A/N: Hi! This is my first Jam fan fiction. Please let me know what you think. If it sucks, let me know. Help me out! Thanks.
Today Jim was having a bad day. Every day was basically a bad day, just because of the fact that he had to sit only feet away from the love of his life; the love of his life that was engaged. But, today was worse. He knew he would have to go into work and watch Pam plan her wedding with Roy. To him, seeing Pam everyday and not being able to have her was like having wings but being forbidden to fly. Every time he looked down at her ring while they laughed together his heart plunged to his feet and he became completely hollow in his chest. And today he didn't want that. He just wanted her.
Jim sat at his desk shuffling through papers while listening to Pam talk on the phone. He noted for the millionth time how sweet and pure her voice was. She hung up and whispered his name. Jim looked up from his desk. "Come here!" She whispered. Jim had planned that today he would focus on work and not go up to her desk. He thought that maybe it would help him keep his mind off her. All it really did was make him think about her more. He was dying to see her smile, to listen to her talk about random things, and to plan their next miraculous prank on Dwight. Jim looked up at the clock. 11:18. Well, I've made it this far. It wouldn't hurt to talk to her. Except that deep down he knew it would only tear away another layer of his heart.
"Hey." He leaned against her desk.
"What's up? You haven't talked to me today."
"I've just been busy." He lied and she saw right through him.
"That's never stopped you before." Her eyebrows knitted together trying to figure him out.
So, she wanted to talk to me? "Oh, you know I'm just here for the candy, right?" He sarcastically tried to steer the conversation in a different way.
"Oh, right." She nodded. "I got new jelly beans. Try them." She smiled.
Jim popped a green one in his mouth and immediately scrunched his face. "Um, It's…it's good." He struggled.
Pam bit her lip trying not to laugh. She had gotten the gag pack, with flavors such as booger, puke, and dirt. But, she wasn't going to tell him that yet. Was he actually trying not to hurt my feelings? Even if I did get regular candy and he didn't like it, I honestly wouldn't mind. Pam thought. Hmm. Time to mess with him.
"Oh, that's good! Try the yellow. I think that's my favorite." Pam new yellow was ear wax flavored.
Jim hesitated but grabbed a yellow anyways. He chewed it and swallowed fast. And after 3 other ones Pam made him try he finally asked "Pam, what flavor are these?"
"Well, I know yellow is ear wax and green might be grass? Oh, and pink is definitely puke." Pam burst into giggles as Jim gave her the look, did you really just do that to me? She handed him the package showing what each flavor was.
"So, which one was your favorite?" Pam beamed.
"Honestly, I've had better puke. C'mon, Pam you're slacking on your candy choice."
Pam couldn't stop laughing and Jim would never stop admiring the way her lips curled into the perfect smile.
"Well, I'm glad you like them."
"Oh, but you know I'll be getting revenge."
"What! No, Jim, you know that's not fair. Your pranking skills are so much better than mine!"
"Oh! Wow! Thank you! I'll never let you forget what you just admitted. But, what? Are you saying you're scared of me?"
Jim wasn't going to prank her, and if he did it surely wouldn't be as extreme as some of the stuff he had done to Dwight. He just liked seeing Pam scared.
"What! No, I'm scared of what you might do to me! I've seen the pranks you've done on Dwight. Please!" She placed her hands on top of his helping with her plea. Jim gulped and dared not to look down at her hands. He didn't want to see what he knew was there. The ring was only a painful reminder that he couldn't have her. He had forgotten about her being engaged for the moments they were talking. Something very hard to forget, but with her charm, everything else in his mind got thrown in the recycle bin. The sensation that was brought from her warm soft hands made him forget what she had just asked. Was it even a question?
"Jim?" Pam came into focus and he mentally kicked himself for doing this again. Every time she playfully touched him his brain shut down.
"Oh, uh…" he racked his brain. Jelly beans? Dwight? What had she said?
"Jimbo! Pamela!" Michael sang from behind. Good, distraction.
