Chapter 1. Call Me When You're Sober.

"You're shitting me, right?" Gilbert dropped his suitcases onto the dirt beside the road, which blew up some dirt into his face.

Gilbert was a boy from the big city, the Big Apple, no less, yet here he was in a stupid hick town in the middle of nowhere. He was obviously out of his element, dressed in dark gray skinny jeans, black and white checkered converse, black shirt with a (kick-ass) white (Prussian) eagle on it, red jacket with white lining around it, and headphones with the Prussian flag on them around his neck. His stark white hair stuck up at odd angles from the long trip and his bright red eyes half-heartedly scanned the outskirts of this stupid town. His personal yellow chick was happily flying in circles around him.

"Nein," Gilbert's brother, Ludwig, stepped out of the car behind them, too. Ludwig looked far more modest with simple jeans, white T-shirt, and combat boots with slicked back blonde hair and cool blue eyes. Just looking at the two wouldn't tell you they were brothers.

"Do you hate me?" Gilbert blinked.

"You know I don't," Ludwig sighed, placing a hand on the elder brother's shoulder. "But you were just kicked out of your fifth school."

"And so you're sending me here?!" Gilbert twirled around to glare at his brother.

"Uncle Fritz lives here," Ludwig stated. "You'll live with him for the school year."

"Why the hell is he living here?" Gilbert snapped. "And why here, of all places, do I have to go to school?!"

"You heard what I said," Ludwig stated. "If you get kicked out of this school, you will be going to military school."

"Then just take me there now!" Gilbert groaned. "I would rather go there than stay at a place like this."

"What do you have against this town?" Ludwig sighed.

"It's in the middle of fucking nowhere!" Gilbert yelled at him. "They're probably all idiots due to inbreeding and they probably don't even have technology!"

"This is the 21st century, Gilbert," Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Just take me to military school," Gilbert begged.

"Gut luck, Gilbert," Ludwig sighed, turning back to the car.

"You're just gonna leave me here? Alone?" Gilbert tried to follow him, but Ludwig stopped him.

"Ja," Ludwig nodded. "I have not been kicked out of a single school and have no need for rehabilitation."

"So that's what this is about, too?" Gilbert groaned. Since Gilbert was 12 and he met these two friends on the street, he'd started smoking and drinking. He didn't view it as too big of a problem, but apparently the world was just un-awesome like that.

"Uncle Fritz will help you," Ludwig sighed. "Just spend the school year here."

"Ja, you definitely hate me," Gilbert sighed.

"You said you liked Fritz," Ludwig stated.

"When he's not being my fucking warden!" Gilbert snapped.

"You don't have a choice with this, Gilbert," Ludwig stated. "We are trying to help you."

"Then why aren't Mutti and Vati here?" Gilbert glared at him.

"Auf Wiedersehen," Ludwig stated and disappeared into the car, shutting the door loudly.

"I won't forgive you for this!" Gilbert yelled at him and the car started driving away. He let out a groan and kicked up some more dirt. He hated his family.

Finally, after cursing that damn sun, Gilbert started dragging his suitcases along the road. Since his family was stupid, he was dropped off at the edge of the town, so he would have to walk for a bit before he actually got into it. He was just happy the damn road was paved otherwise he would have killed someone by now. He dug into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out his flask, unscrewing it and taking a sip as he took a break. He was in some sort of neighborhood, from what he could tell, that took obnoxiously great care of their yards. There were a few people around, but he didn't pay them any mind. He would just have to get himself kicked out of this school quickly and he would spend his time in military school. Anything was better than this Hell.

"Hey!" someone yelled out at him and soon said person was right in front of Gilbert. With just one look, Gilbert knew the kid was obnoxious. He had wheat-blonde hair with one strand that stuck up to defy gravity and bright blue eyes hidden slightly behind glasses. Luckily, it didn't seem like the town was too far set back, because his clothes weren't too small-town like Gilbert thought. He wore jeans and a Captain America shirt underneath a bomber and tennis-shoes. "I'm Alfred!"

"Hi," Gilbert stated bluntly and took another swig of his flask before storing it back into his pocket and continuing on his way.

