It shouldn't take long for me to finish this. Obviously this will contain slash, and some smut. That was a plan I've had as soon as I came up with this idea.

Hopefully you all enjoyed this! If you didn't well then sorry, but there are other stories on the site.

Later,

Pool-Sempai