I know our concept of time makes it seem like I was gone for a long time, but I was actually gone much longer.

Lol, no, sorry about it. Life and all that. Things get harder when you level up, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd life is awesomely weird. I'm enjoying the experiences. And thanks so much for you guys being so sweet! I haven't been gone because of anything happening here. Life just happens, lololololololol. My free time and motivation finally aligned.

Enjoy!

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Black and Purple Don't Mix #35

Was she looking at him?

Had something in him finally snapped that he was now hallucinating? Did he abuse his Sharingan to the point that his mental manifestations were now taking on a convincing physical form? This had to be a trick of his mind because the image in front of him looked . . . different than the memories he had been holding onto.

This version of her had shoulder length hair and a slimmer body. She stood with confidence, her shoulders drawn back and her body leaning just ever so slightly towards him. Her pale eyes stared at him evenly, searching his and evaluating his being to the point he almost missed the crazed look brewing beneath them.

"Sasuke," she breathed, a feverish hitch in her tone. She took a step closer, reaching both hands out to touch his face. She smiled wide, sweetly. "I found you."

Sasuke's eyes widened, his body zapped with voltage after voltage of painful yet euphoric electricity. He remembered it all with clarity-what it felt like to touch her, to kiss her, to be engulfed by her. He remembered her scent-an enchantment he never thought would hook him as much as it did-that unique scent that was solely her no matter if she had been training or not. And he was flooded full force with desire.

Shit.

That desire.

The physical, the mental, the emotional, the madness. It all came back to him at once, with all the intensity and clouded thoughts, and he was desperate. He wanted it all back. He wanted her back. He wanted to be lost all over again but-

"No!"

Hinata stared at him, disbelief plastered on her face, and her hands hovering in midair. Sasuke stared back at her, equally disbelieving, holding her at arm's length. When he realized what he had done, his chest hurt and his stomach twisted into tight knots. He let go of her and looked away, unable to stop how his face scrunched in both confusion and anguish.

"You were never here," he said quietly.

He closed the door.

Hinata stood frozen, her stomach completely knotted. She stared at the rotted door that had closed so firmly in front of her.

What had happened?

Why did it just happen?

After months of training and all the effort she went through to find him, Sasuke just . . . rejected her. After all the lies, all the secrets, all the pain, all the changes, all the torture, Sasuke threw her out like it didn't hurt him to do so. He convinced her that he loved her and that he only wanted her, and he threw her out like trash.

.

"You were never here."

.

Hinata saw red.

Sasuke's world was spinning.

This wasn't right.

This wasn't happening.

Something was very, VERY wrong, and he was not at all prepared with it.

He was seeing things. He was seeing things in the worst way, and he immediately knew why. A person should never use genjutsu on themselves—not recklessly. Sasuke should never use the Sharingan on himself—not to cope. But he had needed to. He didn't know it would even work, but there were times where he just needed to feel better from whatever terrifyingly strong emotion threatened to destroy him.

How it originally happened, he could not begin to figure out because he had not had access to a mirror for months, but he distinctly remembers using this new coping method when he was in between living arrangements. Now though, all he had to do was activate his Sharingan with a powerful hypnotic genjutsu while looking into a mirror and he can . . . Well, to him, it felt like time travel.

. . .while slightly intoxicated?

Plainly, he was violently thrusting himself back into random memories, but they felt so real while he was experiencing them again—like he was physically experiencing them again.

The first few attempts were exquisitely horrifying, to say the least. He could not control what memories he was thrust into, and the only memories in the beginning were ones he had almost forgotten.

Even then, revisiting them was better than dealing with the present.

But then he discovered the power of intention. He discovered that if he had a strong emotion in mind or if he was thinking about someone with the utmost focus, the memory he was thrust into would be related to that person or emotion.

Of course, he thought of her.

Perhaps, he became addicted to his new coping mechanism.

He used to spend hours tucked away in whatever reclusive spot he could find in these self-induced trances.

And why did he do it?

Why?

Because—

All that blood.

It was a lot of blood.

"Help . . . Pl-please . . ."

All that blood.

Her intestines were there.

Is she moving?

