The corner of Castiel's mouth twitched to a smile. A little sad, but still a smile. He was watching Dean in his half asleep daze, slowly coming to awareness.
Those green eyes lit up with fond amusement as he returned the angel's staring.
Cas leaned gently over him, and Dean's head which was rested on the angel's lap, twitched then a full smile blossomed on his lovely face, which made Cas's heart thump a little painfully against his vessels ribs. Just as every time, Dean gave him a genuine smile like this.
- You are beautiful, Dean.
Dean winced at those words, and started to protest. Cas however silenced him with a soft kiss to his lips. He knew perfectly what Dean wanted to say, he heard it so many times by now.
- You ARE beautiful, Dean Winchester. – repeated Cas more firmly.
How could he explain it to him? How could he make his human understand how truly beautiful he was? And not because of his appearances, but his always shining, glowing soul. As much as Cas cared about physical appearances, Dean could have looked like Quasimodo himself. It was his soul that made Castiel melt every time he looked at him.
Suddenly a strong coughing fit made Dean's body strain, and Cas captured his face in his hands, and hold him gently, until the attack died down.
- Rest, Dean.
Dean smiled, again, and lifted his hand, to stroke Cas' cheek.
- Love you Cas. I think, forever. – then his eyelids became heavy again, and Cas watched with another sad smile, as Dean fall back to sleep. And Cas started to dream, while watching over him.
Cas was really lost from the moment, he touched Dean's soul in Hell. He didn't knew immediately but later he realized, it was love. Like, at first touch.
He held to the soul, like his life depended on it, and flew. Out of Hell.
But Dean didn't recognize him when they first met, and Castiel wanted to stay loyal to his Family, to his Father, with everything he had.
But Dean turned his faith. And Cas started to believe in Dean instead of Heaven. And that faith, that was stronger than anything else before.
For the first time, he felt. He felt for real. And he loved it. Loved him. Could have died for him. And died for him. And then, he came back for him.
After they lost Sam for good, after Hell devoured his body and soul, and he buried himself in it, with Lucifer in his body, Dean lost everybody. Except Cas.
Dean lost contact with Bobby, and couldn't find his peace at Lisa's.
He never could fight the urge to run, to flee, to hunt for long.
And Cas? Cas watched over him. But never present, not in flesh and blood. He thought, if he appeared, it would cause Dean more pain. So he watched silently from a distance.
At one night, in a very vivid nightmare about Sam, Dean cried out Cas' name, and the angel appeared immediately. He shook Dean awake, and embraced his shaking body with all of his heart and love poured into it.
Dean returned the embrace at first, but after a while, he grabbed Cas' trench-coat, and threw him onto the bed.
That wasn't how Cas pictured it. Dean kissed him, violently and hard. He was biting at his lips, he tore his shirt open and clawed at his skin frantically.
- Does that hurt? – Dean growled frantically. – Do you feel that? Can you feel anything at all, you son of a bitch? Can you feel the pain, I feel? The pain Sam has to feel every godforsaken minute down there? The pain, that I can't do anything to save him? I want you to feel the pain.
Cas looked up at the torn soul above him, and nodded. He let himself feel it. In no time his skin was covered in blood, as Dean's teeth and nails dug into his skin, tearing it open. Cas just let it happen. Didn't heal the wounds.
Dean's leg suddenly pressed hard and unforgiving into his crotch, and Cas let out a painful sob, which made Dean go even more wild.
His left hand pushed down on Cas' throat and started to squeeze it. Cas didn't put up a fight, instead he held the broken man closer, who again, pushed his knee against the vessels sensitive parts. Slowly Cas became a throbbing, bleeding mess, and he started to gently whisper into Dean's ear, not even knowing for sure, what he was saying.
- Dean… it's okay. – his voice wrecked, but he was past caring. – It's okay…
His words seemed to soar through Dean's hazed mind, as his head snapped up to the angel's face, and the human watched in horror as a lone tear slipped out of the corner of Cas' eyes and slid down on his cheek.
In the same second, Dean let go of the angel, his beautiful eyes clouded and filled with regret, horror and terror. Cas watched Dean's face, as the sight of this one little drop, this only evidence of the pain and sadness broke the curse.
- Cas… God, Cas I'm so sorry. Forgive me, Cas…?
Cas blinked at him, then grabbed Dean's hand, and pulled him back and kissed him on the lips.
- It's okay, Dean. It's okay. I can take it…
Dean just shook his head stubbornly.
- No. It's not ok, Cas. I don't want it. Not like this. Forgive me?
At Cas' nod, Dean started to stroke the angel's face gently, kissed him with passion, but tender this time.
- Please Cas. Make them disappear. Your wounds. I… I don't… I can't…
In the blink of an eye, all the blood and the wounds disappeared, along with Cas' clothes. The bewilderment and the pure lust in Dean's eyes made Cas shiver, and the angel grabbed Dean's hand again, pulling him in.
