Story: Worth It

Author: MizukiYukiko

Rated: T

Pairing: SasukeXSakura

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own Naruto.

Summary: When she first asked him if it was worth it, he told her, "Not yet." Now, so many years later, and now that he has her, he doesn't hesitate to say, "Yes."

Notes: This is a one-shot for the 50_shinobi themed challenge: #29 Leap of Faith. This story began as a narration in my head while I was at work and I needed to write it out. It may seem a little OOC to have Sasuke talking like this, but I wanted to do something from his perspective because there aren't a whole lot of stories that tell it from his POV. I thought this was sort of a different way to do it. Also, as you will see, he's changed a lot since his return to Konoha, all thanks to our Sakura.

I hope you like it.

Please review and tell me what you think!

Worth It

Karin was the one who got me to go back, out of all people. We were just barely eighteen and she just lost it on me one day. It was the first time that she had yelled at me. My face was impassive as usual, but I was actually very surprised. She told me that it wasn't the entire village that turned the back on my clan – it was three assholes who I've since disposed of. There were people in my village that cared about me and wanted me back, and I was lucky to have that "you egotistical, selfish jerk!"

Now that I reflect, I realize that Karin had lost her people and she was an orphan just like me. Maybe I was a little insensitive.

It was good that she had gotten over her obnoxious fascination with me, but the new, confident Karin was just as annoying. I blame it on her new-found relationship with the even more annoying Suigetsu. Tch. But I went back anyway, but I brought them with me.

After I returned, Tsunade forced me to go into counseling. She said that if I had been properly treated back then, then I wouldn't have gone crazy and abandon the village. I told her she was wrong, and she was, but I grit my teeth and went to that pointless counseling anyway because I had to. The shinobi counselor (because we don't call them therapists, never therapists) told me to write everything down. Everything. So I did.

I wrote about Itachi, my years away from Konoha, the war, Madara, and so much more.

That was years ago. I'm much older now, a hell of a lot wiser, and I'm man enough to admit that it helped. When Naruto found out it helped for me to "keep a cute little Sasu-chan diary," he bought me one for my birthday the next year. He was the Hokage at that point, and his face was incredibly serious when he thrust the small brown package into my hands.

"Seriously, teme, joking aside, if it helps, use it."

So I am. I didn't use it for a long time after Naruto gave me the book, but I'm old enough to realize now that it helps more than I was willing to admit when Naruto gave me the present.

But I'm not going to tell you about Itachi, my years away from Konoha, the war, or Madara. I'm going to tell you, little blue journal, about someone much more important than that: her.

Haruno Sakura.

The woman I'm in love with. I don't tell her that often, but she knows. I've told her a few times – on the night of our wedding, when she gave birth to all our children, on our twentieth wedding anniversary.

But it didn't all start out that way, but I'm going to tell you everything about her and more, even the dark things that I wasn't really willing to reflect on.

I had come up with a hundred excuses as to why I brought Suigetsu, Juugo, and Karin back with me. Juugo needed medical attention, and the Godaime Hokage was the greatest medic around. That was just one example – there were many others. But in reality, I didn't want to go back by myself. I didn't want to cross that threshold without some backup in case things went badly.

They did go badly but not in the way that I thought. Naruto was the first to greet us, along with a whole slew of ANBU, but Sakura was nowhere to be seen. At the time, it wasn't like I really cared that much. I didn't care until I saw her for the first time in three years. She stepped around an ANBU, an obviously strained smile on her face, and she said "Hello, Sasuke, Karin-san, Suigetsu-san, Juugo-san."

I was grouped in with them, like I was nothing special. I didn't know why at the time, but that infuriated me. I was Sasuke-kun. Her eyes never lingered over me for a mere fleeting glance before she went onto the next person. Naruto was pulling me into an overwhelming hug and dragging me towards the Hokage tower before I could even respond to her, not that I was going to. As we walked away, I saw her walking with Juugo towards the hospital.

In my life, things had been constant. I didn't like change. Naruto was still annoying. Kakashi was still perverted and read those ridiculous novels. And Sakura would always love me. She had told me as much once.