"You're new here," Alfred continued to follow him. "I can tell because, dude, I know I would have seen you somewhere before."

"Really now?" Gilbert sighed.

"So, where ya from?" Alfred asked.

"New York," Gilbert stated, trying desperately to find a house that Uncle Fritz would live in. The less time he would spend with this idiot, the better.

"Dude, I've always wanted to go to New York!" Alfred cheered excitedly. "What's it like?"

"The opposite of this," Gilbert stated pointedly.

"So, what are ya doing here?" Alfred asked.

"I'm here 'cause my family hates me," Gilbert sighed. "Hey, I'm looking for an old man, goes by the name Fritz."

"No way! You're the nephew Fritz keeps talking about!" Alfred cheered.

"And he talks about me," Gilbert sighed. "Just tell me where he lives."

"Wait, so which one are you?" Alfred asked. "The stoic, smart one? Or the troublesome one?"

"The term is awesome, not troublesome," Gilbert sighed, trying to ignore the stab of how Fritz talked about him and his brother differently. "Which house?"

"You passed it," Alfred laughed. "He lives right next door to me. So, that means you're Gilbert, right?"

"Uh-hu," Gilbert swiftly turned around.

"Fritz was talking about you coming to visit," Alfred continued talking without a care in the world. "How long are you here for?"

"As short a time as I can manage," Gilbert stated and finally saw Uncle Fritz standing on the porch of some house, waving happily at him.

"Are you gonna be going to our school?" Alfred asked.

"Not if I can help it," Gilbert sighed.

"I've been waiting for you!" Fritz called to him from the porch. He wore rather simple clothes: slacks and a rolled up dress shirt. He had slightly long, graying hair that he had tied back. "Ludwig called a few minutes ago."

"Probably to make sure I didn't run away," Gilbert sighed, stopping in front of the short stairs leading up to the porch.

"So, what's with the bird?" Alfred asked curiously.

"None of your damn business," Gilbert stated.

"Fine, I'm just trying to be friendly," Alfred sighed and finally turned back to his house, where Gilbert could see another kid that looked faintly like Alfred sitting on the porch.

"You're a bit grouchy," Fritz laughed as Gilbert started to lug his suitcases up the porch.

"What do you expect? I just got dumped in this stupid, old town to go to school," Gilbert glared up at him, as he was slightly taller.

"And here I thought we'd have a happy reunion," Fritz chuckled, leaning against the fencing on the porch.

"Just shut the hell up," Gilbert snapped.

"So this is what's happened in the five years I haven't seen you," Fritz sighed and Gilbert yanked open the front door. "So, Gilbird's still alive, huh?"

"Yup," Gilbert sighed, dragging his suitcases inside.

"Alright, arms up," Fritz sighed, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

"What?" Gilbert asked.

"Arms up," Fritz pointed up with his thumb. "I've been told to keep you away from cigarettes and alcohol."

"Fuck it," Gilbert pulled out his flask and tossed it at Fritz, who easily caught it. "That's all I got."

"You're sixteen, Gilbert," Fritz sighed, opening up the flask to find out what was in it. "You shouldn't be drinking."

"And how old were you when you started?" Gilbert snapped.

"That was in Germany, it's different," Fritz shrugged and took his own swig of Gilbert's flask. "Where the hell did you get this? This is good stuff."

"Parent's liquor cabinet," Gilbert sighed, leaning against the wall in the hallway.

"They need to get better locks," Fritz laughed.

"What do I have to do to get out of here?" Gilbert asked bluntly, choosing to get straight to the point.

"This is your last chance before military school," Fritz sighed.

"And I would prefer that over this dump," Gilbert sighed.

"You don't have a choice," Fritz stated. "School starts tomorrow and I've gotten you all the supplies I've been told you need. Your room's upstairs, second door on your right. If you want to go anywhere, you're walking or I give you a ride, we clear on that?"

"Yeah, yeah," Gilbert started to lug his suitcases up the stairs.

"Make sure your bird doesn't shit all over your room," Fritz called up to him. "You're cleaning up after him."