- Cas… You sure?
- Yes Dean. Very.
- Stop it, Cas… Please don't.
Cas startled a little bit, he didn't notice, that Dean was awake. Castiel sometimes had the feeling, that Dean had a sixth sense for this. As if he'd always known, when Cas was thinking about their first night together.
And to put it mildly, Dean hated it. As he hated everything, that made Cas hurt or sad.
- Dean…
- No, Cas. Stop. – came a very tired, but determined voice. Stubborn as ever. The thought made Cas smile again.
- Same old Dean Winchester. – the angel smirked down at the hunter in his lap, and Dean's grin lit up the room.
- And his annoying little angel…
But his sentence ended in another coughing attack, and Dean's hand grabbed the angel's a little desperate. As soon as it was over, the angel slid his hands out of Dean's grasp, and asked in a comforting voice:
- Would you like to drink something?
- Yeah… a beer could be nice…
- Dean…
- Don't get your panties in a twist, angel. Just joking. – he smiled tentatively at Cas, and added, - The only thing I want is you. Being here with me.
And Castiel chose to stay with Dean. He brought Sam back, which almost killed him. Dean never forgave himself, after he's seen the state Castiel was in after his little visit in Hell.
And yes, it was hard to bring Sam back. But put him back together? Impossible. Something broke in him down there, and Cas deleted his memories many times, but it just didn't seem to work for long. Eventually Sam gave up. And this time, Dean let go of him. Castiel made sure, that Sam landed in Heaven this time.
Dean never asked Cas again, to bring his brother back. Seeing him suffer like that was worse than letting him go.
And Dean never hurt Cas again. Loved him, fiercely. Cas promised him, to stay by his side till the end of his days and after. And slowly, Dean learned how to believe in Cas.
Cas hold Dean tight every night, kept the nightmares away from his hunter, and did everything Dean wanted him to do. He stayed on Earth, he went to hunts with him, healed his injuries, and with the time Cas' patience and love started to heal some of the wounds on Dean's soul.
After a hunt went terribly wrong, Dean was the one, who held him, with such desperate passion like never before.
They miscalculated the numbers of demons. After they popped up in the warehouse, more demons appeared. It was a trap.
And one of the demons had an angel blade with and managed to separate and injure Castiel, while he was killing one of the last demons remained. He planted the blade into Cas' side. The angel barely could burn it out of the vessel, and it took all his remaining strength. He collapsed onto the floor bleeding and his grace pouring out of the wound.
Dean found him not much later, after he finished his share of killing.
- Cas…?
Cas looked up at the hunter who was kneeling by his side, and watching him with horror and fear in his eyes.
- Oh, my God, Cas… No. No no no no, please no…
-Dean… It's okay. I'm… - but he couldn't fight the darkness surrounding him slowly and with a soft sigh he fell into it.
When he woke up, he found himself laying in the office of the abandoned warehouse and Dean was patching up his wound, with almost frantic movements.
- Dean… Leave it… - as Dean wasn't about to stop, Cas grabbed his hand, and pulled it to his lips, for a soft kiss. Dean's head remained lowered, Cas decided to shock him out of his shock and bit into Dean's hand. This startled the hunter, and his head shot up to finally meet the angel's eyes. Cas smiled.
- Dean, I am going to be all right. I am healing. Just give me a few hours, please?
- Just, y'know… I wanted to help
- And you did indeed. Kiss me, please?
At this, Dean gave him a smile, and did as asked. The kiss meant to be soft and tender, at least from Dean's part, but Cas wouldn't have any of it, and soon turned it into a heated making out session.
After they parted, because the hunter needed to breathe, Cas gave him a small smirk, and remarked:
- As I said, you helped.
- Yeah, smartass… As you said. – but Dean was laughing, and Cas closed his eyes once more, knowing that this time Dean will watch over his dreams.
That night, after Cas came to, healed and good as new, Dean held him like a drowning man holding on to his last straw. Dean kissed him like never before, like he wanted to store every second of it into his senses, like he wanted to remember the feel of Cas for all eternity.
It didn't took Dean too long to start begging.
- Please Cas… I… - he gulped, hard – I want you… Inside…
Cas went rigid for a second, and then looked up at Dean, with surprise clearly written on his face. Dean never gave up control in the bed before. He always made sure, to take Cas apart, to make him a mess, until Cas couldn't do anything, then shake and tremble under his hunters ministrations, until he forgot Heaven and Hell and Earth and the only thing he could remember was one name; Dean…
Right now, Cas knew, he was staring at Dean like the hunter just grown a second head, because he heard Dean chuckle, and repeat his words, this time more confident.
- Cas… I want you. Inside me.