I guess things changed whether I wanted them to or not.

I watched her after that; well, after I got out of prison six months later and was put on probation ("For a long, long time, Uchiha. Until Naruto becomes Hokage or I decide I like you enough to take you off" said the Godaime). I wasn't allowed to leave the village and my chakra was blocked, so I watched her quietly.

She spent most of her time at the hospital. Juugo was her patient now, and Suigetsu and Karin told me she was helping him quite a bit. His urges weren't as bad now.

She was even more beautiful then I remembered. She had grown out of her teenage awkwardness, and it was difficult to tear my eyes away from her for more than a few moments. Her curves were more pronounced, her breasts bigger, her hips more shapely, legs long, smooth, and creamy, and her ass was a walking masterpiece. I was an eighteen-year-old, hot blooded male. I would have to be blind not to notice how beautiful she was (and still is).

I saw her on occasion – dinners with Naruto at Ichiraku, training sessions with Kakashi and Naruto, check-ups at the hospital, the Hokage tower. She was always polite, greeting me and nodding my way. But there was something deep within me that told me it wasn't enough. This was Sakura. Even three years before that, when we had fought the ten tails and Madara, she had been in love with me. She was always supposed to be in love with me. At the time, I didn't realize it was longing I was feeling. I didn't realize that I cared for her in that way.

Not until I found out she had a boyfriend, and a very serious one at that. A year after my return, I started hearing about this ANBU captain who was staying at the hospital. He had a nearly fatal run-in with a group of rogues. His injuries were severe enough to end his career as a shinobi. But in the process, the idiot had gone and fallen in love with his medic, Haruno Sakura. My Sakura.

Of course, I had no claim over her, but secretly, I was fuming. Once again, it wasn't until much later that I realized that I was jealous. It took a comment from Suigetsu to make me realize that I was jealous of the man who was now courting my former teammate.

A year later – I was twenty – rumors started to spread that they were engaged. I never believed rumors.

That is, until I got the wedding invitation in the mail.

I didn't go to the wedding. Well, not in the conventional sense. I sat on a tree outside the park where Sakura was the most beautiful bride – the perfect picture in a western styled gown, her pink locks curled into an elegant bun, the smallest bits of makeup accentuating her soft, heart-shaped face. I saw his happy face as his brown eyes shined with excitement, pride, and unadulterated love.

It was enough to make my gut twist and my teeth grind so hard that I struck a nerve. But I never said anything. Because who was I to ruin her happiness? I didn't deserve her. Sakura was a bright, glowing piece of sunlight that shined luminously on everyone around her. I was darkness. I was the blackest nights, the shadows on the worst streets. If we were together, I would only drag her down. I would taint her into something twisted, defeated, and impure – just like me.

Kakashi knew I was there, though, because after the proceedings, he jumped into the tree branch with me and patted me sympathetically on the shoulder.

"We don't realize what we had until it's gone."

One time when we were alone together, instances that were very rare, she asked me if it was all worth it.

All I could do was look at her, this woman who had me so completely without her or even me really knowing it, and I couldn't think of a proper response.

All I could tell her was, "Not yet."

I saw her a little more after that. She stopped taking as many missions outside of Konoha because she had taken over the hospital. Plus, Naruto was painfully close to becoming Hokage, and Sakura, having been the Godaime's apprentice and assistant, was helping him learn the position. We went to dinner a few times a week, all of us. Sometimes her husband would come with us. I ignored him, but I begrudgingly had to admit that he was a good guy. He was a gentleman, and he treated her well. Tch.

Slowly, I could say that we were becoming friends. My counseling sessions were going fairly well. I was learning how to be a normal human being, and I was learning emotions and how to interact with others. I was still reclusive, and I rarely talked, but things were getting better.

She got pregnant sometime after her twenty-first birthday.

With his child.

After she announced it, him by her side, to the entire group, I destroyed training ground 3.

