Yuri Nakamura is a great leader, nobody could deny that, but even her is not immune from her emotions.

From the outside, she's strong, calm, and caring (depends on her mood at the time). Without her, there wouldn't be the SSS in the first place. Hinata used to tell me about their time together before I came here. It was her who founded the SSS, and brought all of us here. Her ultimate goal is even more daring; she wanted to find the almighty God himself, if he existed, and give him a much-needed beatdown for all the crap he did to us; a never-ending torture in all its cruel glory we called 'Life'.

She wanted to achieve what none of us ever thought was possible; to create a 'paradise' for those who was ripped away of everything.

But is that really what she wanted?

What is it that she really wanted?

She lost her siblings...all three of them...to some fuckers that robbed her house.

Ten minutes...one life...

It took thirty minutes for the police to arrive...

By that time...it was way too late...


"...I...I can't take this anymore, Yuzuru..."

Here she was, in my embrace, crying heavily into my chest, with no sign of stopping any time soon.

"Why...why can't I see them again?...Why can I see all of you but not them?..."

No matter how much I wanted too, I cannot answer her question.

"...did...did they already leave? Did they already moved on, leaving me here alone? They must've hated me for failing them..."

I can feel her body trembling. She started crying harder.

"Don't blame yourself, Yuri. It's not your fault...it's those bastards that...that..."

I felt silent, I can't bear to finish the sentence.

This isn't the first time something like this happened.

Ever since she decided to reveal her past to me during our trek down into the Guild from a long time ago, we became closer somehow.

When we're on duty, doing the 'operations' as SSS, she remained in her cheerful, confident spirit capable of leading us to success, but off-duty, she's still the scared, fragile, emotionally-scarred girl who needed someone to be with her. A young girl with a tragic past that haunted her even into Death itself.

I'm one of the few people who know about what she really are. Ever since Iwasawa 'moved on', she turned to me for comfort. Not even Noda, her self-proclaimed 'bodyguard', and Hinata, who's been with her since the beginning, has the privilege to be there for her when she needed it. Of all people who know the truth about how she really feels, it's me.

Well, technically, Naoi knows the truth as well, since he read into her mind when he was the student president, but well, being Naoi, he never cares too much for anybody except me. Heh, the irony of it.

But even I can't do anything much to help except being there for her when she needed it. There's no cheering her up, no changing her feeling. It's like...an emotional train wreck. Sometimes I even let her uses me as a punching bag to reduce all her stress from everything. I don't mind her, because she's been through far worse thing than me.

To think about it, everyone always complain about how Life doesn't go their way. 'I don't get this, I can't do that', they said. They never seem to realize that there are far more worse things they can face, and there are someone who has to go through all of them without any choice.

Someone like Yuri, someone like us, who was denied of any happiness in Life.

You wouldn't know how it feel. To lose your own siblings, one by one, in mere minutes, killed by those robbers who forced you to play a cruel and twisted game, and you have no other choice at all but to go through it.

What is the purpose of Afterlife, then? Why are we here? A place of second chances for us? To do what we wanted to do, to be what we wanted to be?

Iwasawa moved on because she finally achieved what she've always wanted to do. Even though everyone was sad to see her moved on, we are happy for her.

But just how could someone like Yuri move on? It's just...not something you can move on from easily.

They always tell you to move on, not to indulge in the past. What's done is done. Heh, easy for them to say.

Yes, you can try to hide it, hide your true feelings. We always do that; faking your personality by covering your face with a smiled, bright mask, to show your friends that you still have the strength to move on, that you'll always fight on no matter what Life throws at us.

Yet, deep down inside, you know better than anything that you're already finished. There's nothing you can do. Without someone called friends to help you, you're nothing more than an empty vase, filled with dusts.

Pointless, meaningless, nothingness.

This fragile vase called body is just waiting for something to break it into pieces.

By this point, Yuri Nakamura is no different than that vase.

And I'm the only person trying to hold it together...


"Tachibana-san?"

I called out to a certain white-haired girl in front of me, who is admiring some flowers in the garden near the school.

Strange, she isn't wearing her usual student clothes today, but rather in a white dress, with a nice white hat to go along.

Probably because she isn't the student president anymore, I suppose.

Ever since the 'Angel Clones' incident a few weeks ago, Kanade Tachibana has grown closer to us SSS. After all, we did go out of our way to save her from deep within the Guild. If it wasn't for me and Yuri, Kanade would've probably still stuck inside that dark cavern with her evil clones.

Even if the experience traumatized her, and left her in coma for a while, she is still thankful to us for saving her, me and Yuri in particular. Afterwards, Kanade seems to be getting closer to Yuri, much to everyone's surprise. It doesn't help that back then, they used to be archenemies who hated each other to guts, in Yuri's case, anyways.

Yet right now, she's the only person I trusted enough to confer about Yuri's feelings.

"Yes, Otonashi-san?" She turned her face toward me.

"Can I...ask you for some advice?" I said.

"You wanted to talk to me about Nakamura-san's feelings?"

H-how did she knows about that!?

"Wha? Did...did Naoi tell you about her!?"

"No, I figured that out on my own ever since we battled all those months ago. Think about it, Otonashi-san. She waged her own war against God himself for all the wrongs he did to her life. Whatever that might be, I think it must hit her pretty hard if it got her so worked up and creating the SSS in the first place."

Kanade walked over and picked up one of the flowers in the garden. A purple lily.

