Disclaimer: I do not own the following, only pull on their strings and make them dance

A/N: New story – would love some reviews to make sure I'm writing something you all want to read

Chapter One

Remus Lupin was just sitting there, minding his own damn business when he walked in. Well, stumbled in might have been a more accurate description. Or maybe pushed, or forced. No, no, not really. The first one was true. Honestly, no more lies. Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, some stranger stumbling into the compartment on the train with some blonde thing glued to his face. Apparently completely and utterly oblivious of Remus' presence. Poor Remus.

"Ahem." said testy werewolf snapped irritably. He was, you see, already in a bad mood, what with him forgetting to bring his chocolate brownies for the tedious journey up to Scotland. Not to mention, they'd interrupted an intense part of his romance novel, which was just asking for a beating.

So, for someone to just burst into his compartment whilst performing some kind of gymnastic act as they fell back onto the opposite bench was simply asking to be murdered. Slowly. Messily. Perhaps with the old spoon perched up on the luggage rack with some sort of mysterious purple gloop dried on the end. Yeah, that sounded like a horrific enough way to go. Then again, maybe he'd just beat the man with his belt. Yeah, much more hygienic. No knowing what sort of diseases were on that thing up there.

At the sound of someone else in the compartment, the man and the blonde leech both looked up, staring at him. Her hand was still there and his was still somewhere out of sight, so Remus assumed they needed a bigger hint. His fingers twitch towards his belt. Calm, Lupin, calm. It's only the first day of term. Don't start off your first year with two murders under your belt (heh heh), before you've even arrived at Hogwarts.

"This compartment is taken." Remus notified them, even though he had assumed that they had already known that, seeing as he wasn't bloody invisible last time he'd checked. The two across from him sat up and untangled various limbs. The man shrugged, wearing a wide grin that made Remus want to jump on him and claw his face off. Or maybe jump on him and do something a bit more pleasurable…

Damn it, Lupin, just act normal for once in your sorry life!

"Sorry, mate," the smug man across from him chuckled, "Didn't see you there. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Remus sighed as the man took the leech under his arm and led her out to find a compartment that was actually empty. Even more infuriating than the interruption of a deliciously steamy scene in the latest of the Love Charm series, was the fact that they hadn't closed the door. He sighed heavily, leaning back against the window and pulling his feet up under him and opening his book again, studiously ignoring the gaping space where the door should be. If he ignored it, he could at least pretend that everything everyone did, didn't grate on his bloody nerves.

It wasn't that he was always this irate. No, it was more that he was just nervous about his first year, his first day. Once he had settled in, he would calm down – he bloody well hoped so, or there would be students walking around headless with the initials R.J.L. carved into their severed necks. With that pleasant image, Remus delved back into his book and hoped the rest of the journey would pass quickly – he was known to get train sick.

Of course, it would be his luck that three people stumbled into the compartment only a moment later. Remus looked up, quickly swinging his legs off the bench before one of the intruders sat down heavily in the place where his knees had just been, laughing a loud, barking laugh along with the other two. Remus did a double take and realised that the man who had almost broken his bloody legs was the idiot who had come in before with the blonde woman. He wasn't exactly someone you could forget all that easily, what with his sharp, striking features and his long, black hair. Not to mention that charming, easy smile he was directing at Remus right now that made his heart jump.

Leave it, Lupin, he told himself quickly, the guy's straight. Don't bother.

"Sorry about earlier," the man said, holding out a hand, "Sirius Black. Hope you don't mind us intruding, there aren't any other compartments."

"Not at all." Remus shrugged, shaking Black's hand and hoping he didn't sound sarcastic. The other two stuck their hands out, too, introducing themselves. The other man introduced himself as James Potter. He had a friendly, laughing smile, glasses and a shock of messy hair. The woman, with beautiful red hair and intelligent green eyes, presented herself as Lily Potter. Remus assumed the pair to be married. He introduced himself as Remus Lupin, taking Lily's hand, after Potter's.

"You're the new Defence teacher." Black guessed, nodding when Remus did, "I'm the other one."

Remus nodded, suppressing a sigh that he would be working with the hottest straight guy he had ever laid his eyes upon. "Why is it they really wanted two teachers for the same subject?" he asked drily, pretending that the man next to him wasn't going to prove himself a distraction for the whole year.

"To teach it better," Lily answered confidently, "So you can demonstrate properly."

"Great." Black grinned. Remus smothered a groan – the last thing he would consider great would be getting his arse kicked in front of a class full of sarcastic teenagers.

"Nah," Potter scoffed, "It's just 'cause no one's been able to hold the post for longer than a year. Maybe they think hiring two will break the curse. Or maybe, when one buggers off, the other will stay and they'll save fees looking for someone else this year."

"So it's your first year, too?" Remus asked Black, not quite ready for the dazzling smile sent his way. Damn it, Lupin. Do I have to kick your arse again? No crushes on straight men!

"Nah, I taught flying and refereed the Quidditch for the last few years." Black shrugged, "Dumbledore approached me for the post when the last Defence teacher left. He told me there'd be another teacher as well, but not why."