"Sure," Gilbert sighed, finally making it up the stairs and kicking open the door to his room. It was simple, with a bed, dresser, and desk lined around the walls and a small closet next to the bed. The comforter on the bed was black and white and the rest was a light brown wood. He flicked on the light switch, revealing that his light doubled as a fan that already started turning.

Gilbert didn't even bother doing anything with his suitcases and just let them fall onto the ground before he laid down roughly on the bed.

"Fuck my life," Gilbert muttered and pulled out his phone from his pocket, just to see if he could call anyone, but there was no signal. Gilbert just let out a sigh and let his phone drop to the ground before digging around for his iPod.

All he would have to do was get kicked out of this school and then he could say good-bye to this town. It shouldn't be too hard, considering how good he was getting at it. Some smoking and drinking…throw in some sex and fights and he was good. He probably wouldn't even have enough time to unpack.

"Good, you finally got everything in your backpack," Fritz smiled happily, looking over a tired and irritated Gilbert the next morning. Much against Gilbert's will, he was pulled out of bed at 6AM and forced to get ready with Fritz hounding him the entire time.

Gilbert had dressed in the same jacket as the day before with a black shirt underneath it and red jeans with the same shoes as the day before. He had put his piercings back in, the ones Ludwig refused to see Gilbert wearing. There were two in his right ear, one on his left, and one in his tongue.

Unluckily, Fritz was an ass and the backpack he had gotten Gilbert was neon pink. Fritz wouldn't let Gilbert leave the house until he checked through the backpack and made sure everything was in it, and nothing Gilbert wasn't supposed to have was in it, too. So that left out Gilbert's knife, his other flask, and his (cleverly hidden) box of cigarettes.

"This reminds me of when I saw you out on your first day of school," Fritz smirked. "You were hugging my legs, saying you didn't want to leave."

"Whatever," Gilbert sighed and started out the door. He'd come up with this complete, fool-proof plan that would get him expelled quickly. First thing: don't show up on the first day of school. It was an awesome plan and he'd be out of here in no time.

"Oh, and you're walking to school with my neighbors!" Fritz shouted out to him and Gilbert face-palmed. He looked over to find Alfred sitting on his porch and then yelling inside to someone. "You weren't thinking about skipping, were you?"

"Of course not," Gilbert sighed and adjusted the damned backpack and walked up to the porch. "We going or not?" he snapped at Alfred.

"Yeah, relax," Alfred hopped down the stairs. "We're just waiting for my brother."

"You have a brother?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Alfred stretched. "He was outside yesterday. Hey, dude, what's with the backpack?" Alfred started laughed and Gilbert was very tempted to punch him. But that would have to wait until school, where he could actually get in trouble.

"My uncle's an ass," Gilbert grumbled.

"I heard that," Fritz chimed.

"So, dude, I have a question for you," Alfred stated. "How did you get to be an albino?"

"I was born that way?" Gilbert scoffed. This Alfred really was an idiot.

"Well, I mean, is the rest of your family albino or something?" Alfred asked.

"Nein," Gilbert shook his head.

"So you're German, too!" Alfred said excitedly.

"Prussian," Gilbert stated and he could hear Fritz say the same thing at the same time.

"What's Prussia?" Alfred started laughing just as someone came down the steps. It was the guy that looked like Alfred, but now Gilbert could see some obvious differences between the two. This new one had slightly longer, wavy hair, and his blue eyes had a purple tint to them. He also looked a lot more shy and passive than Alfred. He wore simple jeans and a red sweatshirt with a white maple leaf on it that he seemed to be content in hiding in.

"An awesome country," Gilbert sighed.

"Uh, hi, I'm Matthew," the new kid said shyly.

"Gilbert."

"Alright, then, let's go!" Alfred said cheerfully and started marching down the street. Gilbert begrudgingly started following, Matthew walking just behind him. "So, what grade are you in, Gil?"

"11th," Gilbert stated simply.

"Us, too, man," Alfred chimed, leading Gilbert to believe that the two were twins.

"No shit," Gilbert muttered under his breath.

"So you never told me yesterday what you're doing here," Alfred said, apparently trying to be conversational.