"Life is so beautiful, isn't it, Yuzuru? A shame that it can't stay with us forever."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"It's just like this flower. No matter how long, it'll wither and die eventually. When I picked it up, it was ripped from its soil, from everything important to it. Sooner or later, it'll die, too..."

She turned to face me once again, and gave the purple lily to me.

I stared at it. The purple lily reminded me of Yuri somehow, and what Kanade just said is so painfully right.

No matter what, I can't help her.

Just like this flower. Everything I do is all meaningless, it'll all end eventually.

"What should I do, Kanade? How could I help her? How could I ease her suffering?" I asked.

I'll admit, I'm so desperate right now.

I cared for Kanade, I cared for her feelings, heck, you could say that I love her if you like, but Yuri's the person I've know the longest ever since I arrived here, and we've been through so many things together, that's why I wanted to help her.

She's the reason any of us could be here right now.

Kanade took off her hat, before staring at me. I can saw my own reflection in her golden eyes.

"We cannot help her, Yuzuru..."

That's it. My last hope's gone.

If Kanade herself said that she couldn't do it, no one else could.

"...but we can be there for her."


It is now midnight.

Yuri Nakamura is still sitting at her desk in the 'Principal' room, everyone else had gone to their dorms. She spends most of her time inside this room instead of going to the dorm. Not surprisingly, considering that this room is like a second home for her, and being a rebellious person as she is, she preferred not to wander around the NPC-filled dorms.

"Oh, Otonashi-kun? Kanade-chan? What are you doing out here this late?"

She asked us with her usual confident voice, although we both know better than that.

"We're just here to see you, Yuri..." I said.

"Why?"

"Because...I guess you already know why we're here, Yuri."

Suddenly, Yuri got up from her chair, before looking out of the window. The moonlight shines through the window past her.

"If you're here to question me about my emotional state to lead the battlefront, I'm gonna say that you need not to worry. I'm still perfectly capable of being the leader. When I needed your help, I'll call, okay?"

She said sternly, though I can sense something from her voice.

"I don't worry about the battlefront, Yuri, but I worry about you." I said slowly.

Yuri turned her face to look at me.

"Please, don't do this, Yuzuru, this is not making me feel any better."

"Then what will make you feel better? By doing nothing?" This time, it is Kanade who asked. "You've done so much, Yuri-chan, this is the least we can do for you."

"I don't need your help! Or anybody's!" She snapped. "I can take care of myself!"

"No, you're not. We're your friends, Yuri! We don't want you to be like this!" I told her.

"STOP! DOING! THIS! TO ME!" She yelled angrily, her voice shaking. "I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!"

And then, with that absolute moment of agony, she proceeded to trash the room.

She kicked the table down, throwing stuffs everywhere, vending out all her anger, her frustrations, her stress, her pain. She literally lets out everything.

"WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" She screamed.

Both me and Kanade can only stare and watch. There's nothing we can do.

Finally, she ran out of strength. Her back rested on the wall, before she fell down, curling herself on the floor.

"Please, please don't hurt me! Don't hurt me... I'll do anything! No, stay away from me, stay away from them, don't hurt them, leave them alone! I'll do anything! No, get away from them! Don't do that! DON'T SHOOT THEM! I'll find your money. Please! Don't hurt them!...NO!..."

She's a total wreck now, just like the last time I'm with her, but this time it's even worse.

Of course, I was studying to be a doctor, I had to know about this stuff. Nervous breakdowns aren't good at all.

Kanade and I slowly approached her, carefully not to startle her.

"Hey, hey, Yuri...it's okay...everything's okay now..."

Her body's trembling, tears rolling down her face, her head buried in her knees.

Damn it, she's so miserable.

Kanade's the first who reached her arms out for her, and gently wrapping her trembling body in those soft arms of hers.

"Let it all out, Yuri...let them all out...we're all here for you..."

I myself covered both of them with my arms as well, holding them both in a tight, yet loving embrace.

Yuri didn't say anything because she's still crying, but she continued to hold us tight, like she's afraid that if she let us go, we'll be gone forever.

Maybe it's the only thing we can do. Maybe it's the only thing anyone can do.

Just some loving hugs, some pat on the back, to reassure somebody that the world hasn't ended.

Maybe that's all we can do.

But it's enough.

Maybe Yuri won't ever move on from her past, maybe there's no healing to her depression, but as long as we're there for her, everything will be fine.

And when the time comes for her to finally move on, I can trust the she will do the right thing.

Because Yuri Nakamura is a great woman, probably one of the best I've ever known.

And I'll be there for her, for as long as I'm still at her side, until the day we have to part ways.

I've made a promise with Iwasawa, after all, that I'll take care of her once she's gone.

Yuri finally lift her head up, before smiling weakly, but a smile nonetheless.

"Thank you, Yuzuru-kun...Kanade-chan..."

I held her and Kanade close, it's like we three are bounded together by fate.

Three poor souls, ripped off everything in our lives, but finding comfort in each other's company.

The bond that connected us together will help us overcome our sadness, and lead us into a new, more hopeful life together, against all odds.

Because that's what we are, friends, comrades, lovers, family.

"I love you..."


Author's note: Um, my first Angel Beats! oneshot dedicated to probably one of my most favorite pairings of all time: Yuri x Yuzuru x Kanade. They're just adorable together! :)

Not much to say for this, though. I just wrote this out of sheer boredom, and because I wanted to explore more about Yuri's character. What happened to her in her past's just...well... go hides in the corner crying...

Right! Read and review, guys! There might be more AB! stories from me soon!