(A/N: …I…I don't even really know what to say here. *scratches back of head awkwardly* Um…yeah. Here's a new story. Well…semi-story. It's a collection of One-Shots, actually. Umm…yeah.

This story is dedicated to my friend, Ujvari. His/Her PMs were what really inspired me to write this, so blame him/her. XD

Uhhhh…well, the only thing I feel needs to be made blatantly, painfully clear is that this story is rated for a reason. There will be EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT and REFERENCE, as well as SWEARING.So if you're uncomfortable with these things, you…are probably not going to be this story's biggest fan.

Oh, and you know that whole bit where I've never written a full explicit scene before? Heh…heh…well, that's still true, so bear with me on this, okay? I'm doing my best and I'm learning, so if you have advice, please be a kind soul and drop it in a review.

Alright…well, here's hoping that someone out there somewhere likes this.)

I've known that I've been on my way to hell for a long time. Ever since I understood exactly whose blood flows in my veins.

Ace tipped his head back, making a sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan.

So I've resolved to live my life to the fullest. No regrets. So that when I am rotting away in the Pit, I'll at least have some damn good memories to look back on.

A hot mouth sucked at his neck, hands wandering over his chest and back.

That's…probably the only reason I don't find myself disgustingly immoral.

Ace felt a second set of hands working at his belt.

That's right. A second set of hands. Like I said: immoral? Maybe. In fact, definitely. But hey, I don't regret it for an instant.

Ace's back arched as fingers trailed up his inner thighs, the other person's mouth and hands still working on his chest and neck.

My name is Portgas D. Ace, Second Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates.

He dragged up the head previously at his neck, kissing desperately, silently begging for release.

For…well, I don't really know how long now, I've been in love with Marco the Phoenix and Thatch, First and Fourth Division Commanders respectively. And yes, I am 'with' both of them.

A tongue forced its way into his mouth, ravishing him.

They're just about the polar opposites of each other, but I love them both equally. Thatch, passionate, excitable, magnetic. He's like a Spanish tango to Marco's Viennese waltz. Marco, reserved, charismatic, elegant. But damn when he gets kinky…

Their lips parted, and instantly the other was back at his chest, rubbing and sucking. Ace shivered and whimpered.

…Thatch would probably vehemently deny it, but Marco's bigger too.

"Just do it already!" Ace gasped as the mouth sucked on his nipple, hard.

There's no animosity between the two, though. They, all three of us, really, are still the best of friends. Just because…other things fill our time when we're alone with each other hasn't changed our relationship.

"Do what, Ace?" The amorous whisper was just beside his ear, the hot breath sending shivers down his spine. He gasped and moaned as they licked gently at the shell, then sucked the lobe. "If you want something, you're going to have to ask for it."

Thatch and Marco aren't jealous of each other. They know I love them both. But they compete for my affection. Whoever is the more…'convincing' gets me for the night, after all.

"P-Please… just…Ah!" Ace's words cut off in a throaty moan as a hand ghosted along his member.

"Just what?" A voice asked teasingly, desire plain in every word.

The crew doesn't know. We're not exactly keen on telling them. Don't know how they'd react, and hell if I'll stop just because people disapprove. But I don't want to have to leave the crew, either. So it's our secret.

"Please just fuck me already!" Ace gasped out, needing relief, release, anything. A dark chuckle hit his ears, and a different pair of lips quirked up in a smirk.

Yup. I've been on my way to hell since the day I was born.

"Your wish is our command."

But I'll be damned if I'm not going to have fun on my way down.

(A/N: QnQ oh dear Lord what did I just write. I hope that looks better to you guys than it does to me. I tried. I really, really tried. QnQ

Sooooo…yeah. Ummm…yeah.

Fun fact: as well as Ujvari's PMs, I was also inspired (and listened to while writing) Marianas Trench's Truth or Dare. It's a good song, and it's kind of the theme song of this fic. You should look it up.

This story will be updated…occasionally. Probably infrequently. I'll write when inspiration strikes. At the top of every chapter I'll post which pairing it is, so if you're unfond of either, feel free to skip the ones that you don't like. If you have an idea for a chapter, write it in a review or PM me. If it inspires me, it'll get written. C: Oh, and the chapters are probably going to be a whole lot longer than this. This is just the prologue, so it's short and simple. Chapters will probably be upwards of 3000 words, depending.

So…umm…I guess all I can say is I hope you didn't hate it. ^u^; Please review with any criticism, praise or anything. I really need to know how this was so I can possibly maybe get less awful at it. Thanks!

-Stuff'nStuff)