disclaimer: disclaimed.
notes: yeah, i don't know either except that i loved these two together and have been wanting to write them for ages so here you go. sorry/not sorry for the shortness. the lack of capitals is on purpose and i'm sorry if that bothers you, but there is no chance that it will change for stylistic reasons. in general, spoilers for season 3 so stop here if you care not for those kind of things.

the shape our hands made
boyd&erica

just as the lights went off / i know who i dream of.
You, My Everything by Ellie Goulding.

the loneliness after she's gone is worse than the loneliness before the pack because he knows, now, what that kind of love tastes like and he can't help but notice the sour aftertaste it leaves.

he wonders if this is what heartbreak feels like as he pierces his claws through the palm of his skin and tries to hold it together.

/

sometimes when the moon is hanging in the sky and looks as if it's taunting them, he thinks he hears her howl. but he never follows it, afraid of hunters or worse, and he never tells anybody of it, afraid of talking about the grief to people who have no idea what it's like to lose a love like hers.

isaac tries to talk to him about it, once, but boyd doesn't say anything, just looks at him forlorn as his friend stumbles on words that he tries to fashion in a way to make it sound like there is hope, but in a world where the monsters under your bed are real and the magic behind the curtains isn't just a simple distraction, boyd can't help but think otherwise and leaves when his friend says, "we all miss her, you know."

/

he remembers the first time that they made their hands intertwine with each others: a week after school ended and suddenly, he had this person that understood him more than he thought possible; nighttime, but the sticky-hot summer weather didn't let up and they were sitting on the steps of his back porch because her parents had been driving her crazy with restrictions since she had stopped taking her medication without any good reason and started hanging out with the likes of him.

she made the first move, something she's taken to since the bite, and he tries not to make a fool of himself by holding on to her like she's a life preserver in this ocean full of sharks.

/

the loneliness after she's gone is worse than the loneliness before the pack and so he throws himself into the small family that remain. he forms a stronger friendship with isaac and while he knows that as the alpha, derek is supposed to protect them, he also knows how strong the alpha pack is and that there is no way he could face them along so he comes up with a plan.

it doesn't go as well as they had all hoped, but while derek tries to push the blood back into him, boyd thinks he sees blonde curls and a leather jacket waiting for him and lets go.

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