Author's Note: It's been a good while since I've written NCIS fanfiction but I have to write to help my heart heal with this whole Cote thing. It's unbelievably, ridiculously, absurdly short but regardless I've decided to post this story. Hope you like it!

Enjoy!

She left. She's really gone this time. It's a little bit easier to digest knowing it was her choice and that she is at least safe. But it still hurts. There's something missing; a piece of the NCIS puzzle is gone. And try as they might, the team can't fill the empty space. Her desk is still there across from Tony's but she's not there. Her plants, her folders, her pends and her flags aren't there. She gave him one of her flags before she left, it sits in his pen cup proudly proclaiming Tony's soft spot for Israel. Or at least for an Israeli. But it's not the same.

He misses her. Which is ridiculous because they still talk every now and then. Mostly emails and postcards. Lots of postcards. She sends him one from every new place she visits and he keeps them all, tacks them to his fridge and all over his desk.

She's traveling. She's finally sight-seeing on her own terms and satisfying her inner childish wanderlust. A lot of the places she's going are places she's been before only this time her only mission is to find Abby the best souvenir. She sends them straight to the lab along with a postcard for Tony and a letter for McGee. It's not enough but it's all that she can do.

She wants this. It hurts but it's for the best. It's what she wants- what Eli wanted. NCIS was a great time in her life, one she'll never forget or regret, but it's time for her to love life not just live it. It's time to do all the things she couldn't before. It's Ziva's time to grow fat and old and blissfully happy, the way she used to feel guilty for wanting.

Tony understands. He believes her when she says it's for the best, wants this for her too; but he wants to be there with her. Tony wants to hop from flight to flight, boat to boat and train to train alongside her. The pictures she sends are just of things- building, walls, skies. None of them have people, none of them have life.

Except for one. She sent it to Gibbs last week, the only thing she's sent him since she started traveling. Though Gibbs isn't angry she left, Ziva still doesn't know how to talk to him without feeling guilty for making the team's temporary resignation permanent. So instead she sent him the only picture she took of herself during her travels. Off the coast of Saint-Tropez she found a boat called the S.S. Gibbson. She strategically aimed the photo so she was in front of "on" and all the viewer saw S.S. Gibbs. She took the photo once then decided she looked too serious so she took it again, this time making a fishy face. Gibbs pinned it to his desk as a casual reminder that no matter where she went she'd always be apart of their team.

They replaced her. Tried filling the void, really, but everyone knew Agent Torres was just a temp. No one was meant for that desk except for Ziva David. Everyone realized they'd have to fill it eventually, if just because Vance would soon insist they do so, but they were taking their time. Agent after agent floated through the bullpen trying to take Ziva's place and failing miserably. Tony didn't even bother giving them a hard time- they weren't even worth his jokes.

She's irreplaceable. No matter what, no matter how hard they tried, Ziva would always be on team Gibbs. No one could take her place. But she didn't want that place anymore, didn't want that desk anymore. So they finally got someone to take it. Agent Morrison is a damn good agent. She does the work she's told to do and then some. Gibbs really likes her and McGee shares a geekly bond with her. But Tony doesn't talk to her much. He keeps his distance , keeping her at a very professional arms length.

It's self preservation. He can't open himself up the way he did for her. Maybe because it took them so long to get to this point, maybe because she's the only one to try so hard, doesn't matter. What matters is the only woman to ever change Tony DiNozzo isn't here anymore. She left.