I didn't see her for a while. Most of my time was filled with restarting the Konoha Military Police force. That way, I didn't have to think about her carrying his child.

I still did. Every day.

Sakura was beautiful pregnant. I saw her trying to carry home too many groceries about three months later, when she was just shy of six months pregnant. It was the first time I'd seen her since that night. And she was positively glowing. Her face was shining, and her rounded belly was protruding, but her smile was what made me nauseous. She was absolutely stunning, radiating happiness in its purist form.

She didn't even see me when I grabbed the bags from her hands, called her annoying, and began walking towards her house. He was at the academy. He had decided to become a teacher after he was forced to retire, so he couldn't help her with the grocery shopping, even though she shouldn't be carrying heavy things.

"Thanks, Sasuke," she said happily, falling in pace next to me. I just looked at her and allowed my lips to twitch up into a half-smile.

I can't even describe the male satisfaction I felt when she blushed.

I wasn't sure, but I think she still loved me, even then. I know it sounds selfish. It is selfish. But I was happy that she still loved me. It is possible to love two people at once, and she may love her husband, but she still loved me. That was important.

I was dragged to the hospital by a panicking Naruto when she went into labor. When we were allowed to see her, several hours later, she took my breath away. Her sweaty hair was matted to her neck, her eyes were tired, and she was drenched in a large hospital gown, but once again, she was glowing.

The small bundle in her arms, Sakiko, had cherry red hair (he had brown hair, so it made sense that their daughter be a mix between them) and foggy hazel eyes. She was pretty cute.

Sakura was beaming when I saw her with her small child-bundle three months later. That baby was her entire life, I realized, when she pushed the baby into my unsuspecting arms and told me to support the head. I was a bumbling fool when it came to children, but when I finally situated the small child in my arms, she reached up and grabbed a lock of my hair to play with (when had it gotten so long?).

Then, she smiled at me.

It was toothless and was accompanied by a shrill squeal of delight, but it made my entire insides turn to mush.

Just like her mother, she had me right then. All of me.

Sakura began to coo, almost as if she were going to cry. It was Saki-chan's first real smile, she told me. When I looked into her eyes and saw the fierce love that Sakura held for her baby girl, a visceral reaction coursed through me then.

Protectprotectprotect.

Sakiko was Sakura's most precious person and I would protect her with everything I had, even if it was just as an uncle figure or as her mother's sort-of friend. I knew this, with every fiber of who I was.

War tends to either begin in two ways – a slow creep of tension until someone makes a first move, or an explosive first strike that begins a barrage of attacks.

This war began with a mix of the two. We were having contentious relations with Kiri for a while now, so Tsunade sent over a group of shinobi, Sakura included, to spy on the enemy-nin. She had to leave Sakiko, now six months old, behind with her father. However, the attack that commenced two nights after Sakura left was brutal and explosive.

All I thought was "Sakiko!"

The house that Sakura shared with him and her daughter was in the first residential area to be attacked. So I bolted there first. Luckily, the Hokage had just recently given me my chakra back, or it would have taken me much longer to get to her house.

What I saw absolutely terrified me. Sakura's house was on fire. It was crumbling. I rushed into the burning wreckage to find something even more horrifying. He was lying under a burning piece of wall. Although he was still conscious, he wouldn't be for long. His femoral artery had been severed, I deduced from the amount of blood and the location it was pouring from.

He took one look at me and yelled, "Get Sakiko!"

I nodded and rushed up to her room. To Sakura's eternal credit, she had put a chakra barrier around her daughter's room for just this circumstance. I barged in and grabbed the screaming bundle, but unharmed bundle, and bolted out of the room. When I returned downstairs, her father was looking at me. He saw his daughter, now safe, smiled, and then let his head loll back.

He was dead.

After that, I gained a new respect for him. It was in his death that I saw what he had truly done for his family. He was dying, he knew he was dying, but he didn't allow himself to succumb to the darkness until he saw that his daughter was safe.

I ran from the house and found Ino at the hospital, now pregnant with her own child from the lazy genius. When she saw Sakiko in my arms, she burst out in tears instantly.

