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I'm Not Broken Yet
Sesshomaru x Rin One Shot
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in the story, but I do own the plot and the story.
Rin POV
They say there are only so many times you can be saved until it's too late. I was never supposed to belong in his world…but how could I not be there if it felt so right? I know I never had the chance to be with him…life isn't like the fairytales that my mother used to tell me at night to help me sleep...until…until…after the accident.
Then I met him and my life changed forever. He became my best friend; and we understood each other like you know the back of your hand. He inspired me to keep going…not to give up; and eventually led me to continue my music. I didn't realize I was in love with him…okay…I knew I was in love with him for years, but I never came to terms with it. Now, it's too late; she came along, and that is all that matters to him. They announced the engagement on television six months ago; and that nearly killed me—at least on the inside. The six months passed as a hell of watching him holding her hand, being all "love struck". I'm not trying to sound like a stalker, but it's hard not to see them when you live literally near them.
Tonight will be the worst night of all.
Why?
Because tonight, she will become Mrs. Sesshomaru Takahashi; and I will be the good friend that wears a fake smile on her face, hides her feelings—and locks away her heart—and then watching from a distance as she lives in hell day after day. To make matters worse, I will have to be near him and being extra careful to only let him sense happiness –and nothing else.
It took me about three hours to get myself ready and to the church where it was going to be held-most of which was spent composing my facade. I stood at the back corner of the church, where I couldn't be seen. The church was packed anyways; and I let the Takahashi family and the Onigumo Family full in the pews—along with their friends. Kagome saw me in my corner and ran over to me.
"Rin! What are you doing over here?" she asked me; startling me slightly from my thoughts.
I had to think up an explanation; but I had none. It's not like I could've hidden anything from her anyways.
"The church is getting full. I decided to stand so other people could sit down. And because…I don't want to see it."
Kagome was the only one—besides Sango, Inuyasha, and his parents—that knew of my feelings for Sesshomaru. Suddenly I was in her arms and wrapped in a tight hug. "Rinny, you have to tell him…before it cannot be fixed."
I shook my head sadly against her shoulder. "I…I can't Kagome. He…he doesn't even love me that way. And besides, he's happy, and that's all that matters. I don't want to ruin the scraps that I have left of our friendship."
I unlocked myself from her embrace and walked a little distance away from her. "I hope you understand."
I walked towards the front doors to go outside to get some fresh air when out of the blue Kohoku appeared out of nowhere and hugged me.
"Rin! I'm so glad to see you!"he yelled happily in my ear.
A fake smile emerged from my lips as I inwardly cringed. 'Why can't you just leave me alone?'
"Hi... Kohaku." I said as I gasped for breath from his grip.
He hugged me tighter and and rocked us back and forth. "Rinny, can I sit next to you in the pews?" he asked in my ear.
I struggled to get out of his death grip. "Kohaku-please let go of me-"
He didn't.
"Rinny-"
A growl ripped through the air as an angry Sesshomaru appeared in the doorway. His eyes were beginning to have a red tint in them as his body shook with anger.
"What are you doing with my Rin-"
"Sesshomaru! It is about to start!"Golden eyes snapped back to reality.
"I'll be there in a moment." He answered as his gaze caught mine.
Kohaku, for once not being so dense, took the hint to go back inside and sit down, leaving me and Sesshomaru alone.
I opened my mouth to speak, to fill the silence, but he just came closer to me.
"Sessh...? Are you okay? Sesshomaru...?"
He backed me up against the wall and placed both of his arms on either side of me.
"Why am I always so confused around you?"
My eyes went as wide as saucers at his outburst. "What-?"
His gaze locked onto mine as his face came closer.
"I...I can't do this! I'm sorry!"
I pushed him away as traitorous tears rolled down my cheeks.
"I don't care anymore if after this you hate me, or if our friendship is over! I love you, you idiot! Regardless if you find it so entertaining to fool with a poor ningen heart on your fucking wedding day, I love you! And I know you don't feel the same way, I know I'm not good enough-and I never will be! But do not think you can fool around with my feelings when you don't love me! I tried to keep it to myself, to not let you know...but...why the hell are you marrying her of all people?"
Tears fell faster as I realized I had stepped out of line. "I'm sorry."
I hurried back into the church.
His eyes were wide. "Rin! Wait!"
I didn't stop. "It's your wedding day Sess. Please forget I said anything...and let's go back to normal. I was selfish."
I turned my head to give him a fake smile. "I'm just crying because I'm so...happy for you!" A sob broke from my chest, but I quieted it down and smiled; giving the pretense that I was crying do to happy-rush.
A strong hand caught my arm and gently yanked me towards a strong, hard body.
"I love you, Rin. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me when I saw you with Kohaku."
He closed his eyes. "I'm marrying Kagura because of the company tradition, requirement by my mother, and social expectation to have a full blooded mate and youkai offspring. I do not love her, Rin. The show was just for the public eyes. If I had the choice, Rin, I would get down on one knee right now and propose."
His gaze locked with mine, and I knew he was telling the truth.
Tears sprang into my eyes but I forced them down. "I'm sorry, Sess. I'll be here if you ever need to talk about it. The wedding is about to start. I wish you both the best."
I hugged him tightly and felt him respond almost immediately. A hand cupped my chin and brought my face closer to his .
"Rin..."
The gentle tone in which he spoke my name sent shivers down to my toes.
Pale eyelids closed as his lips drew near to my own.
Should I?
Could I?
No. I can't...
But..
No Rin. He is not yours and never will be.
As I was contemplating on what to do, Inuyasha hollered for Sesshomaru...something along the lines of "Get your ass in here. It's starting!"
We sprang apart and I backed away from him a few feet.
"There you guys are! I was lookin' all over for ya! Sess, it's time. Rin, are you going in?"
Sesshomaru looked at me and then walked into the church.
I shook my head in response to his question.
"Rin...I'm sorry." Inuyasha whispered as he turned towards the doors.
I smiled. "It's okay. I'm really happy for him. They look great together."
"Rin. When the priest asks for anyone who objects to the wedding, I want you to object."
My eyes widened. "I could never do that!"
Inuyasha sighed. "I know he is not happy with this. And neither are you. He won't go against his mothet's will. But I place his future in your hands Rin."
With that, Inuyasha turned to go back inside; leaving me with only my thoughts for companionship.
"And does anyone object to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace."
This broke my train of thought.
Should I?
I found myself hurriedly opening the church doors with about three hundred shocked faces looking my way.
'Take the chance, Rin.'
'I put his future into your hands.'
"I object!"
Inuyasha's eyes smiled although his face was calm, Kagura's was murderous, and Sesshomaru was beyond all shock.
I found the strength to continue. "I only want your happiness, Sess. I think you should go into a marriage when you want to and if you truly love the person you are marrying. Love is given, not forced. You don't have to be with me, or love me, but if all I am to be is a friend, then as a friend I ask you to only go through this if you want to. Lastly, I love you Sess."
His eyes were wide with shock and happiness; of the extent of emotion I could see in his eyes, he was happy.
Like magnets, our bodies moved towards each other until we met in the center of the aisle.
"Sesshomaru..." I breathed as his arms wrapped around me.
"Rin...let's get out of here." He whispered in my ear.
A real smile lit up upon our lips as we ran towards his car; our destination unknown.
If I was anywhere with Sesshomaru, I would be happy.