Jim felt Pam's hands slowly pull away from his. Oh, shit. Did Michael see that?
"What are you guys working on? Oh, wait! Oh! Did I interrupt something?" Michael asked awkwardly then whispered to him just loud enough that Pam heard. "Did you tell her?"
"Oh, uh, Michael. Nope. No. No. Just working on, um…" Jim frantically searched his brain for something to say.
"Oooh! Okay, I got ya." Michael laughed and walked over to accounting assuming that Jim was telling Pam how he felt.
"What was all that about?" Pam looked over at Jim.
"I, uh." Pull it together. Talk like a human. "Well, it's Michael. You never know with him." He laughed awkwardly.
"Tell me what though?"
"What!?" Jim answered suspiciously quickly.
"What did Michael mean when he asked if you had told me?"
"Um, I don't know." He shrugged and pretended to straighten his tie. "Uh, listen; I have work to do. But don't forget that I'm getting revenge!" He mentally high fived himself for a semi smooth recovery and beamed at her. Pam didn't return the smile. What was he hiding? She pondered as he strolled back to his desk.
Jim held his head in his hands. He knew he should have just made up an excuse on why he couldn't talk to her. Every time he went to reception Roy ended up calling or worse coming through the door, or something would happen like Michael just did. He peeked over at her. She was typing on her computer. Little did he know she was stealing glances at him as well. He figured Roy would be up here soon to help wedding planning and to eat lunch with her so he got up and headed towards the kitchen. Would life be better or worse if I worked in the annex?
Pam looked up from her desk for the sixth time. "Pammy, what are you look at?" Roy asked grabbing her chin and turned her to face him. He was usually the one who was distracted while they had conversations, now it was her. Where was Jim? He's been gone for a long time.
"Uh, nothing." She lied. "So do you like these?" She continued.
"Um, yeah. I mean they're just invitations, right?" he laughed to show he was joking. But Pam knew he was being serious.
She couldn't help but wonder how Jim would participate in wedding planning. He'd be interested in everything. Not just what band we got like Roy did. Jim would make wedding planning so stress free. He would always lighten the mood if I needed him too. Wait, you're not marrying Jim. Stop thinking like that. Where was he though?
"Yeah, um, I still have work to do. We can finish these later. So, I'll see you at 5?" Pam wanted him to leave. She literally wanted her own fiancé to leave so that she could go find Jim. She thought about how she had never, not once, wanted Jim to leave. She could talk to him for hours.
"Okay. See ya." He kissed her on the lips and left.
Pam shuffled the deck of invitations and placed them aside. She peered through the kitchen window; still no sign of Jim. She got up and traveled to the break room where she found him eating lunch.
"Hey. You've been in here for a while."
He looked up and shut his phone. "Oh yeah." But what Jim really wished to say was, "I didn't want to watch you and Roy plan your wedding because I'm in love with you and I wish it was our wedding we were planning."
"Let me grab my lunch. We can eat together."
She came back and chose the seat that was closer to him instead of the one in front of him, like she usually did. He looked surprised, and that gave Pam an odd feeling in her stomach. Not butterflies, was it? She couldn't remember the last time Roy had given her butterflies.
"So why didn't you eat with Roy?"
"He was busy." She lied. "Because I was worried about you?"
"So have you come up with a prank to play on me?" she smirked.
"Yes, actually, I've been making a list on my phone." He wasn't lying. He had been making a list. Just not pranks to play on her.
"What? Let me see it!" Pam reached across the table knocking over Jim's container of carrots. They both ignored it. She clutched the phone just as he took her hand.
"Ah ah ah!" He grinned.
"Give it." she whispered.
"That's not how it works, Beesly."
"Fine." She said. Jim suspiciously looked at her. She'd never give up that easy? He let go of her assuming she was upset. She swiftly snatched the phone and jumped out of her seat. Pam scrolled through the menu to find Notepad.
