Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys!

Second Month

The second class was led by Dee and Dum; they seemed young, but of course, everything's never as it seems. When Sidney finally entered the room late, he saw the two were handling girls in each's arms.

"Oh, our idiots are here...Too bad, Felicia." Dee, the blue-themed twin, let his girl exit the room.

"Till we meet again, Rosaline~" Dum winked. "Call me!"

Just as the girls exited the class, and the pupils thought the lesson could finally start, several ringtones interrupted; Dee and Dum quickly fetch their cellphones.

"Sorry, sorry, Trixie, I'll call you later...I miss you...but this is how it should be." Dee sultry smirked to his phone and clicked the next caller. "Ruby! It's been a while! Are you still as hot as you had always been, sweetie?"

"Kelly, honey, I'm sorry about this, but I really can't talk right now. I'll talk to you later...at Palace Hotel...how's that?" Dum grinned to his phone. "Sweet! Get ready to be surprised!"

Sidney twitched as he sat down beside Black. "Am I late or what?"

"They've been busy for at least half an hour..." Julius narrowed his eyes.

"What the fuck...it's like they're fucking showing off..." Black growled impatiently.

After a while, finally the twins turned off their cell phones and observed their older pupils.

"So, welcome to our class, noobs." Dum snickered.

"We're gonna teach you a bit of this and that..." Dee chuckled and flicked his fingers. The pupils then watched Alice Liddell came, wearing sleeveless shirt and knee-length pants; casual and unreadable as usual.

"Today, we're gonna make you learn about..." Dum gestured with his fingers; "Traps."

Pierce gulped; Boris and Peter exchanged stares.

"Women are the definition of 'everything is never as it seems', like in Fireflies song." Dee yawned. "Words are crucial, expressions and acts are measured; women tend to read in things very much, especially when you're someone close to them in relationship."

"Alright, let's get started!" Dum clapped his hands and nodded to Alice. "When Alice says something, each of you have to give the correct response. Knowing if it's correct or not will be known from how she reacts back. And so it begins!"

Alice put on a neutral face, with slightly tense jaw and stared at the ten males. "We need to talk."

Blood and Elliot, having been in a relationship (some, for Blood), knew that it was the beginning of a bad thing. But Peter had taken the wrong act;

"Sure, what is it?"

Alice narrowed her eyes on him; "Don't pretend like you don't know! I hate it when you act all innocent!" she humphed and looked away angrily.

"Peter White's down." Dee yawned.

"Do I look fat in this suit?" Alice asked with worried expression.

Pierce shook his head. "No! You look fine!"

Alice narrowed her eyes on Pierce, making the boy flinch. "Hmph! You're just saying that to make me feel better about myself! I hate liars..."

"U-Uh..." Sidney quickly said; "Yeah, I think you look a bit fat..." and seeing the actress changed her expression made Sidney regret his answer.

Alice pouted and looked away, crossing her arms. "H-Huh...So I look fat...Fine. So that's how it is? Fine!" she scoffed angrily.

Black twitched. "What the f—then what's the fucking answer to that!?" he complained in disbelief.

Boris flicked his fingers. "Oh, how about..." he came forth and suddenly embraced the girl. "Let me see...Hm...Nope! You fit just fine in my arms!" he let go and grinned at her.

Alice blushed and beamed. "Aww...you...!" she kissed his cheek, making Boris blush in happiness.

Dum whistled. "Whoa, that's new...pretty creative! I thought there's no answer to that...Played well, noob." He nodded and gave Boris a thumb up.

"Don't you think that girl looks prettier than me?" Alice asked with a wry expression, glancing to an imaginary prettier girl.

That was definitely a trap, so the males fell silent, unable to react. After ten seconds, Alice huffed and scowled.

"Huh, so you do think she's prettier than me!" she angrily looked away.

"We didn't even fucking say anything!" Black protested.

Dee chuckled. "We told you; acts are measured. Silence for women is categorized as an answer."

For a while, Alice acted with various expressions, giving very hard women's questions. Most of the time, the males couldn't give a good response, but slowly, they got the hang of it as Dee and Dum explained the things.

When a girl said; "We need to talk.", it was a very dangerous question; wrong turn and say goodbye to your woman. Try to think what you've done, or start to apologize before anything.

Example;

"We need to talk." Alice narrowed her eyes on Blood.

Blood sighed in defeat. "I know, I know...I'm sorry...it's about last night's date, right? I told you I'm sorry...I really tried to spare my time..."

"No, that's not it!" Alice shook her head.

"Oh...is it about Rebecca?" Blood frowned. "I'm sorry...If that bothers you, I won't talk to her anymore..."

Alice gulped and shook her head. "That's not it, Blood..."

"Oh...I know..." Blood hit his palm with his fist. "I've been being a bad boyfriend to you, is that it? If you really think so...please tell me...I'll always try to be better for you, Alice. I'll always try my best for you...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for not paying attention to you..." he looked down.

Alice bit her lower lip and shook her head. "N-No...Y-You've done nothing wrong, Blood...I just..." she gulped, seeming awkward. "Um, oh...I-I was going too...Um, I forgot..." she laughed nervously. "Let's just forget about it and...Hey, let's have a great date tomorrow. I'll make sandwich!"