"Sasuke, please!"

There's no way she . . .

"V-Very . . . s-s-s-sorry."

There was just no way.

He stumbled to the bathroom, silently hyperventilating and struggling to keep his limbs from giving out long enough to make it to the mirror. Fumbling with the light switch, Sasuke stared at his reflection. His face had gone pale and he was dripping with cold sweat that had erupted over his whole body.

Was this real?

Was this a side effect of using the Sharingan on himself? Or genjutsus or both?

Or could it even be remotely possible that . . . ?

Hinata found him here? Hinata found him? She was looking for him? For how long? How long had she been awake? Why would she want to find him when she finally had escaped from him after all this time? Didn't she know what being with him meant? Didn't she know how much danger she was in just by being with him?

Wouldn't she truly hate him after everything he put her through?

Sasuke activated his Sharingan, staring at the mess of a young man staring back at him through the rusted mirror.

The Hinata from earlier was just a hallucination—a side-effect from misusing his Sharingan this past year. It had to be. Even if Hinata was still . . . here, she wouldn't be. . . here.

A loud, splintering crash came from the bedroom. He rushed into the room to find the front door had come off its hinges and was splintered inwards. He looked out the framework to see a person standing there. This person was hunched over, one arm extended towards the ground, the fingers expertly together and pointed. The other hand was pulled back with the palm up. Their head was bent down, dangling hair shook ever so slightly. Heavy breathing filled the room, but Sasuke couldn't tell if it was because of him or because of her.

Her . . .

No way.

"Sasuke," the woman said ominously. She lifted her head and glared at him bitterly, veins and tears stretching from her eyes.

Because of the moon reflecting off her eyes, Sasuke almost didn't register that it was Hinata.

Hinata thrust her palm forward violently. A massive onslaught of air shot towards Sasuke. Air left his body. He swept high upwards until his body hit the wall and his head slammed against the ceiling. He lost consciousness as he fell to the ground, but the last thing he thought was . . .

Look at her.

o0o0o

The dull pain pulled him out.

That dull, aching, skull-encompassing pain.

He tried to raise his hand so he could attempt to soothe the pain, but his arms wouldn't move. He struggled to make them work, but no matter how hard he tried, nothing worked. Opening his eyes, Sasuke saw that he was still in his dark bedroom. The door was back in place, yet some slivers of moonlight seeped through the splintered holes. He lifted his head slowly to assess the extent of his pain and regretted every movement that caused a wave of fresh, slow torture.

"Does it hurt?"

Sasuke looked around lazily until his eyes landed on the bed. Hinata was lying there, huddled into the fetal position, and she was staring at Sasuke tiredly.

"I didn't think I could hurt you," she said softly. "There were times when I really wanted to, but I never thought I could." She smiled. "But that looked like it may have hurt."

Sasuke stared. He didn't think he could say anything.

Hinata sat up, and it was now that Sasuke saw she was shaking.

"It was strange," she said in a trembling voice, still smiling. "It was . . . so strange. I trained so hard just to get to this point and . . . I thought I might have killed you." She laughed. "Me. I thought I killed you. Could you imagine? What would it have all been for if you just-just died just like that?" She laughed hysterically for a second. "But that would have been something."

She drifted off into silence, her breathing becoming even and her eyes glossing over. She rolled away from him and sighed softly.

"To be known as the one who killed Sasuke Uchiha, well . . ."

Silence settled once again. Sasuke continued to stare, his dull pain a dull and fading reminder on a far away part of them. Hinata wasn't the same anymore. She wasn't completely different but she definitely wasn't the same. It was like she . . . She was . . .

"Sasuke," Hinata said as she sat up and continued to face away from him. "What did you mean when you said I was 'never here'?" She waited a few seconds. "Were you saying that to protect me or yourself?"

He didn't answer.

Hinata turned her head to the side. "Answer me," she said softly.

"I didn't want to be bothered with you," he said honestly; he was unable to keep it just a thought.

In one motion, Hinata whirled off the bed and appeared to glide over to Sasuke. He felt the sharp pain to his head as it was yanked backwards before he registered just how close she was to him. Her eyes were ablaze with anger, and the veins of her Byakugan threatened to burst through her skin.