"I was so worried," she cried and grabbed the baby from my arms.

I told her not to tell Sakura that I was the one who saved the baby. She just rolled her eyes, told me I was in denial, but promised not to blab. I gained a little more respect for the gossip queen that day as well because even to this day, she has never told Sakura that it was me who went out of my way to save Sakiko.

The war ended quickly. Kiri was no match for us.

When Sakura returned, she mourned the death of her husband, but celebrated the life of her child. I was there for every tear. Very quickly, I became her shoulder, her support. I was only too happy to do so (even if I never really smiled).

I spent more time with her and her little family now that he wasn't around. Saki-chan needed a father figure.

Sakura began to smile more; her laughter became a little more genuine. It was satisfying to have her slowly become happier, even though it took a long time.

Four months later, Saki-chan took her first steps.

And I was there.

Even better, when she left Sakura's hands with her tentative footsteps, she was walking towards me.

Saki-chan's first words made Sakura cry for all the wrong reasons.

The little girl, with a mop of cherry hair, looked at me and smiled, her teeth poking through her soft pink gums.

"Dada!" she wailed, pointing at me. I don't know who taught her that word because we had been working on "Mama" the entire day.

Sakura stood up and walked out of the room without saying a word, but I saw the tears streaming down her face. Determinedly, we began to work on saying a different word, but I didn't correct her for calling me Dada. Somewhere deep within, I liked it. .

By the time she returned from her mini-meltdown, Saki-chan was able to point to her and yell, "Mama!"

This time, Sakura cried for all the right reasons.

Just after Saki's second birthday, I went over to Sakura's house to visit. However, Sakura wasn't there. Ino was, with her own small child plastered to her hip. She informed me that she was babysitting Sakiko so that Sakura could go on a date. With a civilian.

To say that I was infuriated would be an understatement. Ino just gave me this knowing look when I stalked off towards town.

I found them sitting at a small restaurant. I grabbed Sakura by her arm, yanked her out of the restaurant, and pulled her into a secluded street. By the time I turned to face her, she was absolutely infuriated.

"Sasuke-kun, how dare you?!" she hollered. I froze. She froze. That was the first time since I got back that she called me Sasuke-kun. But I was still very, very angry.

"What will it take for you to notice me?" I hollered back. "I've been there. Not him," I continued to shout, gesturing wildly towards the restaurant that I had just pulled her out of. "I was there for you when he died, I've been there for you and Saki-chan, and I always will. How could you go on a date with him when I've been waiting for five damned years?!"

She just stared at me, mouth agape, when I finished my rant/confession. I later found it ironic. For our entire childhood, she had worked to get my attention, and now I was begging for hers.

But I didn't even let her respond. I grabbed her chin roughly and angled it better, slanting my mouth over hers in a fierce kiss. There weren't fireworks, like Naruto had said he had with Hinata, but there was this overwhelming feeling of home.

There was this silent sigh in the wind, and Sakura felt it too, I know.

Finally.

When we returned back to her house, Ino and the kids were gone. She left a note saying that she would take Saki-chan for the night.

That's when I realized that making love to Sakura was even better than kissing her.

Finally.

We got married two years later. Sakura was even more beautiful when she was walking down the aisle towards me. It took my breath away.

It took me a while to get used to Sakura sleeping in bed with me. It was amazing to have her there, but it horrified me at the same time. She didn't know about the nightmares.

But when I woke up to her calming voice telling me it was going to be okay, her hand gently stroking my sweaty hair out of my face, I believed her.

After that, the nightmares were fewer and further between.

One day about two years after we were married, I walked into our house after a long day at the KMP Headquarters. I was sweaty and tired and grumpy, but the promising smell of dinner greeted me and I couldn't help but allow a smirk to play on my lips. Saki was the first to meet me, running towards me and throwing her arms around me. I hoisted her up with one hand, the other dropping my bag full of paperwork, and swung her around in a way that made her laugh heartily (because I was a hundred times better at being human now). It wasn't until I set her down that I saw the shirt that the six-year-old was wearing.