Next trap question is; "Do I look fat?". Keep in mind, for girls, there are no rhetorical question; silence is also and answer. Don't deny and don't say yes to their face. Try to get out of it by being creative, like Boris had done earlier.

"That girl looks pretty, huh?" is another trap, but depends on the circumstances. If the girl is actually not prettier than your girlfriend, then just laugh it off, since it means that she's trying to feel better about herself.

If the girl is actually really pretty more than your girlfriend, these are the cliché answers that most girls had been immune to;

"You're fine the way you are.",

"I like you better.",

"I can only see you in my eyes.",

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.",

"I like your type more.",

And... "You're beautiful just the way you are."

The answer for the question "That girl looks pretty, huh?" also depends on the type of your girlfriend.

For example:

If she's a popular and girly type, it'd be very hard to answer, since being pretty is everything she's got on going. It's important to protect her pride, but cliché answers really wouldn't work.

Instead, ask her back; "Why do you think that?" or "Do you really think so?"

These responses would reflect her own questions, and she'll realize that she's fishing for praise, only to defy it.

If she's the shy and low-esteemed type, try to boost her confidence by saying;

"I don't really care about that..." casually and sincerely, then put on a warm smile as you look at her. "I think inner beauty is more important for me."

(Effect on this type of girl would be; hard blush and insomnia with major can't-stop-smiling syndrome as she played your words on and on in her mind, plus growing confidence.)

If she's the tomboy type, be casual and joke a little. Tomboys are females with their feminine side trapped beneath their immature, less-female-hormone-body. Deep down, they'd wish to feel better about themselves, but don't act too frigid about this.

Say something that goes along the line of; "Haha! She is...! She gets more boobs there...But I don't date for boobs, silly. Don't mind it too much!" and give her a very bright, sincere smile that make her trust you so much while casually patting her shoulder.

...If your girlfriend is the weird oddball type like the author of this stupid fanfiction, go all the way to agree with her.

"Well duh! Look at 'em curves she's got! And those boobs! And how stylish she's dressed! And now look at you! You look like a walking log wearing sweater and jogging pants!"

"But I have boobs."

"I can't see your boobs under your over-sized clothes!"

"But I'm a prude. I can't help it."

"I know. I only want to marry a virgin."

"Gee, thanks. I feel better about myself since I'm promised a husband now."

(There's no correct or wrong answer if your girlfriend is a weird girl. Because most of the time, she'd be wondering why you'd put up with her.)

~.X.~

Old-Fashioned Girls

And so, the next week's Simulation was led by Gowland.

"Old-Fashioned girls are mostly virgin; the highest virgin rate's currently from South-East Asia, but lately it's been down due to globalization and westernization." Gowland explained, pointing at a chart in the room.

"Unlike Japanese, Korean nor Chinese, these girls only date for the fun of hanging out and enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Losing virginity before marriage would be a dreadful shame to their family and a big sin. In most of the South East Asia's countries, abortion is illegal and is a serious crime. It's against their firm religions and human rights."

Ace hummed with a smirk. "They sound quite sweet and innocent then."

Gowland chuckled. "That's not something to quickly concluded, though. South-East Asia have pretty bad economy, so despite this, their family...and even most of the girls would seek men that are mature, economically average or more, have their own house and salary."

Elliot sighed. "It's like, all girls on planet Earth don't care about true love!"

"Quite close." Gowland nodded. "Of course, there's always exceptions. But that's why you're here! So you can make these girls fall in love with you, right?"

"They're easily impressed and attracted with western boys, so there aren't much to learn. We're going to continue with African and Australian..."

~.X.~

It was the last day for their second month's lessons. Black was the only one left in the class, scowling at his guide book. After a while learning here, he only thought more that girls are irritating. Like, there was not a single couple on Earth was truly in love. Everything, everyone of them had a motive to be in a relationship.

"What's the fucking point in all this shit, then?" Black threw his book to the table. "To rub the fucking fact that nothing's sincere in this fucking planet?"

Alice just finished changing, and heard what Black said, so she approached him.

"I used to think that too..." she said, taking Black's book and stared at the summary at the back. "I still do. Humans aren't eternal, unlike God. Humans are dynamic; they can change, they're free, as well as their feelings. At times like this, things such as true-love is really hard to find..."

Black stared at her with a scowl. "Is that shit really exist?"

Alice chuckled. "I never think that love between humans can be true...True love is something that should be eternal. Humans don't live forever...But that doesn't mean that their love doesn't matter. One can fall in love to a person, and once that person dies, one can move on and fall in love again."

The red head scoffed and glanced away. "That fucking sucks."

Alice giggled. "I think it's a blessing. It's wonderful that we can change, we can move on, we can grow and have different feelings to different people. It's in our nature; why waste our life to grief on only one love? When you're still alive, you should love as much as you can."

Black stared at the actress in surprise, since she looked very sincere about her words; he had never seen her like that. He even knew she wasn't acting.