"Don't lie," she said softly, almost sweetly. Two fingers were pressed firmly against Sasuke's chest. "You risked your life to be with me. You made sure I understood how you felt, and I understand now. I understand you."

That was . . . odd to hear coming from her. All of this was odd to hear from her.

"What did you do to my arms?" he asked.

Hinata stared at him for a long moment, her hard eyes never softening. "I blocked your chakra points."

"How?"

She hesitated. "What do you mean how?"

Sasuke stared at the woman in front of him quizzically. Then his expression became stoic. "You're her, right? Prove it."

She stared for a moment. "What are . . ." Hinata's head tilted slightly, her eyes softening. He noted her grip did not. "Do you think I'm not real or do you think I'm not me?"

Sasuke didn't respond.

Hinata didn't know how to.

There was a small knock at the door.

"Sasuke?"

The two looked at each other, both trying to read the other's expression. Hinata contemplated many things faster than Sasuke realized, and he watched as she backed against the wall directly left of the door. She kept her eyes on him the whole time, curious and cautious as she watched him, and she waited.

"Sasuke?" The door thumped and rattled. "What happened to the door?"

A few more thumps and rattles occurred before the top half of the door burst open, colliding into the wall and creating a poof and a thud.

"Oh!" Aiya leaned in and looked behind the door. "What was that? What happened to the door? Where did that log come from?" She looked at Sasuke. He was sitting in a chair facing the door with his arms hanging at his sides. "What are you doing?"

He stared a second longer. "You came back."

"Yeah, I," she pushed the lower half of the door, causing it to fall forward on the floor, "oh! Okay, no." She walked in and placed a plastic bag filled with takeout containers onto the table. "What the hell have you been doing? And I came to drop off food 'cause I forgot, so don't ask me."

Sasuke tried to move his arms, but he couldn't.

Fuck.

"Just thinking." His adrenaline was pumping. "The door is just old." It took all he could to not look around the room. "Go home. It's dark."

Aiya frowned, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, you're welcome," she muttered. She eyed him again. "Why are you sitting like that?"

"I really need you to go," Sasuke said thickly. "It's a bad night. Thanks for the food," he said as an afterthought.

Aiya stared at him. This was very confusing. He seemed so open about having her around earlier, but she was getting the feeling that he really didn't want her here specifically. Is it because she forgot the food earlier? Or maybe his emotions just took a turn for the worst after she left . . . but then she shouldn't leave him here all alone, should she? She knows better than that by now.

"Are you sure I shouldn't stay?" she asked.

"Not tonight," he clipped out.

And it stung.

"Fine." She pressed her lips together. "Let me just use the bathroom first."

Before Sasuke could say anything, she was already marching towards the bathroom door and closing it behind her. He stared at the door, his breathing accelerating, and he desperately tried to will his arms to work again.

"Release," a voice whispered.

Sasuke's eyes snapped to the table. Hinata sat there, her head propped on one hand and two fingers raised in front of her face from her other hand. The intensity of her stare was sinking into him. A wild fear erupted inside of him, but she stood before he could open his mouth to say anything.

She walked over to him, bending to meet his eyes, and looked at the bathroom door before looking at him. And she sighed.

Why did that devastate him?

Hinata gathered chakra at the tip of her index and middle fingers before she swiftly jabbed at both his arms. Once she was done, she turned and left without a word.

Sasuke's arms tingled back to life, but he couldn't even put his body into motion before Aiya slowly emerged from the bathroom.

"Okay, well," she said as she straightened her hair, "I guess if you don't need anything else, I'll be on my way."

"Yeah." Hinata was almost to the forest now. "It's late."

"You've said." Aiya smirked. "You want to walk me home or something?"

Sasuke looked at her then back at the forest. Hinata was gone. "I have to train tonight."

He knew Aiya said something, but he was already rushing into the thick trees. His head was spinning again, and his heart was a painful pressure in his chest. He would accept reality if he caught up with her now. If this was real, she couldn't have gotten far.

