AN: This is just pure amusement, just making fun of the fuckery that is happening on TVD and TO. This is just poking fun at the blatant and obvious rip off ideas stolen from Joss Wheadon. He did it so much better, but they, if you're gonna steal from him, we're gonna steal from him. Just for laughs, don't take it too seriously and if you have no sense of humor, don't read it. No beta obviously
Klaus was painting in his studio when he heard the loud crash from upstairs. He ignores it and continues painting. The sounds get louder and louder, things are being smashed and finally Klaus loses his patience.
Hayley chases after the 10 year old boy who runs into the studio.
"Daddy!" the boy yells
Klaus turns and sets his paints down.
"Henrick, you've grown again" Klaus said picking the boy up
He notices the boy wearing one of his shirts. Hayley runs into the room flustered and covered in soap and shampoo.
"Are your werewolf abilities not working?" Klaus asked
"He was fine 5 minutes ago before he had another growth spurt" Hayley said
"Your sole job is to take care of him, that's the only reason why you're here" Klaus said
"Are you mad at mommy?" Henrick asked
"He's always mad at mommy" Hayley said
"Take him upstairs" Klaus handed the child to her
"You're too heavy to carry" Hayley said
Klaus glared at her. Hayley relented and picked up the boy and carried him back upstairs. Klaus looked back at his canvas at the blonde angel he was painting.
Elsewhere at the bottom of the lake
Stefan was coming back to life again, while trapped in the safe. He bangs on the door in vain again knowing that the water in his lungs will drown him yet again. He knows no one can hear him, no one will find him, no one will rescue him.
The door suddenly opens and arms reach in and pull Stefan out. When he awakes he finds himself on the muddy banks. He looks around wondering how he got there. He sees a figure in the water.
"Hello?" he calls out
The figure swims closer to him. To his amazement he sees it's a woman. A very naked woman, with red hair and green eyes. He feels as if he knows her from somewhere.
"You're the one who saved me" Stefan said
"Yes"
"Who are you?"
"My name is Ariel"
"Well thank you Ariel, I don't know how much longer I could have lasted down there"
"And your name?"
"Stefan"
Suddenly a lobster pinched him on the leg.
"ouch!" Stefan kicked it away
Ariel swam closer to the shore and picked up the lobster.
"Sorry about that" Ariel said
"How is there even a lobster here? There's no saltwater here for miles. It's a damn lake"
"Er well, I'm gonna go now"
"Do you need help getting out?"
"What? No"
"Let me help you" Stefan stood up
"I'm fine"
Stefan reached out and pulled her up only to realize that she wasn't standing. Instead he fell back and saw a shiny slippery tail, a fish tail instead.
"Oh shit you're a fish!" Stefan said
"I'm a mermaid!"
Stefan slid himself away from her and looked at her tail.
"I didn't know you were real" Stefan said
"We are! now help me get back into the water"
"Why? Won't you get legs if you stay dry"
"What?! Where did you get that from?"
"I saw it on tv once. It was kinda cheesy this kids show-"
"Hello! I'm a mermaid I need water"
"Are you sure? You could get legs if you're dry. Have you ever tried?"
"No!"
"How did you get here? This is a lake nowhere near the ocean"
"Plot hole!"
Silas who now looked like Stefan was wandering around the streets of New Orleans. He saw Marcel who was talking to other vampires with daylight rights. Silas tilted his head to the side and walked over to him. Marcel noticing Stefan standing there looked at him.
"I don't swing that way" Marcel said
"You are his shadow self" Silas said
"Excuse you?"
"You are just his shadow self, I'm surprised to see you here"
"Get him boys" Marcel commanded
Silas wasted no time and merely glanced at the vampires. They in turn stopped and walked away. Marcel looked at them in disbelief.
"What the hell?!" Marcel yelled
"Come shadow self, the original can't be far off" Silas said grabbing his arm
Caroline walked into the bar in the french quarter of New Orleans. She sat down and looked around. She was searching for Stefan being that he had disappeared and no one had heard from him. Damon and Elena were busy being happy and said that Stefan just wanted some time alone.
Someone sat next to the stool next to her in the bar.
"Hey Cami, can I get a soda?" a male voice said
"Henry you know you're not suppose to drink that much soda" Camille answered
"Oh cmon! It's just a soda, not like I'm an alcoholic like my dad"
Camille relented and poured him a glass of soda and placed it infront of him.
"Can I get a lemon and a cherry?"
"Sure thing kid"
Caroline was busy with her phone and didn't notice the guy next to her. She heard the guy burp next to her and she looked over in disgust.
"Gross" Caroline said
Her eyes almost fell out of her sockets when she saw who was sitting next to her. It was Klaus wearing clothes that were his but too big and baggy on him, smirking and drinking a soda. But there was something off about him. He looked younger, like a teenager.
"Carebot, what are you doing here? Is my dad here?" Henrick looked around
"Klaus?" Caroline asked
"Something's wrong with your scanners again, I'm Henrick"
"Why are you talking with that horrible accent? You don't even sound American"
"Carebot, something's wrong with your voice recognition, I'm Henrick"
Henrick reached out to move her hair aside. He got up and went behind her. Caroline quickly turned around using her vamp speed.
"When did you get that upgrade?" Henrick asked
"This isn't funny Klaus!"
"Stop calling me that, I told you I'm Henrick, Carebot"
"There you are!" Hayley yelled as she ran into the bar, "How many times have I told you not to run off?"
"Sorry mom" Henrick said
"What are you doing with that thing here? You know your dad doesn't want you playing with it" Hayley said
"She's being weird, she doesn't recognize me" Henrick said
"Excuse you both!" Caroline yelled
Hayley and Henrick both stared at her.
"I don't know what weird kind of flirting this is, but it sucks, and you, you skanky were slut, what are you doing here anyways!?" Caroline yelled
"What the hell Carebot!" Henrick yelled and moved her hair aside to look at her neck but he only saw skin
"It's your fault Tyler had to go on the run, and it's your fault that those 12 hybrids died, and its your fault that Tyler's mom died!" Caroline said as she reached out to strangle Hayley
"This isn't a machine!" Hayley yelled
Caroline managed to knock Hayley to the ground and started choking her. Henrick pulled Caroline off and threw it back. He bent down to help Hayley.
"Oh hell no, don't tell me you two are like a thing now?" Caroline said
"She's my mom, and if you do that again I'll make you sorry for it" Henrick said
"Your mom? Caroline said in disbelief
"Yes, I'm his mother, wait till you meet his father" Hayley said getting up
"Yeah, my dad will seriously kick your butt!"
Caroline looked at Hayley and then at this younger version of Klaus.
"oh my god! You and Klaus?" Caroline covered her mouth
"Yes, me and Klaus, jealous that I got there first?"
"I just threw up in my mouth a little" Caroline said
This is just silliness. It's nice to take a break from the serious, so I hope you were amused. If you have no sense of humor don't read it and don't leave me a review, I really don't care what you have to say.