"In fact, we should love everything that we've been blessed with. We should love our life, we should love our friends, our family, the nature, the animals...Isn't that true love?" she then glanced to Black and beamed. "I wish, when you and your friends finished this course, you guys will think differently about love."

Black glanced away with clear blush.

"Love isn't a dramatic story between a man or woman. Love is a kind thing; it's a blessing, it's inside us...Something that makes us choose the right decisions in life. Something that makes us humans; never giving up, always doing our best, becoming wise, down-to-earth, brave...all things that makes us humans and those around us to be good."

Alice's eyes widened, and she fell silent. Black cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward as he knew that Alice just revealed her true self.

"Sorry for being weird, hahaha..." she giggled, returning to act again and winked to Black. "See you next week, Lover Boy!" the dark blonde left.

Black gulped and said, before she could left the room; "Thanks for telling me that."

He looked away in shame as Alice left with red face.

He smiled to himself, feeling rather happy that he was the first one...maybe the only one who ever saw the actress to act sincerely.

"Well at least now I fucking learned that this love thing is fucking good, not a tear-jerker teenage drama..."

I got a great headache, and it's weird that it's gone after I'm done with this chapter. Ne way, I've been busy with FictionPress, and a closing plot...

So yeah, these are all things that I sincerely think about relationships, love and girls. Feel free to tell me what's on your mind, and if you think I'm super naive for writing this. It's just the kind of person I am.

And so, here's the extra:

Author's Room: Girls with Different Hair Colors

Author: So today, as requested, we're going to determine girls based on their hair colors...

*clears throat*

Blonde: Hey, I'm a blonde! Having a blonde hair means that I'm gonna suck your d—

*cut*

Blonde: ...I'm feisty, thinks a lot more than I appear to. Even as the shy, the tomboy, the girly or prude, blondes are known to have feisty; it's inside us. We can be ambitious most of the time. Mary Ingalls, Cinderella, Aurora; we're blondes and we're feisty...Mary Ingalls was known to be ambitious about studying. Blondes also have natural charm, so yeah, most of us are popular~! Why do you think Hannah Montana is so popular, huh?

Red-head: How y'all doin'? I'm a red-head...or ginger. Having ginger head means that I'm gonna suck your di—

Red-head: I'm unique and rare! I'm going to be extinct in the future, so many would like to be my friends! Red-head are usually connected with witches; strong witches are gingers; Sabrina, Ginny Weasley, Lily Potter. We're also a bit nutty but always interesting, like Ariel. Unfortunately, most of us have these annoying freckles! But then again, they can be our sweetening features~!

Brunette: Hello there! I'm a brunette. I'm a pretty common type, so we're the type that likes to try and blend in the crowds...Though in some novels we'd have a hard time from being nerdy and low-esteemed. Brunettes fit in a wide range of personality; girly, tomboy, feisty, sassy, shy...Most of us have low esteem and don't really realize our good points. Good thing about us, we're mostly nice...Even if we appear like a complete bitch, we have inner kindness. Unfortunately, our type is known to compare ourselves with others, and sometimes get jealous for no reason.

Brunette: Since we're common and close to girls in general, brunettes mostly become a main character in Dating Sims which doesn't show the MC's face. We're known for being cheerful and stubborn, but likes to keep our problems to ourselves.

Ravenette: Or you can say black-haired girls. Since black-head is a skin problem. Anyways, ravenettes are mostly Asians; we're always fiercely intelligent. If we're not Asians, we're stunningly beautiful; take Katie McGrath who plays Morgana in Merlin, for example. Despite this fact, we don't really care about our appearance; most of us are introverted or tomboys; shy, nerdy, to kickass. What attract us ranked from kindess, intelligence, sincerity and charming will be on the last list. We tend to like guys that are more mature than us. If we're the shy type, we'd be secretly cursing in our head. If we're the tomboy type, we'd say 'Fuck you' in your face, so loud that the entire school can hear.

Author: And I'm hereby to be in place for girls who aren't sure about their hair-colors. To put it simply, girls with uncertain hair-color which changes under different lights have one sure serious problem; identity crisis. We're fucking weird, most of us are funny, most of the time we'd be asking how do we fit in with the crowds. Even after a long while of socializing, we'd still wonder if they're our friends...And then like, 'Meh.' We like to be different and always like to do weird things. For example, I dyed my hair rainbow just because. Oh, and we also love to see reactions, so sometimes we'd do weird things just to see how people face will look like.

BF: Now we're moving onto Boys with different hair colors! For starters, I'm a brunet! A brunet guy LOVES boobs.

Raven-head: Hi, I'm black-haired boy. You know, one thing for sure about raven-heads? We LOVE boobs.

Ginger boy: Hey! I'm a red-head boy! I love BOOBS!

Blond: Hey there ladies! I love boobs!

Random-hair-colored boy: I LOOOVE BOOOBS!

Author: So, the conclusion is...

BF: Girls are complicated with their hair-colors. All of them have identity-crisis. Some probably will laugh or disagree to my GF's words.

Author: And boys, no matter what their hair-color is...they love boobs.

Haters gonna hate~

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