He was about to break out in a sprint when he finally spotted her in front of him. He pushed himself harder to reach her, his lips parting to say something, but just as he was close enough to touch her, she spun out of his way.

He skittered to a stop and looked behind him. His lungs burned as he tried to figure her out. She stood several feet away, her face firm and rigid, Byakugan straining against her skin.

"Stop," he said, his voice even but his mind delirious. "You came all this way. I'm listening, okay?"

Hinata smiled bitterly. "Did you even look for me?"

Everything wouldn't stop spinning.

"You . . ." His eyes closed, his head pounding. "I couldn't. You were better off." He shook his head fiercely, looking at her for some clarity. "You wouldn't have wanted me to."

Her eyebrows raised slightly, lips pursing. "I wouldn't?" She nodded as she gestured around her. "No, I guess I wouldn't."

"I didn't know you—Why are you here?"

She laughed, annoyed. "Why do you think, Sasuke? This is what you wanted, isn't it?" She glared hard at him, but her mask was breaking. "I'm here because you finally got what you wanted, but . . ." She gestured in the direction of the hut. "I mean, you didn't even look first," her voice broke as she looked at him desperately. "Couldn't even lie and said you at least looked first?"

"I . . ." He looked in the direction of the hut then back at her. "She isn't even . . ." He shook his head again. "Hold on. You're gonna leave because of that?"

"Because of that?" Hinata laughed. "You didn't even know if I was dead or not before you moved on, but I'm supposed to be okay with that?"

"What are you . . . ?" He squinted at her, taking a step forward. "You want me now?"

They stared at each other for a few tense seconds.

"Not anymore." She jumped into the trees. Sasuke jumped after her.

"Hold on!" he said loudly. "You're not making any sense!"

Hinata said nothing as she expertly leapt from one branch to the other. Sasuke managed to stay just a few feet behind her, but he struggled to close the last bit of the gap. His lungs burned and his vision was fogging at the edges from all the blood pumping within his body.

"Just stop!" he said, but she didn't listen. Activating his Sharingan, he was finally able to close the gap. He lunged at her.

They made contact and tumbled towards the ground. Hinata twirled, facing him, and kicked him just before they hit the forest floor. She tuck and rolled to her feet as Sasuke collided with the trunk of a tree just a few feet off the ground. He landed in a heap and looked at Hinata, his Sharingan still activated.

"This was a mistake." Hinata stared back at him, hysteria slowly coming to the surface. "This . . . I shouldn't have come here."

"Hinata," he said carefully. Her eyes widened. "Don't."

He only darted after her because she ran. He would have went after her anyway, but he wouldn't have darted after her if she hadn't run. And if she hadn't run, his emotions wouldn't have gotten chaotic.

.

". . . you finally got what you wanted . . ."

"I'm here . . ."

.

How could he let her go after that?

With agonizing clarity, he realized his curse mark had activated, and he exploded towards her and they tumbled to the ground again, fumbling and tossing as they went. Hinata attempted to separate herself from him, but Sasuke had a firm hold of her from around her waist. When they came to a stop, Hinata managed to twist her way out of Sasuke's hold, but she only managed to stand before Sasuke yanked her back to the ground by her ankle. She kicked him off and tackled him, giving one arm two swift jabs before he shoved her off him. Hinata turned to run again, but Sasuke pulled her into him with his good arm, and they fell back to the ground.

"Hinata," Sasuke huffed, the large hands closing around the pair, "stop." She struggled more, ramming her elbows into him with force. He knew she could do more than this. He was having a hard time accepting why she didn't, but he knew she wanted him to hurt in this moment. She didn't have to try. "Just stop."

She felt crushed. Why did the idea of him moving on hurt so much? Because she thought that would never happen? Because she took pride in the thought it would never happen? Because she really thought . . . there was a type of unconditional love she could get from Sasuke? A love so deep and twisted that even her death wouldn't keep him from wanting to be with her and only her? Is she hurt because she finally accepted it too late?

"This isn't right." She continued to struggle. How long had it been since she left the group? "Sasuke, this is all wrong."