"Pam!" He stood up and tried to steal the phone back. "Pam, please give it back. There's no list! I was kidding!" No, she can't see what I had been writing. Shit. Pam looked through to find a prank list, but instead found one titled "Reasons Why I Love Pam" Her heart sank. Had she read that right? Jim grabbed at her waist to catch her but she was too fast and spun around the table while clicking the note. She skimmed at it and found that he had 38 reasons. Pam quickly exited just as he stole it back from her.
She locked eyes with his while tears started to form. Oh, god. Not me Pam, another Pam. It had to be. Why does my heart hurt so much? Pam tried to catch her breath but couldn't seem to find where all her oxygen had gone. Was that why he had been gone so long? He was making a list. He loves me? Why can't I breathe?
"Pam!" Jim became worried. "Are you alright?" Pam's face lost all color, leaving her looking lifeless.
And in that moment, Pam felt a feeling that Roy had never given her before; a feeling he would never be able to give her. A feeling so strong and so scary she thought she might faint from dizziness. And she did.
"Pam!" Jim yelled as he ran to catch her in his arms. "Oh, god. Toby!" Jim yelled.
"Hey, what's going o-oh! Oh!"
"Call someone! Call Roy!" Jim hated the idea of Roy being superman and swooping in saving the fainting girl, but he was her fiancé. They had to contact him. Toby ran back to his desk.
What the hell am I supposed to do? Jim had never been in this kind of situation before. He calmly laid her down on the floor and made sure she was breathing. She was. He grabbed the water bottle from his lunch and threw the cap across the floor. He drenched her face and knelt beside her on the wet floor. "Pam? Can you hear me?" Oh gosh, Pam. You have to stay with me. Don't you dare stop breathing. Jim had never been so scared in his life. The thought of sitting at his desk and looking up to some new receptionist was the worst thought his brain would ever be capable of coming up with.
Roy barged in, followed by others from the office that were curious to the commotion.
"PAM!?" he bellowed and pushed Jim out of the way, knocking him on his side.
"Pam! What the hell happened, Halpert!?" Roy looked fiercely over at him.
"She..we.." He couldn't talk because his brain still couldn't grasp the whole situation. "We were standing up and she just..just went pale! She fainted!"
"OH GOD. PAM." Michael came in crying. "DON'T DIE. YOU'RE ONE OF THE ONLY HOT ONES HERE." He yelled.
"Okay, everybody just needs to calm down! Someone call 911." Jim protested.
Pam's eyes fluttered open. "Jim?" Pam whispered.
"No! It's me; your damn fiancé." Roy shouted.
And that's when Jim lost it. How in the world is she marrying him? If you weren't such a jerk, maybe you would have been here when she fainted. Don't fucking yell at Pam! She just woke up from fainting. It took all the strength Jim had to not punch Roy in the throat.
"Roy, please stop yelling." Pam rubbed her forehead while frowning. "My head hurts."
Pam propped herself on her elbows. "Jim, what happened?"
Jim couldn't help but notice how her wet shirt clung to her curves and her breasts. He found it difficult to come up with an answer.
"Um…" he cleared his throat. "I, um, I got my phone back from you and then you just went pale. You looked at me like you were scared. And before I knew it, you fainted."
"Come here, Pammy." Roy lifted her to her feet. "Let's get you home." Roy gripped at her arm.
"Well, don't you think you need to take her to the hospital; make sure she's okay?" Jim questioned.
"She'll be just fine. I got her." Roy spat.
"Thank god, Pam! We all thought you were going to die!" Michael said.
Roy shuffled her past everyone, gathered her things at reception, and left, leaving the whole office in rumors and stares towards Jim.
After collecting both their lunches, and cleaning up the water on the floor, Jim sat back down at his desk. He knew he'd not get any more work done. All he wanted was for him to take Pam home or to the hospital and care for her. What did she see in that guy anyways? She deserved much more. Did she see the note? What else would make her faint? Is she okay? Yeah. She's in the good and loving hands of Roy. She's perfect, he sarcastically thought. Gosh, the way her shirt clung to her. He'd never be able to get that picture out of his head.