"World's best big sister"

It took me a moment to realize what it meant, and I had to read it a few times. Saki knew what it meant, though, and she was smiling. She had been begging for a sibling since Sakura and I married. My head jerked up and Sakura was standing in the doorway, a small smile on her face. Her hand was over her stomach and she was nodding. I walked past Saki and embraced my wife in a bear hug. I clutched at her strongly, cradling her desperately in my arms. She just laughed, and I could feel the tears of joy rolling down her cheeks and pooling onto my neck.

It wasn't until later, when I had gone into the bathroom to change and saw my eyes were all red and puffy, that I realized that some of those tears were mine.

Sakura was even more beautiful when she was pregnant with my child.

Uchiha Sayuri was born with black hair and even blacker eyes. She looked just like me. I couldn't have been happier.

Two years after that, Uchiha Shuichi was born. His hair was pink and his eyes were bright green. Sakura couldn't have been happier.

Luckily, a few months later, his hair darkened to the same shade as Sakiko's. His older sister couldn't have been happier.

Sayuri's Sharingan manifested when she was seven during a training session with her older sister. Oddly enough, her younger brother's showed up just a few months later. He teased his sister that his had shown up when he was younger, and that meant that he was stronger. Her katon burned down part of the kitchen wall.

Life was going to get a lot more interesting.

Even though she wasn't an Uchiha, Sakiko was still a fire type. Even now that they are all adults, her katon is still the biggest.

The first and only time that Sakiko had used the "You're not my real father!" line was when she was fifteen. Never mind that she was already a jounin and well on her way to becoming one of the youngest ANBU operatives Konoha had seen since her uncle Itachi, and her medical career was even more advanced than her mother's at that age.

She was still too young to date.

Sakura didn't seem to think so, but I didn't trust the young Hyuuga, Neji's son of all people, who had asked her on a date. I told her as much and forbade her from seeing him when she screamed that line at me and slammed the door in my face. Tch. Teenagers.

Sakura went on a rampage. This time, Sakiko was grounded from her date for her insolence, not became she was too young.

She went on her date, after a long discussion with me and her mother, a week later. She also promised me that I was her Otou-san even though I wasn't biologically her father. Two months later, she legally changed her last name to Uchiha without me and her mother knowing.

There was this innate feeling of pride that swelled up within me.

I was worried that she would have offended Sakura, but my wife assured me that she was happy that her oldest daughter now had my last name.

It didn't last long, though. Two years after that, I found a young Hyuuga male, dark brown hair falling to his shoulders, sitting in my living room in a pool of his own sweat. He was shaking. To his eternal credit, though, his voice was unwavering when he spoke to me respectfully. He asked me for my daughter's hand in marriage.

I gave it to him.

They waited to get married, though, until she was twenty. I walked her down the aisle, and she was even more beautiful than her mother. Her wedding was also Sayuri's first date with one Uzumaki Minato. I had to wonder if their children will possess the Sharingan or the Byakugan. Neji and I had a pool going.

(Several years later, I won.)

Our children are all older now. I'm a grandfather at the ripe age of fifty. I suppose I look the part. My hair is thinner and it is graying at the ends. Sakura's is going gray too, but it isn't as obvious because she keeps her light hair short.

I'm retired. She's not. I don't think she ever will.

I spend most days looking after my grandchildren. The Uchiha compound is full of life once again.

And now my life's goal had been fulfilled.

Coming back here had been a leap of faith in so many ways. It had been a leap of faith that I wouldn't be executed. It had been a leap of faith that day that I kissed Sakura on that secluded street. It had been a leap of faith when I asked her to marry me. Having children of my own had been a leap in itself. I was barely ready to be a father, even though I had been to Saki-chan for years, when Sayuri was born, but I think I've done alright.

So now, many years later, as we sit on the porch and watch our grandchildren running around our yard, she asks me if it was all worth it.

I don't hesitate when I say "Yes."

AN: Your reviews fuel the writing. So please tell me what you think!