"You came here for me." He fought to turn her to face him. "You chose me," he insisted. He held her arms behind her back, forcing her to straddled his lap. The giant hands on his back opened slightly to allow in slivers of moonlight. Sasuke huffed as he stared into Hinata's glinting eyes. "You chose me."

"Obviously I didn't think it through," she spat though her voice trembled.

Sasuke grinned, the tomoe of his Sharigan spun. "Good."

"Let go of me."

His grin slipped away, replaced with an analytical stare.

"Sasuke," Hinata said firmly.

His hold on her lessened gradually. He let both sets of hands fall away as he held her gaze, waiting for her next move. He couldn't help but wonder how much of her theatrics was just to get him to follow her.

He wondered if any of those theatrics were meant to distract him from the reality of the situation.

He should be paralyzed with confusion. He should have been too skeptical of reality to follow Hinata when she was not acting in a way he was used to at all. He shouldn't have fought against all his instincts to stay away from this Hinata all because he was addicted to a feeling.

Every feeling she gave him.

He shouldn't be in this situation with her. This alone should be a huge indicator, if nothing else, that they were not healthy for or with each other.

But Hinata was too addicting.

"I can't believe you found me." He smiled at her tiredly, the effects of his curse mark creeping back to his neck. In his original state, he appeared more exhausted than he had ever been. "You're insane."

"I . . . f-forgot how much I hate you." She embraced him tightly, trying to keep a hold on her breathing. "I can't believe you . . . m-made me forget that."

He held her back, firmly running his hands along her—taking in her presence—inhaling her scent—falling back to madness.

Shameless.

He didn't deserve this.

"Yeah," he said, "you're like me now."

Aiya sat at the table, nervously tapping her foot against the leg of another chair.

She had no idea what to do. She attempted to follow Sasuke, but he was faster than any civilian boy his age. She had waited by the edge of the forest for a few minutes, but when he didn't return and she didn't hear anything else, the only thing she could think to do was wait.

But after thirty minutes of waiting, she wasn't sure how long she should keep waiting here.

On top of needing to get home, there's nothing she could do if Sasuke was going to be gone for a while. Even if he was having some emotional breakdown, perhaps he's more capable of being out on his own like that because of his ninja training. Maybe . . .

She fidgeted in her seat for a few minutes before accepting the fact she needed to go home. If someone comes looking for her and stumble upon Sasuke instead, this whole situation could become worse than it is.

She eyed the two halves of the front door uneasily.

Just what was the situation?

Aiya stood and dragged herself towards the door. She halted when a shadow overtook the doorway, but Sasuke soon emerged through it. She perked up. He eyed her.

"Shit," he said under his breath. "Look, Aiya, don't come back here after tonight."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I worked things out with my girlfriend."

Aiya's stomach evaporated. "What are . . . you talking about?"

Aiya watched as the young woman walked into the hut.

Sasuke, though he acknowledged the cruelty of it, had a less brutal way of getting rid of Aiya than any of Hinata's ideas. It involved a genjutsu, and a recovered memory.

Sasuke remembered what Aiya's twin looked like, and she was right. They weren't identical. He thought it was fair that he showed her he knew that.

Naruto bit his nails absentmindedly as he sat around the fire with everyone else. He was uncharacteristically quiet, but no one was paying him any attention. All eyes were on Tsunade, who was stirring a cup of tea.

Though the urge was strong, everyone knew better than to ask if Tsuande had heard what Naruto just told them.

"Okay."

Nobody breathed. Nobody blinked.

"Get some rest. This mission was completed hours ago, so we will continue home in the morning." She looked up, making eye contact with everyone. "Any questions?"

Nobody said anything.

Her eyes fell on Naruto, who was giving her the most critical look out of everyone. "What?"

"Why aren't we going after her?"

"That calls for a completely separate team," Tsunade said evenly.

"We are right-here," Naruto said. "It doesn't make any sense for us to go back to the village."

"Naruto." Tsunade took a sip from her cup, exhaling after a while. "I'm afraid I can't keep treating this situation like Hinata doesn't have a bigger role in this than we've considered."

Naruto squinted, truly skeptical. "You think she left on purpose."

Tsunade laughed. "Yeah. Let's start there."