Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Castle.

[No Spoilers in reviews please...]

A/N: So I was trying to write the beginning of a multi-chapter story idea, and then I got bits if this. It will absolutely not work for what I had in mind, so I tweaked it a little, and now it's sort of a quasi-sequel to 'Why Fight It'. It's a one off, not going anywhere with it. Sort of blah I think, but I wrote it so why not post it - what's the worst that could happen?

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He was kneeling in front of her when he asked, no smile, no smirk; the most serious of expressions.

"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

Beckett was dumbfounded, one moment sure he was going to break up with her; that he'd had enough of her secrets, the job being the last straw that broke his patience. Then this, a proposal; no matter what she decided about the job he just wanted more for their future, more together. She knew now, he didn't want to be apart, he saw them together. Always.

"Rick..." She whispered, standing up from the swing and taking a small step away. That step taking her further form the swing, giving her room; taking her further form him. Seeing his face fall slightly, doubt entering his eyes she moved quickly; rounding the swing, dropping to her knees to join him and throwing her arms around his neck pulling them both together.

"They offered me the job Castle."

"I don't care Kate, whatever you decide..."

"You do care Rick, we both want more... the job, it wouldn't let that happen, it wouldn't let me to ever be there for you, wouldn't leave time for anything else in my life."

Castle said nothing to that, just bent his head forward and gave a small, gentle kiss on the neck.

"I'm not taking the job Rick."

"What? Kate..."

"I don't want to give up my life here Rick, I have too much to lose now; a home, friends, family, you."

Beckett pulled back from him then, arms loose around his shoulders, surprising him with a quick peck in the lips, "Let's talk somewhere else Rick, I have things I need to say."

"You still haven't answered the question Kate. Will you marry me?"

"If you had any doubt Rick. Don't. Yes. Yes, I will marry you."

He slipped the ring onto her finger then, slowly, almost hesitantly.

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The two of them had made it back to her apartment, not talking really during the journey; keeping each other company.

When they had arrived Beckett pushed Castle down onto the sofa, and began pacing; back and forth like an agitated wild cat, she only lacked the tail to swish in frustration. The frustration was turned inward now as she muttered occasionally to herself. She was on a roll today, realizations, speeches to herself as much as the suspect in interrogation; it was time to talk. She abruptly stopped pacing, turning to face Castle.

"I have some things I need to say, I need you to listen; you know talking about this stuff is hard for me so please just let me finish."

Castle have her a smile and a nod, nothing spoken.

"These last few weeks have been a mess Rick. Since the bomb scare, since you came back to stay with me. That's what started everything really I think. You came back Rick. The kind of commitment I'd never seen before from anyone, certainly no boyfriend had or would ever have done something like that for me."

"That's the third time you saved me from a bomb. Seems with around I don't have anything to worry about with bombs!"

Despite her serious tone Beckett let out a light chuckle, "hell Rick, you make me bomb proof! First my old apartment when Scott Dunn blew it up, you got me out without a scratch on me.."

Castle couldn't resist putting his two cents in on that, "or a stitch of clothing.."

"Hush Castle, let me talk please; we can discuss clothing later."

"Again with the dirty bomb, you should have left town with your family, but you didn't, you stayed with me; I should have sent you away but I didn't. You were reckless Rick, but you saved me, you saved a good chunk of the city. After that, if you weren't before, you were my partner Rick."

"Then the recent one, where you came back to me; if you hadn't no one else would have figured it out, the placement of the plate, how important it was. Coming back is what saved me Rick. If you hadn't I'd be dead."

"We'd agreed, you had to leave, couldn't stay and risk leaving Alexis fatherless; but instead of staying away you came back. Rick you put me first, ahead of even your own daughter; someone who had been the center of your life for longer even even my mother's case had been the epicenter of mine."

"Thats it though, I wasn't sure I could make the same commitment to you. Not at the time, I wasn't thinking that at the time, I was just so happy back then."

"Later though, things settled down, you weren't as responsive; I wasn't sure where you stood, what you wanted. I started to question myself too, something Vaughn said.."

Castle took a hissed breath at that name, and Beckett flashed him a quick comforting smile before continuing.

"He said something like a misled heart shouldn't derail a career, and I was wondering... Are we just in love with the dance? Have I been misleading myself, am I just in love with the dance? Are you the one?"

"What if I couldn't commit to you like I had to my mother Rick? She'd been the center of everything for so long, even after we got together I couldn't let it go. I had to chase down Bracken alone to cut a deal, almost let the nutcase kill him. I was still consumed Rick, consumed by the need to bring him down. Putting anything ahead of that..."