"My stupid, un-awesome family is making me go to school here," Gilbert grumbled.

"I think I can see why," Matthew mumbled.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Gilbert glanced back at him and the boy visibly jumped.

"I-I was just thinking that you obviously need an attitude check," Matthew shrugged.

"I know I do," Gilbert sighed. "That's why they're threatening me with military school. Obviously, I would rather be there."

"Jeez, man," Alfred sighed. "What the hell are you even doing here, then?"

"Like I said," Gilbert said. "My family sucks."

"Maybe it's just you," Matthew muttered, receiving a glare from the albino. But Gilbert couldn't bring himself to care too much. If he played his cards right, he would be out of here by the end of the day. All it would take is a little bit of patience and getting his timing right.

Eventually, they came up to the school and Gilbert let out a sigh. It was just like any other school Gilbert had seen. It was made of brick and had two stories, littered with windows and with a no-doubt obnoxious color painting the place. There was a parking lot in the front with cars already taking up nearly all the spaces. Behind the school, Gilbert could see a track and football field along with some other grassy areas.

"So, you have a schedule, right?" Alfred asked as they started coming closer to the front door.

"I'm sure Fritz shoved it in this stupid backpack somewhere," Gilbert sighed, having absolutely no intention of going to any of his classes.

"Then how about you actually look at it?" Matthew asked.

"How about I shove it up your ass?" Gilbert snapped and Matthew sighed, looking away from him. "Wunderbar."

"Hey, don't mess with my brother," Alfred snapped, glancing back at him.

"Relax, I won't be around for much longer anyway," Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Asshole," Alfred grumbled, opening the front door and not bothering to leave it open for Gilbert, who only actually made it inside the school because of a group of obnoxious girls shoving their way through and giggling.

"Alfredo!" a new, very peppy voice cheered happily and another kid came up and gave Alfred a hug. He had this odd bob of red hair with a curl happily coming out of it and light brown eyes. He was dressed in a white dress-shirt, green vest, and green slacks with black tennis shoes. "I missed you this summer!"

"Yeah, dude, how was Italy with your brother?" Alfred laughed and Gilbert started to walk around them. If he was lucky, he could find something to do during the first class soon.

"Oh, it was super cool!" the boy said animatedly before he caught a glance at Gilbert and stood right in front of him. "Hi! I've never seen you before! My name is Feliciano! But everyone calls me Feli! I like pasta and taking naps and-"

"Hi," Gilbert cut him off before he could keep going for who knows how long.

"So, what's your name?" Feliciano asked.

"Gilbert."

"Cool!" Feliciano cheered. "Hey, so you're new right? I could show you around! What's your first class?"

"Perfect time to get out your schedule, huh?" Matthew chimed happily before walking down the hall.

"I'll find my way just fine on my own," Gilbert sighed.

"Oh, come on, let me see it!" Feliciano pleaded.

"I'm fine," Gilbert stated bluntly.

"Oh, come on," Alfred groaned and started rummaging through Gilbert's backpack.

"What the hell?" Gilbert snapped and turned around to glare at Alfred, who was happily holding up a folded piece of paper. "Ever heard of personal space?"

"Absolutely not," Alfred winked. "I have a twin."

"Here, let me zip this back up!" Feliciano said happily and Gilbert groaned as he zipped up the backpack.

"Hand it over," Gilbert held out his hand, but Alfred just laughed and reached around him to hand it to Feliciano.

"Nope," Alfred laughed and ran down the hallway to say hi to some other random kid.

"Give that to me," Gilbert glared at Feliciano, his patience running thin.

"You're scary, you know that?" Feliciano started shaking, hiding behind the now opened schedule.

"Just shut up and give it to me and you won't have to deal with me again," Gilbert sighed.

"Um, I don't think Alfredo wanted you to have it," Feliciano muttered.

"Forget it," Gilbert rolled his eyes and turned towards the front doors. He could just stay outside.

"Where are you going?" Feliciano asked. "School's about to start!"

"Outside," Gilbert sighed.

"But that's not where your first class is," Feliciano muttered.

"You're an idiot, aren't you?" Gilbert glanced back at him.