- Dean…? Are you…?
- Yes, chucklehead, I'm sure.
- But Dean, there is no need…
- Hell there is a need. Shut up, and listen to me, feathers… - Dean lowered his head, until his lips were brushing against Cas' ear – I want you to fuck me.
Cas let out a small moan at the hunter's words, but Dean wasn't even nearly done.
- I want you, angel, to use your imagination. Use it, and put it in good use. I want you, to do EVERY god damned thing to me, you can imagine, or you ever dreamt of. Am I clear?
- Deaaaan… - Cas whimpered.
- Now, listen to me. You told me, you swear to me, you'd do EVERYTHING I asked you to do. So, do it! I'm asking. Fuck me, Cas. Make me yours, because I wanna be yours. Now!
The last word came out as a growl, and Cas lost it.
- As you wish… -he growled and flipped them in the bed, now laying between Dean's spread legs.
And Cas did everything he ever wanted to Dean. And after a few minutes, the little spark of fear vanished from Dean's eyes and soul and Cas felt overwhelmed by the trust Dean gave him.
He prepared the hunter slow and throughout with his fingers, pressing down to his prostate, massaging it, while sucking his cock, like his life depended on it. And considering the voices Dean was making if not Cas' life, but maybe the hunters depended on it.
And the first time, Cas slid into the heat of Dean's tight hole, he had this crazy thought flashing into his mind, that yes, he chose right. This wasn't Heaven, it was better.
Cas was watching Dean while he fucked into him, how his back arched off the bed, how he parted his lips, and panted, begged and repeated Cas' name like it was a prayer. And Cas decided, he never saw the real Dean before. Because Dean war more beautiful than ever.
His orgasm came so sudden, and simultaneously with Dean's and Cas couldn't hold back his tears, and wanted with all of his being to be able to show Dean, how he shone and how much he meant to Castiel. How grateful Castiel was for this unique and pure hearted man's love.
- Cas… We've talked about this… - Dean's voice sounded disapprovingly, as he wiped the tears from the angels face. Cas gave the human in his lap a small smile.
- Yes, I know Dean. But that won't make it any easier.
- Cas, you made my life valuable again.
- Then why?
- Because that's the right thing to do… Do you think, I want this? Because believe me, I don't. But Cas… we'll meet again, right? You'll be there with me. You'll come home with me?
- Of course, Dean.
- See? No biggie.
- Yes, Dean. No 'biggie'.
As much as Cas wanted, Dean never let him re-age the hunter. Which caused after a decade or so after Dean passed fifty, a few arguments with a very-very grumpy and stubborn as hell hunter.
But Cas never got tired of it. He repeated it, as many times as Dean needed to hear it, that the angel can't see his wrinkles, in his eyes Dean haven't aged a day, because Cas saw behind the body, and was looking at Dean's soul.
Cas always closed those arguments, by telling Dean, how beautiful the human is. Which made his hunter growl and tell him not to lie 'smartass'.
Just like right now, as Cas was looking down at his human, his love, with eyes full of wonder and love, Dean gave him a weak sigh, and remarked.
- Dude, you need to do something about your sight. Something IS wrong with it. 'M just an old wreck.
Cas answered with leaning in, and planting a chaste kiss on Dean's lip.
- I'll give you a last present, Dean. – the angel murmured into the kiss. And with that, he captured the hunter's face in his palms, and poured all of his love in his humans mind and soul. What he saw when he was looking at him, how beautifully Dean's soul shone and how important he was to Castiel. He could feel Dean holding his breath, as the sensations flew into him.
Young Dean, old Dean, crying, laughing, angry and happy. All of it. But as the same beautiful as ever, making the human ageless and eternal.
- Love you, you old wreck. – whispered the angel, and let go of Dean's face. And Dean was smiling, his smile lit up the room, the world one more.
- You… You millennia old smartass… - Dean fell silent for a second, then added. – Thanks for being my millennia old smartass, Cas.
And Cas smiled, smiled, although he only wanted to scream and crawl and cry, and whispered:
- Good bye, Dean…
And Castiel knew which is going to be the last breath, and he captured it with his mouth, pressing it closely to Dean's. He wanted it, he needed it, the last one to be his. And he knew, that the stubborn ass will find him in Heaven, and he will find Sam, and Mary and John, along with all the long lost friends, and he knew, that he'll be watching over Dean's eternal happiness forever and beyond.
There was a lone figure at the side of the dark, long road. Standing there, and watching the sky, darker then the road. His old-old leather jacket was wrapped tightly around his torso, and the man shivered, as he felt a presence appear behind him.
The corner of his lips turned into a small smile, and told to the figure behind him, without turning around.
- Took you long enough, feathers.
- It's merely been a minute, Dean. - came the deadpan reply, and at that, a radiant smile lit up the dark road ahead.