"You don't get split pay, do you?" Potter asked, horrified.

"You don't ask people about money!" Lily scolded, hitting Potter on the arm lightly.

"No, thank Merlin," Black laughed.

"So what are you all doing on the train with the students?" Remus asked, putting his book aside now that he was curious enough of his seemingly friendly colleagues enough to converse politely.

"Teacher's conference in London this morning before we left." Potter grimaced, "So a few of the staff decided to relive their youths and take the Hogwarts Express up. I wonder when the lunch lady's coming…"

"Why are you on the train?" Black asked as Lily slapped Potter again.

"Magical transportation makes me ill." Remus shrugged, "Except brooms, but it's not bloody likely that I'd ride all the way up to Scotland on one."

"Good call." Black laughed. Remus smiled back, mentally giving his skipping heart a hearty (hearty, heh), kick for it's troubles. Straight, straight, straight, straight. He was going to have to think like a straight man. That was all he could do. He was, after all, bisexual, so that shouldn't be too difficult. Right, he thought sourly, not too difficult when the epitome of sex is sitting right next to you and will be helping you teach classes.

"Who was the blonde?" Remus asked casually once the compartment had lulled into quiet. He kicked himself internally again, hoping he caused himself figurative internal bleeding for the stupid question. He only thought his intentions weren't obvious. Of course they're not, he reminded himself, no one here knows you like men as well as women. Well, unless he gave them huge stonking hints like staring at Black, which he realised he was doing right that moment.

"Madam Rosmerta." Lily smirked, "Head chef at Hogwarts. She's got a thing for our Sirius, but he doesn't have a thing for her. Unless it involves sticking his tongue, and other things, down her throat without having to make a commitment."

Remus frowned, "I thought the house elves would cook." He said uncertainly, trying desperately to ignore the image of Black sticking things in places that had nothing to do with Madam Rosmerta. "Oh, the new legislation. It stopped house elves being used for mass labour, right?"

"Like cooking and cleaning for as many people as there are at Hogwarts, yes." Lily confirmed, "The ones in private households should be paid, now, too, and given holidays et cetera, et cetera."

"Some clueless muggleborn passed it," James muttered. He caught his wife's hot glare and added quickly, "Nothing against muggleborns, it's just that she obviously didn't have enough experience or knowledge to understand that house elves don't like freedom. Inkie was a right state when she heard – slammed her hands in the door so hard, it took us ages to heal her up."

"So now…witches and wizards do all of that?" Remus asked, confused.

"Yep." Black shrugged, before his gaze turned dark, "Why? You think wizards are too high and mighty to do their own shit?"

"What?" Remus stuttered, surprise by Black's sudden mood swing, "Erm, no. I'm just surprised that the big shot purebloods in the Ministry let the legislation go through."

"Oh. Good." Black dropped the glare and smiled again, "What you got against purebloods, Lupin? I believe the Lupins are one of the country's oldest families?"

"As are the Blacks and the Potters." Remus pointed out, letting them know he hadn't missed their names and the importance of them, "I've got nothing against purebloods long as they keep their bigoted opinions to themselves."

"Hear, hear!" Potter laughed, holding up a hand up for Remus to high five, "So, Lupin – or can I call you Remus? Much less formal. Cool. So, Remus, why is it that we didn't see you around Hogwarts in the days of our youth?"

"You look our age." Lily added.

"My mother had me home schooled," Remus shrugged, propping his foot up on the bench opposite beside Lily, "Crazy bitch didn't think any school would be good enough for her precious only child to go to."

"Bet that was hell," Sirius chuckled, shaking his head, "The only good parts of my childhood were when I was at Hogwarts. Although, I do sympathise. My mother – she's a crazy bitch, too – wanted me home-schooled, but I was lucky enough to have my Uncle Alphard on my side. Only sane one in the family, I swear. Except me, of course."

"Right." Lily snorted, earning a playful kick from Sirius.

"Alphard owns the Three Broomsticks, by the way." James told Remus helpfully, "If you turn up with Sirius, you get free drinks."

"I'll remember that." Remus grinned and then nodded to the door of the compartment, "Looks like the trolley's here."

Sirius and James leapt up like a couple of kids, money in hand, flinging the door open. Lily caught Remus' eye and shook her head with a fond smile. Remus hoped that everyone at Hogwarts would be as friendly. Oh, yeah. And he hoped that Sirius Black wouldn't tempt him enough to bloody jump him.

A/N: So, what did you think? I had fun writing for a Remus who was moody due to lack-of-chocolate-brownies ^-^ If I do end up writing this with the intention of finishing it, it's gonna be a long one, just to warn ya :) oh and it probably won't be update as often as my other ones have been, since it hasn't all been written up already :P but anyway, I'm going to just shut up now and go eat some scones, because I'm British and I like them with jam and, most importantly, it's lunch time. R&R! (if you do, you get a scone with jam and cream! yum yum :D if you don't want a scone I can get you some pancakes. Honestly, I'm a wizard at making pancakes). Anywho, really going now...