"You saved his life Kate."

"I know. I didn't want him killed like that, I want him brought to justice, to face the consequences of killing my mother."

"If I was wrong Rick, please don't be angry now, this is the past now. If I was wrong about us, if I couldn't commit like to you like I had my mother and her murder case. If you weren't the one for me, then the job, the new career; well it was perfect timing..."

"The job offer Rick, it would have been a great opportunity; but I realize now, that is not why I wanted it. It was all about commitment Rick, what I was committed to in this life I'm trying to lead."

"When they made me the offer I went to see my dad. He told me that my mother would have been proud, that he was proud of me; and the first thing I said to that Rick, was that I wanted the job. I've lived for my mothers case and trying to make her proud for so long Rick, just the thought of achieving that... I so wanted that. Even told my dad I'd resent you of I didn't take the job. Because then, I really thought I would, it would be picking between you and my mother Rick; I couldn't possibly do that, my mother has been my life, to pick you over her would... I don't know, but I'd eventually grow to hate you; or so I thought then, in that moment."

"The case opened my eyes Rick. In more ways than one. The vic, she had a promising career, family, friends, a home; and she gave it all up in the pursuit of her friends killer. She didn't succeed though, sacrificed her whole life to be an avenging angle; and in the end it wasn't enough, she wasn't smart enough to figure it all out, to gain the revenge. You were though Rick, you spotted the clues; helped us put the pieces to together. Just like you did with my mothers case, I couldn't get far by myself despite a decade of trying. But with you Rick, I now know who was behind it."

"More than that though, I started wondering; did I want to be that woman? Just continually be wrapped up in the pursuit of justice for my mother? That's what the AG job could have helped with, I don't need to be a cop anymore. I know who was behind it. To bring him down though, well I might not ever succeed but a platform like the AG's office would certainly help."

"To do it though I'd have to give up everything. To make my mother proud, to bring justice to her killer, which might never happen, I'd have to give up my home, friends, a great job already had, and the relationship with you. The vic in that case Rick she chose to give it all up, to chase the case until it killed her. I could do the same, live for my mother, her case, or I could live for me, for my own future."

"I just want you to know Rick, I handle this whole mess badly. Should have talked to you, we should have talked to each other. But it was never about a job Rick, really I don't think it was. No, it was about what I could put first. Honestly it wasn't really about you even Rick, putting you first."

She tossed him a weak smile at that.

"No it was about who I was living life for, and I want to live for me now. I want the home and family I already have, I want to keep that; and I want you."

Castle held out his hands to her then, waiting until she took them and attempting to tug her down onto the sofa; instead she simply straddled him and pressed her lips to his in the most passionate, but brief, kiss they had shared in weeks.

Pulling back just a touch, Castle whispers often to her, "thank you Kate. Thank you for telling me that." Then he laughed, "does make a bit of a mockery of my whole scratch and claw speech though Beckett."

"You complaining?"

"No. No. Just I wish sometimes we could be this open all the time; we both hold back so much. I was scared to push, words, actions, desires, dreams. I don't want uncomplicated anymore though; I want fun and complicated. I want you. I'm sure it won't be easy."

"I've never been easy Castle, you know that."

"Only for Internet billionaires right?"

Beckett leaned back then a look of absolute shock and horror on her face. She was apparently speechless, but not without other resources.

"Kidding! Apples! Kidding! You brought him up first!"

"Why did you say that!?"

"It was a joke! Poor taste maybe. But you did let him get.."

"I didn't let him anything! He.."

"It doesn't matter Kate! It's the past. I trusted you then. I trust you now. Forget I said it. Please?"

She was breathing heavily, clearly angry, but hasn't moved from her position straddling thighs. They both took a moment to pause, to calm back down.

Beckett finally spoke up again, "never mention him again. Deal?"

"Absolutely."

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They had taken a moment, Beckett leaving him on the sofa to make coffee. A little more tension in apartment than before.

Eventually, after perhaps five or even ten minutes of silence between them Castle apparently couldn't take it anymore, blurting out, "I love you."

All the tension left Beckett at those words, relaxation visibly spreading through her entire body, "I know. You wouldn't have proposed otherwise would you."

"I'm sorry."

She actually laughed then, so relaxed in them that she didn't care anymore, "I know that too. Castle you know I said yes right? You know what that means?"

She blew him a kiss form across her apartment, "Rick, I love you."