SIX MONTHS.

That's how long it had been since Schneizel had completely an utterly defeated Lelouch, That was the amount of time that had passed since his knights had turned on him, the time since he broke Kallen's heart, since he lost Nunnally, since he lost everything that mattered in even the slightest way to him.

Yes Nunnally was alive; but perhaps that was the cruelest loss of all, after all when he thought Nunnally was dead he could imagine her up in heaven smiling, able to see again, able to walk. But no longer.

When Schneizel first told Lelouch that Nunnally had survived he was ecstatic, he was able to imagine seeing her smiling face when they reunited; he instantly demanded to be taken to see her. When he finally obtained the chance to see Nunnaly with his own eyes, just knowing that nunnally was alive almost made losing everything else worth it. Almost.

When he spoke her name with reverent joy, Lelouch didn't notice her expression harden into a scowl, he didn't notice her hands clench in rage, he didn't notice her sightless glare. So his joy was ripped away from him as his world shattered around him when she uttered four words. "I. Hate. You. Zero." Confused Lelouch absently checked for his mask before protesting; "Nunally, It's me, Lelouch, your big brother."

"Don't claim to be him! Don't claim to be my Onii-Sama! Lelouch would never have done any of what you have done Zero! Lelouch is dead!"

Thus began Lelouch's fruitless six month quest to try to regain Nunnally's love, to even see her smile even once because of him.

Fate truly was cruel; Over these past six months it had become crystal clear to him... Any love Nunnally once held for him was dead. All that was left behind was hatred.

And so Lelouch finished writing his note, as he had finally made his mind up to grant Nunnally one final wish... he walked towards the Balcony of his room on the third floor of Aries Villa, to where he had tied his makeshift linen rope, as he slipped the open loop of his noose over his head, he thought of the last words she had said to him... "I wish you were dead!" it brought a grim smile to his face as he stepped towards the balcony... after all he had nothing left to lose, maybe this is what would finally bring a smile to Nunnally's face. 'Too bad I won't be able to see it." Lelouch thought a grim smile painting his face. With just a moments hesitation Lelouch stepped up onto the balcony rail before letting himself fall to oblivion.

As much as it left a sour taste in her mouth Prince... No Emperor Schneizel had kept his word and more Diplomatic relations had been opened between Britannia and the UFN, several areas had been allowed to secede from Britannia, it looked like war was a thing of the past at least for now. However that wasn't why she had booked a flight to Pendragon, no her reason for being in the capital of the country she hated was far more personal. Over the past six months she had stayed in contact with Sayoko who was watching over both Lelouch and Nunnally.

The real reason she was here was for Lelouch, while she still didn't understand what she meant to him it was clear from her correspondence with Sayoko that he needed something, in her letters Sayoko had described Lelouch's slow decay into a husk of his former self.

Thus it was that Kallen was the one to see Lelouch stand on the railing of a balcony, What appeared to be a bed sheet tied around his neck with the other end tied to the Railing. She then saw him lean and fall from his perch plummeting towards death.

Kallen uttered only one word as she burst into motion, only one word as she rushed to try to save his life.

"LELOUCH!"

A/N: And there ends Chapter 1 of Despair; now for those of you who may be concerned bout it I am working on several of my other fics, Despair here is more to serve the purpose of letting me get back into the groove of writing CG fics.