"A lot of people tell me that!" Feliciano nodded happily.

Gilbert just shook his head and moved to open the door, but someone coming in simply slammed it in his face.

"Fuck! Mein Gott!" Gilbert held onto his nose.

"There you are!" a new voice yelled. "Dammit, fratello! I told you to wait up for me!"

"Did you not see me right there?" Gilbert glared at the new kid, who looked a lot like Feliciano, but with darker hair. He wore a black dress shirt with fait white lines coming down it and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black slacks with black dress shoes. There was an obvious difference between Feliciano and this newcomer; one being ditzy and an idiot and the other looking pissed.

"That's why I slammed the door in your face, bastard," the newcomer spat at him.

"Lovi, what happened to you trying to be nicer?" Feliciano pouted.

"But he sounds German," this "Lovi" scoffed. "He is a bastard."

"Well, you're Italian, so that means you're an idiot," Gilbert retorted.

"Well no one asked you!" Lovi snapped.

"You're the one that just practically broke my nose!" Gilbert yelled at him.

"Hey, let's stop fighting guys!" Feliciano stood in between the two. "We should all be friends!"

"Only in your world," Lovi rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, I'm leaving," Gilbert turned back towards the door, rubbing at his sore nose.

"Wait, you're going to miss class!" Feliciano held onto his wrist and Gilbert glared back at him.

"I don't want to go to class, dip shit," Gilbert snapped. Feliciano blinked, almost looking hurt, finally, but he quickly recovered, smiling brightly.

"Sure you do!" Feliciano started dragging Gilbert through the hall and he honestly didn't even have enough effort to try to break away and run like he wanted to. "I know right where your first class is."

"No one talks to my brother like that but me!" Lovi snapped, following them.

"Then you go right ahead and do it," Gilbert sighed.

"Here we are!" Feliciano stopped in front of a door just as a bell rang above them. "I have to go! Ciao~!"

"Uh hu…" Gilbert sighed as the two brothers disappeared with the crowd that came through to get to their classes. Luckily, Feliciano was enough of an idiot to actually take Gilbert's schedule, so he could just leave the school and be fine.

Just as he was about to step away, someone grabbed his arm. Gilbert let out a groan and looked back to see what kind of idiot it would be this time, but instead he found someone that looked like a teacher.

"You're Old Fritz's nephew, aren't you?" the teacher smiled and Gilbert mentally cursed his uncle. "He told me to look out for the albino with the pink backpack."

"And I'm guessing you're my first period teacher," Gilbert sighed, allowing himself to be dragged into the classroom.

All of the chapter titles for this fic will be titles of songs. Call Me When You're Sober is by Evanescence.

So, I came up with the idea for this when watching Footloose and it's blossomed into a wonderful story in my head. So we'll see how it goes. Uncle Fritz is based off of Frederick the Great (or Old Fritz): a King of Prussia. Arguably the most awesome King of Prussia ever. If you have time, look him up, because he is pretty freaking awesome.

The main pairing will be PruCan, with a few other minor pairings scattered about. Like USUK, AusHun, and Prussia gets with a few other characters in the beginning, but he gets over that eventually.

My updates on this will probably be slower than my usual, as I am writing five stories at once right now. So please be patient with me!

Here's a preview for Chapter 2-Teenagers
"Hallo," Gilbert smirked, wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulders and keeping his accent thick. She had just been talking to the stiff and quieted down when he came around.

"Yes?" she asked, sounding rather amused.

"Ah, I just saw you talking to the stiff over here," Gilbert nodded to the brunette, "and I figured you would need someone as awesome as me to help you out of it."

"Oh, really?" the girl giggled and the brunette happily leaned against a wall with a knowing smirk on his face.

"Ja," Gilbert leaned in a little closer. "So what do you say to leaving with me and you can show me around, since I'm new around here?"

"Hm, what do I say?" the girl hummed, her smile growing. "Oh, I know!"

Before Gilbert could even blink, something round and black hit him right in the face, making him stumble backwards, holding onto his once again injured face.

Alright, that's it so please review!

I do not and never will own Hetalia or anything I may put into this story.